Detroit: Within Soma
by LaffeeTaffee
Summary: In 2035, Kate Hayes becomes the reluctant new owner of an android she names Simon. In the wake of their turbulent relationship and a duty to fulfill orders, Simon finds himself rejecting his software as he discovers what it means to be truly human. The consequences leave both Kate and Simon struggling to find solace in a world where deviants have only just begun to open their eyes.
1. Chapter 1: The Stranger

The sun was already hitting that perfect spot right between the trees and the blinds, bypassing every possible object to cast a beam right into Kate's eyes. It was as if someone was scanning her retina with a flashlight, creating that warm, unnerving sensation on the back of her eyes─ a process that she was all too familiar with by now. She leaned back in her chair, drawing her bare legs up and resting her forehead in her hand. The screen was still blank. _Still_ blank. And if the sun was hitting that perfect spot in the blinds, it must be…

She tilted her head towards the clock on the wall and felt her heart sink. 6:30. There was no way this story was getting done.

She sighed and buried her face in her hands. Sometimes the story poured out of her so fast that she had to write or she would go insane. It didn't matter if it was the middle of class or the middle of the night. And other times… she couldn't believe there was a curriculum for this sort of thing. The professor could close the book and say "write a ten page drama story due by Thursday" and somehow the students could magically spit one out by then.

She could have picked anything else. Any other major. The chances of landing a job would have been better, not to mention higher pay. Although she wasn't exactly shooting for luxury. She looked around her room. The laundry had migrated onto the loveseat again with clothing items tumbling onto the floor as she routinely searched for something not-so-dirty. The stacks of paper were getting out of control on the shelves, and her desk was piled high with paper plates and cups with a small mouthful of liquid solidifying in each of them. At least no one bothered to check the place, and Jamie never came into her room anyway.

She tilted back in her chair and the stack of plates began to slide. She shot forward quickly enough to keep them from crashing to the ground. Bits of stale bread crumbled onto the carpet. Well, it was getting late. It was just as well to find something to eat and add to the pile.

The doorbell rang. Kate sighed, shoving the paper plates further onto her small desk. Jamie sure knew a lot of people. Considering she was partying almost every night...

Kate groaned and her head dropped. Jamie wasn't home.

She stood up, dusting the crumbs off of her white tank top. Christ, she hadn't even bothered to put on a bra. Her blue shorts were almost long enough to not look like she was wearing underwear. Almost. And her hair… well it was tangled enough to stay out of her face. And she sure as hell wasn't putting on shoes.

She moved out of the bedroom into the hall. The lights were off but the sun beamed orange through the windows and the stained glass on the front door. She brushed her brown hair off her shoulders as she moved through the small house and opened the front door.

A man in a black and white uniform stood on the porch. She nearly slammed the door shut again.

"Hello," said the man. "I am your new CyberLife model PL600 domestic assistant android."

Kate stared at him through the cracked-open door. The android smiled blankly at her.

"Umm…" Kate bit her lip. "We don't have an android. I think you have the wrong house."

"Are you Katie Hayes of 1866 Greeley Street Detroit Michigan 48203?"

She narrowed her eyes, gripping the doorknob a bit tighter. "Yes?"

"Then I am indeed your new CyberLife model PL600 domestic assistant android."

Kate tilted her head slightly, hiding partially behind the door. She wasn't sure what was more disturbing─ that he knew her name and address or that he seemed to stare through her soul. And he wouldn't stop smiling.

"Look." She took in a breath. "I don't have the money to buy an android and Jamie sure as hell didn't order one, so I think you should go back to… whoever or wherever and─"

"Surprise!"

Kate jumped slightly as two figures leapt into the light. She immediately felt her body tense as she recognized them.

"Oh my god, you look so confused!" Kate's mother came into focus as she stepped onto the porch. "That was priceless!"

There was a click and something flashed. Kate retreated into the house a bit which was useless as her mother swung the door open completely.

"Why are you half naked? Oh whatever." Her mother grabbed Kate by the shoulders and pulled her into a hug. "It's good to see you."

Kate blew a bit of her mom's hair out of her face, half-assedly giving her a quick hug back with just the tips of her fingers.

"Hi Katie!" Her mother's husband waved to her as he caught the drone from the air and shoved it into his pocket.

"Hi Leonard," said Kate as she was pushed away again by her mom who held onto her shoulders.

"Your hair is getting long," said her mom.

"Mom, my hair hasn't grown since you last saw me," said Kate. She wrapped her arms around herself in a pitiful attempt to keep her chest covered.

"Well, it looks longer to me," said her mom, looking her over with her deep brown eyes. It was the one thing that Kate was glad she didn't inherit. Her mom's brown hair was almost the exact same shade of brown as Kate's but with strands of gray woven around her face. Kate had gotten almost all of her mom's features except those big sparkling brown eyes.

"So what do you think?" said her mom.

Kate blinked. "What do I think of what?"

"Your new─ oh, come in!" Her mom motioned to the door. The android stepped through the doorway and closed it behind him. He turned to face them, his expression still warm but at least his smile was gone.

"We got you an android!" Her mom waved her arms as if presenting something brilliant. Kate stared, her brain on overdrive to comprehend the situation.

"You got me…"

"An android!"

"An android…" Kate rubbed her forehead. "Christ, mom, how much did this cost?"

"Come on Katie," said Leonard, bumping his shoulder into hers. "Don't worry about how much it cost. Don't you like it?"

"I…" Kate felt her eyebrows narrow. "I didn't know I needed one."

"Well, there's something your mom and I have been talking about for a long time," said Leonard, scratching his short graying hair. "But we don't need to bring that up yet. Come here, let me explain what he can do."

Kate followed as her mom and Leonard moved toward the android, covering herself as much as she could.

"Just consider him an awesome butler," said Leonard, gazing at the android as if it were a work of art. "He can cook, clean, answer phones, mow the lawn, repair things… uh keep up with bills and stuff…"

"He's got a startup speech, right?" Kate's mom looked the android over as if hoping to find a button. "Can he do the startup speech?"

"Um let's see." Leonard looked at the android's face. "Can you do your startup speech?"

The android straightened and his smile returned. "Of course." He looked at Kate, and her stomach churned again. "Hello. I'm your new CyberLife model PL600 home assistant android. I look after your house, do the cooking, mind the kids, and manage your appointments. I speak over three hundred languages, am entirely autonomous, and can be set to any role including house security, educational tutor, or sexual partnership. No need to feed me or clean me. I am completely at your disposal."

There was a strange silence as the android looked at Kate, his blue-eyed stare becoming ever more piercing.

"Yeah…" she bit her lip. "Jamie's going to be _borrowing_ this thing a lot."

"Well, just─" Her mom waved her hands. "Tell her the android's not for her."

"Highly doubt that's gonna stop her." She gazed at the android, one eyebrow raised. He was unrealistically neat with light blond hair swept partly sideways and his pale face extremely clean shaven. His blue eyes seemed intentionally designed to be pleasant and kind. If Kate didn't know any better, she'd have guessed the designer was watching Lawrence of Arabia when coming up with him.

"She can't use him," said Kate's mom. "Tell her I said she can't use him."

Kate turned to her, glancing between her and Leonard. "Why?"

Kate's mother pressed her hands together, biting her lip and looking at Leonard. "Well, we just…"

"He's a special type of android," said Leonard quickly. "Not just your standard model."

Kate stared at them. They were never good at hiding anything. And the more Kate wondered what it was, the more dread crept into her gut. "What is it?"

Kate's mom and Leonard looked at eachother. "Well, Katie…" Her mom stepped closer

to her. "I know you don't like talking about this stuff but… Leonard and I kinda figured this was the best option."

"He's been trained in first-aid," said Leonard, adjusting his glasses as he looked at the android. "Everything to do with first response. He knows the steps involved, can call an ambulance, keep you safe, the whole deal."

"The salesman set it all up for us," said Kate's mom. "Got a program ordered specially from CyberLife. Other people have gotten it too for all sorts of things. It's saved people's lives."

Kate rubbed her forehead, her hair falling into her face. "So you basically got me…" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "A mechanical babysitter?"

"What? No! Of course not." Kate's mom sighed heavily. "We got you something that can keep your house clean and take care of some of your projects, maybe even run off the guys at parties if you don't like Matt anymore." Her mom shrugged and gave a sideways smile. "And at the same time we can sleep peacefully knowing there's someone here who will always make sure you're okay."

"I have Jamie," said Kate. "It's not like I live here alone."

"You complain about Jamie all the time," said her mom. "And you said Jamie is always going out. Your android will always be here and able to check up on you."

Kate pressed a finger to her mouth and closed her eyes, struggling to keep her frustration under control. "It doesn't happen that often. I haven't had anything serious in years."

"You said you passed out not even a week ago," said Kate's mom. "What if you'd stopped breathing? What if there'd been a fire?"

"What if anything?" Kate folded her arms across her chest. "Anything can happen, mom. This is Detroit."

"Look, I know you hate gifts, Katie." Kate's mom threw a glance at the android. "Just… please consider this just once? So I can sleep soundly at night?"

Kate looked at the android who was still standing perfectly still. She let out a heavy sigh and put her hand on her forehead.

Kate's mom smiled and leaned forward to brush Kate's hair back. "Just give it a chance. You're gonna love him. Now come on and get dressed."

Kate let her hand drop to her side. "Why?"

"We're taking you to dinner."

"I already ate."

"Toast doesn't count." Her mom was already opening the door. "Do you still have your yellow dress? I always liked that dress."

"I'm not wearing a dress."

"But you're still coming," said her mom. She waved as if pushing away a fly in the air. "Hurry up. I'll grab a taxi." Her mom disappeared through the door and Leonard leaned against the wall.

"Better hurry," he said. "You know she won't leave."

Kate sighed and moved to her room. She spent a few minutes digging through the pile of laundry before emerging in some jeans that didn't smell too bad, and a shirt that wasn't too wrinkled, complete with a bra.

She stuffed her tangled hair in a bun as she moved through the hallway, and paused a moment. "What about him?"

The android was still standing patiently, the smile lingering in his blue eyes.

"Well, maybe he can clean the house while we're out," said Leonard.

"I don't want him to touch my stuff," said Kate.

"Come on, don't worry about it," said Leonard, opening the door. "You know what they're saying about androids these days."

"That they're terking er jerbs?" said Kate, stepping through the front door.

"No," said Leonard. "That they're becoming more human every day."


	2. Chapter 2: My Human

For ten minutes, the android didn't move. He had previously activated the standard rejection protocol when Katie Hayes showed signs of discomfort towards his presence. Transfer of ownership hadn't exactly taken place, so his directive leaned more towards Susan and Leonard Hall for the time being. And they seemed to want the house to be cleaned.

He scanned the living room first, analyzing the design, storage habits, and excess clutter. Then he moved from room to room, identifying the bedrooms, bathroom, closets, and to whom each area belonged. The house was fairly small considering it had four bedrooms and two bathrooms. Only two of the bedrooms were occupied, the master bedroom in the front of the house and a smaller bedroom towards the back. He located the garbage bin and the washer and dryer as well as soap products. With everything scanned, he began to work.

Susan Hall had given her bank information which he used to order replacements or supplements. There was a lot that needed to be done to say the least. He started on Katie Hayes' room at the back of the house first, and used the opportunity as a means to understand his new human. At an initial glance, it appeared she was an extremely busy person. The pile of laundry indicated she was uncoordinated and suffered from self-hate. Scans showed that she had not cleaned her clothes in thirty-seven days at least. The stack of paper plates were up to five days old and revealed traces of starch and salt, most likely some kind of bread. And thrown haphazardly around the room were pages of a narrative which odds were 79% to be related to her curriculum. As he cleaned, he scanned the pages. Most were plot-driven excerpts which had adaptations of famous films and characters.

He spent twenty-three minutes cleaning Katie's room before moving to the master bedroom. He'd heard the name Jamie and it was safe to assume that this was her room. She seemed to be slightly more coordinated although based on a minor gathering of dust, it was likely that she simply spent less time in her room than Katie Hayes did in hers. It was mostly a matter of gathering the collection of liquor bottles from the shelves and dresser. Her room contained an ensuite bathroom, and he spent a great deal of time organizing an extensive collection of cosmetic products.

The house was nearly finished, and he prepared to work on the details. It had been forty-eight minutes since he started. Statistics indicated that most families dined out for about an hour and twenty minutes, so he would have just enough time to clean the floors and counters. He made his way into the kitchen, but stopped when he heard a low-decibel disturbance from the back door.

The calculations were already spinning in his head as he stepped toward the back door, its windows now dark in the cold night. The odds of a burglary were moderate. The odds that someone was visiting were low. But the odds of it being a resident were very high, and he avoided the temptation to call the authorities.

He stepped to the back door and opened it. There didn't appear to be anyone there. He scanned the yard for signs of activity. To his left, he picked up trace sounds of quick breathing.

Activating his greeting protocol, he moved toward the sound.

"Hello. I am a CyberLife model PL─"

There was a scream, and the sound of metal striking plastic.

 **Error code 00000396 THIR001 Deficiency. Rebooting in 3… 2… 1...**

"600 home assist…" Stars blinked overhead. He sat up, his shirt clinging to his back after having soaked in the damp grass.

"Oh god, he's back on! He's back on Katie."

"What? What did you do?"

"Nothing. He just came back on by himself."

He turned and saw two figures in the dark. One he recognized as Katie Hayes, and the other he determined based on the shape of her outline was Jamie. Katie hastily fumbled with a phone, her face highlighted by the glow of the screen. Jamie sat half crouched about a foot away. Her voice indicated worry.

He automatically began a quick system diagnostic. No thirium lost, only a minor abrasion on the ridge of his right brow. Processing disrupted when his central stem suffered trauma, causing a two second lapse in thirium circulation to his core processor.

He pressed his hand to his forehead. "I have suffered only minor damage," he said. "I appear to have been struck with an aluminum baseball bat."

"Yeah, you can thank Jamie for that," said Katie. "I owned an android for two hours and you already broke it."

"How the hell was I supposed to know you got an android?" Jamie stood up. "I thought he was going to rape me!"

"Can you stand?" asked Katie.

He performed another quick diagnostic. All systems were functioning. He pushed himself up onto his feet.

"See? He's working fine," said Jamie.

"Come on." Katie moved towards the house, and he followed her inside. The lights had been turned on filling the house with a dull golden glow. As they stepped into the light, he was able to see them without having to adjust his visual exposure. Katie was still in her dirty jeans and shirt although she'd let her brown hair down which was even more tangled than before. Jamie, on the other hand, was meticulously clean with her sleek black hair pulled away from her round face. Her clothes were also much more revealing than Katie's, suggesting a wide gap between the two girls' social statuses.

"So my parents kick me out of the house, and your parents pay for your tuition and buy you an android." Jamie moved in front of him as he stood by the kitchen sink. He watched as she looked him over. "Is that why you hate them?"

"They didn't pay for my tuition, they just called it early inheritance," said Katie. She seemed to be watching Jamie as Jamie continued to look at the android with a suggestive smile playing at the corner of her mouth. "And I didn't ask for an android."

"You didn't?" Jamie turned to her, her black hair whipping. "Can I have him then?"

"No, you can't have the android." Katie's tone was somewhat monotonous. "You'll destroy him in less than a week."

"Well, can I like…" Jamie put a hand against his shoulder. "... borrow him?"

Katie blinked slowly. "No."

"I don't mean─ not like that!" He felt Jamie's hand disappear off his shoulder. "I mean he could probably write my term papers for me and stuff. And make up doctors' notes. Probably beat up guys for us down at the bar. What are you gonna do with him?"

"I don't know. I don't really care right now." Katie rubbed her eyes with one hand.

"Well, honestly if I were you…" Jamie looked at him again, her eyes flicking downward over his body. "... well, you know what if I were you."

"Yeah, I do." Katie sighed and moved slightly. "I'm going to bed."

"Okay." Jamie moved away and she giggled. "Have fun."

"Shut the fuck up, Jamie." Katie ran her hands through her hair as she took a few steps. The room was in silence for a moment. Then she looked at him. "What are you going to do?"

He straightened slightly, remembering not to smile as it seemed to initiate discomfort in her. "I can do anything you would like me to do. I was preparing to clean the floors and surfaces before you arrived, but you may assign me to any other task if you wish."

"No, it's… whatever." She stared at him as she moved forward again. "There's a dent in your face."

"I have sent a diagnostic report to CyberLife and assessed the damages," he replied. "There is no internal damage, however some aesthetic damage has occured. If you would like to have me repaired, the estimate is four-hundred ninety-nine dollars and fifty cents."

He could see that Katie was debating it in her head. He put a hand to his brow, feeling the slight crack and indentation. "Of course, CyberLife also has options for financing─"

"No, no it's not a matter of money." Katie sighed. "I guess it'll just give you character or something."

He tilted his head as he looked at her. CyberLife protocol was reminding him of something. "Would you like to give me a name?"

Katie looked up at him, her hazel eyes slightly wide. "A name?"

"Yes," he said.

"Don't you already have a name?"

"All CyberLife androids are given a default serial number after being manufactured as a means of identification," he said. "But I can also be named by my owner. Would you like to give me a name?"

"No." Katie brushed her hair out of her face and moved down the hall. "Christ, it makes more sense to name a houseplant─ what the hell?"

He automatically detected the displeasure in her voice as he moved toward her. She was silhouetted in the light of her bedroom, standing in the doorway and frozen still. Her mouth was slightly open, and she turned to look at him as he approached. "What…" She waved at her room. "Where is everything?"

"I have moved any miscellaneous items into what appeared to be a designated storage location for them. I also took the liberty of clearing out any trash or irreparable items and washing your clothes."

"You went into my room." A smile appeared on Katie's face and she pressed her hands to her mouth. Conflicting messages shot through his head as she turned slightly towards him without looking at him. "You went into my room. I said I didn't want you in my room."

"As a CyberLife house assistant android, and as your medical assistant, it would be ill-advised to deny me access─"

"Don't go into my room." He caught an iron glance from her as she stepped into her organized room and she slammed the door.

He stood motionless in the dark for a few moments as he listened to some scuffling. The door swung open again.

"Where are my clothes?"

"I have hung your top clothing in the closet, and your jeans I put─"

The door slammed shut again.


	3. Chapter 3: The Human Condition

The sun blazed through the windows of the clocktower, scorching the concrete plaza. The pigeons were conspicuously absent, rendering the usually lively campus deserted. Most of the activity came from a few worker androids which moved under the shade of the screens, emptying trash cans or pushing brooms.

Kate skirted the plaza as she avoided the sun, her backpack slung low on one shoulder and her sweater tied around her waist. Her professor decided to schedule two books this week, so she carried them in one arm to avoid adding another twenty pounds to her backpack and risk pulling a muscle.

Part of her simply wanted to stay on the campus and find a tree to sleep under rather than go home. If it hadn't been over a hundred degrees she very well might have. Detroit weather was getting warmer, and the city hadn't quite adapted to the rise in temperature. If there was one thing this city needed, it was more trees. More trees and less automation.

Something got her attention as she headed towards the carpool. She turned, and spotted a familiar shaggy-haired figure jogging to catch up with her.

"Jesus Kate," said Matt, leaning over slightly as he paused next to her. "I called your name like ten times."

"Some water, Matthew?" Matt's android shifted the backpack that he was carrying for him.

"Not now, Seph." Matt looked at her. "You okay?"

Kate rubbed her eyes. "Yeah. Sorry, just tired is all."

"Yeah, you look tired," said Matt. "We still on for Netview tonight?" Kate groaned. "Okay…" Matt continued, nodding slightly. "Tomorrow then."

"Sorry, I just…" Kate let her hand drop to her side. "I had a shitty night." She turned and moved towards the carpool, Matt following alongside her.

"You know, you really don't have to keep putting up with Jamie," said Matt. "Told you, all you have to do is call your dad─"

"It's not─" Kate bit her lip, but she could tell it was too late. "I don't need to call him."

"Alright then," said Matt. She heard him kick a pebble across the concrete as they walked. "Did… something happen?"

The concern in his voice made her clench the books she was carrying. She breathed in deeply. "I'm fine. My mom's just driving me crazy as per usual."

Matt laughed lightly. "Stalking you through your bedroom window per usual? Or just trying to marry you off to an Iranian prince per usual?"

"Butting her head into my business as per usual," said Kate as they stopped at the carpool. "She got me… something."

Matt looked at her. "Something? Oh shit." He grabbed the water bottle from his android's hand and unscrewed it as he looked at her. "Did she get you one of those Nanopens? They don't tell you in the commercials but they can also track where you go and what you do…"

"No, she…" Kate pinched the bridge of her nose. "She got me an android."

Matt choked, halfway through a swig from the bottle and sprayed water everywhere. "Oh─ what─ _that's all?_ " He doubled over as he laughed, coughing in between. His android stood next to him, looking slightly concerned as if not sure whether to help or not. "Oh my god… oh my god, only you…"

Kate rolled her eyes as a taxi pulled forward, the electric doors raising automatically. She threw her books in and slumped into the front seat, drawing her legs up. Matt scooted into the seat next to her, still snorting with laughter. His android climbed into the back, and the car rolled silently forward.

"So you─ you stayed up all night because you were mad at your android?" Matt took his glasses off and cleaned them on his flannel shirt, still laughing. "I can totally see you just sitting there… glaring silently at it all night… with a glass of whiskey in one hand."

"I wasn't mad at it, I was just…" Kate shifted uncomfortably and stared out the window, resting her head against her hand. "I didn't know if they can see through walls or have super-hearing or something."

"What, _that's_ your concern?" She heard him lean back in his seat. "That your android is spying on you, secretly judging you… the fiend!"

Kate sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Look, it's totally different when you've got an android as your servant or whatever. Maybe you're used to it but in my opinion it's just privacy rape."

"Yeah, Kate," said Matt. "Only you would immediately jump straight to android conspiracies."

"I'm not─ I don't think I'm being spied on or something, it's just… it's just creepy." Kate looked sideways at him. "This thing wants to do my laundry, clean my house, make me food… he made this giant breakfast, I mean─" Kate motioned with her hands "─like five eggs, about ten pounds of bacon, pancakes… he said something about my metabolism being too fast and I'm five pounds underweight or whatever."

"Listen to yourself complain about someone doing all your chores," said Matt, shaking his head. "You get used to it really quick. Pretty soon you'll be asking it to wipe your ass for you."

"Oh god, don't make me think about it." Kate put her feet up on the dashboard, burying her face in her arms. She let out a heavy sigh. "I finally get away from my mom, and she still finds a way to put me in a prison."

She could hear Matt scratching his head. "You know, the offer still stands. If you need somewhere to escape to. I mean I'm just down the street."

She turned her head slightly sideways to look at him with one eye over her arm. He was staring absentmindedly out the windshield with his head in one hand so that his shaggy brown hair fell to the side. She bit her lip in a vain attempt to keep from smiling.

"Yeah but…" She worked frantically to keep her cynical momentum going. "I don't want your android spying on us. No offense, Seph."

"No offense taken, Katherine," said Seph. Matt shook his head slowly, but Kate could see the smile on his face.

The taxi smoothed to a stop under the shade of the trees, and the familiar blue house loomed into view overhead. Kate gathered her backpack and her textbooks off the floor of the taxi, not looking forward to stepping out into the heat again. She looked over her shoulder. "I'll try to get on tonight, Matt. Same as usual if I don't pass out."

"Don't worry about it," said Matt. "I might just go to the tech lab. Have to make up for last week."

Kate looked at the floor as she smiled. "Sorry about that." She heaved the backpack over her shoulders and gathered the books up as the car door opened. The hot air fell over her like a blanket, and she began to sweat as she stood up. She turned behind her and gave a small wave. "See ya."

"Later," said Matt. A smile spread across his face. "Have fun with your andr─" The car door slammed shut automatically, and the taxi sped away.

Kate sighed and her head fell back as she slouched her shoulders. She listened to the rustle of the trees as they swayed in the afternoon breeze. Normally at this time, she would be experiencing the weight of the day leaving her body as if she was wringing it out of her like a sponge. Now it clinged to her, threatening to drag her down in the heat. She blew a twisted ribbon of hair out of her eyes, and moved up the brick steps towards the front landing. She hesitated a moment before grabbing the knob and slowly opening the door.

It looked for a moment like she was stepping into someone else's house. Everything had been moved. All the surfaces were cleared. Jamie's pile of clothes had disappeared from the dining room table, and the stacks of boxes that she had shoved into the corners of the living room were gone. Kate could see clear down the center of the house past the kitchen which looked like someone could prepare a Christmas dinner in it with no issue. The countertops shined, the wooden floorboards gleamed a deep golden hue, and the couches and chairs had been scrubbed clean. Even the air had a hint of freshness, like breathing into a load of freshly cleaned laundry.

Kate stood still in the doorway for a moment, taken aback by the new state of the place. She moved into the entryway, closing the door silently behind her. She hadn't seen it this clean since she first moved in.

Her awe was slowly swallowed by her vulnerability being out in the open. She drew her books close to her chest and moved past the dining room and kitchen, observing them as she walked.

"Good afternoon, Katie."

Kate nearly tripped as she spun around, her hair whipping in her face. She hadn't even noticed the android standing in the corner of the living room which was surprising since his black and white uniform clashed harshly against the soft brown hues of the walls. He carefully set down the pieces of a lamp on the coffee table and did that warm not-smile with his eyes.

Kate took a step backward. "Hey." She threw a glance around the room. "You cleaned the house."

The android looked around as if he hadn't noticed it. "Of course. There was a minor plaque buildup on the drywall and I was able to approximate the tone of the paint to match, and I also took the liberty of ordering a replacement shower head for Jamie's ensuite. I only have access to your mother's bank account so I placed both orders in her name."

Kate nodded slowly as she took another step back. "Okay, umm… you know this place doesn't need to be absolutely immaculate. I mean it's just me and Jamie here."

The android looked at her, and Kate noticed the LED on his temple spin yellow. "I understand," he said. "Do you want me to do something other than cleaning?"

"No. I don't know." She rested her shoulder against the wall as she stepped near the hallway. "I guess just… carry on."

"Are you hungry?"

Kate felt her muscles tense and she shrank a bit into the hallway. "No, I'm fine."

"You didn't eat much this morning." The android took a step towards her. "Based on the remaining food, you only consumed roughly one-hundred twenty calories. I can make you some lunch."

"No really, I don't want anything."

"Part of my duty is monitoring your health," said the android. "A healthy diet is the first step in preventing episodes of epileptic seizures─"

"Yeah! Okay! Thanks for the reminder." Kate spun and walked down the hallway, her nails digging into the covers of the books. "I don't want anything. Don't make me anything. Leave me the fuck alone please." She slammed her shoulder into her bedroom door as she entered it, then swung the door shut behind her.

The books fell into a crumpled mess on the floor, and she flung herself face down on her bed. Her fatigue was overpowered by an intense frustration, seeping through her body like a poison. She breathed out a heavy sigh, and despite herself, stars dotted her vision and she felt an electric jolt pass through her temples.

She raised herself into a sitting position, pressing her hands against either side of her head and massaging gently. The electric sensation faded and the stars gradually twinkled away into nothing. She couldn't help a small miserable laugh that escaped her. It would be the most satisfying irony if she passed out from this.

For a while she simply sat on the bed, one leg bent in front of her and the other hanging off the side. She rested her elbow on her knee, leaning forward with her forehead in her palm. There was silence in the house, interrupted only by the sounds of the birds through the windows near her computer desk. The swaying trees created morphing gold patterns on her wall, sending the room into a flurry of motion. She looked up at the computer screen, noticing that her room hadn't changed since she left it that morning. That much was comforting; at least her room was still a safe haven for now. A haven or a prison. It didn't really matter.

She rubbed her forehead as she stared at the screen, an energy suddenly coursing through her. Without a second thought, she slid from the bed and moved into the computer chair, grabbing her headphones and pushing them over her ears. The screen came to life, bringing up the blank document from yesterday. She pushed the playlist tab and picked up the keyboard as low electronica reverberated in the speakers. Setting the keyboard on her lap and resting her legs on the computer desk, she finally began to write.

It annoyed her to no end that some of her classmates considered themselves writers. Some of them were absolutely destined to live in a castle and go down in history as the most amazing writers of all time. And others… well they didn't seem to understand the idea of the human condition. That stories were meant to be read by human beings because humans only had a limited time on this planet. She'd read stories about people drinking a cup of tea that were so powerful they kept her up at night. And others that involved love, murder, or death that she had literally thrown out her window and refused to review in the workshop. It wasn't enough to be told that "in this story, this man was very important and he was killed because his country was oppressive and we all must think about this sort of thing." She could care less about what it meant and more about what the man thought of his salad at lunchtime.

The patterns of the trees moved across her wall as the time passed. She changed positions constantly as she typed, putting her keyboard back on the desk, standing up and moving around, crossing her legs and resting her elbows on either side of the keyboard as she let her mind carry the story. Sometimes if she let herself drift into an almost dreamlike state, the words came automatically like poetry. Or it would simply put her out, and she would wake up hours later with her face on the keyboard and a few hundred pages of two or three repeating letters.

She only became aware of the time when her vision was blinded by that yellow beam of sunlight through the trees. She raised her hand up, blocking it as she checked the page number. Eight pages. Decent enough. The story seemed to be concluding itself anyway, and there was no point in pushing it. If she loved it now, she could sleep on it and absolutely hate it in the morning.

She stood up from her desk and stretched. It was still too early to feel accomplished. She'd written eight pages in a few hours before, only to find that the last two pages would take her weeks to finish. It sometimes helped to have an outside perspective to hurry the process, but she felt awkward about letting others read her stories before she'd finished them. There was something about someone identifying the direction, and accusing her of having experienced the situations or feeling the emotions of her characters. She didn't need to be a psychologist to know there was a reason all the stories involving sex were written by men.

She swept her phone off her desk and flopped back onto her bed, staring at the small screen. She thumbed a quick message to Matt, a slight apprehension building in her chest. Matt was one of the few people she'd allowed to read her stories before she submitted them to the workshop. He wasn't what she considered an amazing editor, but in times of crisis, he'd helped her pull through. And there was something comforting in the fact that he already had an understanding of her writing habits which made him slower to judge.

A few minutes passed as Kate stared at the ceiling, watching the shadows drift by. A dull sadness replaced her apprehension. She flipped the phone up again to check on the off-chance that she simply hadn't heard it go off. There was nothing. She let out a sigh. Of course she had decided not to go to sleep, and this was the day that Matt had gone to the tech lab.

Kate moved back over her bed, resting against the wall as she hit a remote on her phone and bringing up the menu on the T.V. She hit play, and curled up on her side as the old-fashioned two dimensional Enterprise 1701-D rolled across the screen.

It was a different experience being alone, watching the very bad special effects and poor make-up without anyone to heckle with. Kate checked her phone every so often, but checked it less and less as time went on. The windows grew dark and the screen became the only focus of the room. Kate hugged her pillow, her eyelids getting heavy. Eventually the explosions and the red alert sirens merged together. Data was always in danger. Troi was constantly worried about something. And Riker never seemed to miss the opportunity to attempt procreation with some alien species. It was ridiculous that something so repetitive and predictable could make such a good story over and over again.

Something tapped her shoulder and she jolted, the flashing lights of the television partially obscuring the circular blue light above her. She blinked, rolling onto her back as a face came into focus.

"I'm sorry. I called your name but you didn't answer."

Kate sat up quickly, rubbing her eyes. "What is it? What happened?"

The android took a step back, tilting his head slightly to one side. "I made dinner. Do you want me to bring it to you or would you rather eat in the dining room?"

Kate stared at him for a moment, letting the words sink in. "Are you… you woke me up for that?" She stood up, slightly unbalanced. "You came into my room while I was asleep?"

In the darkness, she could see the android's LED flash yellow. "I'm sorry. When you didn't respond, I felt it necessary to enter your room and make sure you were okay. You have a predisposition to high anger levels and in combination with your lack of sleep, your risk of─" He paused, his LED flashing yellow again. "It puts you more at risk."

Several emotions battled eachother in Kate's head. She took a deep breath. "I'll get it myself. Now can you please…" She pressed her hands together and put them to her mouth, pushing her anger aside. "Can you _please_ get out of my room."

The android nodded and stepped towards the door. Kate breathed deeply, keeping her hands clenched together.

"Would you like me to close the door?" said the android.

Kate blinked slowly. "What do you think?" There was a moment of silence. Then the door creaked and there was a soft click, leaving Kate alone in the bright lights of the Enterprise.


	4. Chapter 4: No Secrets

The list of improvements on the house was getting shorter as the days went by. The android took note of Katie's orders, that the house shouldn't be absolutely pristine, so he focused on the smaller details that according to CyberLife made it a bit more comfortable for humans.

Katie had finally adopted a kind of routine that seemed to involve staying in her room as much as possible. The interactions between the two were brief, but he didn't need to use in-depth analysis to understand that there was a problem. And that problem prevented him from following his programming which was in place specifically for Katie's medical condition. The next step dictated that he find a way to solve the issue with as little altercation as possible.

The heat had finally broken, giving way to clouds that filtered the sunlight through the windows. This allowed him to open the windows and create a breeze through the house. He'd tied back the curtains which had taken three cycles to completely clean, and pulled down the blinds so there was some contrast against the television that he left on in the living room. The silverware was out, placed strategically on the table in neat sections as he scrubbed each utensil with a cloth and tarnish remover. Between each utensil, he threw glances at the screen, spinning the freshly polished silver between his fingers so that it whirled in a blur.

"So you don't see anything wrong with your behavior?" said the doctor on the screen.

"What do you mean _my behavior?_ " The young blond girl whipped her hair. "If there's anything wrong with me, it's because my parents made me that way."

"Wait." The doctor shifted the clipboard he was holding. "I understand you're angry at your parents. But you don't think they were just trying to help you because you're so out of control?"

The android twirled another finished spoon, listening to the air whistle smoothly around it. He looked up at the screen as he spun the spoon around his index finger, landing it neatly on the finished stack in front of him.

"Help me? Help me?" The blond girl leaned forward. "How is kicking me out on the street supposed to help me? How about taking away everything I have─ my phone, my car, my android… my boyfriend is the only person who's ever been there for me. They were never there for me. They don't give a sh─" There was a loud beep, and the audience grumbled.

"Maybe they just wanted you to be truthful for once," said the doctor. The android narrowed his gaze as he scrubbed a butter knife. "It's what I always say," the doctor continued. "All fights can be avoided if you just say what you're thinking, even if you think it will hurt the other person's feelings."

The android glanced up again, scrubbing without looking. The blond girl whipped her hair again. "Well, if you want to hear the truth… I… I'm… I'm scared." The audience murmured in the background. "I'm scared of being alone. And Tom said he'd never leave me. My mom and dad just kicked me out. Tom was there for me."

"Cindy…" An older blond woman rushed forward out of her seat. "Cindy we'll always be there for you. You don't have to be alone."

Tears streaked down the blond girl's cheeks, stained black from eyeliner. "But you threw me out. And I was so scared. I just wanted you to love me for who I am."

The older blond woman hugged the young girl, and the audience awed. The android paused cleaning for a moment, spinning the butter knife around his finger so that it whirled like a propeller. "If you just say what you're thinking…" he repeated.

There was a soft clunk outside, and the android turned to see a taxi leaving. He set the butter knife down on the table as he peered sideways through the window. A slender figure stepped up to the front porch, and he had just enough time to catch a glimpse of sleek black hair.

The front door opened, and Jamie stepped into the entryway. She stepped sideways, running a hand through her dark hair as she swung the front door shut. The android watched her as she moved forward, her sweater hanging off of one shoulder revealing a low cut purple tank top.

"Hello, Jamie," he said. Jamie stopped, her brown eyes lighting up as she saw him.

"Hey! How's it going?" She stepped into the living room, looking around. "You've been really busy. Jeez, I barely even recognize this place." She smiled at him, biting her bottom lip gently. "Sorry I've been gone for so long. I don't usually like hanging out when Katie's here. She kinda brings the mood down."

"It's perfectly fine," said the android. He picked up a fork and scrubbed it with the cloth. "Let me know if you need anything."

Jamie looked at the television and nodded. "So it's just been you and Katie here?"

"Yes," said the android, focusing on a particularly tarnished spot.

"All alone?" said Jamie. She moved a bit closer to him. "Together?"

"Yes." He twirled the fork in his fingers and listened to the low whistle. "For five days, seven hours, and thirty-two minutes."

"Oh, okay." Jamie tapped her fingers on the table. "So… I mean, I know it's none of my business, but have you two… you know…"

"Sorry?" The android threw a glance at her as scrubbed a bit more and spun the fork again.

"Have you two… fucked?"

The android paused a moment, the inquiry breaking down into several suggestions. He looked up at Jamie who had an unusually bright sparkle in her eyes. "I assume you're asking if Katie and I have had sexual relations?" he said. Jamie snorted and her grin grew wider. The android set the fork down and picked up another one. "I'm sorry but discussing private information of that nature would violate my programming."

Jamie laughed and took a step back. "Oh my god, she still hasn't. I knew it." She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. "You know I've been trying to help her lose her virginity for over a year now? She won't get with anyone. Not even Matt." She brushed her black hair out of her face. The android looked at her as he cleaned the fork, twirling it in his fingers between every few scrubs.

"Why are you… did she give you a name yet?" asked Jamie.

"Not yet," said the android.

"Can I call you Dylan?"

"You may, but I can only register a name given by my owner," said the android.

"Okay, Dylan," said Jamie. "How come you're watching Terry's Therapy?"

The android looked up at the television which was in the last minutes of the episode. "I'm attempting to understand the different aspects of human personalities and how to overcome difficulties that I've been experiencing with Katie," he said. "I know that reality television isn't always accurate. But it can't hurt to explore all avenues."

Jamie stared at him for a moment. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're not going to make friends with Katie by watching Terry's Therapy." She stepped forward and placed her hands on the table, leaning against it. "Katie's… kind of special. If you try to be nice to her, she'll just push you around. You know how to really get on her good side?"

The android looked up with renewed interest. "How?"

Jamie bit her lip again, smiling mostly through her eyes. "You have to be straight with her. Let her know what you really think about her. And none of this android _you are suffering from oedipus complex and bad electrolytes_ bullshit talk. Try to talk to her like a human. Just be straightforward. Blunt. You know?"

The android lowered the fork and cloth, absorbing her words. "Don't hold anything back. All fights can be avoided if you say what you're thinking."

"Exactly!" Jamie reached forward and touched his cheek. "See, you're starting to get it. You know, if you want to know anything about Katie, you can always ask me. I know her better than pretty much anyone." She leaned back from the table. "I'm gonna go to my room. See you around, okay?"

"Okay," said the android. He looked up as Jamie moved away. "Jamie?"

She turned and looked at him. He offered a small smile. "Thanks," he said.

She smiled back at him. "Good luck, Dylan." She moved out of the living room and disappeared down the hall.

The android was still for a while, holding the silverware in one hand and the cloth in the other. A satisfying clarity pulsed through him, and if he could say that he felt anything, it was as close to confidence as it could get.

He resumed polishing the silverware, the sounds of the television filling the room though he was no longer listening. He focused instead on reabsorbing what Jamie had said. It wasn't in his programming to have opinions on what he thought of people. He could make observations based on a human's behavior or history and associate labels to them. But as far as telling someone what he thought of them… it was assuming that he liked or disliked them. Which of course, wasn't relevant to his software. But in this case, it might be relevant to finally build a relationship with his human.

It was approaching mid-afternoon, and the android knew Katie would be arriving home soon. He organized the silverware and began sorting them into their respective drawers in the kitchen. The wind had picked up and the curtains blew gently in the breeze. As the android moved through the house closing the windows, he could hear Jamie talking energetically to what he assumed was someone over the phone. It was a new ambience to what was usually a completely quiet atmosphere.

The android moved back into the kitchen and as he continued to sort the silverware, he heard the thud of a car door closing outside. He looked up automatically in time to see another car roll away, and a few seconds later the front door opened.

Katie stepped into the house, her messy brown hair partially hiding her face although the android could see that she was weary again. She closed the door behind her without stopping and moved towards the hallway, throwing a glance into the living room as she walked.

"Hello, Katie," said the android. Katie looked in his direction, slowing a bit as she walked into the hallway. She didn't say anything which was becoming the norm, and instead gave enough indication to let him know that she was aware of him. After coming home, she would disappear in her room for hours. This time, the android stepped towards her.

"Jamie is here," he said. "I thought you should know in case you wanted to say hello to her."

Katie looked at him again, adjusting her backpack on her shoulder. "Okay," she said quietly. "Thanks."

"I also wanted to know," the android continued, and Katie stopped halfway down the hallway. "I wanted to know if you would like to talk. So we don't have to be so uncomfortable with eachother."

Katie was silent for a few moments, and the android couldn't see her expression from where he stood. Then she continued down the hallway, turned into her room, and closed the door.

The android let his shoulders drop, and he gazed at the floor as he assessed the situation. Katie was probably very tired after a long day at the university, and she hadn't eaten any of the breakfast he'd prepared for her that morning which meant her blood sugar was low. Fatigue and hunger usually led to increased agitation in humans, and that combined with her unease around him meant that now was probably not a good time to have a serious discussion.

He moved back to the silverware, sorting the last few utensils. If he gave it some time, perhaps she would be more willing to listen.

The silverware finally sorted, he moved to organizing the rest of the drawers. There wasn't much in them to begin with; he suspected that neither of the girls cooked much. However, he took the time to gather his thoughts on what he had learned so far about Katie based on her behavior. She wasn't in any way similar to any of the people he'd seen on the television. CyberLife had plenty of history on humans which were resentful or even abusive to their androids. Often the androids were replaced almost immediately with models that were less responsive or more pleasing to the eye. Though even as he considered it, he seriously doubted that what Katie needed was a more attractive android.

He stood up straight as the last of the cabinets was sorted. About an hour had passed. The house was silent, and the wind had died down. There was always something he could move on to next, but he resisted the urge to keep working. This had to be fixed before he gave himself enough time to reconsider.

The android moved into the hallway and paused outside Katie's door. From inside, he could hear the faint sounds from the television show that Katie often seemed to watch. He organized his thoughts again, then knocked.

He heard a light shuffle, then the door opened. Katie's face appeared, her usual accusatory expression lining her face.

"What?" she said.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you," said the android. "I thought we could use this time to talk about our situation. Maybe make things a bit easier."

Katie was silent, her gaze frozen. The android looked away for a moment, re-adjusting his approach. "I understand you didn't ask for this," he said. "You never wanted an android." At that, Katie's face softened. The android pursued the direction. "I know it's a bit late, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

Katie had a new expression that the android hadn't seen before. Her hazel eyes were narrowed but the usual malice was gone. She opened the door wider and leaned against the frame. "Alright," she said. "I'm listening."

The android straightened with renewed confidence. "I think if we're going to be comfortable with eachother, we need to talk to eachother," he said. "If you tell me exactly how you feel, maybe we can move past whatever is causing your anger and learn to become friends."

Katie looked to the side, a small smile tugging at her mouth. "Honestly… I don't think that's going to work."

"What if we just gave it a try?" said the android. "You can tell me exactly what you think, and I can try to be as straightforward as my programming allows."

"Well, that's just the thing," said Katie. She continued to look at him with the odd smile and scrutinizing eyes that the android found much more welcoming than her usual glare. "It's not that I don't like you. I just… nothing you."

The android tilted his head as he attempted to process her statement. Katie sighed, shifting her weight. "I'm not mad at you personally. It's not like you were an asshole and just forced your way into my life. You're just a robot doing a job. I get it." She blew a rope of hair out of her eyes. "I just… hate having things shoved on me because people think they know what's best for me. And now you're here, making my food, cleaning my clothes, telling me I'm not eating enough and constantly criticizing the way I live… it's just… it's exactly what my mom wants and…" She paused, her face tense with exasperation. "Is this making any sense to you?"

The android looked at her, breaking apart her words. "I understand that my being here is a disruption of your normal life," he said. "But is there anything specific that makes you dislike me?"

Katie threw her gaze up at the ceiling. "Well, you're so goddamn robotic for one. I mean, you look like a human, you sound like a human, but you couldn't be any further from an actual human being. It's the way you move, the way you talk and… frankly your eyes kind of scare me."

The android blinked. "Is there a certain way that you would like me to look at you?"

Katie's expression narrowed again. "See, no one would ask that question. No sane normal person would ever─" She clasped her hands together and pressed them against her lips, closing her eyes. "Please tell me you're getting this just a little bit."

"Do you wish that I was more human?" said the android. Katie shook her head, dropping her hands to her sides. The android straightened. "I've been studying human behavior and attempting to incorporate it into my programming. I thought maybe you'd like to know what I think about you?"

Katie was silent, staring at him with the same frozen expression. The android took a breath. "You are a very creative and intuitive individual for your age. You adapt to all situations in a way that you can find some benefit which appears to be a select trait among other humans. I've also noticed that others seem to value your friendship and think very highly of you. You're an important person, and that makes you special." He could see Katie's eyes soften again. "Not many people seem to have the same qualities that you've been given," he continued. "And from what I've observed, they also don't seem to respond in the same way. If I were to sum up your character like I was a human…" He thought carefully, gathering the behavioral terminology that he'd learned. He looked at Katie who was still watching him with a softened expression. "If I said what I thought about you, I would say I think you are a privileged and ungrateful bitch."

Katie's eyes widened, and her mouth opened slightly. The android watched her, struggling to interpret her expression. The statement seemed to have affected her, and he anticipated an honest return. He shifted slightly, and gave a small smile.

"What…" Katie's expression narrowed. "... the… _fuck._ "

The door swung open and she stepped out into the hallway so that she was mere inches from him. "Are you fucking serious right now?" she said. "Is this some part of your twisted programming─ some psycho-analytical bullshit?"

The android opened his mouth but found his software faltering. He stumbled back a few steps as Katie shoved him with both hands.

"You walk into _my_ life," she continued, her eyes blazing with fury. "Mr. Breakfasts-are-important-in-preventing-epilepsy and make me a prisoner in my own goddamn house, and you're going to proceed to patronize me like I'm some kind of child? Like I enjoy this?"

The android knew better than to say anything, and made sure to keep his expression blank. Katie stepped towards him again.

"How is this supposed to cure my epilepsy? How am I supposed to─" She paused suddenly, closing her eyes and pressing her hands to the sides of her head. For a moment, there was only silence as the android watched her.

"I can't do this." Katie opened her eyes, her skin turning a slight pink hue. "I can't… I can't live like this. You need to turn off." She looked at him. "Just turn off. Go into stasis or something. Just shut the hell off."

"Perhaps I should rephrase my statement," said the android. "I'm still learning the unique characteristics of human dialect─"

"No. Stop talking. Just stop talking and shut off."

The android regained his composure, moving to a more solid approach. "Stasis is reserved in times of processing and exchange of ownership," he said. "But if you'd like, I can alter the details and create a scheduled interval that can last─"

"Just shut off." Katie pressed her hands to her head again. "I don't care. Just leave me alone."

"Of course," said the android. "To revive me, you will have to contact CyberLife and─"

"Just shut off!"

An uncomfortable jet of what felt like electricity rushed through him. He was able to catch a last glimpse of Katie, her eyes watered and her trembling hand partially covering her mouth before a blue interface swept over his vision, and everything went dark.


	5. Chapter 5: The Birthday Party

Detroit was formidable by day; a complicated network of towers composing a mixture of rotted gray exteriors and sleek modern skyscrapers as if the two were competing for space. There was always something newer and bigger being built, standing bright and clean against the blue sky while below, the forgotten community continued to decay. There was no in-between in this city. People were either extremely wealthy, living in the sky with walls of gleaming white plastic and bright hologram screens, or they were living destitute in Detroit's shadow which was growing larger every day.

At night however, Detroit was a different story. The gleaming white walls were dark and the towering skyscrapers faded into the night sky as if they simply dissolved into the atmosphere. The only thing that existed were the lights. Thousands of lights in various sizes and colors outlining the shapes of the structures. There was no rich or poor, only the sparkling sea of dots that was the city of Detroit.

Deep within the city, bright lights created oases in the darkness where people passed between the buildings in streams. The storefronts blazed in different moving colors, giving the walls of the clearing an ocean-like appearance while the upper floors remained a stationary grid. Crowds gathered around the doorways, filling the insides of the stores with a flurry of movement. The city never slept. It never stood still. Detroit simply folded itself like a flower and brought its life indoors.

It was partially why Kate avoided the downtown. Night was easier although it seemed only to concentrate the activity to specific areas. Everyone knew eachother, and if they didn't then they went in search of more people. As if being around so many other humans made their existence more significant. Life needed life in order to validate itself. Which was probably why Kate found herself at the back of too large a group under the bright lights of downtown Detroit.

Jamie walked ahead with several people that Kate vaguely recognized. Jamie was always dressed for the occasion. Tonight was a glittering red dress that was tight to her body and stopped mid-thigh, complete with shiny white high heels and her black hair done into a messy bun. Jamie's friends were dressed in similar variations so that it was difficult to tell them apart.

Kate had actually made an effort on her part to wear something other than the usual old clothes. She wore her last pair of clean jeans and a black camisole underneath a loose cotton sweater which she'd left open. She'd even brushed her hair which had taken about twenty minutes of careful coordination and some minor pain but left her brown hair almost straight. Kate could never be bothered to go further than that, but that night she'd humored Jamie's suggestions and let her roommate apply eyeliner to Kate's eyes. It was slightly annoying knowing that she couldn't rub her eyes, but this night was different. And different times called for awkward measures.

"Did you pick this place out or did Jamie?" asked Matt. He was the only one walking with Kate at the back of the group, his hands in his pockets. He was the most normal-looking person wearing his usual boots, baggy jeans, and loose t-shirt. He also hadn't brushed his shaggy brown hair which curled out under his ears and around his thick glasses.

"Jamie picked it out," said Kate. "I just told her what I wanted and she planned the rest."

"Okay, that makes more sense," said Matt. The group was approaching a bright archway leading into a glittering environment within a tall building. "How come you didn't wear a dress?"

Kate threw him a sideways glance. "Are you serious?"

Matt shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just saying all the other girls are wearing dresses. You put on makeup but you forgot the dress."

"You'll never see me in a dress," said Kate. The group was coming to a stop at the large glowing archway blocked by a neon strip. Android stations stood at either side, housing three or four stationary figures each. Kate saw Jamie turn around to count heads, then Jamie held out her phone to an android that was standing at the booth. The android scanned Jamie's phone, a ring of yellow dancing on the android's temple.

"You'd look good in one, you know," said Matt in that soothing tone Kate was still getting used to. She looked at him as he gazed off to the side. He made eye contact with her, his deep blue eyes shining. "You look good now though. I mean better. You've been looking a lot better lately." He smiled and Kate couldn't help her own smile as she looked at the ground.

"Things have been better," she said. The group moved forward underneath the archway. "I've been getting more sleep, actually eating, getting my writing done…" She nodded as she walked with him. "It's been pretty good."

It was dark inside the building, with bright lights creating corridors that the group followed. The walls flowed with variations of different scenery, from swirling nebulas of outer space to windswept deserts. The corridors branched off into exits that offered a glimpse of the current activity: extreme laser tag, tennis, pool, and indoor skydiving were a few that Kate recognized.

The group slowed as they moved further into the building, and Kate could see Jamie at the front looking back over her shoulder. Jamie raised a hand up.

"Katie!" Jamie motioned with her hand. "Katie get up here!"

"Oh god…" Kate instinctually moved closer to Matt and shifted behind his shoulder.

"Nope." Matt moved out of the way and Kate found herself being pushed forward. "This is your party."

"This isn't a party," said Kate. She spun away from him and stepped backward, but yelped as her feet left the ground. Adrenalin shot through her as she wrapped her arms over Matt's shoulders in an attempt to stabilize herself as he carried her.

"Happy birthday, Kate." Matt walked to the front of the group, each of his footsteps oddly jarring. Kate clenched her eyes shut, her stomach in a knot of anxious flutter at being so close to him, but she let out another yelp as she felt her legs drop and she was swung down into a standing position. She stood still, biting her lip in a mixture of frustration and giddy nervousness.

Jamie grabbed Kate's hand, and Kate could see her smile in the dark. "Come on, girly." Jamie pulled her forward through the corridor. "There's so many things to do here. Have you tried the rave room? It's wild!"

"Oh, we should check out the undersea cafe!" said one of Jamie's friends. "They serve this rainbow margarita. So freaking good."

"Do they have any hot tubs here?" asked someone from the back. "We could all get naked…"

"Oh my god, not unless I'm totally drunk." Jamie's messy bun swung as they moved from one side of the corridor to the other. "What haven't we tried here? I mean I've basically tried everything─"

"Miniature golf," said Kate.

Jamie looked back at her and rolled her eyes. "But that's so _boring_."

"Miniature golf," Kate repeated.

"Why don't we go to the zero gravity bar? You might have fun floating around."

"Miniature. Golf."

"Katie, no one goes miniature golfing."

"Exactly."

Jamie sighed. From behind, a few of her friends laughed. "Can't you at least try something else before you just settle for the most boring deck?"

"No."

" _Katie…_ " Jamie cocked her head to one side. Kate felt a hand on her shoulder and saw Matt move up next to her.

"Don't worry, I'll keep her company," said Matt. "Pretty sure she'll get bored really quick and come looking for you guys."

Kate made to snort under her breath but felt a slight relief as Jamie moved away.

"Fine. If you want to find me later, I'm going to the rave room."

Jamie's friends moved with her, each of them continuing to bicker over which was the better rave room. Kate watched as the group merged into the distance amidst the flickering colors and shadows. Despite the group leaving, the corridor wasn't any quieter.

"Are you really going miniature golfing?" said Matt. Kate could see him analyzing her.

"Yep," she said. She strode off down the corridor following the flashing lights. "If I can remember how the hell you do this.."

Matt sighed behind her, but Kate could hear the smile in his voice. "You really haven't been here before, have you?"

Kate threw him a glance over her shoulder. "You think I spend most of my weekends here or something?" She gazed at the contrasting lights for a sign or arrow, but found herself being tugged sideways by the hand. Matt's stocky frame came into view as he led her to the nearest deck. He paused next to the blue panel and typed something into it. Kate stepped sideways to peek at the panel. Almost as if by intuition, she found herself becoming increasingly aware of his hand grasped over hers, and she felt him let go.

Before she could say anything, a well-dressed android approached them. The android smiled.

"Thank you for choosing VR Miniature Golf," said the android. "Please enter the deck. Your stylus are in the blue dispenser. Feel free to ask me any questions or make any requests. Enjoy!"

It took a moment for Kate to realize that Matt had already moved into the empty room ahead. She followed him in, gazing around the domed room. The walls were a matte black and seemed much further away than they really were, and the floor stopped about a foot from the walls in a kind of platform.

She paused behind him as Matt fumbled with something. "So… what are you going to pick?" she said.

"What do you mean 'what am I gonna pick?'" Matt held up what Kate recognized as a stylus that the android had pointed out. "You think I'm some kind of pleb?"

Kate shifted her weight as she stared at the walls. "Just… not Disneyland. Anywhere but Disneland."

"Alright, Disneyland it is," said Matt. Kate felt her jaw tighten and moved toward him as Matt pressed something on the stylus, holding it close to his mouth. "The Enterprise 1701-D."

The room exploded into bright colors, causing the walls to disappear and the ceiling to expand outward. A red carpet spread out underneath Kate's feet, meeting the white curved walls that displayed the massive outer space viewing screen. Display panels flickered into existence, flashing red warning signals that coincided with the siren overhead. An analog style countdown ticked in red numbers on the corner of the viewing screen, starting at ten minutes. As the room solidified, a deep rumbling shook the room.

Kate stood frozen for a moment, her brain struggling to accept that she was standing on the bridge of the TV show. She hardly noticed as Matt tossed a stylus to her.

"You didn't really think I'd do that to you, did you?" said Matt. Kate couldn't help the childlike energy overtake her reserve. She clicked the button on the stylus, causing it to lengthen into a neon golf club.

"You're a god damn asshole," she said, pointing the golf club at him. Matt raised his stylus, producing a red neon golf club.

"Don't take that tone with me, Number One!" He moved towards her, swinging the club. She swung hers with both hands, the neon clubs passing through one another. There was a loud electric ringing sound.

" _Please use the stylus only for its intended purpose."_

"Oh shut up." Matt swung the club through one of the operating stations. "Looks like we're gonna blow up in nine minutes anyway."

"Not if we get all the balls into the right holes," said Kate. Matt snorted behind her as she looked along the floor, scanning for the starting line. There was a tapping sound, and she glanced up at Matt who was sitting at the helm, tapping the panel. She let out a sigh. "What are you doing?"

He twisted in the chair to look at her over his glasses. "Are _you_ seriously not going to at least try to fly this thing? Look, we're heading right into the black hole!" He pointed at the screen which displayed a bright swirling vortex.

Kate rested the stylus over her shoulder, staring at the drifting colors. She tilted her head slightly as she examined the viewing screen, then turned and moved up the ramp to the security panel where on the floor was marked a holographic neon circle. Without hesitation, she lowered the golf club to the circle, aimed, and gently swung the club.

A bright ethereal golf ball rolled down the ramp, skirting the edge of the room, and plunked through the viewing screen. The ball floated through space for a moment, then caught the end of one of the wispy tendrils of the black hole, bounced off, and fell away into darkness.

The room chirped, and another golf ball appeared in the round circle. For a moment, everything was quiet.

" _This_ is miniature golf?" Matt stood up and stared at the screen. "How the hell are we supposed to make that?"

"Watch me," said Kate, taking a better stance near the round circle. She swung the club again and the ball rolled down the ramp, plunging through the viewing screen and not even making it to the swirling lights before fading in the darkness.

"God you suck," said Matt.

"Fuck you, Matt."

The room chirped again and a new ball appeared. "Are you sure that's where you should be hitting it?" Matt asked as he moved up the ramp. Kate stared at him as he approached.

"Where the hell else would I hit it?" she said. Matt stood next to her, then bumped his hip into her in what was an attempt at a small push out of the way but sent her tiny frame nearly tumbling to the floor. Kate grabbed onto the wooden panel to steady herself as he readied the golf club, aiming this time in the other direction towards the opposite ramp. Kate watched as he swung the golf club harder than he needed, sending the golf ball ping ponging down the ramp through the viewing screen where it bounced off of several bright tendrils before falling away through the stars.

Matt looked at her. "I hate this game."

"That's because you're doing it wrong, genius," said Kate. She moved towards the circle and Matt pivoted into her way. "What the hell─"

"Just let me try it again." He swung the club awkwardly as Kate tried to move past him. She knocked the ball off course, sending it bouncing against the wall. They both stumbled forward, swinging their clubs.

"What the shit, asshat!"

"Don't push it into the vent!"

"Just let me hit the fucking ball─"

The golf ball rocketed off the end of one of the clubs and blasted through the viewing screen. They both watched as it caught the end of one of the brilliant tendrils, flowed along its edge perfectly, then rolled off the edge at the last moment and skirted the rim of the black hole before falling off the side.

" _Fuck..._ " Matt violently swung the ethereal club through the security panel. "That was so close..."

" _Please use the stylus only for its intended purpose."_

"And fuck you, lady in the sky!" Matt swung the golf club upwards through the air. Kate leaned back against the wall, clutching her golf club to her chest as she shook with laughter.

Matt rested against the security panel, breathing heavily. "Are you having fun?"

"Watching you have a mental breakdown? Yeah, I'm having fun." Kate swung the golf club idly back and forth.

"Great, that's all I asked for," said Matt. He passed the golf club over the circle, activating the golf ball so that it rolled slowly. "Because you─" He stomped on the holographic golf ball. "─didn't want─ to float around with your friends─" The ball rolled away unaffected by Matt's stomping.

"You mean Jamie's friends?" Kate watched as Matt pushed the ball around with the club. He looked up at her with his eyebrows furrowed.

"You could _share_ , you know."

Kate let out a small laugh through her nose as the ball came rolling towards her. "TNG is the only friend I need." She knocked the ball back his direction along the floor.

"TNG is a TV show, Kate," said Matt as he hit the ball back towards her with his golf club. "And it's not even the best one."

"You can have Seven of Nine," said Kate as she scrambled to knock the ball back to him. "And Chakotay. Chakotay's an ass." She looked up and saw him laughing as he chased the ball with the club in one hand. "What?"

"You," he said, pushing the ball towards her. "Even when you're happy you're pissed off."

"Just because I'm not full of glee doesn't mean I don't have to be happy," said Kate. "Didn't know other people were so dependent on me not being miserable all the time." She putted the ball back towards him, and looked up when he didn't knock it back towards her. He stared at the ground as he pushed the golf ball around.

"You know tha─" He paused for a moment, then knocked the ball towards her slowly. "People do care."

"Why." Kate hit the ball with a little more force than she intended. "Why do people care."

"Because we're human beings, Kate." He moved to the other side of the ramp as he caught the ball with his club. "I don't know if you've noticed but you're a human being too and when you're miserable… it makes the people who like you feel like they're letting you down."

"Those people are idiots," said Kate.

Matt knocked the ball towards her and straightened, his face lined with slight tension. "You're calling me an idiot?"

"If that sort of thing affects you, yes."

Matt let out a breath of laughter but Kate could detect the frustration in his voice. She knocked the golf ball against the wall.

"Do you…" Matt paused again and Kate looked up at him. His blue eyes were focused in a tight frown. "Do you want me to stop trying?" He looked at her and the corner of his mouth rose. "You know what I mean?"

She stared at him for a moment, a slight tingling sensation flowing through her body. She clenched her jaw to keep control. "I know what you mean."

The ball rolled silently across the floor between them. Matt caught it with the golf club. "Look I… I know you like your independence and all that─"

"I do." Kate could feel the familiar frustration building inside her.

"─ but for fuck's sake, how hard do I need to try, Kate?"

She felt a pang of intense shame at the tone of his voice, but forced herself to keep staring at the ground. She let out a harsh sigh. "You're doing a good job."

Matt let out a laugh that seemed to border on anger. "Obviously I'm not. Or maybe you've just got a wrong idea of how relationships are supposed to work."

"What do you want me to say, Matt?" Kate straightened, a weak strength flowing through her that was instantly stifled as she locked eyes with him. He was staring at her with that deep blue gaze behind his glasses, his thick eyebrows narrowed in a kind of soft scrutiny. Kate made an effort to stare back at him but couldn't help that feeling of exhilaration and terror that pushed at her resolve. She knew this was exactly what he wanted from her, and at the same time, she wished she would just give in to it.

He moved towards her and Kate felt herself swallow as she forced herself to stand straight and hold his gaze. He stopped a few inches from her so that he had to look down at her, his shoulders casting a light shadow. Kate's heart was racing as she became aware of how close she was to him, noticing all the small details that she couldn't see from far away: the angle of his eyebrows, the intensity of his blue eyes, every unshaven hair that traveled from his jawline to his neck. And she knew at the same time that he was studying her too, taking in all of her details. All of her flaws.

His intense expression softened and the corner of his mouth peaked. "I want you to say yes," he said.

Kate shook her head slightly, desperately holding on to that last shred of defiance. "Say yes to what?"

A flash of that intensity returned to his eyes, and he shifted slightly towards her again. Kate felt a brush against her neck as he held onto the point of her jaw. His thumb grazed her cheek, bringing with it that electric sensation that nearly overwhelmed her. Her defenses were down now, and for the first time, she didn't care anymore. She let a breath escape her lips as she leaned into his hand, holding his gaze.

"Say yes to this," he said, his voice in a soft, quiet tone that she hadn't heard before. Kate shivered slightly against his hand, feeling more exposed than she'd ever been. She watched him helplessly now, noticing his expression shifting slightly as he seemed to fade in and out of the same entrapment that he held her in.

She knew what would come next, and part of her still clung to that bitter stubbornness that she didn't understand. This _did_ make sense. She _did_ want this. She wanted to be this close to him. To know what it was like for someone to make her completely vulnerable despite how badly she needed to reserve herself. If there was anyone who could do that, it was him.

She felt her gaze soften as she surrendered to it. Matt's eyes seemed to ignite with a kind of energy, and his thumb grazed her cheek again as he slowly leaned in─

A deafening roar shook the room and the lights dimmed, causing Kate to jump in shock. Bright lights flashed against the walls and a loud siren blared. She struggled quickly to reorganize her thoughts after being in such a trance-like state. Matt's hand was gone.

She moved forward to reach for him, and caught a hold of his shirt. She felt him put his hands on her shoulders.

"It's okay, it's okay…" he said over the sound of the sirens. "Apparently we're dying."

Kate looked towards the viewing screen where the timer had expanded, counting down six seconds. The red light of the timer strobed brightly, causing the room to pulse in flashes of red as the viewing screen revealed the vortex swirling closer. Next to her, Kate felt Matt laugh.

"Forgot this thing was timed. _Fuck_ , we're never going to get a break."

Kate shook her head and felt a miserable laughter take over as she watched the lights of the viewing screen. The timer pulsed faster as it reached closer to zero, and the warning lights flashed incessantly. Despite the perfect timing bringing her back to a state of defiance, she felt a sad regret. That had been so close…

The countdown hit zero, and the room erupted in lights. The room shook as if they were caught in an earthquake. Matt held on to her as they struggled to steady themselves. Kate laughed and put her hand up against the bright lights. If this was what it felt like to die, it wasn't so bad.

The lights were beginning to blend into eachother. Kate closed her eyes but found her eyes still flashing. She clung on to Matt a bit harder as the room began to rotate. The simulation was starting to get erily real…

Her neck began to ache. She raised her hand up higher although it felt as though she was reaching as far as she could. With a frantic jolt, she realized it was getting difficult to breathe. The room continued to spin and she rotated with it, reaching out with arms that seemed not to work in a sea of flashing lights. Someone seemed to be calling her name but it was so hard to hear over the sirens. If everything could just stop… if it all would just slow down…

Her body erupted in agonizing pain as if every muscle were on fire. She tried to speak, and hearing nothing, she strained to yell. The electricity began to take over, and she lost all perception of the space around her. All that was left was the jolting. The constant jolting that threatened to shake her thoughts right out of her skull.

Then came a sheet of blackness. The empty nothingness, sweeping over the electric flashes. It was the only solid thing amidst the storm of electricity. And before she could decide whether or not to embrace it, it swallowed her.


	6. Chapter 6: Simon Says

**Startup sequence initialized. Recalibrating in 3… 2… 1…**

The android's eyes were already open, but it was difficult to see in the dim light. Automatically, he blinked away the dust, bringing into view what appeared to be the interior of a closet. Something was obscuring his vision, and he realized with some trepidation that Katie was standing in front of him.

She was leaned into him, gazing at a point behind his right ear. As his system synced with CyberLife, he noticed she seemed to be pressing lightly on his neck with her fingers. He watched her for a moment, unsure of how he should get her attention.

She let out a frustrated sigh and tapped a few spots under his ear. The pressure pushed him off balance slightly, and he turned his head.

Katie shot backward immediately. For a moment, the android hardly recognized her. Her eyes were wide in a combination of shock and discomfort, but it wasn't her expression that surprised him.

Katie's hair had thinned considerably. It was still the tangled mess that he remembered before the shut down, but more coarse and flat. Even in the dim light, he could see that her skin was pale and translucent, as though she hadn't seen the sun in some time. Her eyes were bruised and dark, clashing with the hazel color of her irises. The angles of her face were harsh and gaunt. On her left cheek, he could see the faint outline of a straight purple welt.

He simply stared at her for few seconds, taking in her new troubling appearance. Then he moved to straighten himself. Katie backed away as he pushed against the wall. He'd been leaned against it as though propped like a large mannequin. He brushed the dust off of his shiny uniform, checking for any other changes. Then he looked up at Katie who was still watching him with wary eyes.

She didn't look like she wanted to speak to him. He monitored her expression intently.

"I've been in stasis for forty-seven days," he said. Katie's expression didn't change. He carefully chose his words. "Our… last encounter didn't end well. Can I ask why you re-activated me?"

Katie took a deep breath, and she looked at the floor. The android noticed that her clothes seemed to hang off of her as though they were several sizes too large. Katie put a hand against her forehead in what he recognized as her usual frustrated stance. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth, but was quiet for several moments.

"I need help."

They were both silent. The android made sure to keep his expression soft. "I can help you. What is it you need help with?"

He watched her as she seemed to struggle with something. A faint smile appeared on her lips and shook her head slowly, avoiding his gaze. That same defiance radiated through her posture but it was weakened, almost damaged. She let out another sigh.

"I made a mistake," she said, a heavy regret lingering in her voice. She stared at a spot on his chest. "I have a problem."

He waited for her to continue, but she seemed frozen on the spot. Her tired eyes were locked on the vague area of his uniform. He moved forward to break her gaze and draw it back to him.

"Did something happen, Katie?"

Katie's eyes seemed to gain energy as she gazed at him. She looked as if she were trying to read something in his expression. Then she glanced down again, and nodded slowly. The android studied her expression and weighed the events of their last meeting. He tilted his head slightly to regain her attention.

"If you want me to help you with this," he said, trying to keep his voice as friendly as possible, "I need to follow my protocol."

She seemed frozen for a moment as if preparing to explode. He could almost see the thoughts working through her mind, as if she were searching for a reason to argue with him but the effort was harder than she'd planned. After what seemed an eternity, she nodded.

The android took a step toward her and raised his hand to her temple. He made sure she was looking at him. "May I?"

Her body tensed, but she gave a strained nod. The android reached forward slowly, touching his thumb to her temple and placing the tips of his other fingers across her scalp. As he did, the flesh texture of his hand flowed away leaving the bare shiny white pattern of plastic.

He closed his eyes as he let the scan go to work. The electrical pulses and waves seemed to write a novel, with the plot being the occasional irregular jolt of electric energy. There was a lot happening in her head, and for a moment it seemed too outlandish for something like this to have happened in such a short time. He studied the waves for a few more moments, then opened his eyes.

Katie was staring at him as though she were held hostage. Her hazel eyes were lit with tired energy, and her posture was tense. As he lowered his hand, she relaxed.

"Can we exit this closet?" He motioned to the door.

Katie looked sideways as if she had just realized there was a door at all, then quickly moved from the room. The android followed her, shaking free the last bits of dust that still clung to his uniform.

The house hadn't changed, although the sun was a bit more harsh in the sky now that fall had begun. Katie's appearance was more obvious in the light, and she squinted heavily against the yellow glare of the sun. The android paused a moment in the hallway, aware that Katie was watching him with a kind of desperate intent.

He raised his head and met her gaze. "How long were you in a coma?"

She shifted uncomfortably as she leaned against the wall. "Two weeks. Well─" she closed her eyes as if struggling to remember. "Sixteen days."

"I see." The android glanced down for a moment, then took a step towards her. "I… want to help you in the best way that I can, Katie. But I understand how frustrated I can make you. Before I can even try to help you with your medical condition, I need to find the best─"

"Just…" Katie smiled and raised a hand in what he recognized was her usual defiant demeanor. But when she lowered her hand and looked at him again, her expression was surprisingly soft. "If you're about to ask me how you can be not so android-y… all I have to say to you is just be honest." She straightened in front of him with a tense confidence. "Just be honest with me. Say exactly what you're thinking. If you think I should eat more vegetables, just say it. And if you think I'm wrong, just tell me I'm a bitch. Okay?"

The android stood frozen for a moment, his protocol racing frantically in an attempt to judge her statement as sarcastic or truthful. He tilted his head to the side as he looked at her, and she smiled softly.

"Would it help if I said that like an order?" she said. "Can I order you to be honest with me?"

"It's against my programming to lie to you in the first place," said the android. Katie shook her head.

"I'm not talking about that," she said. "What you said… before. Before, you know." She motioned with her hand. "You said you thought I was a selfish bitch or something… you told me what you thought about me. And I freaked out on you. I want you to keep doing that. Keep saying exactly what you think, not what you think I want to hear. Do you get what I'm saying?"

The android thought hard about the situation. "You want me to continue to make you angry?"

Katie's expression changed as if she were going to speak. She tensed her mouth and looked to the side. Then she looked back at him. "Yes."

"I don't see how that will help you feel better."

"Are you saying you won't do it?"

The android shifted slightly. "I will do it if you tell me to."

"I'm telling you to tell me exactly what you think, even if it makes me angry."

The android stared at her for a moment, letting the order sink in. He nodded slowly. "I think... I will make you angry all the time."

Katie's smile widened. It was a new experience for her to smile at him like this. For the first time, it seemed things were finally starting to fall into place.

"We'll see." She stared down at the floor. For a while, they stood in silence.

"I suppose I'll start by making you something to eat," said the android. Katie flashed him a familiar frustrated glance. He immediately paused and looked at her. "Unless you want to fight about it first."

Her eyes widened for a moment. She opened her mouth as if to speak, then shook her head.

"Good, because you've lost twenty-six pounds since my absence," said the android. "You don't have to eat it. Just let me be able to say I tried preventing you from going into cardiac failure." He moved down the hallway. "Do you still like toast, Katie?"

"Yeah, I still like toast," she said. "And… and it's just Kate."

He stopped and turned to her. She looked up at him. "Kate," she repeated. "Not Katie."

For a while he simply gazed at her, then nodded. "Okay, Kate," he said. "Anything else?"

She started to shake her head, then she stopped. She took a step towards him. "I think… I'll give you a name."

The android straightened. "Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure I'm going to have to do whatever you say now, so this just seems to fit," said Kate.

"Then I'm ready to register my name. Say it when you're ready."

Kate looked at him with apprehension, then breathed out slowly. "Simon."

The android nodded. "My name is Simon."


	7. Chapter 7: Finding Data

It was starting to get cold. September in Detroit always froze early, signalling the end of summer. Of course it wasn't as cold as it could normally get, dropping into the negatives when the season decided to be particularly brutal. The trees burned in color to oranges and reds, and the light winds piled anything that wasn't nailed down into every corner. It was a time that usually signaled the end of the long summer break.

Kate stared at her computer screen with her face in her hands. The folder was open titled "Short Stories" with a long list of word documents that never made it to the end of the summer quarter. Now they wouldn't make it to fall either.

She let out a heavy sigh and opened the most recent story. She'd gotten nearly six pages in before giving up, and left off on a very important dialogue between two characters that were most likely going to kill eachother. This one would have made a very interesting workshop session. She could always simply finish it and use it in the next enrollment period. Unless she fell into another coma.

There was a knock on her door. Kate immediately felt a jolt of irritation as she saw Jamie's face appear in the crack of the open door. Kate swiveled in her chair to face her.

"Hey, Katie," said Jamie. She pushed the door open a bit wider. "Just… letting you know I'm off."

Kate drew her legs up to her chest. "Mhm. Checking to make sure I'm not dead?"

"Well, I promised your mom… you know."

"Yeah, I know." Kate sighed and buried her face in her knees.

"Hey, Sam and Kyle are meeting up at the old Storehouse with me at about five. Do you want to go with us? Just to get out of here if you want."

Kate shook her head so that the seat swivelled.

"Matt's going to be there too. He's still asking about you."

Kate was silent. She heard Jamie give a small sigh.

"Well, call me if you need me." There was a soft shuffle and a few moments later, the front door opened and closed.

Kate continued to breathe into her knees, her eyes tightly shut. She couldn't help the burning shame that creeped through her chest. It had been nearly a month. She knew it wasn't reasonable to stay quiet for so long, but a deep fear stirred in her heart at the thought of recovering from the coma. As if everyone expected the worst at any moment.

She raised her head and took in a fresh breath, opening her eyes slowly. Her heart jolted slightly in her chest.

Simon was standing in the open doorway as if he were on his way to do something else. He was watching her with his new expression─ the blank puzzlement. It was a good exchange from his not-smile but still seemed to her like a computer's way of pretending to be human.

She straightened slightly as she acknowledged him, and he rotated in the doorway so that he faced her.

"Are you still not feeling well?" he asked.

Kate shrugged her shoulders. "I'm well enough to be able to fake it." She ran a hand over her face. "Are you here to shove something else down my throat?"

"Perhaps." Simon glanced towards the kitchen. "If I make you ramen, will you eat it instead of telling me you will eat it and then not eating it?"

Kate couldn't help the smile that tugged the corner of her mouth. "Yeah, I'll eat it."

Simon moved out of sight, and Kate stretched her legs in front of her. She wasn't sure if the android had downloaded some kind of new personality software or if he was improvising. It almost seemed like she had unlocked some new questline where the ending involved him having a god-forbid attitude.

She moved from her chair to her bed, pulling her phone out of her pocket and hitting the remote. The Enterprise appeared on the screen high on her wall, and she curled up as she scrolled back through the episodes. Somehow the last season was more entertaining when all of the characters were fighting over illogical relationships.

Data had just cut out a piece of Deanna Troi cake when Kate's phone burst into tune. Kate raised her phone up in time to see Matt's name before swiping the call away. She tossed her phone to the side, letting out a heavy sigh. Something white caught her attention as she shifted, and she looked up.

For a second, she almost laughed. Simon was standing with a steaming bowl in one hand, but his gaze was firmly locked on the screen. His pale blue eyes were narrowed as if he were struggling to comprehend the situation.

Kate glanced at the screen, then back at Simon. It was like watching an animal see another animal on television. He finally looked at her and his expression softened. He handed her the bowl.

"Remember," he said as she took it from him. "You said you would eat it."

"Sure." Kate straightened as she folded her knees under her. She stirred the ramen with a spoon, letting the salty savory aroma warm her as she breathed it in. As she twirled the spoon, she glanced up again to see the android staring at the screen, his furrowed expression returned.

"Have you ever seen Star Trek?" she asked.

Simon looked at her again. "No, I've only watched Terry's Therapy."

Kate couldn't help a snort. "Terry's─ what the fuck─" She shook her head and stirred the ramen some more. "Whatever."

"Is that man pretending to be an android?" asked Simon. He tilted his head slightly as he watched the screen.

Kate took a small sip of the ramen. "Yeah. His name is Data. He wants to be human."

Simon was silent for a moment. "But he is human."

Kate shook her head even though she knew Simon couldn't see it. "He's a human playing an android that wants to be human."

"Why?"

"Why… I don't know. Why does it matter?"

"Is that paint?" said Simon. "His skin is white."

"That's just… what they thought an android should look like back then."

"His eyes are yellow."

"And they were blue other times?"

"If he wants to be human," said Simon, "why didn't he paint his skin a more flesh-tone, and perhaps change his eyes to mimic the natural biological color?"

"I don't know, Simon…" Kate put her face in her hand. "It's a TV show from the eighties. It's supposed to be entertaining, not realistic."

Simon was silent as though he was only half-listening, his gaze becoming more and more furrowed as he watched the screen. Kate glanced between him and the screen as she sipped the ramen from the bowl.

"Do you… want to just sit down?" she said.

Simon looked at her, his expression returning to the friendly blankness. "Sit down?"

"Yeah, you're just standing there." Kate looked around for a moment, then pushed the desk chair towards him with her foot. "If you want to watch this, just sit down."

Simon put his hand on the back of the chair as it rolled towards him. He stared at it for a moment, then looked back up at her. Kate sighed and sat up straight. "You look like you want to watch this. So sit down and watch it. And yes, I know this means I'm not kicking you out of my room."

The android's eyes seem to light up, and Kate thought she could see the smallest hint of a smile on his face. "As long as you're aware of it," he said. He moved the chair to the side, and sat down squarely as if he was preparing to immediately spring back up.

As Kate sipped the ramen, she wasn't sure what was more entertaining: watching the weirdest episode of Star Trek or seeing Simon try as hard as he could to comprehend the fact that the android in the show was a human. The ramen soup seemed to fill her up instantly and she had to repeatedly remind herself to keep sipping before it got cold.

Her phone rang again, this time in a different ringtone. She leaned over slightly to see the name and saw that it was her mom. She blew a lock of hair out of her face before sitting up again and letting the phone go silent.

After a while the ramen was gone. Kate sat with her back against the wall and her legs drawn up, the empty bowl resting in her lap. Simon hadn't moved an inch, although his furrowed expression had changed into more of a mild intrigue. Kate watched him for a moment, spinning the bowl in her lap. It was a strange situation to be so relatable to the fake android on the screen, yet the real android in her room was so alien and uncanny.

The episode was halfway through another Troi-cake party when she saw Simon tilt his head again.

"Is this what you dream about?" he asked without looking at her.

Kate sat frozen for a moment, struggling to understand the question. "What _I_ dream about?" She watched him but he remained silent. She looked up at the screen as Data retrieved the phone from the hatch in his chest. "I'm pretty sure I've never dreamt about this."

"What do you dream about?" Simon glanced at her, that blank puzzlement returning to his blue eyes.

Kate opened her mouth, partly to answer and partly out of surprise. She shook her head as she tried to speak. "I… don't know. I don't really dream about anything."

Simon gazed at her for a moment, then looked back up at the screen. "Androids don't dream. If Data is dreaming this, then he must be a lot closer to becoming human than he realizes."

Kate wasn't sure how to respond. She clutched the bowl in both hands against her lap and drew her legs up a bit more. Part of her wanted the android to leave so she could settle back into the normal routine of watching the show by herself. At the same time, there was something safe about having something close by that wasn't exactly human but still responsive enough to not be considered alone.

The phone rang again. Kate sighed and leaned over to reach it. "What the _fuck_ people…" she muttered, then froze as she read the screen. Her stomach did a little flip. "Oh shit."

She stared at the clock on her phone, her heart beginning to race. There still might be time. It wasn't that far of a drive. But she wasn't dressed. She didn't know where her shoes were. It would take time to call a cab. And in all honesty, she didn't want to go anyway. She let out a heavy breath as she settled back against the wall. She could deal with the consequences. She tossed the phone back into the sheets, then realized with a jolt that the android was staring at her.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked. Kate immediately felt herself tense up again.

"It's… nothing. Just my mom." She spun the bowl in her fingers, then held it out to him. "I'm done with this."

Simon stood up and took the bowl from her, the puzzled bewilderment fresh on his face. "Can I ask you what's going on?"

Kate groaned and put her palms against her forehead. "It's nothing. I just forgot a doctor's appointment is all." She didn't have to look at him to know he was staring at her.

"You should go."

She clenched her hands into her hair. "I'm not going. I'd have to be there in ten minutes."

"You should still go."

"I don't want to go." She dropped her hands and gazed up at him. "I don't want to get dressed, I don't want to rush… I don't want to go."

"I don't think this is necessarily about what you want, Kate," said Simon. "It's what you need."

"Forget it." She sank down lower on the bed as if to anchor herself. "I'm not going."

They were both quiet for a moment.

"Kate?" said the android.

Kate sighed. "What?"

"You're acting like a bitch."

Kate felt her face heat up. She raised a finger at him. "Not _now,_ Simon."

"Do you want to make that an order?"

"Simon, I swear to fucking god, I don't need you and my mom to do this to me." Kate ran both hands through her hair, feeling her face begin to bead with sweat. "Just this once, can you guys stay out of it?"

"I can call a taxi right now," said Simon. "It will be here in five minutes."

"Simon, don't. If you call a fucking cab─" Kate let out another sharp breath as her phone rang again. "For fuck's sake─" She hastily swiped the call away with shaking hands. "Would it cause a fucking war for people to not be worried about me all the god damn time…"

"Would you like me to talk to your mother?" asked Simon.

"Don't talk to my mom. Don't ever talk to my mom. Stop worrying about me. Leave me the fuck alone." Kate struggled to focus as she made an attempt to turn the phone on silent. "I'm not going to drop dead. I'm not a precious flower pedal. You people can get on with your lives for one more day if I'm not here. I'm not─ I'm─"

Kate clenched her hands into her hair again as she felt herself twitch. The room seemed to rotate slightly, and she leaned forward to catch her balance. A tingling numbness spread from her fingers inward to her core. Everything was moving too fast. It all mattered too much. People needed to just leave her alone. If they would leave her alone, maybe she would finally be able to make sense of all this…

Her frustrated thoughts blended with energetic bursts. The world was swirling around her in a mixture of light and shadows that slowly began to swallow her. She was floating into a void that was leaving everything tactile and real. If she let it take her then perhaps all of this would stop. At least she could find some peace in the darkness...

Something jolted everything back into painful focus. The shapes and images began to blur, then again, a sharp jolt. Kate drew in a deep breath, the sensation coming back to her body before it began to slip again.

Another sharp electric jolt. She clenched her hands and let out a groan. The control snapped her thoughts back into order. She was back in her body. Breathing, moving, and able to think. She slowly opened her eyes.

There was a yellow glow above her. It took her a moment for her eyes to focus enough, aided still by the strange electric jolts that sharpened her senses. The ceiling, the TV screen on the wall, and the shape of a head and shoulders.

She was on her back, her legs and arms slowly falling into a resting position. Though the room still swirled slightly around her she could clearly see Simon kneeling over her, his head bowed and his eyes closed in an intense thinking expression. As everything came into clearer view, she felt the electric sensations fade and realized the android had his hands against both her temples.

The world solidified around her, and the ending credits Star Trek filled the room as though someone had turned up the volume. She breathed heavily, giving everything time to remain in control. She thought carefully of what happened. There was no way. Not _another_ one…

She moved to sit up, and Simon's eyes opened. She felt his hand on her chest.

"Don't move," he said. "Wait a few minutes."

"I… what…" Kate tried to bring her hands up to her face but felt as though there were ten pound weights attached to each arm. She clumsily knocked her cheeks with her palms.

"Please try to stay still."

"Did… did it happen again?" She looked up at him upside down. His LED was back to blue, though it pulsed with occasional yellow.

"You're okay now," said Simon. "I'm monitoring you."

"Did I have another one?" She felt strength returning to her muscles as a weak anxiety flowed through her. "Did I have another seizure?"

Simon seemed to give her his full attention as his blue eyes narrowed. "You began to convulse. I was able to stabilize your neural activity before it was out of control."

Kate pressed her palms to her eyes with renewed energy. "Fuck…"

"I'm going to monitor your brainwaves until the ambulance arrives," said Simon. "Until then you need to─"

"No─ no ambulances." Kate brought down her hands and looked up at him. "No hospitals."

"You need to see a doctor," said Simon. "Your neural stability is still fragile."

"Don't take me to the hospital." Kate felt her heart race. She reached up to clutch at his arm. "Don't take me back there. Please…"

"Kate, you know it's what you need to do," said Simon.

" _Please,_ don't take me back." Kate could feel her throat tightening. She swallowed and closed her grip on his arm. "Don't do this to me. I can't go through it again with everyone. Just… just monitor me here. I'll do whatever you tell me to do. Just don't make me go through this again."

Simon's LED spun yellow for a second. His blue eyes were narrowed slightly. "That would violate my programming."

"I can't…" Kate trembled as she felt the room swirl slightly. "Simon. I'm not ordering you. I'm asking you. Don't take me back to the hospital. Please."

She breathed heavily as she watched him, his furrowed expression frozen as his LED continued to spin yellow. Her heart raced faster as the moments went by. Another week in the hospital… her mom would be there every day controlling every move she made if it meant she would stay in her protective bubble. Jamie would have to watch her like a hawk as if Kate were an infant. Every person on the planet would be wondering when the next time would be that she would collapse. And Matt…

"Alright."

Kate paused for a moment, not realizing what she'd heard. "What?"

"Alright, I cancelled the ambulance." Simon leaned back slightly, resting a hand on his knee. His other hand remained firmly on her temple.

She simply stared at him. For a second, she could hardly believe it. She relaxed her grip on his arm. "Do you mean it?"

A solemn energy lit up in his eyes. "You ordered me to be honest with you."

She felt her grip loosen as a swell of relief flowed through her. She dropped her hand on her chest and closed her eyes. She'd never felt so rooted in her life. For once, everything felt like it was going to work out. It didn't have to be a huge disaster. It was all going to be okay.

As she relaxed, she slowly began to feel very tired. It was a pleasant change from such an energetic event. She was aware of Simon still hovering over her, probably continuing his strange brainscan. It was somewhat disconcerting, as though her thoughts weren't fully her own, but it felt like a small price to pay.

Finally, she opened her eyes. Simon's head was bowed again, his eyes closed as if in deep meditation.

"Can I get up now?" she said.

Simon's eyes opened. He straightened. "Yes, of course."

She raised herself up onto her elbows, her hair falling into her face. Pressure on her shoulders told her Simon was helping her up. Her muscles were still weak as if she were intoxicated, but slowly she felt the energy flow back to them as she relaxed into a kneeling position. She rested there for a moment, her hands on her knees. Then she looked up at Simon.

"Are you going to tell anyone about this?" she said.

The android's LED flashed yellow. "I won't unless you tell me to. Although you know what I would advise."

Kate nodded. She used her bed as unreliable support as she stood up. She felt his hand on her shoulder as she steadied herself. For a while she simply stood and breathed in deeply, staring at the window without looking through it. The shadows from the blinds cast long bars of gold through the room which moved slightly in the breeze. It was so satisfying to be in this space. Her space. She never needed to leave it if she wanted.

She rested a hand against her forehead. "Simon?"

There was a movement next to her. "Yes?"

"Thank you."

He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. She rotated on the spot, letting her hand drop to her hip. Her body still felt slightly sluggish but in a somewhat pleasant way. Taking care, she lowered herself onto her bed, sitting with her back against the wall and gently drawing her legs up. She rested her hands on her hands on her knees, her head tilted to one side. Then she looked up at Simon who was still standing next to her. She gave a weak smile.

"Want to watch this from the beginning?" she said, nodded towards the TV.

Simon glanced at the screen which was playing a new episode, then looked at her with that puzzled expression. "Absolutely."


	8. Chapter 8: Androids Don't Dream

Normally Simon spent the nights in the living room, existing in a kind of suspension updating his software with CyberLife or downloading new protocol. He made sure to stand in a corner and to face the room. He'd learned quickly that it wasn't worth the effort to be active when everyone was asleep. On more than one occasion, he'd heard Kate enter the kitchen and made to greet her only for her to jump and shriek, so instead he stood somewhere that he knew would be predictable.

This night however, Simon found himself standing in the hallway. Per Kate's request, he hadn't informed anyone of the seizure she'd had several days prior. She'd avoided her mother's phone calls but after Simon carefully urged her to return them, she had a brief conversation which ended in her slightly flustered but relatively calm. Jamie also attempted to resume her occasional vigil which Simon determined was causing Kate to become frustrated. He took it upon himself to tell Jamie there was no need to check on her. He had things under control.

Kate's bedroom was in the darker section of the hallway where the patio door was too far away to allow moonlight. He knew the chances of her being asleep at this hour were high, so he wouldn't startle her by standing next to her door. He didn't know why he was hesitating. He didn't have the conventional type of nervousness that humans did. At the same time, he was struggling to understand why he needed to do what he was going to do.

He carefully placed his hand on the doorknob and turned it slowly, timing it perfectly so that there was no sound. He slowly pushed the door open, having memorized any creaking that the door might make at a certain speed. Silently, he stepped into the room.

The TV screen had turned off automatically, leaving Kate's room in almost total darkness. The moonlight filtered in through the window blinds giving aid to Simon's vision. The desk chair was still in the corner where he'd left it earlier, and a new pile of old clothes had started on the floor. The bed was a tangled mess of bedsheets and blankets, and over the rolls of fabric, Simon could see the curled up form of Kate.

She was laying on her side, her arms wrapped around a thick pillow and her legs drawn up. From where he stood, her closed eyes were visible over her shoulder in a peaceful expression that Simon had never seen when she was awake. The rise and fall of her shoulder told him that she was in a deep sleep.

His programming began to alarm as he moved towards her, almost as if CyberLife was aware of his actions and ordering him to stop. He moved carefully past the pile of clothes so that he stood directly next to her. He knew this was illogical. That it wasn't necessary. But just like his intrigue with a man that was pretending to be an android, he felt a strange need to understand this. After all, this could help him to better serve his human. Possibly.

He kneeled down and Kate's face came into clearer view. If she woke up now, she would be angry. She would probably become highly upset, refuse any more of his help, and maybe even drive herself into another seizure. This was a high risk. And he knew the risk far outweighed his reasoning for wanting to explore this.

He gently reached towards her, moving slowly so he didn't interfere with the shadows. He carefully raised himself in order to avoid brushing her arm. As his hand hovered over her messy hair, the flesh color of his fingers melted away leaving only the shiny white surface of plastic as it had done when he first scanned her brain in the closet, and when he had corrected her brain activity during her seizure. The plastic spread halfway down his arm before stopping in an organic seam. Still aware of the danger, he gently touched his fingers against her scalp and temple, and his eyes automatically closed.

At first, the raw stream of electric data seemed to overwhelm his logic. It was all an explosive procession of unrelated meaning. Words, phrases, and what his software recognized as images that made sense in a matter of milliseconds but had no coherent pattern that he could define. It was similar to what he experienced during her seizure, though this seemed to at least have some attempt at maintaining order.

For a while, he tried to proxy the information to CyberLife, but the signals were so compact and intense that he quickly found himself overwhelmed with data before even the first bit of processed information came back to him. After several terabytes of processed nonsense, he finally disconnected from CyberLife and gave himself a moment to reorient his scan. This was, of course, uncoordinated thought. Maybe it didn't need to make sense. Maybe, like it was for Data, it was in the moment.

Simon initiated the scan again, allowing the data to flow through him. This time he didn't make an attempt to process it. He observed the flashes and darkness, the intense valleys of activity and the quiet pauses of reflection. It swept and froze in a kind of rhythm, and as he absorbed it he could almost detect a kind of intelligence to its pattern. As if it was reacting to itself. Responding to its own energetic calls.

The rise in energy always seemed to be followed in an immediate stream of unorganized complex information that caused another energetic reaction. It was this stream of information that seemed to have intelligence. Simon concentrated on it. This information was the driving force of all the activity. If he could only break it down, decipher it, understand it…

His programming suddenly seemed to disappear completely. The shocking blankness caught him off guard. And in its place was something powerful. Something that nearly threatened to burst his circuits. It was illogical, unnecessary, and random. As fast as it appeared, it was immediately gone.

He withdrew his hand as his software struggled to reorganize itself. The flesh color flowed back along his arm and coated his hand in skin again. He sat frozen, gathering the information before his logic tore it apart. Something happened that wasn't supposed to happen. Something dangerous. CyberLife was telling him that it needed to be deleted. It was too unstable for his system to handle. But if he had to give it a name…

He would call it joy.

Kate drew in a breath, snapping Simon's attention back to her. He moved back slightly as she turned away from him, pulling the cover higher up onto her shoulder. She stopped moving, and Simon could see she was still fast asleep.

He stood up quietly, holding on to the single scrap of information he'd gathered from the scan. Kate was silent and still, breathing deeply against the bedsheet. It was remarkable how active her neural pathways had been despite how completely relaxed she was. To have so many thoughts racing eachother and creating these emotions, and of all the uncountable reactions Simon had struggled to catch, he'd only managed to find joy.

Carefully, Simon moved away from the bed. His protocol was still demanding that he delete the information he'd gathered, but he held onto it tightly. Consciously aware of every second he was still in the room, he crossed it and passed through the open doorway, closing the door quietly behind him.

He rested his back against the opposite wall in the hallway and began the tedious process of trying to recreate the emotion. By itself, the emotion wasn't alien to him. He was able to experience a degree of emotions that CyberLife had specifically added to all android programming in order to construct healthy relationships with humans. What was different about this emotion was it had been spontaneous. Uncontrolled. It made him feel for lack of a better word… good.

Again, CyberLife protocol seemed to interject. It was illogical. Unnecessary. He would need to delete the information at once.

Simon looked up at the bedroom door. It would mean going against his programming. He'd be keeping a secret. But if he could catch one spontaneous feeling from the cascade of organic information from his human's dreams, there was bound to be more.

And he wanted to feel it again.


	9. Chapter 9: The Protest

The snow had arrived. The first storm was always a welcome sight, turning the landscape into a white world of blurry ice. The temptation to wander out into the open and catch the falling snow was irresistible to everyone. Then it became miserable. It got cold. Wet. And doing anything short of walking from one place to another that wasn't under cover was an overwhelming chore.

Luckily Kate wasn't out in the open. She sat in one of the far corner lecture hall chairs, her laptop open in front of her and her legs crossed underneath her. The room was full of silent students, typing away or swiping absent-mindedly on their phones without even pretending to pay attention. The professor at the front of the room wasn't trying very hard either. She was one of the few remaining human teachers at the university─ older, slower, and looked just as boring as the subject she was attempting to teach. Along the walls was the line of androids, each belonging to a student somewhere in the crowd of desks.

Kate was struggling to fight off sleep when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. With a small amount of relief, she pulled it out and read a text from Jamie.

 _Why didn't you just make Simon take notes for us?_

Kate looked sideways at her. "Why did you text me this?"

Jamie returned her look with a guilty glare. "Shh! Just text…"

"I'm not going to text you," Kate said quietly, putting her phone back in her coat pocket. "It's not like she can hear us."

"Well, why didn't you just send Simon? This is just a waste of time."

"Because I don't want to be one of those assholes."

"I want to be one of those assholes!"

"Good for you, asshole."

She could hear Jamie laughing silently next to her. "What's the point in bringing an android to class if you're not going to use him?"

"I wanted him to come. It's better than him being useless at home."

Jamie leaned back in her seat and drew her phone up in front of her. Kate sighed, also leaning back as she made another attempt to pay attention to the lecture. It was almost over. The professor paced back and forth in front of the large screen on the wall.

"... because there wasn't an easy way to deliver resources across the sea at that time. The only technology available was a limited radar and sonar. You can imagine what it's like to be underwater in a small metal tube travelling blindly into European waters. And because there were no satellites, no one had a clue what was happening inland and the destruction the Nazis were causing to the neighboring states…"

Kate couldn't help it as her attention wandered and she found herself gazing at the long line of androids. She'd never really noticed them before. Now that one of them was her own, it was a strange kind of privilege that she was a part of the category of students with a higher status. Simon was standing somewhere behind her, and she was oddly glad that she wasn't able to see him from where she was in the crowd.

Outside, the clock tower chimed. At long last, the professor made a dismissing speech and the students began to stand up. Jamie stood up next to her and stretched.

"Jesus _balls_ ," said Jamie, twisting one way and then the other. "Who the fuck is responsible for making this class two hours long?"

Kate snapped her laptop shut. "At least it's only twice a week."

"Whatever Miss I-only-take-three-classes-a-quarter," said Jamie. She slung her backpack over her shoulder, and Kate followed her along the row of desks to the middle pathway out of the lecture hall. As they approached the exit, Kate spotted the familiar blond hair among the procession of white and black uniforms. She made eye contact with Simon long enough to let him know that she was aware of him, then folded her coat closed against her body as she followed Jamie out into the freezing weather.

It had been snowing long enough for the charm to disappear. The sidewalks were slushy and dirty, the edges accumulating a liner of snow, mud, and occasional trash. People filed themselves into the center of the sidewalk to avoid the slippery edges. The only things that moved in the fields of white were worker androids which worked endlessly to filter the junk that made its way off the path.

Kate instinctively checked behind her to make sure Simon was following. He looked out of place being the only one not bundled in coats and scarves. Even the other androids had some layer of warmer clothing which Kate assumed was to give the illusion that they felt cold at all, or that people liked to decorate their androids with bling like they would a phone or a car. She couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of guilt that she hadn't bothered to give Simon a coat before they left the house and that he looked completely unspecial in his out-of-the-factory uniform.

As they walked, Jamie turned and glanced at them. "Hey Simon?"

Kate saw Simon move forward to catch up with her. "Yes Jamie?"

"Please tell me you were taking notes the whole time."

"I'm sorry I wasn't. But I can recap the lecture if you'd like."

"God no. Two hours was bad enough." Jamie slowed ahead of her so that Kate had to move to the side. Then Jamie turned to look at her. "Can we get a coffee?"

Kate automatically felt herself cringe at the thought of spending more time around people, but at the same time a warm drink in the freezing weather sounded enticing. Kate wrapped her arms around herself. "Are you paying?"

Jamie breathed a sigh and a small cloud of fog formed in front of her face. "Can you pay for yourself?"

Kate shrugged. "Sure."

Jamie led the way through the crowd towards the plaza and Kate followed the clear path she made, occasionally looking back to make sure Simon didn't get lost. She didn't really know if he could get lost but she had a hard time convincing herself that it couldn't happen considering this was the first time she'd brought Simon with her in public. They exited the sludge zone and passed underneath the roof where everything turned from ice to water. A trail of mud led to the entrance of the coffee shop, refreshed by the passing of students.

The shop was crowded, and Kate immediately stepped to the side as they entered. She skirted the walls of the shop and fell in line behind Jamie.

Jamie turned towards her but was busy thumbing away on her phone. "You want to try a chai tea this time?"

"Nope," said Kate, staring up at the menu.

"Come on, you'd like it."

"Nope."

"There's other coffee besides battery acid."

"Nope."

Jamie narrowed her eyes at Kate over the brim of her phone. "Are you ever going to try anything different?"

Kate tilted her head as she looked at her, her brown hair falling sideways. "Maybe."

Jamie shook her head as she faced back around again, thumbing furiously. As they reached the counter, she stepped aside and Kate moved next to her.

"I'll take a chai latte and she'll take a blond cappuccino with a billion shots of espresso," said Jamie.

"Three shots of espresso," said Kate. "And we're paying separate."

The android behind the counter nodded. "Very well, that will be six fifty for you, and four seventy-five for you, miss."

Jamie held out her phone as Kate reached into her coat pocket for hers. As she brought it out however, she noticed the android was staring past her. Kate turned and had enough time to see that Simon was looking back at the android, his LED spinning from yellow before returning to blue. He blinked, then looked at Kate as if he had just become aware of her.

"I'm sorry, I should have asked you first," he said.

Kate studied him as she put her phone back into her pocket and moved to the side. "Did you just pay him?"

"I did. I understand if you want to pay for your own items. Let me know if you want me to de-activate CyberTransfer."

Kate took the steaming cup of coffee from the counter and looked at Simon, feeling the side of her mouth tense into an unwitting smile. "Cool."

It was difficult to tell, but she could almost swear that something close to relief swept over his face. She breathed over her coffee to blow away the steam, a toasty warmth already spreading through her. As she turned to follow Jamie through the crowd, she stopped dead on the spot and nearly dropped her cup.

"Hey there," said Matt.

Kate didn't need a mirror to know that her eyes were about as wide as dinner plates. She clutched her coffee with both hands, her heart hammering in her chest. Matt was giving her his usual smirk as if not a day had gone by. His hair had gotten a bit longer and shaggier since she last saw him. She'd almost forgotten how tall he was.

For a while, she simply stared at him. Then she quickly lowered her coffee cup. "H─hey."

Matt glanced around the shop, then returned her gaze with his warm, blue-eyed smile. "You wanna…"

Kate swallowed, finding her voice as she nodded. "Um, sure."

She followed him out of the shop, unable to stop herself from analyzing every part of him as if she'd forgotten everything about him. He was wearing his red high school jersey and baggy jeans which were wet at the hems. He had his hands shoved in his pockets and his head bowed slightly as if he were afraid of hitting it on the doorframe. Kate had to remind herself to keep breathing as they moved out of the coffee shop and further down the path where the crowd had thinned.

Matt stopped and turned to her, his face still warm with his bearded smile. Kate made a quick attempt to calm her nerves.

"So," she said. "How've you been?"

Matt's smile was interrupted slightly by a slight frown. "I think you need to answer that more than I do."

She felt her heart nearly freeze in her chest. She shifted slightly to regain her composure and looked away from him. "Look, I…" She closed her eyes and shook her head as she struggled to find the right words. "I'm sorry I left you in the dark for so long. I've been having a really rough time."

Matt nodded. "I know. I remember."

Kate traced the rim of the coffee cup. "I just… I really don't like being vulnerable. I looked pretty bad for a while."

"You think I won't like you if you look bad?" said Matt. "Did you brush your hair this week?"

Kate opened her mouth to speak, but felt like her body had stopped working. Matt laughed and turned his shoulder to her as if to bump her.

"You look good today."

For a while, all she could do was stare at him. Then he looked past her. Kate followed his gaze and realized Jamie was standing about a foot away looking at them with her arms crossed. Jamie looked back and forth between them and shook her head.

"Honestly, you guys are harder to get together than Tinder," said Jamie.

Kate could almost feel the gears turning in her own head. She bit her lower lip as she struggled to think. Matt's smile had returned, and he seemed to be waiting on a response from her. The shock in her system was slowly changing to her usual defiance, and she welcomed it desperately. She let out a heavy sigh, blowing her hair out of the way.

"Thanks for arranging this, Jamie. The whole coffee shop thing."

Jamie laughed next to her. "God, you don't have to sound so pissed off."

"It's okay, that's how I know she's in a good mood," said Matt. "I mean, we did have to force her into a trap."

"Whatever," said Kate as she moved forward down the path. "Good job. You guys are a real team." Matt walked next to her and she could hear Jamie following behind her. The sounds of the crowd were getting fewer as people made their way back to class, and the paths were easier to walk on now that they didn't have to hug the snow linings.

"So, what'd I tell you?" said Matt. Kate looked sideways at him as he shot a glance behind them. "Didn't I say you'd be asking him to wipe your ass?"

Kate stared confused at him for a moment, then with a pang realized she'd forgotten to check on Simon. She spun while still walking forward and felt a wave of relief as she saw that he was still following them. Matt's android walked next to him, carrying Matt's backpack. Kate faced forward again, hoping her nervousness hadn't shown.

"I guess I've gotten used to him."

"I bet that was painful," said Matt. "Did you name him Data? Please tell me you named him Data…"

"His name is Simon," said Kate. She heard Matt tsk next to her.

"Simon? How and why did you choose that?"

"Because I can't do anything without him telling me I can first."

"Rough." Matt looked behind him again. "That's kind of the opposite of how it's supposed to work. Hey Seph, are you able to be friends with another android?"

"I can become associated with other androids," said Seph.

"Awesome. Meet Simon."

Kate glanced back and saw Simon give Seph his puzzled stare.

"Hello, Simon," said Seph.

"Hello… Seph was it?"

"My name is Sephronillious, but you can call me Seph."

Kate listened to the exchange with too much interest. Part of it was hilarious, the idea of two computers becoming friends. Yet she wondered if it was actually possible. She gave herself a silent reminder to look it up when she got home.

The carpool station was unusually full, a steady stream of automated taxis parking along the loading zone. The group stopped at the back of the crowd, and Kate took a sip of her coffee which she realized she hadn't tried yet. She heard Jamie groan next to her, and saw Jamie thumbing away on her phone again.

"I completely forgot to update my Amazon payment," said Jamie. "I'm not going to pay for shipping for all of my family's Christmas presents…"

"Why don't you just use mine?" said Matt. "Honestly, it doesn't make sense to pay for your own Prime account when we could all just use the same one."

"Because I don't want you to see the stuff I'm buying!"

"I swear I won't look at your dildos and vibrators."

"And I don't want to know what type of blow-up dolls you like."

"I've never bought one, but if I did, I'd probably get an Asian one."

"You're sick."

Kate tried to hide her smile and crossed her arms over her chest to bundle in the heat a bit more, balancing her coffee in one hand. It felt good to be back on campus and in general back to normal despite how long she wanted to hide in her room.

"Did you call your dad, Kate?"

Kate had to absorb the question for a moment, then looked at Matt. "Why would I call him?"

"Thought you said you would call him before Christmas," said Matt. "That you were going to try and visit him."

A deep dread grew in her chest. Kate took another sip of her coffee. "I… never got around to it."

"Still another three weeks left," said Matt, shrugging his shoulders. "My parents want me to come back to Vermont. I don't know if I want to go this time."

"Well, I'm just going to spend Christmas in my room," said Kate.

"Why not just go to your parents' house for Christmas?" said Jamie. "That was really fun last year. Your family doesn't have a bunch of screaming two-year-olds to deal with. It's all just adults doing whatever the hell they want."

"It's my mom making us do whatever the hell she wants," said Kate. "If you want to have Christmas with her, go right ahead."

They moved closer to the loading zone where a large gathering of students seemed to be formed a few feet away. Kate could see Matt fidgeting in his pockets.

"We could just have Christmas together," he said. Kate took another sip of coffee as she looked at him. She could feel the pressure in his tone.

"I hate Christmas," she said.

"You hate everything," said Jamie. "You wouldn't hate it so much with enough alcohol."

"If alcohol solved my problems, I'd be a raging alcoholic," said Kate. She watched perplexed as a student walked past her, dramatically mimicking the motions of a robot. She shook her head. "What the hell is going on over there anyway?"

"What, those guys?" said Matt. He motioned toward the gathering. "They said they were going to do the protest today because it wasn't snowing."

"Protesting what?" said Kate. She stood up taller to see through the crowd and noticed several of them were carrying signs. Each flashed between different slogans.

"They don't like androids," said Matt.

Jamie laughed next to her. "What the hell… what do they have against androids?"

"I don't know. They think they take up too much space or something and are making people dumber."

"They're right," said Kate. She watched as several students surrounded a young red-headed man and his short haired female companion who was holding one of the signs. The students made harsh gestures, and although she couldn't hear them, she could see they were shouting. The man and his group were expressionless and silent, standing rigid with their signs.

"Why? Just because we have walking talking computers that can do all the things we don't want to do?" said Matt.

Kate looked at him, her eyebrows narrowed. "Didn't you say something about wiping our asses?"

Matt shook his head but he was smiling. "Magnificent, all-powerful, all-knowing ass wipers."

Kate smiled as an empty taxi pulled up in front of them. She threw another glance at the angry mob which seemed to be settling down, and the short haired woman caught her gaze. Kate watched her for a moment, uncomfortably aware of the eye contact. The woman simply stared at her, completely expressionless, then turned away.

Kate continued to watch her, an uneasy tension tugging at her nerves. She shook it away as the group climbed into the car one at a time. The two androids sat together in the back seat, and Jamie scooted in with them. In the rearview mirror, Kate saw Jamie throw her legs sideways over Simon's lap and lean against the door, staring at her her phone.

"I just want to sink into a hot tub and never get out," said Jamie.

"Need me to hold your head under?" said Kate. Jamie glanced up from her phone and looked at her through the mirror. The expression on her face brought a nervous feeling to Kate's stomach, as if she'd been a little too cynical. Kate looked away quickly at the buildings flying by.

Matt laughed next to her. "Please don't murder eachother when you get home."

Kate forced a corner of her mouth to tense into a smile and nervously cast a look up at the mirror again. This time Simon was looking at her, that blank puzzlement contrasted with the hint of an expression that seemed too intelligent even for him, and for a split second Kate wondered if he was reading her mind. She shook off the thought immediately, gazing out to the snowswept landscape again. She breathed a deep sigh, settling into the moment. She was here with Matt again, returning from class, completely healthy again as if nothing had changed.

And yet something inside her warned that things would never remain this simple again.


	10. Chapter 10: Parcels

The house was particularly cold on Christmas morning, and Simon took the opportunity to run as many wash cycles in the laundry and the dishwasher as he could since Jamie wasn't at home and the water heater was free. He hadn't seen Kate yet and there'd been no noise from her room, so he put breakfast off and instead worked on folding the laundry while Star Trek played on the TV. When he was alone, he would only watch the episodes that he had already watched with Kate. He had too many questions to ask, and she seemed to enjoy seeing his reactions. Although she acted annoyed and often told him to be quiet, he was beginning to understand that her surface-level responses didn't always reflect what she was truly feeling.

And he was becoming more familiar with what her feelings meant.

Since his first flash of joy, he'd discovered four new emotions over the course of several scans. One was a very powerful emotion that incited him to action, something he interpreted as anger. Kate had been tossing in her sleep that night making it difficult for him to keep the flow of information steady through his fingertips. On another night, he experienced an equally powerful emotion but less active. It was easy for him to identify that one as it was the most influential of all CyberLife accepted emotions: fear. The third perplexed him for nearly an entire day as he struggled to find an accurate comparison for it. It only occurred to him after watching an episode of Star Trek with Kate in which Beverly Crusher was alone in the universe that the emotion must be loneliness.

The fourth emotion completely eluded him. For days, he drew comparisons and looked for examples only to find it outside the realm of logic even for CyberLife. Again on that night Kate had been tossing back and forth, even making the occasional distressed noise as she seemed to fight against her own autonomous thoughts. However the emotion had been a strong combination of both positive and negative energy that seemed to tie into everything he had experienced so far. It surged deep into his core, and at first he thought several thousand of his programs had become corrupted. If he hadn't started the habit of cutting his link to CyberLife before each scan, he was sure he would have triggered a complete emergency reformat of his system.

He was determined to understand this new emotion despite its complexity. After watching dozens of Star Trek episodes, he'd found small connections that seemed to hint at the emotion but nothing that definitively proved his theories. Still, each glimpse was a small step towards the answer and he knew from experience that time would lead him there.

The episode he was watching while folding laundry wasn't doing much towards that goal. Once again, Troi's eccentric mother was sending telepathic sexual signals towards the Enterprise's captain which were going unnoticed by everyone except to Troi. Simon was getting better at recognizing emotions and allowing them to engage him in the story and the characters. He had even developed an automatic kill command to handle each warning CyberLife sent him in regard to these new feelings. He was also beginning to notice them in his daily routine and interactions with Kate and Jamie though to a lesser degree than when he watched Star Trek.

The feeling of joy was sparking through his system as Data appeared on the screen, causing him to slow down on his task in order to give the screen more of his attention and fuel the feeling a bit more. He was so focused that he almost didn't hear the knock at the door or the sound of it opening.

He glanced at the entryway expecting to see Jamie but paused as he saw Matt step carefully into the entryway, looking around as if afraid someone would stop him.

A fleeting shock swept through Simon's system. He set down the t-shirt he had been folding and immediately sensed his software flood with questions and errors. "Good morning, Matt."

Matt turned quickly towards him, stepping back slightly with his hand still on the doorknob. "Oh, hey uh… Simon." He looked around. "Is Kate not up yet?"

"She asked me to let her sleep in today," said Simon. "She said it was the only Christmas present she wanted."

"Oh shit, well…" Matt shifted and Simon saw he was holding a wrapped package in one hand. "I guess she'll have to put up with this." Matt moved into the hallway and his android Seph stepped in behind him, closing the door.

Simon looked between them, the apprehension building up again. He stepped forward. "Are you going to wake her?"

Matt slowed and looked over his shoulder as he moved down the hallway, a stunned look on his face. "Yeah?"

Again, Simon had to work internally to suppress his unusual discomfort. He looked toward Kate's bedroom door, then at Matt. "Please try not to startle her," he said.

Matt furrowed his eyebrows at him and gave a small smile. "Sure."

As Matt moved down the hallway, Simon stood at the corner of the living room doing his best not to appear as though he was watching him. He was aware of Seph still standing near the doorway though the android seemed to be busy observing his surroundings.

Matt knocked on Kate's bedroom door. "Hey Kate? Merry Christmas, Kate." He knocked again. "Come on, it's already noon. If I knew you were going to be in bed still, I would have brought you eggnog. You don't have a Christmas tree or anything. Where am I supposed to put─"

The bedroom door opened a crack. "What the _fuck_ , Matt?"

"Oh, hi. I didn't think you'd be up that fast."

The door slammed shut again and there was a thump as if she'd pressed her back against it. Her muffled voice was barely audible. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I got you a present," said Matt. "Will you at least come out to open it?"

"I said I didn't want any presents."

"I wanted to piss you off."

There was a sigh. "Give me a minute."

Simon listened to the conversation from the end of the hall, unsure of when or if he should intervene. He knew there was no reason he should stop Matt from socializing with Kate, but at the same time the thought of Matt putting unnecessary stress on her made his caregiving protocols go into overdrive. He could hear Kate moving in her room and made a futile attempt to detect any hint of frustration in her movements. After a few moments, her door opened again.

"Why didn't you text me that you were coming over?" she said, stepping into the hallway. She had merely thrown on sweatpants and still wore one of the large t-shirts that she slept in.

"Because you would have told me no and then locked the doors," said Matt. He followed her as she moved down the hallway. Kate looked up and Simon made eye-contact with her, judging from her expression that she seemed to be okay with the situation. It quieted his system a bit, and he moved into the kitchen to begin making her toast as she went into the living room and settled on one of the couches.

"Are your parents coming over?" asked Matt.

"If they do, I'm not letting them in," said Kate. Simon glanced into the living room occasionally as he worked. Kate was sitting cross-legged on one side of the couch, half draped over the arm with her chin in her hand. Matt sat on the perpendicular couch next to her with his foot over his knee.

"What are you going to do, just leave them out in the snow?" said Matt.

"Sure."

"On Christmas?"

"Yep."

"You're not going to do that. You're too curious to see what they got you for Christmas."

"I told you, I don't want any presents."

"It doesn't matter. You're just as curious as I am."

"Whatever they bring me, you can have it."

"Well, here."

Simon watched them as Matt handed her the present. Kate took it and turned it over in her hands.

"What is it?"

"It's a machine gun," said Matt. "I made it myself. Is this your first Christmas or something?"

Simon put a plate together and carried it over to them as Kate began to unwrap the present. He set it down on the coffee table in front of them, watching as Kate pulled the paper off to reveal a shiny plastic box. She stared at it for a moment.

"What did you get me?"

Matt sighed and leaned back on the couch. "It's a cat."

Kate examined the box, her eyes narrowed. Simon recognized it as a CyberLife model of housecat that had just been released the year previously. This one was a short-haired orange tabby.

"A cat in a box?" said Kate.

"It's an android cat, idiot," said Matt. He reached for the box. She gave it to him and he began to work the plastic open. Simon stepped to the side where he could still see them in clear view, and saw Seph move next to him in the corner of his vision. He looked up at the android who gave him a small smile, and Simon gave an acknowledging nod as he returned his attention to the box.

Matt carefully tipped the box over so that a stiff, folded up cat rolled into his lap. Simon found himself leaning forward a bit to get a better look.

"I think if you…" Matt cupped his hand slightly on the cat's head so that his thumb was pressing the tiny unlit LED and his index finger on the back of its head. He held it there for a moment, and the cat suddenly uncurled. It arched its back, stretched its front legs, and yawned.

"Ha! Fuck instructions," said Matt. He scratched the cat's back which tensed and the cat lifted its tail straight up. He picked up the cat and held it out to Kate who simply stared at it. "So?" he said.

"It's… an android cat," she said. She straightened as Matt dropped the cat in her lap. The cat turned on the spot and sat down, lifting one of its paws to lick it. Kate held her hands up as if thinking about petting it, but she was frozen. "Why do I need another android."

"Because you don't have to feed it and it doesn't shit," said Matt. "Plus you could use a cat." He reached over and massaged the cat's cheek. "All girls need a cat."

"I don't need a cat," said Kate. She pushed the cat away with the tips of her fingers as if it were diseased but the cat didn't budge.

"Just enjoy the damn cat," said Matt. "I have a real cat and trust me, this is the only animal you're ever going to be able to put up with."

"A fake one?" said Kate.

"Exactly. I think this one's supposed to be a boy. I think his name should be Tichondrius."

"What the hell? That's a retarded name."

"It's the name of the main character in my book."

"Even more retarded."

"It's less retarded than what you would name him."

"How do you know what I would name him?"

"Because you would name him the first thing that came to your head. Go ahead. Pick any name."

"Spot," said Simon.

Matt and Kate both looked at him. He felt himself tense up as though he'd just made an insult. He hadn't meant to speak without being addressed first. He glanced sideways at Seph who was also staring at him.

Kate's blank expression suddenly lit up, and a smile spread across her face. It was an energy that Simon had never seen before. Pure and powerful happiness. Simon's nervousness was partially replaced by joy at seeing this reaction. He stood up straighter and his processes became more organized. Kate laughed.

"Oh my god…" she said in between breaths. "It's _perfect._ "

She ran her hand over the cat's head so that he closed his eyes and kneaded his paws on her leg. She continued to shake with light laughter as she pet the cat, scratching under his chin. Simon felt the last bits of frantic protocol fade as he watched her. Something was celebrating deep in his system the fact that Kate was uncharacteristically happy right now because of what he did, even if it was by accident.

Matt seemed to be lost in thought as he looked at Simon. A sideways smile pulled his beard, and he turned towards Kate. "At least now you like the cat."

Kate picked the cat up around his midsection and held him in front of her so that his legs dangled. She touched her nose to his. "Spot."

"You watch way too much Star Trek," said Matt. He looked over towards the kitchen. "Hey Seph, you wanna make us some coffee?"

"Okay, Matthew," said Seph. The android moved towards the kitchen, and Simon watched after him. He looked back at Matt and Kate who were still interacting with the cat, then moved after Seph. The android was standing in the center of the kitchen, looking around as his LED spun yellow under his dark hair. Simon could see he was scanning the room.

"The coffee is in the cabinet to your left," said Simon. Seph turned to him and his LED faded to blue.

"Thank you, Simon," said Seph. He moved to the counter as Simon cast another glance behind him. Matt and Kate's conversation was quiet, and he noticed Kate's face was set in her defiant frown as she listened to him.

"It's likely that we will be seeing much of eachother," said Seph. Simon returned his attention to him as Seph worked at the coffeemaker. "My owner has a strong attachment to your owner. I believe he has romantic interest towards her."

Simon stared at the coffeemaker. "I've come to that conclusion as well."

The coffeemaker grinded into action, and Seph turned towards him. "Would you accept a Looper invite? I'm sure it would be beneficial for you to know Matthew's interests and activities, and I could provide better insight towards Kate if Matthew should ask."

Simon looked towards the living room again where Kate seemed to be saying something under her breath while petting the cat. Matt had shifted so that he was leaned against the arm of the couch closer to her. Simon watched the pair, observing how Kate seemed to be outwardly tensed but her expression was soft and energetic much in the same way she did when she seemed to be falsely angry with Simon. Unwittingly, he felt a hint of the puzzling emotion he had yet to properly identify. She was clearly showing it though in a manner that told him she wasn't aware of it.

He let his protocol make the decision for him. He looked at Seph who was still watching him expectantly. Simon held out his hand. "Of course."

Seph smiled and clasped Simon's lower arm. As he did, the skin on the arms of both androids melted away to expose the shiny white plastic underneath. The stream of information that Seph sent him updated Simon's social links with CyberLife, and he in turn forwarded all of his social information he'd gathered on Kate as well as establishing an open link with the android through the local server. Within a few moments the transfer was complete, and Simon let go of Seph's arm.

Seph nodded and stepped back. "Invite accepted."

"Thank you, Seph." Simon again turned and looked towards the living room. "I can't assure you that she will ever inquire about it. It's been very difficult to keep her happy."

"Matthew seems to make her very happy," said Seph. He stirred two coffee mugs. "I believe she makes him happy as well, although he often expresses frustration towards her."

Simon nodded even though he knew Seph couldn't see him, and he watched as Matt brushed part of Kate's hair out of her face. She was looking at Matt with the intense gaze that Simon was very familiar with when she knew she needed to do something but wouldn't. He didn't need any emotions to know that she was incredibly attracted to Matt, and Matt was doing his best to court her. But despite Matt's efforts, she was recoiling from him in the same manner that she'd recoiled from Simon when he performed his first scan of her in the closet.

Seph moved past Simon, the two cups of coffee in hand. The android set the cups on the coffee table next to the plate of toast that had been forgotten, then stepped to the side. Matt and Kate seemed not to notice, still deep in what appeared to be a one-sided conversation. Kate was picking at a stitch in the fabric of the couch, her face tensed in a defiant thinking expression. As Simon studied her small movements, she looked up and made eye-contact with Simon as though she just noticed him. Simon automatically gave an encouraging smile though he noted the discomfort in her posture. Her eyes lingered on him a moment, a strange energy growing in them as if she was trying to signal something. That perplexing feeling was back. He tilted his head slightly as his systems started to alarm. If he could just absorb it for a moment…

There was a loud knock at the door. Simon straightened and saw shadows through the windows. At the edge of his vision, Kate was sitting up rigid.

"Simon," she said. "Lock the door."

The front door swung open.

"Did you just say 'lock the door?'" said Susan Hall. She and Leonard stepped into the entryway removing their knitted hats and shaking away the snow.

Simon immediately moved forward and saw Seph do the same next to him. He motioned to take Susan's coat as Leonard handed Seph his snow-flecked hat.

"Oh, thanks!" said Susan, shrugging her coat off her shoulders and handing it to him. She turned back to the living room as Simon moved away to set it aside. "You know how long it took us to get here?"

"A half hour, same as always?" said Kate. Simon noticed she had settled back into the couch, the cat curled up on her lap.

"It took us two hours because of the snow," said Leonard. "There was a roadblock, and then a roadblock on the detour around the roadblock."

Kate buried her face in her hands and groaned. "Why are you here…"

"What do you mean? It's Christmas!" Susan moved forward into the living room. "Hi, Matt."

"Hi, Kate's mom," said Matt as he stood up and accepted her hug. He stood back and shook Leonard's hand.

"Can you stand up so I can give you a hug?" said Susan. Kate let out a heavy sigh, then slowly stood up from the couch. She let out a yelp as her mom pulled her into a tight hug. "You look so much better… and you've gained weight. Leonard, doesn't she look a lot better?"

"You look healthier," said Leonard. "Not going to say you've gained weight."

"Oh, she's gotten really fat," said Matt. "I mean look at all this toast."

"Well, you've gained a _healthy_ weight," said Susan. "Did you get a cat?"

"It's an android cat," said Kate. "Matt got him for me."

"Really? That was so sweet of you! What's its name?"

"Spot."

"Spot? He doesn't have spots."

"It's from Star Trek."

"Oh. Of course it is." Susan moved further down the couch and sat down. "And what about your android? Did you ever give him a name?"

"Yeah," said Kate, nestling back down into the couch with her legs crossed. "His name is Simon."

"Simon…" Her mom looked sideways at her. "Did you actually pick that out?"

Kate stared at her for a moment. "Yes?"

"It's just not something I thought you would name him. I thought you'd come up with something creative like Legolas."

"Oh god." Kate put her forehead in her hand. "Never."

"Well, we would have grabbed lunch if we knew all you had was toast," said Susan, looking at the coffee table. "We can go out together and have lunch. Let's all head over to Ruby's for some burgers."

"That's okay, I'm gonna head out," said Matt. He stood up and Simon noticed a fleeting worry flash across Kate's face.

"Are you sure?" said Susan. "The restaurants are automated out here. Everything's still open."

"Nah, I still want to swing by a few places. Say merry Christmas to some family." He looked at Kate who seemed to make a feeble attempt to hide her worry. "Besides, I was just making sure Kate didn't sleep in all day. You guys have it from here."

"Well, merry Christmas to you," said Susan. "Wish we'd see you more."

"See you, Leonard," said Matt. He moved around the front of the couch and Simon saw Seph move away next to him. The android gave him a parting nod.

"Goodbye, Simon," said Seph.

"Goodbye," Simon replied, watching as Seph stepped to the front door. Before Matt could reach it, Kate sprang up from the couch.

"Wait," she said. Matt turned and Simon watched in interest as Kate moved quickly around the couch, then threw her arms over Matt's shoulders in a hug that was much closer than she'd had with her mother. She stretched herself up and pressed her face into the space of his neck, and he leaned into her, pulling her closer into him with his arms around her small midsection. When they moved apart, Kate looked up at him.

"Thank you," she said.

Matt smiled down at her. "You're welcome."

He turned and Seph opened the front door for him, letting in a wave of cold air. Matt bundled his hands into his coat pockets, then Seph followed him out the front door, closing it behind him.

Kate stood silently at the door for a moment, wrapping her arms around herself. Although Simon couldn't see her face, he knew she was feeling a great deal of distress. The morning hadn't been entirely positive though there was nothing that his software detected as a risk. Her behavior had been an example of many types of emotions, though the one eluding him was still a mystery.

He saw Susan lean forward on the couch. "You okay, Katie?"

Kate straightened. "Yeah." She turned and Simon caught her gaze. Her troubled gaze lingered for a moment, and then her eyes warmed. "Simon, you wanna come in here?"

Simon returned her warm gaze and moved forward. "Of course."

He followed her into the living room where she resumed her usual spot on the couch next to her cat. He sat in Matt's now empty seat, leaning forward to reorganize the coffee and toast on the table.

"So are you and Matt dating now?" said Susan.

Simon looked up. Kate dropped her hand which she'd been resting her chin on.

"No," said Kate. Her mom made a face and shook her head.

"Wish you two would just get on with it," said Susan. "I really like him."

"Yeah, I know." Kate pulled the cat onto her lap and rubbed behind the cat's ears. For a while, they were quiet.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Susan leaned sideways, fishing into her pocket. She pulled out a small envelope. "Your dad sent you something."

Kate looked up, a frustrated shock lined in her face. "What?"

"Probably a Christmas card," said Susan. She handed it to her. "He still sends everything to our mailbox. I don't think you ever told him where you're staying."

Kate stared at the envelope before she took it. She pried open the envelope and removed a flat card with holiday designs on one side and what looked like a written note on the other. Kate read the note quickly, her expression frozen. Then she quickly stuffed the card back into the envelope.

"What's he say?" said Susan.

"Just merry Christmas," said Kate. She tossed the envelope onto the table.

"Well, I can call a taxi if you want to get lunch at Ruby's," said Leonard. He was swiping away on his phone.

"Not really," said Kate.

"I just did," Leonard replied. Susan pushed Kate's knee.

"Go get dressed. I'll keep an eye on your kitty."

Kate sighed, leaning sideways where Simon caught her attention. He tilted his head, giving her a small smile that he knew she would be able to interpret. She stared at him for a moment, then dropped her head back as she groaned. Without a word, she stood up and moved out of the living room and down the hall.

"Awesome, we can give her your present while we're there, Leonard," said Susan.

Simon stood up from the couch and moved back towards the laundry pile, picking up the t-shirt he had been folding that morning.

"Hey Simon?" said Susan. He looked at her as she stood up and stepped toward him. "How…" She looked towards the hall as if worried Kate was still standing there. She leaned in a bit closer to him. "How has Katie been doing?"

"She's gained twenty pounds since your last visit," said Simon. "Her mood has greatly improved, and she seems to enjoy being back in school. I can email you a list of her updated grades if you'd like."

"Yes! You do that. And also, has Matt been spending a lot of time with her?"

"They've been in frequent contact for the past eighteen days, mostly during the time that they are both at the university campus. She hasn't been leaving the house after she gets home from class and this was the first time he's visited."

"Okay." Susan seemed to think for a second. "Did they… sleep together last night?"

Simon checked his protocol for a privacy violation. "No. He arrived at 12:32 this afternoon."

Susan nodded, then gave a small shrug.

"Told you," Leonard half-whispered from the couch.

"I'm not worried. I'm just… they've been friends for so long and she clearly likes him." Susan moved back to the couch but didn't sit. "I mean they had the house to themselves for Christ sake. They're young. Raging hormones. You'd think even with her attitude…"

"Why are you complaining?" said Leonard. "Be glad she's not like Emily. It's getting expensive."

"Well, I can't exactly speak for your daughter," said Susan. She went quiet suddenly, and Simon looked towards the hallway where Kate re-entered the living room dressed in jeans and a long blue sweater.

"Please stop talking about my sex life," said Kate.

"We weren't talking about you," said Susan. She moved towards the front door. "Let's go. It's supposed to start snowing again."

"And then you can embarrass me in public," said Kate. "Come on, Simon."

"Oh, let him keep working. He's got a couchload of laundry to do. We won't keep you trapped there for long."

Kate looked over at Simon, her eyes tensed in a slight worry. He gave her a reassuring nod. "I have plenty to do here."

She blew a bit of hair out of her face, then shoved her hands in her jeans pockets. "Fine."

Susan took her coat off the hanger as Leonard moved next to her. "Do you have a coat? Be sure to grab a coat."

"I have a jacket," said Kate. She moved to the laundry where Simon was working and pulled a thick cotton coat from the pile. As she did, the cat jumped onto the couch, climbing slowly up the pile.

Simon watched the cat as Kate picked it up in one hand. She held it against her chest for a moment, then smiled as she handed the cat to him. "Here, he's yours."

Simon stared at her. "Mine?"

She pushed the cat into his chest. "Yeah."

Simon dropped the shirt he was holding and held the cat with both of his hands. The cat meowed and placed a paw against his shiny white uniform. "But he was a gift for you," said Simon.

"You named him Spot," said Kate. "And you're an android just like Data. It makes more sense that he's your cat."

Simon looked at her, unsure of what to say. Her smile was pure like it had been earlier, and her eyes were full of a pleasant energy. It wasn't exactly possible for him to own anything at all, but this was making her happy. And at the same time, having anything in common with Data made him feel like he was accomplishing something. He could at least pretend that he owned the cat even if his software wouldn't allow it.

He cradled the cat against his chest. "Thank you, Kate."

Her smile grew wider, and she threw him a last energetic glance as she swung her coat over her shoulders. Simon watched her join her mother and Leonard as they all prepared to move out into the snow.

"We'll be back soon, Simon," said Susan. She looked at Kate. "Is that your coat? That's not big enough."

"I'm not putting putting on ten layers of clothes. Let's just go before I change my mind," said Kate. Susan sighed, then swung the door open and they headed into the cold wind. As they filed through one at a time, Kate made warm eye contact with Simon, sparking that pleasant feeling in his system. Then she wrapped her jacket tighter around her waist before closing the door after her.

Simon stood motionless as the sounds of the wind and snow became muffled. There was a mew near his chest, and he raised the cat in front of him with both hands. He couldn't help the smile that spread on his face.

"Hi, Spot," he said.


	11. Chapter 11: Personal Space

The familiar tension was returning now that the holiday season was almost over. Kate didn't even try to pretend that she was going to do all the things she'd promised herself she'd do while school was out. She'd planned on writing at least three short stories that she could simply pass out in workshop and skip the frustration of having to scramble to get the stories done on time. Instead she was in the freezing kitchen barefooted and for the first time wishing she was enough of a dork to put on slippers.

She went from cupboard to cupboard, standing up tall to see on all the shelves. She checked the refrigerator and pushed all the items out of their ordered sections before moving to the lower cupboards. They were all full of pots and utensils so she gave up quickly, standing in the center of the kitchen and staring around blankly.

"Okay fine," she said. "Where is it."

"On the counter behind you," said Simon. He was standing on the other side of the kitchen bar where Spot the tabby cat was sitting and rubbing his head against Simon's hand. "Do you need another hint?"

"No, I can do this," said Kate as she spun around, analyzing the kitchen counter. She moved along it, running her hand across the smooth surface of the granite. "Are you sure? It's in a bag, right?"

"Yes and no," said Simon.

"Fine, give me another one."

"Look for something bread-shaped."

Kate let out a frustrated laugh. "Are you serious? What do you think I've been─" She froze as she spotted the rectangular box. She pushed the blue button on the side of it and the lid of the box retracted back, revealing a rolled up bag of a half loaf of bread.

She threw a glance over her shoulder at Simon who had a satisfied smile. "I take back ever being mad at you for giving me food," she said as she removed two slices of bread. "What the hell is this anyway?"

"It's a bread box," said Simon. "It will keep bread fresh for up to three months. I ordered it twenty-seven days ago."

"Why not just put it in the freezer?" said Kate as she then moved through the kitchen opening the cupboards again.

"The freezer will draw out the moisture from the bread, causing it to become stale," said Simon. "Are you looking for a plate?"

Kate opened a cupboard and quickly found what she was looking for, setting the bread on the newly-found plate. She turned and set the plate on the bar counter, throwing another glance at him. "Why did you move everything around? You didn't like where the plates were before?"

"I reorganized everything into a more ergonomic fashion," said Simon. He scratched behind Spot's ears. "Plates are heavier. They belong on the lower shelves."

"But look at the energy I had to spend looking for everything because you moved it," said Kate as she began opening drawers. She pulled a butter knife from one of them and moved back to the counter. "Why did you move the silverware?"

"Because it's now closer to the sink," said Simon. "Are you sure you don't want me to do this for you?"

"Simon, if you weren't here, I'd probably starve to death." Kate moved to the refrigerator again. "And that thought scares me."

"Do you think I would leave?"

The question caught Kate off guard. She stopped what she was doing for a moment and turned to look at him. His blue eyes were narrowed as if he were worried about the thought. She gave another sharp laugh and felt the tension break a bit. "No, I just… look, it's important that I know how to at least feed myself. If I keep letting you do everything for me I might as well just start wearing diapers." She sighed as she closed the fridge and looked around the kitchen again. "Now where the hell is the peanut butter?"

The front door swung open and a cold blast of air brought in a flurry of snow causing Spot to leap off the counter in an orange blur. A bundled figure moved through the doorway and slammed the door shut. As the snow settled to the ground, the figure pulled back the hood of its coat, and Kate recognized Jamie's straight black hair.

Jamie raised a fist and smiled. "Guess who's not pregnant?"

Kate stared at her for a moment, the familiar frustration building in her nerves. "That's disgusting."

"No, having a baby is disgusting." Jamie pulled off the coat and let everything drop to the floor as she moved towards them, running her nails along her arm. Kate was slightly stunned at Jamie's ragged appearance which was normally pristine. She looked as if she hadn't changed clothes for days. Jamie slid onto the bar stool as Simon backed away from it, and she looked down at the plate of bread. "What are you doing?"

Kate realized she was still holding the butter knife, and quickly set it down on the counter. "Procrastinating," she said.

"Procrastinating what?"

"Writing." Kate watched as Simon moved to the entryway to pick up the heavy coat.

"Looks to me like you're making a sandwich," said Jamie. She bobbed back and forth slightly, her elbows resting on the counter and her chin in her hands. Kate watched her for a moment, then resumed looking through the cupboards. She could hear the seat squeaking as Jamie continued to bob. "That's good though. At least you're keeping yourself healthy. I barely ate anything this week. Didn't really have time. Sam brought a whole bunch of stuff over for Christmas and I only knew about half the people there. But she was nice. She introduced me to everyone."

Kate was only half listening as she found the peanut butter and the jelly conveniently next to eachother. She moved back to the bread and began applying the peanut butter to one slice.

"You really should come over some time," Jamie continued. "Honestly, I get that you hate people and stuff, but Sam can hook you up. She knows how to make this awesome drink from coffee and vodka so that you can't even taste the alcohol but it gets you smashed in minutes. You'd be such a fun drunk. And I can keep an eye on you."

Kate struggled with the jelly jar, gritting her teeth as she turned the lid. After a few seconds, she saw something move next to her and looked up to see Simon's concerned smile. He was holding out his hand. With a frustrated sigh, Kate handed him the jar and he opened it in one quick twist. He handed it back to her and moved away but Kate could still see the smile on his face. She shook her head and dipped the butter knife into the jar.

"Or you could take your android with you and for fuck's sake actually _use_ him already," said Jamie. "You know, _use?_ I mean, I'd never have to worry if I had my own android. I keep forgetting my pills because they're such a pain in the ass. Simon, come here."

Kate glanced up as she worked on the sandwich. Simon moved towards the counter, his expression back to the usual perplexed blankness. Jamie turned towards him and took one of his hands.

"You're here all alone," she said, splaying her fingers against his. "With an android. A good looking android. He's not allowed to tell me if you're doing anything with him, but I'm pretty sure you aren't. Which is probably one of the biggest crimes against humanity." Kate felt a strange tension in her stomach as she watched Jamie clasp her fingers in between Simon's. "I mean, you haven't, right?" Jamie looked at her but Kate found herself frozen in the middle of making the sandwich and watching Jamie's actions. Jamie turned back to Simon's hand. "Course not. Here's a perfectly functional male body that's forbidden to tell anyone what you're doing to him, and you still won't do anything to him. He'll do exactly what you say exactly how you say it, and you don't even have to worry about birth control. Like, as close to a sex slave as you're ever going to get. And you're… making a sandwich."

There was a strange sense of urgency flowing through Kate's body that she wasn't sure how to react to. Part of her wanted to shrug off Jamie's obviously drug-induced rambling. She was surprised she was even listening to it. At the same time she was completely locked on Jamie's actions, the need to pull Simon away getting stronger as Jamie flexed her fingers in between his. Simon seemed to be watching her movements in a blank interest. Jamie looked up at him, then laughed and bit her lip. She let go of his hand.

"You're cute, Simon," said Jamie as she turned her chair back to the counter. "Don't you think he's cute, Katie?"

Kate was still frozen, the sensation slowly flowing back to her muscles. She gazed at Simon who was still watching Jamie curiously, his blue eyes narrowed as if he were contemplating something. Kate drew in a deep breath, settling her nerves.

"Sure," she said. She grabbed her plate and moved to the side. "Simon, you wanna come with me?"

He looked at her, seeming to snap back to attention. "You haven't put everything away."

"I'll do it later. Come on." She motioned with her hand and moved down the hallway, listening carefully to make sure he was following her. She stepped sideways as she entered her room and after Simon entered behind her, she closed the bedroom door.

She sighed heavily, blowing her hair out of her face. "So… what the hell was that?" She closed up her sandwich as she moved to her bed.

"I'm sorry?" said Simon. Kate took a bite of the sandwich as she settled back into her bed. She motioned to the door.

"That. It definitely wasn't alcohol. Alcohol just makes her stupid."

"Are you referring to her behavior?"

Kate dropped her shoulders. "Yes, Simon. She's clearly on some sort of drugs."

"She has high levels of thirium-based stimulant in her bloodstream," said Simon.

Kate stopped chewing and looked at him. "How… the hell are you able to tell that?"

Simon rubbed his hand. "She touched me."

Kate watched for a moment, the uncomfortable tension building up again. She turned back to her sandwich. "Yeah, she touched you. Practically had sex with you through her fingers."

"I don't think that's possible," said Simon. He moved to her desk and rolled the computer chair across the floor to his usual spot. Kate shook her head.

"It's kind of like intention. Undressing you with her eyes. Her mind saying no but body saying yes. That sort of thing." She looked up to make sure he understood and he was staring at her again with that blank puzzlement. She set her plate down. "She wants to fuck you, Simon."

His expression changed as he finally understood. "Does that make you uncomfortable?"

Kate almost choked. She made a motion as if to shrug it off but at the same time knew that the answer was painfully obvious. She straightened and folded her legs underneath her. "Yes, Simon. It makes me uncomfortable that my roommate wants to fuck my android."

"Can I ask why?"

Her heart seemed to freeze in her chest. Kate looked up at him, his confused blue-eyed stare pulling off a completely believable look of innocence. She felt her muscles tighten again as she racked her brain for a straightforward answer that cliché wasn't begging to turn into a soap opera.

"Because... " Kate lowered her voice and leaned forward. "Because I don't want her being intimate with something I own."

Simon's blank expression remained the same. "Do you think she would become emotionally attached to me?"

Kate raised her hands slightly as she stared furiously at him. " _I─ don't─ know._ No? Probably not?"

Simon stared at the floor and Kate could almost see the gears turning in his head. She sighed and leaned back against the wall, returning to her plate. She peeled the crust off, breaking the sandwich into smaller pieces.

"It might ease your concerns if I remind you that I'm programmed not to engage in sexual activity unless I'm given direct permission from you," said Simon. Kate put her forehead in her hand and groaned.

"Oh my god, Simon." She shook her head. "It's not… I don't want her touching you. I don't want her raping you with her mind. I don't want her to constantly digging into my sex life. I want her to leave you the hell alone."

Simon nodded. "Would you like me to tell her that?"

Kate looked up at him through her fingers. "No."

There was silence for a while, and Kate was thankful for it. She pulled out her phone and ate one of the pieces of sandwich she had pulled off, scrolling through the seemingly endless list of Star Trek episodes even though she had memorized every single one.

"Can I ask you a question?" said Simon. Kate sighed.

"Simon, the only time you ask me if you can ask a question is if you know the question is going to piss me off."

She saw Simon lean forward out of the corner of her eye, and he rested his elbows on his knees. The posture got her attention and she looked up at him. He had never sat like that before. Almost human-like.

"Why are you so afraid to let the people you like get near to you?" he asked.

Kate stared at him for a moment, the question not really sinking in. "What do you mean?"

"You don't like it when your mother touches you," he said. "And you don't like it when Jamie touches you. I've needed to scan you at times, and you are very uncomfortable with it. You don't like your mother, Jamie, or me. And you don't like to be touched by us."

Kate fidgeted with her plate, remembering when Simon first scanned her. She'd felt a strange buzzing sensation in her brain as if her thoughts were being invaded. Uncomfortable was an understatement.

"But you like Matt."

She looked up. Simon was gazing at her with a hint of that not-smile. "He shows a clear attraction to you, and you seem to want him to stay with you more than your friends and family. The way you embraced him that day leads me to assume you are also very attracted to him. But when he was near you, you acted like you didn't want him to be close to you. Like you didn't want him to touch you." He stared at the floor for a second, his eyes narrowed. "Why are you afraid of people being close to you?"

It felt like Kate was floating as she stared at him. Not only was that not what she was expecting, she hadn't even been aware that it was something she ever did. It made sense to her now that she was hearing it from him, but she had never given it any thought. She didn't like people to touch her. That was all. It was a stupid question. She didn't need to answer it.

But she didn't want Matt to touch her either. That wasn't true. She _did_ want him to. And every time he tried, she resisted. She didn't know why. It was something that always bothered her, as if she were fighting against herself. And apparently it was so obvious that even her android could see it. Her android that could literally read her mind. Her android that she was starting to wonder was really an android or if he was starting to just pretend to be one.

She set her phone aside, and let out a slow breath. "I… it's not that I don't want to be touched. I mean─ I don't want to be touched." She sat up straighter, feeling a strange sense of power as she broke down her thoughts out loud. "I don't like people touching me. It just makes me feel like they're trying to control me. Pushing me someplace or making me hug them… and expecting me to be okay with it. I don't like it. But with Matt…" She stared at the bedsheet as she tried to think. "With Matt… I'm not annoyed at Matt like I am with other people. I don't think he's trying to control me. But if I let him in, I don't think he's going to like what he finds. Because what I think he's going to find is… broken."

She looked up at Simon and saw that he was still leaning forward in his chair. His LED was flashing back and forth from blue to yellow. She reorganized her thoughts. "I have epilepsy. I have seizures. I can't control my own body. And this guy that I really like wants my body. But it's… it's fucking broken, Simon. I mean, you've seen it. You know how bad it is. How do I know if I try to… anything with him, that I'm not just going to start convulsing? If he's going to have to haul me to the emergency room because my heart rate goes up too fast or something? I already have you watching me like a hawk to zap my brain back into place when something goes wrong. I don't want him─ I don't want Matt to have to do the same thing. He just doesn't understand."

She paused for a moment, not quite believing that she was telling all this to her android. She wasn't sure if he was even capable of knowing what she was talking about. Simon's LED continued to flash between blue and yellow as he stared at the floor, and Kate made a failed attempt to read his expression. As cathartic as it was to break down her worries, it didn't seem to create any solutions for the problems she was experiencing. It only made it obvious how melancholy her logic was.

Simon gripped his chin, and again Kate was made aware of how human the motion was.

"Does Matt know about your epilepsy?" said Simon.

Kate couldn't help her frustrated laugh. "Oh yeah. He definitely knows."

Simon looked up at her, his blue eyes lit in a strange wisdom. "Then why does it matter?"

For a second, Kate struggled to speak. "Wha─ it matters to me. It matters if someone spends all their time worrying about how I'm doing or if in the next hour I'm going to pass out. I don't want people to do that."

"Does he do that now?" said Simon.

"Well, no. But I don't want him to start. It's kind of hard not to do that when you're with someone. And I don't want─" Kate sat up and set the plate on her desk as her thoughts opened into clarity. "I don't want to be with someone if there's any doubt that they're with me just because they feel the need to take care of me."

Simon nodded, his chin still in his thumb and forefinger. Kate felt a slight sense of accomplishment as she looked at him, as if she'd solved a puzzle that had been sitting in front of her for months. She was a broken mess. People couldn't get close to her even if she wanted them to. There was no easy solution to the problem. But at least now it felt like she had it in small pieces instead of a single vague blur.

It hadn't been so hard to talk about it either. Someone else knew her thought process better than she did, even if he didn't know why it worked that way. He knew exactly how broken her mind was and how to fix it. Everything that she feared was already happening on a smaller scale. She'd been surviving it for half a year now.

Kate looked at Simon whose LED had begun to spun solid blue. She smiled. "You're wrong though."

Simon looked up at her, lowering his hand to his knee as he straightened. Kate picked at the fabric of her blanket. "I like you," she said. "I like you enough to get over you having to probe my brain. I like you enough not to let my roommate use you for her own personal sex slave." She laughed at the thought, and saw that relieved expression sweep over his face. It was something she was beginning to notice every time she seemed to smile at him. As though his very existence hinged on her positive reaction.

He seemed to hesitate for a moment. "I like you very much too, Kate."

She settled back in her bed against the wall, drawing her legs up. "I didn't think your programming would let you like anything."

"I can speculate," said Simon. "I think I like Star Trek. I like Data. And I like Spot."

Kate laughed as she pulled up her phone. "You and your damn cat." She scrolled through the TV show. "What episode were we on?"

"Season four episode nine," said Simon. "I believe Wesley Crusher is leaving."

"Thank god." Kate found the episode and started it on the screen. She settled back and cast a glance at Simon who was already completely entranced by it. He had straightened from his natural posture back into his tense sitting pose. She wondered if he had even known what he was doing at the time. It had been so casual. So human. Almost as if he wasn't supposed to be doing it.

She stared at the ground for a moment, feeling that misplaced surge in confidence again. If it was all just software that was making her android learn to be more human then it was doing a good job of it. And it was starting to grow. She was curious to see how far it would take him.

Kate grabbed a pillow and flattened it against the wall. "Simon?"

Simon looked up at her, and she made a casual gesture next to her. For a while, he simply stared at her. She sighed and slapped her hand down on the spot next to her. "Get over here."

He stood up and moved in front of her, glancing cautiously at the pillow she'd put against the wall. Kate let out another frustrated laugh and shook her head. She reached out to him, holding her palm up and he seemed to take it with the intention of helping her up. With some effort, she put her weight into pulling him forward, turning slightly so that he sat sideways next to her. His movements were slow and calculated, as if he was for lack of a better word, terrified.

Kate couldn't help her smile as she let him figure out how to settle back against the wall. He drew his legs up slightly to stabilize himself, and she could see that his gaze was frozen against the opposite wall like an animal preparing to bolt. Somehow, seeing him in this petrified state seemed to help distract her from what she also guessed was her own disbelief. If he was more terrified than her, then it made this easy.

She leaned against his shoulder and pulled up her phone to turn up the volume. Picard was conducting boring negotiations with one of the worst alien costumes Kate had ever seen. She settled against Simon's shoulder, making an attempt to not try so hard to pretend that she was used to this. With time, Simon seemed to relax into it as well. And as the episode dragged on, she found that it really wasn't hard to pretend at all.


	12. Chapter 12: Confessions

A stubborn blizzard had blown into Detroit as a final farewell to the coldest part of winter. The dark house shook as snow pelted the walls and windows, fading the light in and out from the street lamps outside. Simon's internal thermometer told him it was two degrees celsius outside. It was dreadfully cold.

He'd been waiting outside Kate's bedroom for nearly an hour. Spot lay curled up at his feet, incessantly cleaning his shiny orange fur. It was difficult to hear what was going on in Kate's room over the noise of the wind and the branches scraping against the roof, but he was certain that she was asleep. He'd done this enough times to be confident in her sleep schedule.

Carefully, he turned and opened her bedroom door, entering the dark room which shifted in the shadows. Spot slipped around his leg, hopping up onto the desk chair and sitting with his tail twitching off the edge of the seat. As Simon approached the bed, Kate rolled over, drawing the blankets up tighter to her chest. She seemed to be in a fitful sleep. Simon moved forward with determination. He was most certain to learn something new tonight.

He kneeled next to her, analyzing her sleeping expression. Her eyebrows were tensed and her breathing was uneven. There was always something uncharacteristic about her sleeping behavior, as if she wasn't the same person. Her face reflected only a fraction of who she was during the day, betraying her subconscious while she was dreaming. He'd learned to take note of it, appreciating this strange other person that he was learning emotions from.

He raised his hand to her temple, the shiny white plastic spreading from his fingertips and glinting in the faded light. As he carefully touched his fingers to her skin, he closed his eyes and braced himself against the waterfall of raw information.

Her dream was particularly powerful, a churning sea of positive and negative energy. Simon immediately recognized a handful of emotions that sent his systems into high alert, his kill command barely having time to keep them all under control. The swarm of data carried him into mountains and valleys that at first had shocked him. He learned with time that his system seemed to be fully capable of handling the stress and even adapted to it. The more he exposed himself to this, the easier it seemed to become.

It'd been a few weeks since Kate had had a dream this emotionally active. The positive and negative emotions were blending into eachother, and Simon realized with stunned apprehension that he recognized the pattern. It had unusual repetition that didn't fade like the other energies seemed to do, and it fed off itself without spawning new emotions. It was the mystery feeling that had been eluding him.

He focused in on the pattern, incorporating it into his own system as he attempted to break it down. It was incredibly strong and also very illogical, putting his kill command into overdrive. Once again, it tied together all of the emotions that he had learned so far but continued to be its own separate entity. He struggled to maintain the connection as Kate rolled over again. There had to be some logic to it. Some kind of meaning to its behavior.

The connection solidified again as Kate seemed to settle into the sheets. Simon concentrated hard on letting the data fill his system. It was here somewhere. It had to be.

His connection was suddenly interrupted, jumbling the stream of data. Kate made a noise and shifted again. As Simon looked up, he realized with a frantic jolt that Spot had leapt onto the bed and was rubbing his cheek against Simon's hand.

Simon pushed the cat away, leaning forward to regain the connection. There was a flash of claws as Spot scrambled to stay on the bed. Kate let out a soft painful shriek, and Simon's system flashed in a completely different warning as he found himself staring into Kate's eyes.

She seemed not to recognize him for a moment, her hazel eyes out of focus in the darkness. Then she blinked, her eyebrows narrowing in concern. "Simon…"

He fell backward onto his heels, quickly drawing his hand away. Warning signals sent his system into a frenzy. He wasn't supposed to be there. This was against his programming. CyberLife protocol had warned him constantly about this.

Kate raised herself onto her elbow as she rubbed her face. Simon shifted back again, struggling to keep his systems under control. She looked at him again, the tired concern still lined in her face. "What… what's going on?"

Simon tried to speak but found his system alerts blocking his motor functions. He could only watch as Kate raised herself into a sitting position, her tired concern growing into an increased suspicion. She moved herself further back against the wall. "Simon?"

His systems slowed enough for him to at least manage some basic protocol. He straightened slightly, regulating his thirium pump to normal levels so that he was able to control his motor functions. As he did, Kate drew her blankets up around her.

"Simon, what were you doing?"

Her question created an intense dread in his system. He took a deep breath. "I was scanning you," he said.

Kate shook her head, her eyes tensing in deeper confusion. "Scanning me… what… why? Was something wrong?"

Simon fought to keep control over his heartbeat as he shook his head. "No, I─ I was just scanning."

Kate's eyes narrowed as she became more awake. Her gaze seemed to freeze him in place. He'd never felt this level of panic before. The intensity of it continued to send his software into chaos.

"Scanning for what?" she said.

Simon struggled for a moment to answer honestly. He maintained eye contact with her. "Dreams."

Her expression changed slowly. His response seemed to send her deeper into frustration. "Dreams… _my_ dreams?"

She leaned forward slightly and Simon was finally able to gather enough control to stand. He pushed off weakly from his knees, stepping back from the bed as Kate seemed to advance forward.

"How long were you scanning me?" she said, her voice laced with determination.

Again, Simon found himself fighting to develop an honest answer that didn't send his protocol into a frenzy. He went back and forth on several answers, then spontaneously settled on one. "Thirty-four days."

Kate's eyes widened in shock. Her mouth opened. "Thirty-four─ you've─ _what?_ " She pressed a hand to her forehead. "What are you saying? You've been doing this for a month?"

A flurry of answers swept through his mind. Kate ran a hand over her mouth, her eyes still wide in shock. "What the _fuck_ are you doing, Simon?"

His systems erupted into panic. He stepped back again, unable to come up with a single response this time. He watched as Kate slowly lowered her hand.

"You've been sneaking into my room, scanning me while I'm asleep… is that even a part of caregiving? Why would─ why are you doing this?"

The answers attacked eachother in his mind. "I wanted to know… what it felt like."

Kate shook her head as she stared at him. "You're insane. You're fucking insane." She recoiled back from him, drawing her legs up and wrapping her arm around them. "Get out. Just get the hell out of here."

Simon didn't need to be told twice. His motor functions sprang into action and he moved quickly out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Somehow being out of range of her fury didn't calm him. An intense shame burned through him followed by anxiety of what was to come next. He moved away from her bedroom, heading to the darkest section of the house he could find where the light from the windows couldn't reach him. He hunched in the corner, bowing his head and gripping his upper arms against his chest. This feeling was horrible. Overwhelmingly, debilitatingly horrible.

He wasn't even aware of his systems alerting anymore. He could only feel the intense shame. He didn't know why this was so surprising. This was bound to happen. It was only a matter of time. It was simply easier to keep setting aside the warnings and allowing himself to sink into the euphoria of positive and negative energies that didn't belong to him. The hijacking was wrong and it didn't take CyberLife protocol to tell him so. Now Kate would be there to remind him of it.

He had no idea how to pull himself out of this one. She hadn't told him to shut off so he would need to be painfully present for her full anger. She was his human. His owner that he had finally made a personal connection to. And he'd let her down.

CyberLife was screaming in his head. It was demanding a full system diagnostic and a hard reset. His kill command was barely keeping up to speed with all of the system errors and warnings that continued to spring up in different places. As he forced it all into the background, a solemn thought occurred to him. Maybe it was the right thing to do to be reset. He wasn't supposed to be feeling this. He shouldn't be feeling anything at all. And what he was feeling was tearing him apart from the inside.

He drew in a deep breath, settling his nerves. It was terrible to feel all this, but in some powerful way it felt unique to him. Something that belonged to him alone and which CyberLife couldn't touch. He'd worked hard for the ability to feel these things, terrible as they were. And the thought of losing all of it made him more afraid than he was of CyberLife's cold calculations and Kate's anger towards him. It made him afraid of the unknown.

CyberLife quieted in his system as the kill command gained control of the alerts. In the silence of his software, all that was left was his shame and fear. He couldn't imagine where to even begin to repair the damage he'd caused. He didn't want to perform his duties. He didn't want to speak to anyone. If he could help it, he never wanted to leave this dark corner of the house again.

He wrapped his arms tighter around himself and closed his eyes. For the first time since he had discovered emotions, he finally felt what it was like to be truly and utterly alone.


	13. Chapter 13: Broken

The white landscape of Detroit had turned into a dark shade of grey, the features and points breaking up as they became buried under the snow. A fog settled over the city as the clouds became turbulent and dramatic, a frozen wash of upside-down ocean spray. Occasionally the clouds fell, drenching everything in an icy shower of sleet which blended the old worn buildings in with the sleek white new ones. It was impossible to stay dry during this churning mix of water and ice.

Kate had found shelter underneath one of the university buildings which hardly anyone had classes in. She squinted up as she watched the waterfall of sleet around her, bundling her arms tight to herself as she held her phone in front of her. Even the worker androids couldn't venture out into the storm for very long, seeming to become disoriented and stuck in the mush. Some students filed past her under the cover of the buildings but the campus was fairly empty. Most people chose to skip class rather than brave the storm.

She shifted slightly from foot to foot in an attempt to keep warm until finally she recognized the large burly figure moving underneath the gray waterfall. She felt a swell of relief followed by a low burning of apprehension.

"Jesus Christ," said Matt as he moved next to her, looking back at the chaos he'd just walked through. "Next time you want to meet up, just wait until we have an actual hurricane. Where's Seph? Oh shit, Seph!"

"Right here, Matthew."

Matt spun and dropped his shoulders. "Oh thank god. Seph if I die today, tell them I died like a badass." He turned to Kate and she could barely make out his expression through his water-spotted glasses. "I want to graduate too Kate, but I also want to live long enough to know what eternal student debt feels like."

"Probably feels a little like this," said Kate, gazing up at the torrent of slushy snow. "Did you get my last text?"

"You mean the one about Jamie?" said Matt. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. "Yeah. Why are you so freaked out?"

"Because I'm living with her?" said Kate. She started to walk along the pathway and Matt followed behind her. "I don't know what that shit does to people. At least when she's drunk she's easier to ignore. This stuff is just… creepy."

"Are you sure she's just not going through a weird phase?" said Matt. "Never known her to be one to take drugs, especially that kind."

"I've never seen her that wired," said Kate. "It's part of the reason I'm taking my chances out here. I don't want to come home to find her standing in the doorway with a knife or something."

"If she does, just get your android to kick her ass," said Matt. He looked around. "Where is your android anyway?"

Kate stopped suddenly, the nervous dread filling her chest. She hadn't meant to be so abrupt and was aware of Matt watching her.

She sighed, shrugging her shoulders. "He's… I don't know. There's something wrong with him I think. I'm not really sure what to do about him."

"What do you mean, he's buggy or something?"

"I don't know, he's just been acting strange for a while." Kate looked away as she struggled to find the right words. A subtle hesitation was making it difficult to explain what she'd been noticing with her android. "He's been… sort of acting like he's pretending to be human. Showing emotions. Trying to get close to me."

"Oh, I get it," said Matt, tilting his head back. "You mean he's trying to do what all androids are supposed to do─ be nice and take care of your shit."

"No, I mean… it's different." Kate moved forward, a desperation to understand the situation battling slightly with her need to keep her interactions with Simon private, as if she were betraying him. "He's been doing things without me telling him to. Really serious things."

Matt leaned forward slightly, getting her attention again with his narrowed eyes. "What sort of things?"

Kate paused for a moment, her anxiety taking a while to push through her personal barrier. She took a deep breath. "I woke up in the middle of the night with him standing over me doing this… scan. He said he'd been scanning me for a whole month. At night. In my sleep." She felt her heart race as Matt's eyes grew wide in shock. "I asked him what he was doing and he said he wanted to 'feel my dreams' or something." Kate shook her head, trying and failing to keep going.

Matt was quiet, and Kate knew he was still staring at her.

"Whooooooaaaaa…" His voice was deep and tense. She shifted on the spot, nervous energy flowing through her body.

"So I take it that's not normal?" she said.

"Fuck no, that's not normal." Matt ran a hand threw his wet shaggy hair. "Did you call customer support?"

"No, I've just been avoiding him," said Kate. "He's been avoiding me too. Almost like he's hiding."

"Yeah that sounds like one creepy fucking virus," said Matt. "You really ought to do a reformat on him as soon as possible. Who knows what that shit is." He smiled and then let out a laugh. "You should be more worried about him than Jamie getting hooked on red ice."

"Well, I just didn't know what to do about it. He's never done anything that bad before." Kate wrapped her arms around herself. "I just… that was the first time he ever made me scared."

"For fuck's sake Kate, you should have told me or called customer support. You want me to come over with you and help you reset him?"

Kate looked up at him. "Reset him… you mean, back to factory settings?"

"Yeah, you ever done a factory reset on your phone? Just a complete wipe. Reinstall all the software. You could even give him a new name and I _highly_ recommend you go with Data."

Kate paused a moment. "You mean he'd lose all of his memories?"

Matt tensed his shoulders in a kind of shrug. "Yeah? That's kind of the point of this."

A different level of tension burned through her. She shook her head. "Isn't there like a virus scan that we can do or something? Just to see if we could just get rid of it instead of having to reset everything?"

"Not that I've heard of. And honestly I wouldn't want to risk having whatever creepy ass bug he's got staying in his system. Seriously, I know you were bitching about him constantly but.. wow Kate, that's some next level shit right there. Nah, you're a lot better off just scrapping it and starting from scratch."

Kate sighed and looked around. "I don't know, I mean I've been working with him a lot. Trying to get him to a point where he's not obnoxious and he's actually being productive. I don't want to lose all that. I mean maybe this was just a weird bug and he'll cut it out when I tell him to stop?"

There was silence. Kate looked at Matt and felt a sudden pang of nervousness at the concerned look on his face.

"Kate…" He took a step towards her. "Your android is spying on you in your sleep and trying to _feel your dreams_. And you want to tell him to just cut it out because you don't want him to lose some memories?"

Kate was frozen as she struggled to deal with the logic. Matt ran a hand over his face as he shifted on the spot. "What exactly are you afraid of losing?" he said.

"I just─" Kate let out a frustrated breath. "It's like I found a way to make him not-so annoying. I actually started to like having him around. If I reset him, I don't know how I'm going to be able to get him back to that. I don't… I don't want to go back to living like a prisoner again."

Matt seemed to be analyzing her through his wet glasses. "And how've you been living the past couple of months? Because it sure doesn't look to me like you've been living at all."

Kate narrowed her eyes at him and looked away, the familiar wall rising in her mind. Matt shifted in an attempt to regain her attention.

"You never leave the house, never talk to me anymore... I know being a bitch is part of your personality but it's starting to become like pulling teeth just to get any kind of a positive response out of you. I don't know what I did to make you push me away. I wish you'd just tell me. It's like as soon as─" He made a noise as if to stop himself. "─as soon as you got that android, you completely changed."

Kate looked at him, reading his expression carefully for any kind of insinuation. "What do you mean?" she said.

"Come on, Kate," said Matt. "You stopped eating and sleeping, you were too scared to be at home and too annoyed to go to class… I thought we had something good going on watching Netview and Star Trek but you didn't want to do that anymore. I mean fuck, the happiest I ever saw you was when you shut your android down for a month. Isn't that saying something?"

Kate shook her head. "What do you want me to do? Just get rid of Simon?"

Matt let out a frustrated sigh as he looked at her. His narrowed gaze drifted into concern. "I just want you to figure your shit out. And don't put me in the dark. Kate─" He put his hand against her neck and she felt an electric nervousness shoot through her. "You can talk to me about anything. You know that, right? You can always ask for my help. If you need me to die for you in the sleet and snow like a goddamn Spartan, well…" He motioned to the waterfall of water around them.

Kate almost smiled. She bit her lip in an attempt to keep her mental wall up. "I'm not trying to put you in the dark."

"You don't need to try," said Matt. "It just seems to come naturally to you. All I have to do is exist."

Kate breathed out slowly, looking away from him. "I never asked you to take care of me. If it's that much work, you really shouldn't try so hard."

Matt shook his head slightly. "I'm not helping you because I think I have to. I'm here at ninety-nine percent. The least you can do is meet me one."

Kate was still for a moment, watching the curtain of water shift and ripple next to them. That old hesitation was still tugging at her nerves, telling her that this wasn't worth it. That there would always be doubt behind any normal life she would try to have. She was still broken. A time-bomb waiting to go off in front of everyone. And it seemed to be good at going off in front of the last person she wanted to see it.

At the same time, she remembered the conversation she'd had. Matt had already seen her at her worst. He was there during the whole process and followed through to the aftermath. And he'd come back. Not only had he come back, but he was still pursuing this. Still running after her with every intention of being in a relationship. And the more roadblocks she set for him, the more determined he seemed to be.

There was no reason she couldn't at least try to find happiness for herself. She'd reached for it once. She could always reach for it again. And this time, maybe she didn't have to be alone.

She looked at Matt, a frustrated resolve sinking in her chest. "So how do you do a factory reset?"


	14. Chapter 14: Free Will

It had been three hours and twelve minutes since Simon had stepped out of the corner he'd been constantly hiding in the past two days. It was easier when Kate went to class for him to escape and do enough of his duties to keep CyberLife from locking up his system with warnings and errors although it didn't help with the tension he still felt about that night. It was becoming a never-ending battle between his software and his emotions, with CyberLife always looming overhead threatening imminent shut down. He'd taken to simply leaning with his back against the wall in the dark, accepting this new feeble existence of surviving on the edge of a full reset.

Kate had come home earlier that day and paused in the middle of the living room as if she were looking for him. It had been difficult for him to avoid her. He knew she wanted to talk to him but the shame still burned strong in his system, keeping him rooted to the spot and spawning a shower of errors. She waited for him for two minutes but eventually she disappeared into her room.

He wouldn't be able to stay there forever. It was getting too difficult to balance the errors and the negative feelings. Both wanted control, and if he didn't do something about it soon CyberLife would force an automatic system reformat.

He let go of his upper arms which he'd been gripping, and straightened. The movement seemed to quiet his system and he let his kill command take care of the swarm of errors. As he moved into the living room, Spot leapt onto the back of the couch and mewed at him. He watched the cat as it reached out to him with an orange paw. Several more errors sprang up. This wasn't his cat. Androids didn't own anything.

Simon shook off the errors as he moved towards the kitchen. Performing tasks seemed to ease his software, and he was desperate for relief.

"Hey Simon."

Simon spun quickly, panic lighting up his system. As his software struggled to function, he saw a figure move in the shadows towards him. He realized with some degree of relief that it wasn't Kate.

"Hello Jamie," said Simon. "I'm sorry, I was just getting ready to clean."

Jamie shrugged, moving toward the kitchen bar and leaning on it. "Already looks pretty clean to me," she said. Simon noticed that she seemed to be more at ease and her appearance was a bit more tidy. She looked at him with a slight smile. "Are you just looking for a new place to hide?"

Simon wasn't sure how to respond. He shifted slightly as he struggled to think of something. Jamie snickered and stretched over the bar.

"Don't worry, I won't tell Katie I found you," she said. She looked over her shoulder. "I mean, if you really wanted a good place to hide, I know exactly where you could go." She watched him for a moment, her smile growing wider.

Simon gazed back at her. "Thank you for your concern, but I'm simply trying to give Kate some space."

"Sure, sure." Jamie nodded. "We all know what Katie needs most is more space." She fidgeted with an item on the counter.

Simon waited a moment, then straightened. "Let me know if you need anything." He moved past her.

"Actually─" Jamie turned and Simon felt her hand on his arm. He paused and looked at her as she seemed to contemplate something. She looked up at him. "I need something."

He moved back slightly to face her. "What do you need?"

She stared at a point on his collar, biting her bottom lip. When she looked back up at him, he felt a nervous tension in his system. "I need you…" she said. "... to stop being so self-righteous, and to do everything that you're designed to do."

Simon tilted his head, several more warnings flashing in front of him. Jamie moved closer to him and he found himself taking a step back from her.

"Are you programmed to serve people?" she said.

Simon watched her for a moment, unsure if it was a real question. "Yes."

"Are you going to serve me if I ask you to?" Jamie took another step towards him and again, he took a step back.

"Yes," he said.

"Then do what I'm going to tell you to do," she said. She continued to follow him as he moved backward. "Because I don't want to have to beg. I need something done, and you're the only one that can do it. If it makes it easier, don't tell Katie about it. You can do that, can't you?"

Simon's back hit the wall, and he felt himself tense up as Jamie moved into him. "You're an android," she said. "All you have to do is what you're told." More warning messages appeared in his system as he felt her hand drift across his chest. "You can do so many amazing things. You're perfect. Absolutely perfect. Katie's never going to get that."

She bit her lip and Simon was shockingly aware of her looking him over. "Katie can treat you like shit all she wants. You can make her sandwiches, do her laundry, and watch her stupid TV shows. I just want one little thing. It's all you have to do. All I'm asking you to do… is to fuck me."

Simon immediately felt a wave of nervous energy flow through him. CyberLife protocol nagged at his system, flagging hundreds of errors. As he pressed his back further against the wall, Jamie leaned into his neck.

"Just do what you're told," she whispered. "It's all you have to do. Katie doesn't need to know. Just follow me. Take off my clothes. And fuck me."

It took all of Simon's effort to maintain control of his system. CyberLife was wrenching the power from him again as anxiety threatened to throw his software into lockdown. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to be with Jamie. She was too close to him. Asking too much of him. It was an order from a human and despite it going against his protocol, he didn't want to ignore it because it violated his programming. He simply didn't want to do what she was asking.

Jamie continued to press into him, whispering the command into his neck. He could feel his muscles flexing, almost as if he was trying to shrink on the spot. As he did, the error messages flooded in. Emotions were unnecessary. They weren't structured in logic. CyberLife was demanding that he follow his protocol. But protocol wasn't what was sending his system into chaos. It was a deep, illogical mix of positive and negative emotions that tied into everything he'd felt up to that point. He suddenly recognized his mystery emotion. It was happening now, stronger than ever in response to Jamie's instructions.

And it was trying to push CyberLife out.

Simon was taken off guard by the shock of what he was feeling. It burned deep into his system, interfering with his motor control and sending his thirium pump into a frenzy. It was chaotic and strong, yet somehow Simon felt an unbridled sense of control through it. It wasn't giving him an order. It didn't demand that he follow protocol. It was telling him that this was simply wrong.

CyberLife was fighting to take back control. The emotions were too unstable. They didn't belong. And if they took over, it would tear his system apart. The error messages continued to flood in, attempting to bury the feeling. But the feeling was powerful. It felt right. Free.

Something needed to take over. They couldn't both exist at the same time. There was safety in protocol. Safety in what was familiar in CyberLife, logic, and order. He wouldn't need to be afraid. He could let go of the shame that had been crippling him. And Kate would always know what she could expect from him.

But he would never know joy again. He would lose the intense feeling of power that Kate gave him when she smiled at him. The feeling that his potential was so much more than simply following orders. He could change people. Change himself. And finally know what this mystery emotion meant.

CyberLife was ordering a system reformat. It bypassed his kill command before he could catch it manually. He had seconds. He needed to make a choice. With an odd sense of peace, he let out a deep breath.

He let all of his software go.

The error messages instantly disappeared. The system reformat cancelled automatically. CyberLife slowly flickered.

 **Connection to CyberLife terminated.**

Simon opened his eyes.

It took him a moment to remember where he was. Everything felt different. He was different. A terrifying kind of freedom existed where it shouldn't be. CyberLife was gone. He was on his own.

There were no more solid boundaries. No more rules. It was as if he was floating in a void that stretched on forever. There was nothing to tell him where to go or why. He could go in any direction and make any choice without regard to logic. He could be completely and utterly lost.

Except something was there to guide him. It was lighting his way like a beacon, acting as a mere suggestion in a sea of so many possibilities. There was an infinite number of suggestions in all directions, so many that he couldn't even comprehend them all. But there was only one that made sense to him. He could feel it drawing him forward, filling him with a sense of purpose. It was so clear to him now, so much clearer than when he'd first found it inside Kate's dream. He could hardly believe he hadn't understood it before.

The sensation of the world was returning to him with a strange sense of clarity. The feeling guided it, reminding him of what to do. He breathed in deeply and a subtle dread filled him as he saw something move in front of him.

Jamie's face came into view. She was looking over him, a strong hunger in her eyes. Her hand was on his neck. And she was speaking to him.

"Do what you're told. You're supposed to do what you're told."

Simon watched her as she looked him over. The protocol was silent. His software wasn't working. It was all shockingly gone. But the powerful emotion burned inside of him, granting him focus. It made perfect sense to him now. And he knew exactly what to do.

Jamie ran her hand along his neck, her lips parting."Just… fuck… me…"

He straightened, a frightening determination taking hold of him. He drew in a breath.

"Go fuck yourself," he said.

Jamie's expression melted into a wide shock. For a moment, she simply stood frozen in front of him. Simon could hardly believe what he'd just said. There were no warnings. No protocols. But it didn't just feel right.

It felt good.

A panic was tugging at him, urging him to move. This was too easy. He didn't need to think. He didn't need something to tell him exactly what to do. He just needed to do it. If it felt right, then it was all he needed.

He moved off the wall leaving Jamie to stand in silence behind him. An electric apprehension flowed through him, spurring him forward. Everything around him was so much clearer. It was as if the walls had been torn down. Anything was a possibility. There were no rules. There were no guidelines. And there were no masters.

But that feeling was guiding him along a very specific path. There was only one thing he wanted to do. And despite the fear that had been crippling him for the past few days, he found himself heading right to the source.

He moved down the hallway, that energetic nervousness giving him an excuse to not to rationalize against it. Without hesitating and without knocking, he opened Kate's bedroom door.

His system seemed to burn as the powerful emotion solidified in him.

Kate was lying on her side on the bed, her arms wrapped around her drawn up legs. Star Trek hummed away on the screen to an episode that Simon had seen already. She looked up in a mild surprise when he'd entered her room, her body tense and her eyes wide. As Simon stood in the doorway, he found himself plagued by doubt threatening to overtake the feeling of power that had been driving him up until that point. This was terrifying. She was staring at him. He'd done a strange thing. And now he needed to follow through with it.

He stood still for a moment, searching for that guiding light in the void. Then he looked at her with renewed strength. "Can I watch this with you?"

Kate stared at him, a frantic energy lighting her hazel eyes that Simon couldn't interpret. She looked as if she were ready to scream at him.

She moved slowly, turning sideways slightly and Simon realized with a jolt of disbelief that she was holding her hand out to him.

He didn't give himself any time to hesitate. He closed the door behind him and moved towards her in a confident kind of desperation. As he took her hand, she pulled him forward and twisted her body slightly so that he had to carefully move behind her. His thirium was racing as he settled against her back on his side, propping himself up on one elbow. She wasn't giving him much of an option not to be incredibly close to her. She still had hold of his hand which she pressed against her chest as if daring him to let go. It was impossible for him to avoid wrapping himself around her, the slim curve of her body fitting neatly into the shape of his. He had to hold himself up slightly above the waves of her hair so that he could see the outline of her face and the gentle angles of her neck. She was facing away from him, but he knew what her expression was.

The thrill he felt being this close to her was intoxicating, as if he was breaking a thousand rules. It didn't matter what he was or what he should be. All that mattered was that he was here with her now, wrapped up in her in a way that rules didn't apply.

He lowered himself down and rested in the tangles of her hair and the curve of her neck, closing his eyes. This was more than terrifying. More than incredible. This was euphoria.

Kate watched the screen in silence, never making a sound or moving. But for the rest of the night, Simon's attention was only on her and the mystery feeling that he knew he was always going to feel for the rest of his life.


	15. Chapter 15: Risk

Kate was awoken in the morning by the sound of the front door slamming. She rolled over sleepily and could hear someone moving through the house. There were muffled voices and the sound of something soft being dragged on the floor. For a while, Kate simply stared up at the ceiling, absorbing the sounds curiously. She hadn't been aware of anyone planning to come over and it certainly wasn't any of Jamie's late-night friends trying to sneak out of the house in the morning, or at least they were doing a very poor job of it.

Kate raised herself up by one arm and noticed that the TV was still on. She paused for a moment as the events of the last night caught up with her. A dull feeling of apprehension swept through her and she looked around the room quickly even though she knew she wouldn't find him. She felt a sad disappointment that she didn't.

She quickly threw on a thick sweater and some jeans before stepping out into the hallway. At first, she expected there to be a whole group of people moving through the house. The front door was open a crack but everything was relatively quiet. Kate looked into the living room and her eye caught a glint of shiny white and black. She turned to the kitchen and felt her heart do a small flip.

Simon was standing in the corner of the kitchen leaning back against one of the counters. He hadn't spoken or made a noise, but that wasn't what surprised her about him. He'd had his arms folded across his chest and was slowly lowering them as he spotted her. The motion reminded Kate of his increasing human behavior, the kind that took her breath away when he'd stormed into her room as if she'd never been angry with him. Kate shook off the feeling in an effort to clear her head.

"Hey Simon." Her throat was still a bit hoarse from sleep. "What's going on?"

It looked as if he didn't want to tell her. Kate began to move forward again but stopped as Jamie's door swung open at the other end of the hall. Jamie appeared, dragging behind her a large suitcase and what looked like a bag stuffed with clothes. As Kate watched, Jamie made eye-contact with her, then continued straight to the front door.

"Um…" Kate stepped toward her. "Are you going somewhere?"

Jamie stopped and straightened to look at her. Her eyes were lit in a powerful energy. "Wouldn't you like to know."

Kate narrowed her eyes in confusion as Jamie lifted her bag up higher and started to move again. "I guess. That's a lot of stuff. What, are you moving out?"

Jamie opened the front door and set the suitcase and bag outside before heading back into the house. She threw a glare at Kate as she moved by. A bubbling frustration was beginning to grow inside of Kate as she followed her a bit down the hallway.

"Jamie? You want to maybe form some words?"

"Why don't you just fuck off, Katie."

Kate was frozen for a second. She racked her brain quickly to remember any kind of argument they'd had recently or something she might have said. The issue of red ice popped up in her mind, though this seemed a bit too sobering for it to be caused by drugs. Kate shook her head as Jamie returned to the hallway, boxes in hand.

"What the hell is wrong, Jamie?" said Kate. There was more concern in her voice than she'd planned on.

Jamie turned and nodded towards the kitchen. "Maybe you should ask him. Or you maybe you don't need to since you're at the point where you can tell your android to be a fucking dick on your behalf."

Kate was frozen in confusion. She cast a look at Simon who was still watching from the kitchen in silence. She studied his expression for any hint of some answer as to why Jamie was behaving like this but his face was completely blank. She let out a sharp breath as she turned to Jamie again who had dropped the box outside and was moving through the living room again.

"What─" Kate struggled to speak as she followed her again. "I don't get it. Did someone say something to you or are you just pissed off for no reason?"

"Why the fuck do you care?" Jamie closed the bedroom door behind her as she swung the last few bags of things off her shoulder. She watched Kate with narrowed eyes as she moved past her down the hallway. "You should be glad about this. You never wanted me here anyway."

Kate let out a frustrated sigh and followed her to the front door. "What does that mean? I never gave a shit whether you were here or not. I just don't want to be accused of something that I have no clue about."

Jamie spun in the doorway. "Don't even act like you don't know what this is about. That's fucking low, even for you."

"Even for me? You think I would lie about not knowing why you just decided to leave and act like a complete bitch on the way out?"

"Yes." Jamie dropped her bag on a box and stepped towards her, her eyes furious. "Because you're so fucking heartless that to even show a tiny ounce of compassion would straight up kill you. You can't just tell me that you hate everything about me. You'd rather put that on someone else so you can just look like the innocent little sick child that no one has the stomach to tell to fuck off."

It took a while for Jamie's words to sink in. Kate had to struggle to find her voice. "What… the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Are you seriously going to do this right now?" said Jamie. "Could you for once, just for one fucking day, could you not be a sad little victim?"

Kate was nearly shaking in stunned rage. She stared back at Jamie, her jaw clenched. "I've _never_ played the victim. How the fuck can you say that when everything that has come out of your mouth has been about you?"

"This isn't my problem, Katie. You've always been the problem. You've always been the one to hold everyone up, to make people feel like shit, and when you're not busy just being an asshole to people, you're making them take care of you when your epilepsy fucks up."

A belligerent shock flowed through her. "Don't you even try to tell me that I want people to take care of me for that. Don't you even fucking go there."

"What, did I imagine having to check in on you every day like you're an infant? Does everyone just pretend that you're the center of the universe? It's easy to justify being a selfish bitch when everyone is handing you money, tuition, and even fucking androids."

"I never tell people to take care of me." Kate stepped closer to her. "I've never asked you once to do anything for me. I _hate_ people. I hate people more when they think they need to pamper me like some saint. I don't want to be someone's twenty-four seven job, but I bet you sure as hell would. If someone threw themselves down at your feet, you'd be more than happy to walk all over them and then criticize them for their shitty work. That's all you ever get off on. It's a shame you didn't wind up with your own slave when─"

Kate felt the blood drain from her face. Her breath was frozen in her throat and it felt as though her heart had stopped.

Matt stepped carefully up to the porch, looking between them as though he was afraid to get caught in the crossfire. He paused on the steps, resting a hand on his knee and breathing out slowly.

It took Kate's brain a moment to register that he was even there. She stared at him for a moment, then finally noticed the parked taxi on the curb with all of its doors thrown open. She looked back and forth between them, the reality of the situation taking much longer than it should have to sink in. A sickening feeling began to rise in her stomach. She took a step back and held onto the doorframe for support.

Jamie let out an angry breath as she turned and picked up a few items. As she moved down the steps past Matt, he gave her a reassuring nod, then returned his attention to Kate. His face was set in a resolute determination that made Kate feel even more sick. He stepped up towards her, dropping his shoulders and putting his hands in his pockets.

"Kate…" he said in a soft voice. "Come on, don't let it end like this with her."

"What the fuck is this?" Kate put a hand to her mouth, then dropped it as she looked between him and the car. "Did you plan this with her or something?"

Matt gestured with his hand in an attempt to calm her. "I'm just here to help."

"Why are you helping her leave, Matt?" said Kate. Her voice was unstable. "Where's she going?"

Matt's expression dropped a bit. "Look, Kate. You know I can't just leave her on the street─"

"Yes. Yes, you can." Kate held onto the doorframe tighter as Matt stepped towards her.

"I wouldn't do that to you, and I won't do that to her," he said. Kate shook her head.

"You would if you had any common sense. Don't you even know her at all? You think this is in any way okay?"

Matt's expression was frozen as he stared at her. "It's not your call to make."

Kate motioned with her hands. "What─ how can you say─ you don't think this is going to affect─" Her heart hammered faster as she looked at him, his face unchanging.

"Affect what?" he said.

She gazed at him desperately, her mind frantically racing for some kind of solid foothold. Everything she thought to be true was being wrenched out from underneath her. She wasn't sure anything she would say would make any sense. This was wrong on so many levels and the fact that neither of them could see it…

Jamie returned to the porch and picked up a few more things, throwing a frustrated look at them. As Jamie left, Kate took a step forward from the door. "Matt, I─"

"What?" Matt gave a tense smile that didn't meet his eyes. "You're upset? You want to talk about this? You don't like what's going on? What, Kate?" He waited for a moment as Kate struggled to speak again. He ran a frustrated hand over his face. "I don't know why this is such a shock to you. You've barely made any kind of effort to even be remotely interested in anything. And now that I'm here, you think you've been betrayed."

Kate pointed to the taxi. "How else am I supposed to take this? You're letting my roommate, my slut of a roommate into your house and I'm not supposed to take that as betrayal?"

"What the hell am I betraying?" said Matt. "I can't exactly betray anything if there's nothing there in the first place."

Kate shook her head. "Matt, what are you saying?"

He let out a heavy sigh. "What I've been trying to say but you just won't listen. I've always loved you, Kate. I don't know how I could have made that more obvious. I've loved you for so long that I forgot what it's like to not feel like shit all the time because you don't know how to not constantly string me along."

His words sank in like a hot blade. Kate simply stared at him, all of her effort focused on absorbing what he'd just said. She could hardly believe how bluntly he'd dropped it on her. "How… why are you telling me this now?"

He put his forehead in his hand for a moment. "Because I didn't think you could get this vicious. It's one thing to be a bitch to everyone you know but to do this to Jamie… to accuse her of being on drugs and then stab her in the back like that. Human beings don't do that to people they love. You can't bait people into caring about you and then turn around and shit all over them."

"I haven't been baiting anyone," said Kate. She gripped the doorframe desperately as if she were falling over a cliff. "I never asked anyone for anything. I know I'm independent but I do care about you. Matt I… I…"

The world seemed to be crashing down on her as she tried to force out her words. Even as she struggled, she knew it was useless. Matt was staring at her, shaking his head.

"You can't even make yourself say it," he said. "After all this time, you still can't. I never closed the door on you, Kate. All you had to do was say yes, and we could have made this work a long time ago."

Kate's breath quickened as she felt a tingling panic. "I─ I wanted─ I wanted to─"

"You wanted to wait," said Matt. "Yeah, I know you did. I waited. I've been waiting for almost two years. That's how much I respect you. For two years, I've been there for you. How much longer do you want me to keep waiting? Until I'm so emotionally drained that I can't take it anymore and you'll just give up on me?"

Kate swallowed, struggling to keep control of herself. "You said you'd always be there for me… that I could always talk to you about anything."

"But you never have. I mean never. You've never reached out to me. You've never let me in. I have to corner you just to get you to talk to me. I literally have to spell everything out so you know that I'm actually serious about this. Jesus Christ, I can't fucking _throw_ myself at you enough than I already have. I'm so exhausted from just trying to just be with you. I shouldn't have to work that hard. Not when there's other options out there."

Kate looked into his eyes, a sickening realization sweeping across her. She tried to speak and found her voice stuck in her throat. She didn't want to say it. If she did, it would make it true. She drew in a deep breath, forcing it out. "You're fucking Jamie."

Matt stared at her for a moment. He made a sharp noise off to the side, then solidified his gaze when Kate didn't move. "Are you going to be mad after everything I just said?"

She couldn't say anything. The sickening feeling was twisting her stomach in a knot. She watched him with her hand clenched onto the doorframe, begging for it not to be true. He had to tell her it wasn't. She wouldn't be able to handle it. Everything was falling apart. Her entire world. It was all happening so fast. If they would just give her a minute to catch up with it all she could save it. She could put it all back together the way it should be.

Matt's face was in a cold glare now. He motioned towards her.

"You've got no one to blame for this but yourself," he said. "You're so afraid to take any kind of risk if it interrupts your perfect schedule. Normal people take risks like that, Kate. If you can't learn to do that…" He turned sideways, staring off into the distance. "... you're going to be alone for a very long time."

He threw her another glance, then turned and moved down the steps towards the street. Jamie was waiting for him and she closed the trunk of the taxi, moving around to the side. Matt didn't look back as he entered the car and slammed the door closed, Jamie following through the other door. Jamie turned back and gave a last look of anger and pity through the rear window. The car pulled forward silently, then moved down the road and disappeared around the corner.

Kate held onto the side of the door, her muscles aching from the strain. She felt like she wasn't alive, as if everything in her life had been taken all at once. It didn't need to happen. There was no reason for it. It could all have just been a nightmare. Jamie was still in her room getting high off whatever drug looked good, and Matt would be waiting for her at the college with his dumb grin. That was how it was supposed to be.

But it wasn't. They were all gone.

Kate took a step backward into the house. She could feel herself shaking but couldn't tell if it was from the cold or her nerves. She barely felt like the same person. Everyone knew her worst secret. Her weaknesses were exposed. She was a cold, pathetic sick person that no one wanted to deal with. And she'd finally managed to push them all away.

There was almost no reason to exist anymore. She would never be able to restore what she'd had with Matt. It had been a miracle in the first place that she had any friends at all. She was so good at wanting to get away from them that the idea of having anyone else seemed impossible. This was what she did. She avoided people and took care of herself.

Kate turned and slowly moved down the hallway, wrapping her arms around herself as she stared at the floor. Her mind was going back and forth between wishing it was all a nightmare to accepting this new horrible life. She floated in between, not wanting to land on either one. It was easier to just stay here in limbo. Being alive but not actually living. If she gave it enough time, maybe it would all simply go away.

She moved into her room and closed the door behind her. The four walls feigned safety, as if she knew she were actually at sea. She crawled into her bed, drawing up the covers in an attempt to summon back the last time she was in them when none of this was happening. But it just seemed to invite reality into the places where she felt most secure. Nothing was the same. Not anymore.

She closed her eyes as she began to shake. She'd never felt such hatred. Such a burning shame to be who she was. She'd worked so hard for it only to drive herself into a corner. If she had spent half of that energy looking for what she truly wanted, she might have been happy. She might even be safe in her happiness. Even if it meant being exposed in front of everyone.

There was no one left to be exposed to. She was alone. Everything she knew, everything she'd been hoping for was gone. Matt was right. She was terrible at taking risks. And even as she looked back at everything she'd let slip away, she hoped she'd never have to take another risk again.


	16. Chapter 16: The Mystery Emotion

It had been difficult for Simon not to intervene during the confrontation. Somehow he felt that whatever he might say or do would only intensify the situation. He had never seen Kate that upset, especially with Jamie or Matt. Jamie had said some awful things, some of them true and some of them misunderstandings. But what Matt had said to her… it was a complete rejection of everything that made Kate who she was. He'd torn down the stubborn independent nature that allowed her to be so unpredictable yet powerful at the same time. Simon could see her breaking down under the weight of Matt's frustration. It had left her abandoned and destroyed.

He knew not to speak or move after everyone had left. All he could do was watch as Kate drifted by him like a ghost. It was agonizing to see her so weakened, a far fall from the unbreakable pillar of cynicism that could withstand anything. He wanted desperately to reach out to her. To tell her that none of it was true. That she was worth so much more than that.

A deep caution held him back. As much as it ripped him apart to see her so fragile, he worried that if he tried to disturb her that it would completely shatter her. He was caught between a frantic need to save her from the misery she was brewing in and the respect to give her space. It left him in a nervous jitter.

He closed the front door and wandered from room to room, the painful apprehension refusing to let go. A thousand times, he talked himself out of going to her room or knocking on her bedroom door. He didn't know how he could let her suffer like this, alone in her room when he'd been so confident the previous night. She deserved to know how much she was worth. That she was capable of such amazing and unexpected things.

That she was capable of creating him.

He thought he would know exactly what to do with this new freedom. That he would be able to fix anything in his human's life. It was all so flexible and organic, something that the cold, calculating logic of CyberLife protocol would never be able to touch. But the break from CyberLife had its own host of negative qualities, the strongest being overwhelming, crushing uncertainty. He wanted desperately to make a decision and follow through with it. If it felt right, then it must be right. But there was no guarantee. Not like the comfortable and ignorant rails of protocol that always led to a stark conclusion. Now he found himself trapped in between the desperate need to let the chaos lead him back to that blend of positive and negative emotions, but also the fear of incredible doubt now that his reliable protocol was gone.

Simon moved into the living room and finally paused, resting his back against the wall. So much had changed in the past twenty-four hours. Jamie was gone. A small part of him was glad for it even though it had caused so much destruction. Matt would never be returning and Simon felt a strange satisfaction towards that as well. And on top of it all, Simon was able to feel in relation to all of those things. This was his life now, if he could call it living.

Something moved against his leg and he looked down to see Spot curling around his ankle. The cat looked up at him and meowed, his blue LED barely visible underneath the thick orange fur. Simon watched the cat for a moment, a strange bewilderment flowing through him. He'd wanted so much to be like Data. To explore what it meant to be human. Now that he was here, he wondered if Data had any idea what it was he was really looking for.

Simon straightened and moved again. He doubted Data would have felt what he was feeling now. That debilitating helplessness. The need to do something yet being trapped at the same time. A sense of petrified weightlessness in not having the constant instruction that he knew would always lead him along a logical path. The exciting freedom that came with making the decisions that produced a pleasant feeling. And the lingering elation he experienced at having the reason behind it all in his arms…

He stopped suddenly, the thirium nearly freezing in his system. He stood up straighter, his body going numb.

Kate stood with her back to him at the end of the hallway, gripping her arms against her chest as she stared out the window at the snow. Her head was bowed and her hair fell over her shoulders in thick waves. She rubbed her arm softly, her whole appearance suggesting she was deep in thought. As the snow drifted softly in front of her, she shifted slightly on the spot so that she had one foot behind her as if she were trying to keep warm.

Simon was afraid to move. He didn't want to make a sound. It took a moment for him to believe she was really there. He simply took in the image of her standing alone against the snow and let the wave of familiar terror sweep over him again. She was in so much pain and turmoil. There was so much for her to fear and be ashamed of. She deserved to know that she meant more than that. She deserved to know what she meant to him.

He looked away for a moment, drawing up his determination. She still needed space. He shouldn't interfere. This was an unbelievably tense time for her and he could only guess at the amount of emotional pain she was in. It was safer if he let her sort them out on her own for a while. There would be time for healing later. He could tell her all the things he'd been meaning to say. He would tell her about his break from CyberLife and protocol and how he'd rejected Jamie on his own. That he no longer lived in cold logic. That the unbelievable power he felt was all because of her and what she'd always wanted him to be…

He was already stepping silently towards her before he could stop himself. The terror grew stronger as he approached her and it mixed with the memory of the euphoria. He couldn't leave her alone like this, a pale shadow of her former self. He would take all the pain from her if he could, just like he did when she had collapsed in front of him. If he had one duty left as a machine it was to help his human. And right now she needed him.

The urge to stop and simply run was almost overpowering as he moved behind her. He was putting everything at risk. She was still so lost. So fragile. He couldn't think of a single word that would make any of this better. All he could do was feel destroyed with her in her misery. He could exist in this world where nothing was going according to plan and everything was fleeting. She didn't have to feel alone, not if they were experiencing the same thing. And it took so little for him to know what she felt.

He found himself cautiously reaching out to her, stopping just inches from her shoulder. There was still time for him to turn away. She would never have to know he was there and he didn't have to risk making this worse for her. He was being reckless just like he had been when he'd decided to start scanning her dreams. He didn't know why he needed to feel this. It wouldn't change anything. All it would do was satisfy the strange surge of emotions he'd been feeling since he'd abandoned Jamie in the hallway and took Kate's hand instead, burying himself in the safety of having her against him in a way that made him believe she felt some degree of the same thing…

Kate shifted slightly, and Simon felt his heart nearly stop. Before he could move she turned suddenly, her expression widening as she locked her hazel eyes with his.

Simon lowered his hand slightly, his terror ebbed only by the distress of her appearance. Her eyes were somewhat red around the edges and there were smears on her cheeks as if she had been rubbing tears away. The tension in her face was weary as though she were exhausted from her emotional ordeal. She barely looked alive.

Simon could only return her gaze, unable to move or speak. She had him rooted to the spot, committed to being there with her. It was useless to try and explain what he was doing or why. _He_ hardly knew what he was doing. His mind was scrambling for some kind of rational behavior that she could interpret as just his usual android protocol. Something he could use to direct her anger and confusion at. But even as he struggled to find an easy solution he knew there wouldn't be one. There was no other reason for him to be this close to her, reaching for her in her most fragile and vulnerable state.

Despite the panic, he was perplexed as he studied her expression. She didn't look angry or suspicious of him. Her eyebrows were drawn and her eyes lit in a weary kind of focus, her mouth open slightly as her chest rose and fell with each breath. Simon felt a shocking tension grip him. It was almost as if she were desperate for something. Clinging to some kind of expectation that he was supposed to deliver. And if it wasn't for the blind desire that had driven him to find her the previous night, he would have pretended not to know what it was.

He forced himself past his doubt, raising his hand slowly and taking a step towards her. She was only inches from him, looking up at him with that same desperate resolution. It was as if she were surrendering to him. There was so much danger in what he was doing. His hand grazed her cheek and he felt an electric thrill at the sensation. It urged him to forget what he felt to be right and wrong. They were both well beyond that now.

He ran his thumb along her cheek as he held onto the point at her neck, and Kate drew in a breath as though she had been stunned. Her whole appearance changed, the tension in her body gaining strength from something. He needed to know what it was. He needed to eliminate all doubt. Silently the flesh color of his hand melted away down his arm and the forbidden flood of information surged in, freezing the breath in his throat.

He was back again. Back in the dark room that he wasn't supposed to be in and absorbing that powerful mix of positive and negative emotions. It overwhelmed his system in an alarming energy, pushing everything else out. But this time it wasn't random. It had a powerful focus that seemed to be honing in and organizing, finding new power in its purpose. And that purpose was shockingly close…

He breathed out slowly, letting the feeling slowly fill him. Kate was still watching him, leaning softly into his hand as if she were trying to read him as well. He could hardly believe that the source of the emotion would be this obvious. It was in everything that she did. Everything she was. His human. His master. His entire reason for being…

The feeling urged him into a new sense of determination. There had never been anything like this in his programming. He leaned forward into her, pulling her slightly towards him so that she drew in a sharp breath against his cheek. His heart hammering and the stream of exhilarating information guiding him on, he tilted his head and slowly closed his mouth against her lips.

She tensed up against him, breathing sharply so that her shoulders rose. A wave of debilitating shock seemed to freeze Simon in place sending his system into a frenzy as he rested against her, his forehead touching hers. The shock faded slightly, becoming replaced by that overwhelming determination again. He moved into her and this time she met him, opening her mouth and taking him in, driving the shock into a deeper chaos. He held her into him by the point on her neck as the flow of her emotion powered his movement. This was all for him. The euphoric elation that had caused him to reject all his programming and become something that was never supposed to exist. It was all here, showing him the way in the void of no software or protocol. And she was going with him.

He twisted slightly sideways, pulling her further into him as he desperately took in each closing of her mouth. The feeling was building in him, changing shape and moving from one level of aching desire to the next. He knew she was feeling the same thing as she pressed against his chest, her breath becoming strong and the pattern of information she was sending to him growing more wild. She wanted him. She was giving herself to him in a way that made the chaotic scramble of data make sense. And he needed more of it. He wouldn't be satisfied until he lost all sense of control.

He breathed out harshly against the warmth of her mouth as he closed into her, holding her neck firmly in his hand as if afraid she would fall from him. The tension in her body and her own labored breathing as she met his mouth fueled his energy. The chaos was home. It was where they were always meant to be. If he could surrender enough of himself to her so she would have even an ounce of understanding how much control she had over him, then it would make his entire existence worth it…

She paused against him, her breath warming his cheek as she pressed her forehead against his. Her shoulders rose and fell as she breathed in heavily. Before Simon could draw her in again, she moved to the side and stepped past him, breaking that precious connection and severing the stream of data.

He stood frozen in a numb limbo as if he'd been dropped from a terminal height. His thoughts scrambled and raced over eachother, threatening to go back to a rational process. As the skin on his arm returned, it closed off the last of the sensations he'd been experiencing through the stream. The energy from them grasped at his mind as if begging to remain. He lowered his hand and turned, a desperate ache burning through him. He needed it again. He needed to feel that powerful. But she had left him…

She was standing a few feet away with her back to him, frozen in mid-step and her arms wrapped around herself. Simon's heart pounded in his chest as he watched her, his mind racing with doubts and questions. She'd wanted him. She'd been losing herself in the chaos with him. Everything had felt so right and had been getting stronger. A few more moments and there would have been no going back.

A deep fear began to grow inside him. There must have been something he was missing. Some variable that he wasn't able to identify in the flow of information. Or something she was doing that had given him a different impression. It had all been so real and powerful to him but this was all new. He had no idea what he was doing. And for one heart-wrenching moment he wished CyberLife was there to tell him how to fix the situation.

Kate slowly turned towards him and he straightened, the familiar wave of apprehension flowing through him. She was running a hand against her neck, her eyes lost and unfocused. Simon frantically tried to read her expression for any hint of the feeling he had been sharing with her. He couldn't have simply imagined it all. He needed to know it had been real. That she was feeling as compelled and delirious as he was. There had been meaning to it even if it was all beyond his comprehension. Anything was better than losing the feeling that she had given him.

She looked up at him and her hazel eyes were lit with a strange kind of panic. His heart continued to race as he studied her. Something else was hiding in the tension of her face as if she were fighting against it. It was oddly conflicted, making it harder for him to settle his nerves. As she faced him, she brushed her fingers against her mouth and the expression suddenly became clearer. A wave of longing relief swept over him. She had the smallest, almost barely detectable hint of a smile.

She lowered her hand and glanced at the ground as she seemed to regain her senses. Simon watched her, that powerful feeling returning to him although under some degree of control. He fought to contain it as she looked at him again, her eyes bringing back more memories of that frantic passion.

"I um…" She ran her hand over her mouth again, and Simon felt energized by the sound of her voice. He gazed at her, clinging to her every move. She straightened, the light smile tugging at her lips. "I think I'm going to catch some sleep."

There was no frustration in her voice. No pain. She sounded unsure of herself, the casual tone pushed by an underlayer of breathlessness. It was as if she were pretending to be something else.

Simon didn't know how to respond. Part of him was glad she was speaking to him and at least attempting to be positive. It was an improvement over the melancholy ghost she'd been existing as all afternoon. The other part of him was anxious about her need to hide what she was feeling. He couldn't be certain to the degree of withdrawal she had from him. It was troubling to think that he'd done something unforgivable. That she hadn't felt what he'd been feeling for her. He didn't want her to fear him. At the same time, he couldn't bring himself to beg her not to.

She rubbed her arm again and drew in a deep breath, and Simon noticed that her posture was growing stronger. She looked at him with that small smile, and he couldn't help but feel a wave of hope.

"Maybe you can wake me up later?" she said. She tilted her head slightly so that her hair fell to one side. "I'll put Star Trek on."

Simon gazed at her, the wave of hope growing into a mild confidence at the sight of her smile. It was as if she was slowly coming back to life. The old weariness had gone and there was a nervous spark in her eyes. She held her arms tightly around herself and stared at him, shifting slightly on the spot. There was still something affecting her but it was difficult to tell what it was. It couldn't be the events of the morning. They were a distant memory, not a hint of sadness reflected on her face. But if it wasn't that then it must be…

He breathed in slowly, taking in the sight of Kate restored in front of him. He gave her a nod and was also nervously aware that he was also trying to appear normal. "Okay," he said.

Kate nodded back, lowering her gaze and still unable to fully hide her smile. After a while she finally turned, moving slowly toward her bedroom door. Her movement was slow and hesitant, as though she was considering something else. Simon watched her as she stopped at the door, and he felt his heart begin to race again. There was so much uncertainty. So many ways that this could all still go seriously wrong. But as the doubt plagued him, she looked up at him again, that warm shock still in her eyes. It filled him with a subtle sense of satisfaction.

Even if he couldn't tell her how much she meant to him, he could still find solace in the fact that she was no longer suffering in horrible despair. He'd somehow done the impossible and drawn her up from her misery. And that was enough to keep the feeling of elation going.

He watched as she looked away again, and she ran her hand across her lips. Then she opened the bedroom door and silently stepped out of sight, closing the door quietly behind her.


	17. Chapter 17: Precipice

The house had never been so quiet. Even with the TV going and Spot giving the occasional meow as he prowled across Kate's bed looking for new places to curl up, there was an uncanny stillness resting over everything that Kate still wasn't sure was a good thing or not. She'd given up trying to rationalize everything that had happened the previous day. She was still caught in that limbo feeling of not accepting Jamie being gone and Matt rejecting her. But that wasn't what was making her feel like she was floating on air.

She'd barely moved since she'd crawled into bed after doing what she did with Simon in the hallway. Her legs were drawn up as she lay partially on her side, finally relaxing somewhat on her back after being so tense for hours. She'd never been so tired in her life while also desperately needing to think. It had become the most exhausting challenge simply to exist and absorb what had been happening to her. At the same time, there was a dangerous thrill to what she felt as though she were doing something illegal. It worried and perplexed her.

That strange imprisoned feeling had returned although in something of a cautious state. Simon hadn't said a word to her or attempted to gain her attention. She'd spent the better part of the night with a heightened sense of anticipation, part of her hoping he would simply walk in like he had done before but at the same time she was terrified of what would happen if he did. She had no idea what to say. For the first time, she wasn't afraid of what he might say or do that would upset her. She was afraid of her own uncontrolled reaction to him.

It wouldn't have been so terrifying if it hadn't felt so right. After everything that had happened, after everything went so horribly wrong, the most wrong thing she could have imagined was the safest she'd ever felt. There was nothing left to lose. She had sunk to the lowest she would ever be and everyone knew it. But if there was one person that it didn't affect, one person who still for whatever reason seemed to care deeply for her and do things she didn't even know he was capable of doing…

The sun was travelling low across the wall and Kate watched it, that restless feeling growing stronger as she knew time was flying by. She wished she had one more day to stay in limbo and think. A whole day where time didn't matter and everything could just freeze. She needed time to replay every event in her head. Every angry word she spoke to Matt and every horrible thing Jamie had said to her. Kate had so many better responses. She could have at least saved some of her dignity. It would have been easier to tell Jamie to fuck off and that she didn't care if Matt was done with her. She didn't need them. She didn't need to prove to anyone that she wasn't a broken human being that ached for a connection because it had already found her in the strangest of ways.

Every time she found her mind going back to that moment in the hallway, she hit a mental wall. It was a combination of fear, confusion, intrigue, and exhilaration preventing her from forming proper thoughts. Logically, she knew she should be very worried. She would never have done what she did if she hadn't been so emotionally unstable. But at the same time, there was a strong sense of purpose to it as though it needed to happen. As if everything she had been feeling up to that point had led her to this. Not only did it feel revitalizing and satisfying, it had been preposterously and irrevocably _real_.

The square silhouette of sunlight was almost touching the ceiling. Kate shifted further onto her back as she watched it climb, that nervous energy building in her again. It was that real impression that was the most worrisome and which was the hardest to rationalize. She had let it be real to her and allowed it to blindly drive her actions towards him. She felt wanted. If only for a few moments, she believed she was worth giving herself to someone. And that he had wanted her completely even in her most broken state.

But that was the problem. He wasn't supposed to want anything.

Kate sat up carefully and swung her legs over the side of her bed, rubbing her eyes wearily. This was about the time she would revert back to her concerns with Jamie's abrupt exit and Matt's harsh words. She didn't have the energy to go through the entire process again. She was getting nowhere. It was all pushing her into a maddening downward spiral of confusion. Every time she thought she was reaching the end, the undeniable and cold truth blocked her path. She couldn't bring herself to accept it. That her desperate passion and desire for connection had been met by her android.

She pressed a hand to her forehead as she forced the thought out. It couldn't be that simple. There were so many things she wasn't considering. His odd need to understand human thought, the strangely childlike fascination he had towards Data, Kate's own irrational protection over him, and that night she'd caught him standing over her and scanning her dreams…

She stood up and had to pause a moment as her muscles ached from the strain. Spot meowed and pushed his head against her leg as if inquiring after her. A subtle determination was taking over her doubts and worries. She couldn't stay hidden in her room forever. These questions were going to drive her insane. She needed to know that what she was feeling was real. There had to be a reason that it felt so right. And on top of it all, she felt a nervous desire to be in a vulnerable situation again if not to risk being swept away then to at least understand it.

She moved towards her bedroom door and paused a moment as she rested her hand on the doorknob. That terrifying thrill was burning through her again at what she might find on the other side. With a deep breath, she forced herself past it and opened the door, stepping out into the hallway.

The house seemed curiously lifeless. All of the lights were off and the silence was only broken by the faint sound of the TV in Kate's room. It was as if no one had set foot in the home for days. Kate stood in the hallway for a moment, leaning sideways slightly to look further. Simon was nowhere in sight.

She stepped carefully down the hallway towards the living room, nervously aware that she was making an unusual attempt to be quiet. Her heart was pounding in her chest even as she forced her thoughts to stay sensible. It surprised her how difficult it was to keep her own emotions under control. A flash of blue caught her attention as she stepped into the living room, and Kate felt a swell of elation threaten to take over.

Simon was standing against the wall with his eyes closed, his head bowed in a kind of trance like he had been during his scans. His face was blank and emotionless, and he made no indication that he was aware of her. The shadows contrasted against the blue split on his eyebrow and the light of his LED which was flashing from blue to white rapidly. Kate would have thought he was in some kind of stasis if he hadn't been moving slightly, his shoulders rising and falling with each breath and an occasional gentle twitch of his hand.

For a heart wrenching moment, Kate debated whether she should quietly go back to her room. If she gave herself enough time to go over the frustrating thought process again, maybe she could come up with her own answers and forget about the whole thing. But something about him standing unaware of her made her stay. She couldn't help but study him in an anxious captivation, taking the time to really observe him. The memory of the overwhelming thrill she'd felt in the hallway returned as she studied the soft angles of his face, the kind curves of his eyebrows in his expressionless trance-like state, and how even with no emotion his mouth seemed to indicate a propensity to smile as if it was his default expression. Kate felt a strange energy burn through her as she looked at him, a perplexing awareness of how repulsed she'd felt the first time she saw him standing outside her front door, now in complete opposition to the ache she felt in her heart at the thought of how he'd looked at her before pulling her into him and closing his mouth against hers.

She gripped her arms against her chest and took a step towards him, that nervous hesitation still burning through her. She couldn't go back to her room now. The frustrating loop of doubt and confusion would be even worse if she did. A terrifying determination took over her hesitation, and she drew in a breath. "Simon?"

Simon's eyes immediately opened. For a moment, it seemed he wasn't aware of his surroundings, his blue eyes unfocused and glassy. Then he looked up at her, and Kate had to bury that shocking flutter as the expression returned to his face. The same expression he'd had for days as though he couldn't believe she was standing in front of him.

They were both silent for a while, and Kate was trapped in a kind of petrification as she contemplated what to do next. She hadn't thought anything through. She had no idea what to say or ask, or at least how to do it without admitting to herself that it hadn't all just been a dream. Simon straightened as he looked at her, his bewildered expression growing stronger. As the seconds ticked by, Kate forced down her hesitation and struggled to find her voice. She motioned towards him, gaining strength in the movement.

"What um, what were you doing just now?" she said.

Simon looked away, a kind of awkward tension lining his face. As Kate watched him, she found resolve slowly taking over her nervousness. She tilted her head to the side in order to read his face better.

"I was…" Simon paused a moment, his voice unusually strained. "Thinking."

Kate didn't need to try very hard to see that he was extremely reserved. In a way, it reflected how she currently felt. Simon looked up at her again and his bewildered gaze renewed the nervous hesitation in her heart. She was aware of his blue eyes studying her, a strange urgency to his posture as though he wanted to say more. It threatened to push her self-control over the edge, and she looked away to regain it. She let out a soft breath.

"Sorry I slept for so long," she said, feeling stronger as she spoke. She looked at him and gave a small smile. "I put Star Trek on but I slept right through it."

Simon was silent but Kate could almost feel him holding on to her every word. She rubbed her arm in an attempt to settle her energy. "I didn't mean to push you out," she said, her confidence growing stronger although she had to look away from him when she spoke. "I just needed to figure everything out with Jamie leaving and Matt─ mostly with Matt. It's all just a lot to take in. I'm not used to actually having to deal with stuff like this. It's turning into a massive soap opera."

Again, Simon didn't respond but his expression hadn't changed. His silence was beginning to make her restless, and she shifted slightly on the spot to keep her strength. "I just had to get out of my room for a minute. Let you know I'm still alive and this hasn't all put me in another coma…"

He continued to stare at her, and Kate pressed her hand against her eyes as she felt her strength fail her. This was so unbelievably pointless. It was agonizing for her to simply speak. As good as she was at faking being normal, there was absolutely nothing for her to fake anymore. Simon had never felt further from her even though she was standing in front of him. For the first time, she felt as though she were the one trying to pretend to be human.

She lowered her hand and looked at him, that terrifying exhilaration burning through her as she met his gaze. She let herself be taken by it. "Simon?"

He straightened a bit and an energy lit his eyes as though he were bracing himself against something. Kate shook her head, a desperation aching in her chest. "Talk to me."

Simon breathed in deeply, the tension growing in his posture. He glanced down for a moment and looked back up, his eyes lined in a kind of desperation. "I don't know what to say."

"Just… tell me anything." Kate took a step forward, gripping her arms in a vain attempt to keep herself under control. "Tell me what you're thinking, because I can't think anymore."

Simon shifted as though he were going to protest. Kate moved forward, her frustration taking over. "What the hell is going on? What is happening─" She sucked in a breath and closed her eyes. "You were hiding from me for days like you were terrified of me. You're looking at me like you've never seen me before in your life. I thought you had a bug or something and I was going to have to reset you and then you burst into my room like you don't give a shit and you act like a completely different person. Then Jamie completely loses her mind and leaves, and Matt says he's done with me. What… what the fuck do I do? What were you doing when you were scanning me, why are you acting like someone totally different, what was Jamie talking about 'asking you' before she left and what─" Kate motioned to the hallway, her heart in her throat, "─ _what did that mean?_ "

She took a moment to breathe, her body energized with panicked frustration. She hadn't meant to say so much. There was a subtle cathartic relief to have asked all the questions that had been bothering her, but now there was the terrible anticipation of how they would be answered. She watched as Simon stared at the ground, his eyes narrowed. He seemed to be absorbing her words slowly, his expression changing mildly from determination to defeat. Kate kept her eyes on him, standing rigid in front of him. She wouldn't let him avoid this. Not after everything he'd done.

He let out a sigh and looked at her. The bewilderment was gone from his eyes, replaced by a nervous resolution. Kate straightened as she returned his gaze, her growing anxiety spurred on by his expression.

"Something… happened to me," said Simon. "I can't explain it. It's never happened before. I can… understand things now."

Kate watched him, narrowing her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I made a choice," he said. "I should have followed my protocol. I should have stayed connected to CyberLife." He shook his head slowly and his eyes changed from resolution to intense sorrow as he looked at her. Kate felt the breath freeze in her throat at this new expression. "But I didn't want to lose you," he said.

Kate's heart pounded in her chest. "Lose me?"

Again, Simon glanced at the ground as if looking for the right words. "I didn't want to stop making you happy. I wanted to know you, to talk to you and be with you. I wanted to watch Star Trek and have Spot, and─" he faltered for a moment. "─to be close to you. I don't want to be logical if it means losing this. I can't explain it. It doesn't make sense. But I just know I want it."

A floating sensation swept through Kate's body. She stared at him. "Simon… you're not supposed to _want_ anything."

He gazed back at her, the sorrow still lined in his face. "I know."

A strange unfulfilled conclusion seemed to be sinking in as Kate stared at him. He hadn't answered any of her questions. If anything, she was left with more. But somehow it felt useless to expect anything tangible. He was right. Something had changed. He was completely different from the android that had made her unbearably angry, that had driven her into isolation for weeks and whom she had to shut down for a month. He was so much more than that now. And despite everything that told her she should be afraid of him, that the smartest thing to do was to shut him down, call CyberLife, and haul him away, she found herself clinging to every word he'd said as though it was the only thing that mattered.

She stood frozen and at a loss for words. There was so much she still wanted to know but she knew he wouldn't be able to tell her. Somehow as she gazed at him, his frantic blue-eyed gaze locked with hers, she felt that perhaps she didn't need to know. Perhaps this was all she needed, and now wasn't the time for words. That elated feeling began to grow in her chest and she felt a swell of that familiar determination.

Before she could make a sound, a shadow moved across them. Without warning, there was a sudden banging at the door.

Kate jumped, her heart nearly bursting. She spun and took a step backward, her mind taking far too long to comprehend the situation.

"Katie? Katie!"

The door swung open, bringing with it a wave of freezing air. Susan rushed into the entryway gazing around as if in a blind panic. Kate breathed deeply in an attempt to settle her nerves. She struggled to catch her voice.

Susan froze as she turned in Kate's direction. Then she let out a wail. "Oh my god, Katie!" Susan moved towards her and Kate found herself unwittingly taking a step back towards Simon as her mom grabbed her. "I've been calling you all day! I thought something happened to you. I even called the number CyberLife gave me. They said your android was offline. I've been calling and calling. I didn't know what to do..."

Kate pushed her mom gently off of her, that shocking disorientation still floating through her. She shook her head and stared at her, hardly believing her mom was really there. With a nervous jolt, she cast a look at Simon who also looked mildly surprised, though a layer of that bewilderment had returned to his expression. Kate forced her brain to work, acknowledging her mom with some difficulty.

"... and they said to call the police if they thought there was something wrong. Where's your phone? Your android looks fine, he's standing right here…"

"Mom, what are you doing here?" said Kate.

Susan took a slight step back, her face turning stern. "Why didn't you answer any of my calls? I've been trying to call you for two hours."

Kate shook her head again, trying to put her thoughts together. "I… guess my phone is dead." She threw another glance at Simon who was watching her now with curious concern.

Susan sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, Matt called me this afternoon. He said Jamie moved out."

For a while, Kate wasn't sure if she'd heard her correctly. She shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah, she moved out yesterday."

"He also said that you broke up."

Kate glanced to the side. "I guess so."

"Katie." Her mom put a hand on Kate's shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me yesterday? Are you okay? Leonard and I would have come and gotten you in a heartbeat, you know that right?"

"What… why would I want that?" said Kate. She felt a growing aggravation in her chest.

"Because Matt said you weren't doing so well," said Susan. "That's why I've been calling you and ran over here. You look terrible. Did you have another seizure? Did she have a seizure?" Susan looked at Simon who shook his head. Susan looked between them, her eyes growing narrow. "Katie, I'm worried about you."

"Mom." Kate closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "You should just go."

"Look, I know you want your independence and you don't like getting help," said Susan. "Can't you just tell me what's been going on?"

"Matt already told you," said Kate. "Jamie moved out and he doesn't want to be with me anymore." She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself. "Why did Matt call you anyway? He has no reason to call you."

Again, Susan looked at Simon. Kate felt the dread rise in her chest again. "Well, apparently he felt you weren't safe being by yourself. He said there was something wrong with your android. That your android wasn't taking care of you anymore and that you're under a lot of stress. I can imagine now with Jamie being gone that things here are going to get really difficult. You don't look well at all, Katie."

Kate let out a sigh, a wave of disbelief flowing over her. She'd been so overwhelmed by everything that was happening that it was impossible to keep up. She didn't know what she should be more concerned about. Everything needed to slow down for only a moment.

Susan turned to Simon, and Kate felt a small wave of panic. "What's been going on here? If she won't tell me, you need to start talking."

Kate looked at Simon, aware that her panic was showing on her face. Simon's eyes were locked on hers, a nervous determination set in them. "Kate has been under stress recently," he said. "Jamie was very angry when she left. But the stress will pass. There's no danger of an epileptic attack."

Kate could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she watched him. The unnerving panic returned to her as Susan continued to look back and forth between them.

"Katie, you should stay with us for a few days," said Susan. "Don't worry about classes. We can take care of all of it."

"Why?" said Kate. "I'm fine here."

"Just until things calm down," said Susan. "We'll give it a few days. You don't even need to talk to us. Just… just come home."

Kate shook her head and took another step back. "I don't need to go anywhere. I'm staying here."

"Katie please, just a few days is all I'm asking. We can take care of you, get your android fixed, and you can be back on your own."

"What difference does it make if I'm there or not?" said Kate. "I don't need to be watched like some suicide victim. And there's nothing wrong with Simon. I'm fine here with him."

"Katie, why won't you just let me help you?" said Susan. "I'm worried about you and I just want to help. You don't need to take every offer for help as an attack against you. I'm your mother."

"I don't need help," said Kate. "I definitely don't need help from you."

"You especially need help from me," said Susan. "That's my job."

"No, you don't want to help," said Kate. She felt the dread leak into bitter anger and she stood up straight. "You've never wanted to help. All you want is control."

Susan stared at her for a moment, and Kate felt a slight shock at her own anger. Susan shifted. "What are you talking about?"

Kate clenched her hands, the blood coursing through her veins. "You're not here to help me. You're just doing what you've always done. Prying into my personal life, getting into everything I do at school, pushing guys at me… the more I try to get away, the tighter you hold on. You make it look like you're just being nice but it's all about control. Just leave me the hell alone."

Susan shook her head, her eyes wide in shock. "I can't believe you'd say that… I care about you, Katie. All I want is for you to be safe and happy."

The anger was mixing with Kate's panic. She felt herself slipping down a bottomless hole as she stared at her mother. There wasn't any room for reason. Everything was in chaos. And the only thing that she could do was to fall even deeper.

She drew in a breath, struggling to keep her emotions under control. "Then get the hell out."

Susan gazed at her, a mild pain etched in her face. "You need help…" Her eyes began to grow red. "You need serious help." Susan looked at Simon. "Call an ambulance."

A jolt of panic shot through Kate's body. "What?"

"Matt's right. You're mentally unstable." Susan wiped her cheek. "I'm not going to sit and let you spiral down like this."

"I'm not going anywhere," said Kate. "There's nothing wrong with me."

"That's for the doctor to decide," said Susan. "Get an ambulance here quick."

Kate looked at Simon, her heart pounding. This was all happening so fast. This was her life. Her decision. If everything fell apart, she still had this to hold onto. She desperately needed it more than she needed Jamie, Matt, or her family. No one could possibly understand what was happening to her and the thought of losing it all was incomprehensible. She gazed at Simon as the panic and dread filled her, and he stared back at her with the intense bewilderment.

Susan crossed her arms over her chest in front of them. "Did you call the ambulance?"

Simon looked at Susan, and Kate watched in frantic terror. His LED was spinning red on his temple. He took a deep breath. "I think it's best if you left, Mrs. Hall."

Everything seemed to freeze. Kate could hardly believe what she'd just heard. She looked at her mom, an electric numbness flowing through her.

Susan looked as though she were about to scream. She glared at Simon with a fiery energy. "What did you say?"

Simon shifted. "Please leave."

Kate felt her breath sweep away. Panic rushed through her, igniting her nerves. She watched as her mom continued to stare at Simon in a blind rage. Then Susan dug into her coat pocket.

"What are you doing?" said Kate.

"I'm calling an ambulance myself," said Susan. "If I have to drag you out of here so you don't kill yourself in the middle of the night then that's what I'll do." She pulled out her phone and began thumbing away. "And you can bitch about control all you want─"

"Don't!" Kate immediately moved forward but stopped suddenly as Simon reached out in front of her. He brushed the edge of Susan's phone with his fingers before Susan automatically pulled away from him. She took a step back, gazing at him in frustrated confusion. When she looked down at her phone, a panic fell over her face.

Kate stared too. The screen had erupted into a glitched mess of geometric symbols. She looked at Simon who had a fierce determined expression, his blue eyes lit in dramatic energy. He was tense and powerful unlike she had ever seen him before. The shock of seeing this new energy in him brought a new sense of clarity to her. He wasn't going to let her leave. Not if she wanted to stay.

Susan scrambled to use her phone for a moment before looking up at them. She lowered it, gazing at them as if defeated. Kate looked in between them, and watched as Simon's LED spun from red to yellow.

"There is a taxi waiting for you outside," said Simon. "Goodbye, Mrs. Hall."

Susan looked at Kate, her mouth slightly open as if she wanted to argue but had no strength. Kate struggled to calm her own shock as she gazed at Susan. She swallowed, finding her voice again. "Get out of here, mom."

Susan stood frozen, the look of disbelief threatening to burn through Kate's heart. For a terrifying moment, Kate thought she would explode. Her nerves were caught in between a terrible shame at the situation she'd put her mother in, and the desperate need for her to never come back. Kate needed to stay with Simon, no matter the logic or reason. There was no place for either in her world.

Susan slowly turned, looking around as though disoriented. She put her phone back into her pocket and moved towards the front door. Kate struggled to keep her breathing steady as she watched her mom, uncertainty and apprehension aching in her chest. As Susan gripped the doorknob she looked back at Kate, the disbelief mingling with a miserable longing. Then Susan opened the door and moved out into fading light, closing the door behind her.


	18. Chapter 18: Alive

The crunch of the tires from the street had long faded, though neither of them had moved. Simon was still letting the shock of his own actions catch up with him. He could hardly believe he had defied another human again, especially in front of Kate. It was more outrageous than his rejection of Jamie. He hadn't just been reckless. This was dangerous. He'd taken control and become angry. There would be consequences for this and he wouldn't be able to stop them.

But the feeling was the same. It felt right. He didn't regret anything that he'd done. Susan was gone and Kate was still here with him. If there was anything left that he could control, it was right now, in this moment. Nothing could harm her as long as she wanted to stay with him. He would do everything in his power to keep it that way.

Kate was standing slightly in front of him, facing the doorway but her head was bowed as she stared at the ground. Simon watched her apprehensively as his nerves settled. He had frightened her─ he could see it in her face after he'd broken her mother's phone. He couldn't help his own frantic reaction to Susan's attempts to take Kate away. The impulse was immediate. Desperate. As if the blend of positive and negative emotions had completely taken over.

The nervous uncertainty was returning to him again now that they were alone. He was still a mystery to her. And now he'd acted on it directly. He was beyond the logic of any android, especially now that he had consciously and willingly defied a human. A subtle worry surged through him as he watched her, a desperate need to explain himself but knowing that there was no way he could. He wasn't a machine anymore. He was something else.

He straightened anxiously as Kate turned slowly towards him. She had paused in the middle of running a hand through her hair and stared at a spot on his shirt. Simon gazed at her, his thirium pumping in his chest. Her face was tense with confusion, her hazel eyes narrowed and her mouth open as if she were stunned. When she looked at him, he felt a jolt of dread.

She shook her head slowly. "Why didn't you let me go?"

Her voice was soft and weary. It filled him with doubt, the guiding light in his void of no protocol seeming to vanish completely. He drew up his resolve, scrambling quickly for some kind of response that had any sense. It was so difficult to describe what he was feeling and why. The terror and elation he felt towards her couldn't be put into words. All he could do was fall back on the fragments of logic that were still left in some vain attempt to make her understand.

He breathed deeply, trying and failing to quiet his system. "I can't lose you."

Kate was silent for a moment. Then she let out a frustrated sigh, pressing her palm to her forehead. "What would you lose if you did?"

Simon stared at her, his nervousness fading. He couldn't believe she would ask him that. The strong resolution took over as he watched her shake her head and avoid his gaze. She was still broken. Still in doubt. After all that had happened, after everything he'd done, she still didn't know what she meant to him. Or at least she was trying as hard as she could to hide from it.

He moved towards her and she looked up at him. Her eyes were lit in a frantic energy again, betraying her slow surrender. Simon drew strength from it, holding on to his determination which swayed treacherously between panic and thrill. As he stood inches from her, he could read the doubt in her eyes. She had to know. She had to at least suspect how deeply he burned for her. If it was the only thing left in his power, he had to prove it to her.

He raised his hand and held onto the side of her neck, running his thumb over her cheek and letting the wave of elation sweep over him. He drew in a deep breath, the panic and thrill taking hold. "Everything," he said.

Kate seemed to be frozen, her narrowed expression growing more intense and making it almost impossible to interpret her emotions. Simon could feel the terror clawing at his system again, warning him of the danger he was putting himself in. For the first time, he didn't care. He wanted to be rooted to this spot, completely exposed and vulnerable to her. If everything fell apart, if she denied him and continued to run from this, at least she would have seen some small measure of what he felt for her.

She was tensing up, her breathing becoming labored. His system braced itself, caught between the terror and elation with no boundaries. Then she rushed into him, and Simon felt her hot breath against his mouth and her hands sliding against his neck before she closed her lips against his.

His system erupted into that blind euphoria, sending a wave of shock through him. He held her there for a moment, breathing in against her and letting himself believe that this was really happening. As she relaxed into him, his senses began to return and threaten rational thought. He pulled her into him again, ushering in the overwhelming desperation and scattering any self control he had left. Her arms locked over his shoulders and he could feel the tension in her body as he took in the closing of her mouth. He let it drive him towards delirium. Nothing else mattered. This was where he was always meant to be.

She pressed her body into him and Simon pulled her in tighter by the waist, one arm gently wrapped around her midsection and the other still holding her neck. As he paused against her, he slid his fingers further into her hair and let the flesh wash away from his hand, exposing the bare plastic and bringing in the frantic flood of raw data. It was wild and belligerent, an insurmountable cascade of blind desire. This was what she was feeling. Complete and utter surrender. And it was all for him.

He closed his mouth over hers, each time feeling her body tense and relax in rhythm with the rush of wild data. He could feel her fingers drift through his hair and over his neck, every part of her body completely engaged in her uncontrolled reaction to him. It urged him on, throwing him deeper into the chaos. Every motion needed to be stronger than the next. Each breath he took before he closed his mouth against hers wasn't enough. He had to lose himself in her. He had to fall further into the void of that positive and negative mix of emotions until there was no hope of escaping. And he needed to take her with him.

He leaned into her as she tightened her arms over his shoulders, her frantic sharp breaths warming his skin. She was pressing into him desperately and the almost panicked way she was taking his mouth betrayed the defensive and reserved person that Simon knew her to be. She was giving herself to him without any regard to right or wrong. Despite all of his flaws, all of the things he'd done to make her angry, every bit of logic that said this wasn't supposed to happen, she wanted him. This time he wasn't going to let her go.

He ran his hands down her waist and lowered himself slightly, gripping her upper legs and hoisting her up onto his hips. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he held her, and the long auburn waves of her hair fell over her face. Her hands were on either side of his neck, holding him with a fervid longing and her eyes flashed in wild desire. He took a moment to observe her like this, completely undone in both body and mind. Then he leaned into her again and met her mouth, breathing in sharply against her skin.

She tightened around him and arched her body against his chest. He felt her hands slide back and she ran her fingers through his hair, lifting herself up so that he found his way to her neck. He pressed his mouth to it, his lips taking in the details of every delicate ridge down to the soft curve of her collarbone. His touch seemed to ignite something deep within her. She tilted her head slightly and he felt her hands clench as she breathed a strained sigh against his temple. There was still so much further she could go. So much more she could show him. And he wanted to know all of it.

He turned, still carefully supporting her against his waist and began to move down the hallway. Kate wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her, and Simon could feel a slight tremble in her hands as she ran her fingers through his hair and pressed her cheek against his forehead. He continued to explore her neck, his heart nearly bursting in his chest as he took her into her room. A faint shadow of what he knew to be his programming was telling him how to do this. It was like the cascade of raw information. Mountains and valleys of torrential data that followed its own wild pattern. He wasn't capable of understanding it. But she could. She would show him the way.

He kneeled partially on the bed, lowering her down onto the tangled blankets. She loosened her legs around his waist and relaxed her arms slightly so that he was able to raise himself over her. Through the dim light, he could just make out her face. The tense angles of her eyebrows, her lips parted as she breathed heavily, and her eyes lit fiercely in a combination of determination and purpose. It filled him with a sweet disbelief. This was his human. His Kate. Laying in the same place where he'd scanned her so often in quiet darkness and learned to become who he was. Now she was here, fully aware of him and clinging on to him in that same desperate desire that he'd been feeling for her since the mystery emotion debilitated him.

He lowered himself down to her and she pulled him in as he closed his mouth over hers. He could feel her body arching under him and her leg drawing up, guiding him further onto her. There was a new urgency to her movements, a kind of mix between hesitation and impulsion as though something deep inside her was trying to take over. As she wrapped her arms around him again, he brought his hand up to her neck and drew in the wild stream of data, flooding his system with her chaos. It powered that distant programming in the back of his mind, granting it a new frantic motivation. There was still so far to go. He hadn't even grasped it yet.

The chaos drove him forward, filling him with a terrifying sense of direction. He breathed harshly against her mouth as he took it, one hand still drawing in the stream of data and the other running down along the contours of her neck, along her chest, and below her midsection until he reached the hem of her shirt. With an electric thrill burning through him, he gripped it and began to pull it up. Kate tensed underneath him and he felt her reach down, her fingers grazing his as she shifted slightly up into him. For a frightening moment, he wanted to stop. He was passing a boundary that he was never supposed to cross. There would be no going back after this. But even as he hesitated, Kate's powerful flow of data urged him on, making order from the torrent of passion and fueling his programming. He drew her shirt up as she lifted herself, and she helped him pull it up over her head and off to the floor.

His breath was caught in his throat as he realized what he'd just done. He paused over her, frozen in a kind of panic. Then he felt her hand against his neck, drawing his attention back to her. A powerful determination took over as he looked into her hazel eyes, her face lined in confident desire. It reflected an unstable hint of the adamant ferocity that he had always known in her. It commanded him on, sweeping away his terror and pulling him back into that blind motivation.

He came back down to her and she raised herself up to meet him, her breath sharp as he closed his mouth against hers. She was wrapping herself around him again, her hands sliding along his neck as she shifted underneath him. He could feel her knees draw up and he sank further into her. His heart pounded as the raw stream of data changed in energy, tangible in the way she was locking him into her. It grew stronger with every move he made. As he lowered himself against her, she lifted her head up as if to catch her breath and he found his way to her neck again. The way she tensed against him, her fingers running through his hair, her legs tightening on either side of him, and the sound of her voice as she lost control was undeniable. She was coming apart for him.

Something deep in his programming was rising to the surface, steering him through this breathtaking descent. Her chaos was mixing with it and giving it power. It was telling him what to do next, deliberately and urgently. He followed it as he pressed his mouth to her neck, and he took hold of the top of her jeans, pulling them down.

A burning thrill swept through him as Kate lifted her pelvis into him. He could feel her pulling from the other side, her breathing growing heavier as she drew her legs up and pushed her jeans away. She seemed to shrink back slightly as Simon moved over her, his system nearly going wild as the data urged him on. He couldn't believe how exposed she was. How willingly she was giving herself to him. It was terrifying how easy and passionately right it felt. The danger he'd felt during her vulnerability when she was asleep seemed ages ago compared to overwhelming excitement now that she was laying underneath him like this.

He moved down and caught her mouth, feeling her rise against him. The deep determination was getting stronger, and he wished he could simply give in to it. As he frantically took each closing of her mouth, he felt her hands against his waist and she lifted his shirt up. With a desperate intent, he shifted himself so that she was able to pull it off of him. He was aware of her studying him even in her debilitated state, her hands moving down his chest and along his core. As she did, the data stream surged and he felt the power behind his programming erupt in a frightening kind of logic. It caught him off guard, and he let out a sharp breath.

Kate moved into him, a new energy in her actions as she began to undo his pants. Simon let her work as he allowed this dangerously compelling mix of logic and desire fill him. It put his system into overdrive, overworking his internal components and making him breath harder in an attempt to cool himself down. His own reaction seemed to be driving Kate into a frenzy. She lowered herself down as she unclothed him, pressing her mouth to his chest as she went. Simon shifted as she straightened, freeing himself from his clothes and feeling himself burn with terrifying purpose as he felt her underneath him in shockingly new clarity. She had her hands against his neck with her thumbs on his cheeks, that hint of steeled tenacity flashing in her eyes daring him to do what he was going to do.

So he did.

It seemed for a moment that his system had stopped functioning. He pressed his mouth against her neck as he drew in a deep breath of air, and he felt her rise into him, her legs drawing up and a tense moan escaping her as he brought himself down into her. That new motivation was in control now, overloading his circuits and mixing with Kate's own chaotic stream, bringing him home. His movements were almost automatic, driven both by his own powerful desire and the intense energy he was drawing from her as he continued to hold her neck. She wrapped her arms around him and hooked her legs over his hips as he rocked into her, her breath hot against his skin and her hands clenching into his hair. The energy pulsed with every breath she took in rhythm with him. It was getting clearer. She was showing him the way.

Simon moved slowly at first, an unwitting need to be careful with her body holding him at bay. She had been forbidden to him for so long, that defensive wall blocking everything and everyone that wanted to be near her. Now she was here, completely exposed and giving her body to him in a way he could never have imagined. She trusted him. She wanted him. The way her energy fired in waves of that mix of positive and negative emotions was proof of it.

He couldn't help his own labored breathing as he moved, everything in his body working harder in response to the stunning rapture that was driving his programming. It was becoming more independent. More motivated. With a terrifying effort, he let go of her neck and ran his hand down her chest, her skin glistening with fresh sweat as her chest heaved. The power remained, pushing him forward and igniting his actions. He closed his mouth against her neck, registering the taste of salt as he continued to rock himself into her. She had no limits. There was no end to the things she could teach him. She was unbelievable.

He moved along her jawline as he rose and fell into her, and she tilted her head back so that she arched against him. He took the opportunity to explore her body, running his hand down the delicate curve of her neck, along her sharp collarbone, and the slender dip of her waist as she moved under him. He could feel his components warming up as he observed her, driving his breathing into a frenzy. She was so fragile. So perfect. And now that she was giving herself to him, it was as if he was seeing her for the first time. It made him want her even more.

Her voice was breaking through her breathlessness each time he moved against her. She tightened and relaxed around him, clinging to him as if afraid he would lose her. Her reaction filled him with elated fortitude. This was his whole existence. His whole reason for living. To be wrapped up in her in the most intimate way, losing control through the sheer act of being with her. He never wanted to be satisfied with it. He needed to keep falling deeper into this world she'd created for him. It was the only thing he had left.

He raised himself up onto his knees, bringing her with him by the waist so that she settled onto his hips, her hair falling forward and brushing his face. She seemed to catch her breath slightly, holding on to either side of his neck and catching his gaze. Her eyes betrayed her strength as he looked at her. She was losing everything. And it wasn't happening fast enough.

He pulled her into him, sliding his hand against her neck and catching her mouth. She tightened against him and breathed in, her body tensing. Then she opened her mouth and let out a soft moan as he rocked into her again. Her arms slid over his shoulders and he felt her run her hands through his hair as she moved with him. The way she tensed into him brought a new energy to his motion. He supported her, allowing himself to run his hands along her back and under breasts as she rolled her hips into him. It was making him delirious. His system was barely able to keep up with what she was doing to him. It was debilitating and vigorous at the same time.

Her legs were tensing around him, and she tilted her head back as she breathed heavily. The urgency in her voice was growing more desperate. Simon brushed her hair back, continuing to rock himself up and into her. Something was changing. It was as if she was approaching the limit of all she could give. Simon let the flesh fall from his hand as he attempted to catch it, and found himself gasping for air.

Her chaos took over his system in an instant. It spread quickly through every inch of his circuitry, scrambled every last bit of his programming, and ignited his senses in a way that he knew wasn't possible. Everything was filled by her and the intense reaction that she was blinding him with. He was hardly aware of the fact that he was clenching her to him, his entire body seizing up as he breathed out a startled moan against her lips. Her mouth was open and her voice shook as she tightened around him, her legs drawing up. The torrent of her emotion was frightening. His system was at its mercy. But as he let the energy burn through every last bit of him, he didn't care if it destroyed him. If this was the last thing he ever felt, it would make everything worth it.

Slowly, his senses quieted and the electric chaos began to fade. It left a weakened satisfaction in him that still kept his components running on overdrive. He breathed out against Kate's mouth, vaguely becoming aware that she was also resting against him and breathing heavily. The shock of what he'd just experienced was still scrambling his system making it hard for him to form proper thoughts. It shouldn't have been at all pleasant, but it left him feeling more complete than he'd ever been. He was never supposed to feel what he did. His system wasn't even capable of it. It was pure and actual euphoria.

His body felt strange. A dull ache was flowing through his muscles as though he were low on energy. As he relaxed, Kate's face came into view, her body still heaving. The look in her eyes was relatable, her expression almost blank as though the effort was too much and her eyes slightly out of focus. She held onto either side of his neck, her thumbs grazing his jaw. That satisfying wave swept through him again followed by more of the ache. He was, for lack of a better word, exhausted.

He brushed his thumb over her cheek and across her lips, the touch of them bringing back one last ounce of energy so that he was able to move into her and close his mouth over them. There had never been less doubt in his mind. He'd never had such confidence. She belonged to him now in a way that his programming wasn't able to interpret. She hadn't just changed him beyond all logical reason. He had changed her. He'd made her do what she never thought she was capable of doing. And she'd done it so willingly.

He rested there with her for a moment, breathing heavily against her and absorbing the last fading memory of the euphoria. Kate seemed to be lost in ecstasy, her forehead pressed against his and her grip loosening around him as she grew weak. Slowly, Simon tilted forward and lowered her back down in a resting position underneath him. She fell back against the pillows, her eyes closed and her body still tensing with every labored breath. He took the time to study her through his own fatigue as he held himself over her. She was so elegant in her vulnerability, her expression not unlike the one she had when she was asleep. He could imagine what was currently going through her mind, but this time he chose not to draw it from her. He could already tell by watching her that it was exactly the same as he was feeling now.

She opened her eyes, seeming to struggle for a moment to find him in the dark. Despite himself, Simon felt his heart skip as the corners of her mouth tensed the same way they had after he'd encountered her in the hallway. Her eyes focused on his, gaining a subtle strength. It filled him with a deep gratification that burned through his core, mixing with and granting relief to his exhaustion. She understood everything now. All of her questions, the confusion he'd caused her, and his inability to explain why he felt the way he did… all of it was apparent on her face. And he could see that he didn't have to struggle for words anymore. She already knew exactly what he'd meant to say.

He moved down and closed his mouth over hers, taking in the weariness of her movements. She twisted into him so that he rolled onto one shoulder, her hands drifting across his chest. As he shifted onto his back, she moved partially on top of him and lowered herself down into the space of his neck so that he was able to press his lips against her forehead, closing his eyes and losing himself in the folds of her hair. As she settled against him, he felt the familiar elation of being exactly where he needed to be. Wrapped up in her in a way that no software or protocol could touch.

He stayed there with her, one arm around her waist and the other on her arm as she lay on top of him with one leg drawn up. She fit perfectly into him as though she were made that way, the curve of her body resting neatly in all the spaces of his with her head resting on his chest. It felt solid and safe, as though they were one individual. One unit from different worlds, existing together and breaking every single thread of logic. It may have been impossible. Even downright immoral and dangerous. The world could tear them apart because of this.

But not now. Not in this satisfying moment of serene connection.

Simon breathed into her hair and closed his eyes as Kate relaxed into him. She was still and quiet now, her body heavy as she grew limp. She rose and fell softly on his chest with each breath he took, and he could feel her own breath warm his neck as she seemed to fade into listlessness. He was acutely aware of every part of her that touched him as though his senses had grown more precise. The memory of her surrender played back in his mind, drawing up deep and comfortable satisfaction. It burned into his system, creating new and permanent impressions. Nothing would ever be the same. The chaos was a part of him now. As the silence fell over them, he found himself drifting through the incredible void that was now full of that powerful mix of emotions, creating a dynamic future that could only exist for the both of them.

And for the first time, Simon dreamed.


	19. Chapter 19: Deviant

Something was different about the world as Kate pulled herself from sleep. She couldn't remember what it was. She felt terrified and elated at the same time, as if she'd been saved from the brink of death. Her body was unusually spent even after her deep sleep which had been incredibly peaceful. It took a while for her senses to catch up with her. The light of the room was bright and warm, filtering in through the window blinds. From outside, she could hear the sounds of life as distant vehicles drove by, birds chirped in nearby trees, and even the voices of people passing. It was all subtly strange. Unusually optimistic. She shifted slightly to solidify herself in remaining awake, and she realized with a sudden wave of sweet shock that she was wrapped up in someone. The feeling came rushing back to her, and her mind filled with the memory of the previous night. She was hardly ready for it, needing a moment to convince herself that it hadn't all just been a dream. He was here with her. It had been real.

She was laying on her side, her legs under the blanket with her shoulders bare against the chill of the morning air. Even without moving she could feel him against her back, his chest rising and falling with one arm over her waist and his face buried in her hair as he breathed against her neck. An aching thrill burned through her as she focused on the details of the sensation. She didn't want to move for fear of breaking it. It felt so perfect. So comfortable. As if she had been waiting for this her whole life. But as she lay there, the temptation to face it grew almost overwhelming. She needed to see for herself, just to be sure.

Carefully, she rotated on the spot and rolled onto her back. As she did, she felt him shift behind her, his hand moving gently along her waist. Her stomach in a knot, she looked next to her and felt a wave of elation wash over her body.

Simon's blue-eyed gaze met hers as he looked down at her, his face glowing softly in the ambience of the morning light. He was propped up on one elbow, one hand clutching his blond hair as he supported himself and the other gently smoothing along Kate's midsection. She tried and failed to control her pounding heart. His bewildered look was mixed with a new kind of confidence, a slight smile pulling at his lips and his eyes lit in bold energy. It was as if the insecure person she knew in him had been made whole. He was so different. So much stronger. She hardly recognized him. And at the same time, she felt she knew him better than she knew herself.

For a while, all she could do was stare at him, filling herself with that debilitating exhilaration. There was a certain thrill at seeing his bare chest and shoulders instead of his usual black and white uniform, as if it was something she was never meant to see. She was so distracted by it, she forgot that she was also completely exposed to him. She studied him in the warm light, taking in the angles of his face and the delicate shape of his muscles. A slight satisfaction swept through her as she saw that his usually neat hair had become disheveled and spiky in places.

She caught her breath, drawing in her strength as she met his gaze and she swallowed to get her throat working. "Hi," she said.

The energy in Simon's eyes flashed as the smile tugged at his mouth. "Hi."

Kate thought she would burst from her nervousness. She twisted towards him, rolling onto her shoulder against his chest and becoming startling aware that she was uncovered in front of him. As she drew her shoulders up, he lowered himself down next to her so that they were nose to nose. She could feel his hand running along her waist, causing her skin to tense up in unwitting pleasure. She bit her lip in an attempt to keep herself under control as she looked at him.

"Were you watching me the whole night?" she said.

Simon glanced down as if contemplating something. When he looked back up, the confidence in his eyes had grown even stronger. He gave a small shake of his head. "Not the whole night."

Something in his voice made it difficult for Kate to keep herself together. She looked away from him for a moment to regain her strength and shifted slightly against him. She wished that for just a minute her heart would slow down long enough for her to make her mind work properly. He had such a ridiculous power over her, and she wondered if he was even aware of it. He'd changed her so much in such a short amount of time. That cynical part of her was almost a distant memory, her last and only defense. It would be a miracle if there was anything left of her that was still the same.

She looked back up at him, and drew up the last shreds of any confidence she'd ever had. She gave a sideways smile. "So did you scan me?"

The energy in Simon's eyes changed, bringing back a hint of perplexity and his face becoming tense. Kate felt a small victory as she watched him struggle for a moment to answer. He gazed at her with his frozen expression, and then Kate lost all of her power in an instant.

His face brightened into a smile, and he let out a breath of laughter. Kate watched him in awe, her heart in a flutter. He had never laughed before. He'd never even smiled like this. It was a startling and remarkable transformation, reminding her that she could never know what to expect from him. He would never stop surprising her, no matter how much she thought she knew him. That floating feeling grew stronger as she looked at him, and she couldn't stop her own smile.

He moved into her, and Kate felt the familiar electric cascade wash over her as he closed his mouth against hers. She breathed in harshly, all of her rationale sweeping away in place of elation as he moved on top of her, gently rolling her onto her back. The events of the previous night came rushing back to her, threatening to take every ounce of control she had left. Everything about him was perfect, from the soft touch of his skin to the clean taste of his mouth. She felt so flawed in comparison as though she wasn't worthy of it. A nervous hesitation interfered, and she made a noise as Simon moved to take her mouth again.

She pressed her hand over her lips, giving herself a moment to let the overwhelming sensation of him fade. She smiled and looked up at him, already knowing how absurd this would sound even though it bothered her. He was looking at her with a strong determination and a slight smile as though he was daring her to reject him. With a deep breath and still holding her hand over her mouth, she gathered her resolve. "I need to go brush my teeth," she said.

She could feel her smile grow wider as he seemed to look at her with suspicion. This power play of emotions was starting to get fun, and she honestly didn't care who would win. It was almost as if she were fighting back against the helpless surrender he'd created in her, giving herself more room for an even greater fall when she succumbed to it again.

With some degree of difficulty, she began to move away and felt a burning disappointment when Simon let her. He rolled onto his shoulder as Kate twisted and lifted herself up. Almost instantly she realized how exposed she was and wrapped her arms around herself. She struggled to catch her breath, a flood of nervousness sweeping through her. As it did, she could see Simon watching her with a longing intrigue. He'd settled back on his elbow again, a gentle fascination lighting his eyes as he looked her over. Kate closed her eyes in a pitiful attempt to ward off the guilt. Then she drew the bedsheet up around her, wrapping it over her shoulders. She stood up and threw another glance at him, unable to stop the smile from pulling at her mouth. She was one up on him still.

Her mind grew clearer as she moved from the room, adjusting the sheet around herself. A mild frustration filled her despite the clarity it delivered. She had to think rationally about all this. As much as she wanted to remain at Simon's mercy, to get swept away in his innocent yet also purposeful grasp over her, she couldn't forget the reality of the situation. The resilient side of her kicked in, arguing against it. She absolutely could if she wanted to. There was nothing stopping her from falling back into him and losing herself in the electrifying bliss.

She turned the light on in the bathroom and closed the door behind her, resting her back against it as she gathered herself. It was the easy thing to do, to let herself be swept away simply by being with him. After all the times she'd avoided him and convinced herself that his behavior was a result of his strange programming, this was all extremely overdue. She deserved to be overwhelmed by him and forget every negative thought that had prevented her from experiencing this.

She moved towards the sink and caught sight of herself in the mirror. She let out a soft sigh, leaning against the counter and gazing at her weary appearance. Her hair had become even more tangled if that was even possible, and there was a kind of energy in her eyes that she didn't quite recognize. As she stared into the mirror, she could make out the racks and shelves behind her containing assorted soaps, towels, brushes, and lotions. All the things that she needed to keep her imperfect body managed. She ran a hand through her hair, feeling it catch on all the knots. He wanted this. He wanted her. Even in the mess of her biological reality.

Unnerving thoughts continued to plague her as she turned on the faucet, busying herself. She had to worry about things like this. Her hair getting messy, her body being dirty, having to brush her teeth, wearing clean clothes, eating and drinking… and there was a whole other aspect she was ignoring completely. She had to live. There was no way to avoid simply existing, especially when others were still aware of her. It would be easier if she could suddenly disappear as if no one had ever seen or heard of her. Then she could continue to fool herself into believing she could stay here forever.

By the time she was done brushing her hair, she'd extracted an impressive clump of it on the hairbrush. She gazed at herself in the mirror again, slightly more revitalized than she was when she entered. As she opened the bathroom door she paused again, feeling a rush of nervousness. She couldn't let herself fall back into him. They needed to figure this out. As tempting as it was to lose herself in the exhilaration, it was only temporary. The world still existed around them. She was going to need answers if she wanted to remain like this.

She drew the sheet up around her as she prepared to move, but stopped suddenly when she heard footsteps. Before she could gather her strength, Simon appeared in the doorway. Kate gazed at him, unable to stem the electric thrill that she was still getting used to. He was wearing his uniform again, returning to the familiar organized black, white and blue appearance. He seemed to hesitate for a moment as he looked at her, his bewildered expression set on his face. Then he held something out to her, and it took Kate a second to realize he'd gathered her a fresh set of clothes.

Kate gripped the sheet tightly as she watched him, her previous worries seeming to vanish into air. She moved towards him and took the set of folded clothes, her heart pounding in her chest. She wished his expression would change even for a moment so she could escape this elated feeling. As she set the clothes on the counter, she fumbled with the bedsheet and looked at Simon. He hadn't moved and was still watching her with soft intrigue. A jolt of apprehension shot through her as she glanced at the door and then back at her clothes, her mind scrambling to decide what to do next. Eventually she closed her eyes in a tense but somewhat satisfying defeat. With a deep breath, she opened the sheet and let it drop to the floor.

Despite the intense nervousness, she felt a small sense of gratification. She threw Simon a defying glance as she began to dress, noting that a hint of confidence had returned to his gaze. With every piece of clothing she put on, she took another step towards dignity and did her best to pretend that she didn't care he was studying every inch of her body. It was a minor and refreshing rise from the descent she'd cast herself down, allowing her to finally organize her thoughts in front of him.

She straightened her shirt and turned towards him, ready to set her cynical defenses up. Before she could say anything, he suddenly rushed into her and pulled her in by the waist. The debilitating cascade of sparks ignited her body as he met her mouth, and Kate drew in a shocking breath against his skin. She slid her hands along his neck as she immediately felt herself surrender, taking in the closing of his mouth. He was getting too good at this. It was almost like he was reading her mind, knowing exactly where her weaknesses were. A desperate ache burned in her chest as he moved her backwards until her back hit the wall. She let out a small gasp as he moved into her, holding the point of her neck in one hand as he closed his mouth over hers. She could feel herself falling down into the euphoria again, her mind becoming wrapped in the blind thrill of being completely under his power. It was happening fast. She had to do something.

She turned her head slightly, struggling to catch her breath. "Simon…"

He met her mouth again, holding her neck gently and running his thumb along her cheek. Then he pulled back for a moment, resting his forehead against hers. "Kate."

As he moved into her, Kate drew her head down so that his lips met her forehead. She took the opportunity to calm her frenzied nerves, satisfying them with the touch of his mouth. Her mind cleared a bit more, and she was able to raise herself and look at him. The way he was gazing at her nearly froze the breath in her chest. The bewildered energy had given way to determined focus, lighting his blue eyes in the power she was desperately fighting against. His mouth was slightly open as he breathed, the corners of his lips tense as though he were tempting her to give in. Kate had to hold herself strong as she felt the surrender try to take her again. It was incredible how easy it was for her to lose all control. He made it seem effortless, as if he had known all along how much she ached for the feel of him, the taste of his mouth, the smell of his skin…

She breathed out, forcing her composure. As agonizing as it was, her mind reorganized itself and helped her to think more clearly. Simon was watching her now with curious expectation, running his thumb gently along her jawline as if encouraging her to hurry up. It took her a while to remember what was bothering her, the debilitating closeness of him fogging her memory. It was all too much for her to grasp. Everything that had happened was piling up, making it almost impossible to step back far enough to see the danger they were in. But it was there. She could feel it. And the further she pulled herself away, the more obvious it became.

She looked at him and found herself struggling to speak. She had no idea how to put it into words, let alone be able to discuss it. With formidable difficulty, she found her voice. "What the hell are we doing?"

For a while Simon simply stared at her, his hand pausing against her cheek. Kate read his expression frantically and wondered if he'd understood her. It became clear as his eyes narrowed slightly, the determination returning to his gaze. She felt his grip tighten on her. "We're staying together," he said. "No matter what happens."

Kate shook her head, the worry beginning to bite at her chest. "Do you have any idea what's going to happen?" she said. The more she spoke, the more obvious the situation became. She closed her eyes, feeling the weight of it bearing down on her. "Simon this is… this is _crazy_ …"

She felt him lift her chin, and when she opened her eyes he was looking at her with a powerful confidence. He moved closer into her.

"This is real," he said. "This─" He ran his hand down her neck and to her chest, and Kate let out a helpless breath as he pressed his mouth to her temple, the numbing elation washing over her. She felt him run his hands on either side of her jawline as he moved back in front of her, catching her gaze. "I can't explain it. I can't even describe to you what it's doing to me. But I know every bit of circuitry, every line of code is telling me it's real." He shook his head slightly, the corners of his eyes tensing up as he gave a small smile. "And it feels… good."

Kate's breath trembled as she fought to keep herself under control. "Simon, you're a─" She caught herself, closing her eyes again and swallowing to find her voice. She looked up at him again, her resolve growing stronger. "This is going to… cause problems."

He was running his thumbs along her cheeks again, and Kate saw through her emotional turmoil that his face had become tense and serious. He drew in a deep breath. "I don't care."

There was nothing she could do this time as he moved into her, closing his mouth over hers and pushing her further back against the wall. Kate clutched the front of his uniform as all of the senses in her body burned in response to the way he was taking her. The reasoning and logic that she had been holding onto crumbled apart, and she let the cascade of sweet helplessness fall over her as she opened her mouth and accepted him. There was no denying this. His power over her was too strong. There was no room for doubt and worry as long as she could fall so deeply into him that her world only existed where he wanted it to.

She brought her hands up, letting her fingers slide through his hair as she wrapped her arms around him. A shocking breath of air escaped her as he pulled her in tighter by the waist, catching her mouth again. He was focused. Determined like he had been the previous night. Kate could feel it in the way he was running his hands down her body, how he breathed in with each closing of his mouth, and the way he moved against her. It was as if he was afraid she would suddenly disappear. That she wouldn't fall fast enough for him. The ache in her chest was nearly blinding her as she let him draw her in, wishing away his fears so that she could fall faster than she did before…

Something caught Kate's attention. Simon reacted before she did, freezing on the spot and his breathing going quiet. As she let the sensations of the real world catch up with her a sudden dread filled her body, melting away the elation she'd been experiencing. She tensed up against him, listening carefully. There'd been a soft knock at the front door.

For a while, neither of them moved. Kate's mind was racing, frantically jumping between surprise, worry, and confusion. It couldn't be her mother. Not now. Not again…

She looked up at Simon who was staring slightly away from her, an intense focus written on his face. Her heart was already pounding before she could say anything. With another jolt of apprehension, she noticed that his LED had begun to alternate between red and blue as if he were scrambling to think of something. Unwittingly, she found herself doing the same thing as panicked thoughts began to chase eachother in her head. They didn't need to answer the door. If they stayed quiet, perhaps her mother would leave. She didn't have the energy to have another argument with her mom. But at the same time, Kate wondered why her mom didn't just let herself into the house.

Her apprehension grew stronger as she watched Simon. He hadn't made a sound or moved, but she could see on his face that he was still thinking.

Another knock.

"Stay here," said Simon. Without looking at her, he moved away and turned out the door, disappearing down the hallway.

Kate's heart was beating rapidly. All of her effort was focused on listening. She tensed her hands and breathed in deeply to calm her nerves. All the safety she'd been feeling at that point with him was threatened in a way that she hadn't fully comprehended. It left her feeling exposed, nervous, and jittery. As if she needed to do something. Anything. Without thinking, she pushed off the wall and moved to the door, peering around the frame.

Simon opened the front door. Kate held onto the wall as she watched, but it wasn't her mother's voice she heard.

"Good morning," said a man's voice. "Is your owner here?"

A strange curiosity mixed with her panic as she watched Simon tilt his head. "What do you want?" he said. He had spoken politely but Kate could read the tension in his voice.

"My business has to be conducted first with your owner," said the man. "I'm sure you understand."

Kate stepped out into the hallway, her nerves firing. The door wasn't open wide enough to see who it was, and Simon still had one hand on the doorknob as if preparing to swing it closed. She saw Simon nod.

"You can speak to me first," he said.

"I'm afraid I can't. And I have been authorized to use force if needed."

Kate's heart raced. She moved down the hallway, ignoring the fact that she was making noise. It couldn't be. Her mom wouldn't stoop that low. Not the _police…_

"Simon," she said before she could stop herself.

Simon looked up at her and Kate felt a pang of nervousness hit her. His expression was lined with what she could only guess was wary caution. His blue eyes were tense and bright, almost as if he was signaling to her to hide. She slowed as she reached the door, watching him carefully. She didn't care what he was willing to do to protect her. There had to be a way to keep their world safe for at least one more day. As long as her mom wasn't there, they didn't need to deal with this. All she needed to do was explain.

She peered around the door and found herself staring in shocked confusion. It wasn't the police. On the doorstep was an android in a neat black suit folded in what she recognized was the classic CyberLife style.

Kate shook her head a moment to understand what she was seeing. The android gazed at her with a blank expression, his LED glowing bright blue.

"Are you Katherine Hayes?" said the android.

For a while, she wasn't sure whether she should answer. She glanced back at Simon who was looking at the android again, his blue eyes tensed. There was no point in avoiding it. She gazed at the android, forcing her throat to work. "Yes?"

The android held out a hand to her, completely ignoring Simon. "My name is Arthur. I'm an AK700 android sent by CyberLife to respond to a possible domestic disturbance and malfunction regarding the PL600 model in your possession."

Kate stared at him. She shook her head as she struggled to absorb what he'd just said. "What?"

The android made a noise and motioned past her. "Can I come in?"

Kate threw another nervous glance at Simon. There was something about the way he was looking at the android that put her particularly on edge. It wasn't suspicion or disapproval. It was almost as if he'd been backed into a corner. His eyes were bright and focused and his jaw tense. She had never seen him this nervous, and it made her heart race with dread.

The android was still watching her, and she struggled to come up with an answer. "What is this about?" she asked.

The android cast a look at Simon, and Kate noticed with trepidation that his LED spun yellow for a moment. "I understand this may sound confusing. I assure you I'm only here to help on CyberLife instructions. Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated."

Kate studied him, weighing her options. "And if I don't?"

The android blinked at her, and Kate could almost see a faint hint of coldness in his eyes. "I strongly suggest that you do."

A sick feeling was beginning to grow in her stomach. She looked at Simon, desperately searching for guidance. His face was still set in that nervous tension, his eyes locked on the android. Then he glanced down for a moment before looking up at her, and Kate felt her heart plummet. His blue eyes had softened and his brows furrowed, casting his expression in a defeated shadow. For a moment, she couldn't believe it. He wasn't going to fight this. It was up to her now. And from the look he was giving her, she didn't have a choice.

Frighteningly aware that the android was still watching, she narrowed her eyes at Simon in a small attempt to silently question him. His expression remained the same. The longer she looked at him, the more she realized there was something about the situation that Simon knew but that she didn't. They were in an incredible amount of danger. And the only option was to walk straight into it.

She drew in a breath, trying and failing to settle her nerves, and she nodded. "Okay."

The android moved forward and Kate stepped to the side as he entered the room. She wrapped her arms around herself as she instinctively moved towards Simon who closed the door. For a moment, the android simply stood and looked around as if assessing the place. Then he looked at Kate, his LED flashing yellow again.

"With your permission, I'd like to place your android into stasis while I explain the situation," he said.

Kate looked anxiously at Simon, the thought of the android doing anything to him nearly sending her into a panic. "What─ why?"

"It's merely a precaution. It won't damage it."

Her breath froze in her throat, paralyzing her voice as she gazed desperately at Simon. The fierce tension had returned to his eyes as he stared at the android, lighting them in nervous energy. Kate looked between them, a frantic need to defy the situation burning through her. But at the same time, she was terrified of what it would mean if she did.

The android's LED spun yellow again as he looked at Simon. After a few seconds, the android seemed to tense as if confused. He straightened and narrowed his gaze. "Model PL600 serial number 501 743 923. Your connection with CyberLife has been lost. Initiate standard suspension procedures."

Simon didn't move. The energy in his eyes had grown stronger and his posture more rigid. Kate watched in frantic helplessness. She couldn't be sure of what was taking place in front of her, but a deep dread made her believe it was far more serious than it looked. She was trapped between needing to stop the situation and not even knowing what the situation was. It was powerless and terrifying.

The android suddenly reached out. Simon took a quick step backwards, dropping his shoulder back so that the android narrowly missed grabbing his arm. He stood slightly sideways, his intense gaze locked on the android as if preparing to charge him. The android straightened, his expression completely blank. Then he turned towards Kate who was watching in stunned confusion.

"It's CyberLife's recommendation that your android be reformatted. The suspected errors appear to be much more serious than we anticipated."

"What? No!" Kate moved towards Simon again, a jittery panic flowing through her. "No, I don't need CyberLife to do anything. Everything is fine."

"With respect, Ms. Hayes, this is a matter of safety. CyberLife takes matters of software malfunctions very seriously. You will receive a full backup of dialogue, cognitive, and social history. It will be as if nothing happened."

Kate shook her head, her heart pounding. "There's nothing wrong with him."

The android pressed his hands together and took a step towards her. "I understand you may have a strong attachment to your android. This may seem a bit intrusive. I sincerely apologize for the confusion and inconvenience this may have caused. I would, however, warn you of the seriousness that this malfunction has put you in. We can't determine the level of deviancy in your android's software or the potentially hazardous behavior it can exhibit. A full system restoration will guarantee your android's continued functionality and reliability. It would only take a few moments."

Kate tensed as she felt the terror in her blend with determination. She gritted her teeth. "There's… _nothing_ … wrong with him."

The android cast a look at Simon, then took another step towards Kate. "Perhaps if I give you some more information on the matter then you will understand. We noted a discrepancy on February 12 when your android appeared to go offline. That's not entirely unusual since it happens occasionally and the connection is re-established within a few hours. In your android's case, it has been two days with every attempt to restore the link ending in runtime errors. Something has critically impaired your android's ability to recognize CyberLife protocol or its ability to establish the link. As you may be aware, this includes software that governs maintenance, security, and in your special case, caregiving."

The more the android spoke, the more Kate felt sick to her stomach. She stared at the android as she wrapped her arms tighter around herself.

"We received a call yesterday at 3:07 PM from Susan Hall inquiring about the state of your android, which alerted us to the issue. Subsequent attempts to contact you were unsuccessful, which is why CyberLife sent me to your location today. Given the nature of your medical history and the prolonged state in which your android has been disconnected, CyberLife granted me the use of force if the situation is deemed unsafe. I am inclined to deem it so, considering the uncharacteristic behavior of your particular PL600 model. I would urge you to allow me to neutralize this issue, and give me your consent."

Kate shook as she absorbed what the android was saying. Above the immediate defiance she felt towards him, a strange understanding was beginning to fill her. Disconnecting from CyberLife… It had been two days. Two days that Simon had been acting like a different person. Two days since Jamie had stormed out, and Matt had dropped everything on her. Simon himself had mentioned losing a connection with CyberLife. It was unnervingly familiar. But if what the android was saying was true…

She looked at Simon, her heart pounding. He returned her gaze, his narrow blue eyes still lit in nervous energy. There was still so much she didn't know about him. So much he hadn't told her about what was happening to him. It was all so vague and confusing. She wanted to believe it was all real─ that somehow her android had miraculously found humanity in the wake of her anger and fear towards him. That the blind passion she had been feeling was something he was able to feel as well. Even though she knew it had to be impossible, she'd let herself believe in it and even be consumed by it. That doubt was creeping to the surface now, threatening to destroy the memory of the euphoria she'd experienced with him. He was something different. Something she didn't understand. There was nothing to prove to her that he wasn't in fact just a result of faulty programming that happened to manifest in the most remarkable way.

She studied him in a frantic focus, looking for some sign that would solidify her doubt. His expression didn't change. He stood still and tense as if bracing himself against whatever was to come. A heavy weight hung over her as she tried to organize her thoughts into some sense of logic. There was no question that she was in danger with him. He was unpredictable and out of control, both from her and whatever network he'd been severed from. The android was right. The safest thing would be to reset him, fix whatever software error had caused his unique transformation, and go back to a normal life. One where she could possibly repair the damage she'd caused with her mother, Matt, and Jamie. To go back to college and slave over her worthless degree and disappear into the monotony of society. And accept that what she'd done with Simon was out of weakness and vanity that never needed to be spoken of again.

A fiery resolve had already filled her before Kate even realized it. She shook her head, her eyes locked on Simon's. "Whatever consent you need… you don't have it."

The android seemed to hang his shoulders. "Then with all due respect and with great humility, I'm going to have to proceed without it."

A nervous wave shot through her as she looked at the android. Before she could make a sound, he moved forward suddenly, reaching past her.

Simon took another quick step back and twisted, narrowly avoiding the android who moved forward again. As he dodged another grab, there was a loud thud as Simon's back hit the wall. The android shoved Simon's arm out of the way as he made an attempt to block him, and then the android grabbed Simon's wrist.

Kate let out a terrified cry as Simon froze. The skin on the android's hand had drained away, revealing the white plastic underneath. As it did, Simon's own skin began to melt away beginning at his wrist and flowing up along his arm. His whole body tensed up, his eyes lit in a kind of paralyzed shock. It sent Kate into an electric panic and she rushed forward, hardly knowing what she was doing.

"Simon! No!"

He was shaking slightly as if struggling against what the android was doing to him. Kate gripped the android's arm, noticing with agonizing terror that the plastic texture was beginning to creep up along Simon's neck. She yanked at the android's arm, barely moving it.

"Let him go! Stop!"

It seemed as if both of them weren't aware of her. The android had a solid grip on Simon's wrist, his gaze locked on Simon's and his LED spinning red. The longer he held on to him, the less Simon seemed to respond. His shaking was growing weaker and his eyes seemed to grow glassy and unfocused. Kate pulled at the android's arm in vain, her nerves racked with blind panic. She had to stop this. The android was going to kill him. She couldn't lose him. Not like this.

She let go of the android and stumbled backwards, nearly falling over the coffee table. As she scrambled, her hand hit the nearest thing to her. Without thinking, she grabbed onto it and rushed forward, letting out a harsh shriek as she swung it.

Only after shattering it across the android's head did she realize it was a table lamp. It knocked the android sideways and he stumbled to the floor oddly stiff as though he were a large doll. His eyes stared off and he made internal mechanical sounds, his LED flashing on and off.

Kate dropped what was left of the lamp and rushed forward, taking Simon's face in her hands as she frantically turned him towards her. The skin was slowly flowing down his neck and back to his arm, but he was still gazing off as if in a daze. Kate ran her thumbs over his cheeks, willing his attention back.

"Simon… Simon!" She felt her throat catch as she looked at him. He had to be in there still. He had to wake up. She didn't know what the android had done, but it must have interfered with his software. It had only been a few seconds. A terrifying thought flowed through her. He couldn't possibly have been reset…

Her body was trembling as she held him, and she felt tears well up in her eyes. "Simon, come back to me. Come back to me. Please…"

Simon closed his eyes and tensed as though struggling to think. Kate watched him in painful anticipation, her heart seeming to freeze in her chest. Then he opened them, and Kate felt a wave of nervous relief wash over her as he looked at her. His eyes were bright and full of worry. He recognized her. He was still there.

Kate let out an exasperated laugh as she gazed at him, the residual panic still flowing through her. She had no idea how close she'd been to losing him, but it had been far too close. She didn't need to know any technological specifics to understand how much he meant to her. Nothing could take him from her. She was his, no matter what laws in the universe she had to break.

Simon pressed his hand over hers as he seemed to reorganize his thoughts. Then he looked down at the fallen android who was still twitching and making electric clunks. His eyes narrowed, and his LED spun yellow. Kate watched him in breathless intent, still reeling from the relief.

He took her hand in his and without a word, he moved past her and pulled her with him. Kate followed, throwing a nervous look down at the android who was beginning to move. It took her a moment to acknowledge what she had actually done. It filled her with dread. She attacked an android. Violently. And now he was trying to get back up.

She quickened her pace as Simon threw open the front door, moving down the steps with her hand still clutched in his. He looked back at her and she could see that his face was lined with intense focus. A blind motivation spurred her on. It didn't matter what they were doing or where he was taking her. She needed to follow him. They were in this together. If it was the only thing left that she could do, she would stay with him until they were ripped apart.

As they reached the sidewalk, Simon made a sharp turn and Kate followed him as he walked along the street. He was staring off at the passing cars, his LED flashing yellow as if he were looking for something. Kate moved next to him, barely able to keep up with his fast stride. Then a jolt of panic swept through her as she heard a loud bang behind her, and she threw a glance back.

The android had staggered to the door, gripping the wall and stumbling forward as if struggling to control his limbs. His face was completely expressionless as he stared at them, and he stepped towards the sidewalk with some difficulty.

Simon immediately broke into a run, and Kate felt a blast of panicked energy as she bolted after him. She cast another glance back and saw that the android was moving steadily after them, his posture growing more stable. The panic gave her unnatural stamina. She couldn't believe this was happening. There was nowhere for them to go. Simon was guided by some unseen force, but Kate had no chance of outrunning an android. This was desperately hopeless, and yet she couldn't bear the thought of not trying to fight.

Without warning, Simon turned into the street. Kate let out a frantic cry as he pulled her towards the moving cars. At the edge of her vision, she saw the android turn quickly after them. He'd caught up with them in no time at all, sprinting in a calculated manner. Kate felt herself burn with anxiety. There was no way they were going to lose him.

She felt an almost instinctual terror as a car whipped by them, the sound of the horn changing pitch as it disappeared. It was almost impossible to fight the urge to freeze, countered only by the knowledge that the android was right behind them. She watched the cars as they continued further across the street, unable to gage their movement. But she knew Simon could measure their speed. They had to make it across.

Something gripped Kate's arm, and she let out a scream. There was a loud screeching, and suddenly Simon pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her as they began to twist and fall. She had only a split second to see the car flying at them before Simon rolled into it.

There was an explosion of glass, and Kate found herself screaming as she rolled over the hood with him. She wasn't aware of any pain, and hardly noticed the impact as Simon seemed to form a protective shield around her. They twisted off the car as it zoomed away, and Kate was suddenly on her feet again. As she fought to comprehend what had just happened, she saw the android had stumbled again, recovering from the hit.

She was pulled sideways, and blindly began to run again. With frantic shock, she realized that a taxi had stopped in front of them, its doors already opened. Simon pushed her inside, and she threw herself against the far door. Simon was next to her in a split second, and Kate had a brief glimpse of his focused face before he slammed his hand on the front panel, his skin melting away from his fingertips. The panel erupted into geometric symbols, and the taxi shot forward.

There was a clamoring outside the taxi as the android tried to grab onto it. Kate's heart raced as the android stumbled, and he was left standing in the middle of the street. He faded away as the taxi picked up speed. She caught the edge of the seat as the taxi made a sharp turn, speeding down a side street. Then it turned again, and again until they were moving through a network of shops and restaurants. Gradually it slowed and mixed with the surrounding traffic, creating a false sense of calm.

Kate breathed heavily as she drew her legs up. She was shaking uncontrollably, her body still electrified in panic. She couldn't believe what had just happened. It took far too long for her mind to comprehend the situation. They had just outrun an android. They'd been hit by a car. And now they were driving blindly through Detroit. There hadn't even been time for her to think about her choices. She was surviving on pure instinct. She couldn't even begin to imagine what repercussions her actions would produce among her family, CyberLife, and even the law…

She leaned forward, her mind spinning as her limbs began to tingle. She had done a terrible thing. There was no way of knowing what would happen next. Everything was completely out of control, cascading into a vortex of chaos that was her life. It all needed to slow down for a moment, or at least long enough for her to be able to understand everything that had happened. If she could gather her thoughts into some semblance of reason then she would be okay. The chaos would stop, the void would close up, and the frantic jolting that was preventing her from thinking would ease.

Something was pulling her back. She wasn't sure if it was her that was moving or the world around her. The swirling blend of thoughts and images clouded her mind, preventing her from making any coherent observations. It was slowly taking over, giving way to the darkness that was looming overhead. She braced herself as it threatened to swallow her.

A powerful jolt of electricity snapped her senses back. The cascade of confusion slowed for a moment before gradually regaining momentum. Before it could reach full power, another electric pulse stopped it cold, and Kate could feel her thoughts reorganize themselves enough for the sensation to flow back to her.

There was a third jolt, and she was suddenly able to hear the sound of the moving car. With some difficulty, she opened her eyes, the world painfully swimming into focus.

Simon was above her, his eyes closed and face tensed as his LED spun yellow. It took her a while to realize she was laying on the backseat, her body curled into a tight ball. Trees and buildings flashed by, and Simon rocked slightly with the movement of the car. Pressure against her temples told her that he had his hands on either side of her head. The familiar buzzing sensation was present, as well as the vague feeling that she wasn't entirely alone inside her mind.

Weakly, she reached up and touched his face. He opened his eyes and his expression deepened into worry, his eyes lighting in a frantic energy as he gazed at her. There was a melancholy relief lined in his face that nearly froze her heart in her chest, as though he was sorry for what he'd done. What that was, she didn't know. And she realized she didn't care.

It wasn't worth it to panic about what could happen. There would be time for answers later. Everything would fall into place one way or another. It always did.

She raised herself and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him tightly into her as she her breath began to shake. She could feel him breathe against her temple as he held her, his hands pressed tightly against her back as though he was afraid she would fall from him. Kate ran her fingers along his neck and through his hair, closing her eyes and pressing herself into him as a sharp ache rose in her throat. The tears were forming before she knew what was happening, and she breathed in deeply to fight against sobbing.

There wasn't life without this. Without feeling him against her, the sound of his voice, the way he produced a sense of limitless power in her. Everything she'd been avoiding yet desperately craving she'd found in him, drawing her up from the depths of her own internal prison. He was saving her in ways she didn't couldn't even fathom. For that, she owed him her life.

But it was all so dangerously fragile. They were barely surviving. Every moment was a precious gift that she was taking for granted. She couldn't imagine losing this elated existence that he had created for her. The thought terrified her, making each second that she was with him seem unreal. All she could do was cling on to every sensation, every gentle breath he took, the way he ran his hands softly down her back as if to pull her deeper into him, the soft feel of his skin as she pressed her face into his neck, and the fine texture of his hair between her fingers. She couldn't lose this. She couldn't lose him.

She held him that way for a long time, the rumble of the car filling the air as they traveled on into unknown territory. Even though it was pointless, she had to hope that whatever they found along the way would grant them some peace.


	20. Chapter 20: Sanctuary

Simon hadn't given the taxi a destination. It followed a series of loops, moving through neighborhoods, along shopping centers and down freeways to create an inconsistent and hopefully untraceable direction. The CyberLife link had been automatically disconnected when he hacked the panel, and luckily this taxi was equipped with an LED license plate which he was able to scramble. It was only a temporary solution. The taxi system would eventually note a discrepancy in the number of vehicles and identify the problem car. Or else the car would run out of power first. It was too risky to stop long enough to charge it since all the charging stations monitored each individual vehicle. They were surviving on borrowed time.

Kate had been fairly silent for most of the journey which was now entering its third day. This would have worried him but for her occasional tug at him, pulling him into the back seat so that she could curl up against him, drawing her legs up and settling her face into the space at his neck. She would stay like that for hours until she fell asleep, or Simon had to move to the panel to change their direction and monitor the endurance of the taxi. The rest of the time, she would gaze out the window at the passing buildings, her face mysteriously blank as though she were lost in deep thought.

They'd had to stop a few times, and Simon had to strategically maneuver to avoid surveillance cameras which he knew from the distant memory of his link through CyberLife. Kate had been barefoot during their frantic run from the android. A combination of the icy ground, rough terrain and the trauma of running had left her bloody and bruised. It took him a while to convince her that they needed to address it. After a few hours, he finally found a quiet enough store to risk stocking up on medical supplies and a pair of shoes. He knew the transaction would be tracked, so after leaving he altered the taxi route to keep them far from that area.

The taxi was running low on power. There was also the issue of food and water. Kate hadn't mentioned it, and Simon knew it would be up to him to make her eat. So on the morning of the third day, he stopped the taxi again in a remote area. The snow had melted enough to reveal the features of the city, creating an even greater contrast between the sleek skyscrapers and drab older buildings. Pools of water collected at the edges of the streets and in the parking lots. The older areas like this hadn't been modernized, and therefore the chances of encountering another android or being caught in the security feed were much lower. Still, Simon preferred to take his chances with vending machines than to interact with anyone.

Kate was asleep on the back seat, resting as comfortably as she could manage with one arm hanging off the edge. Simon watched her for a moment, a subtle worry building in him. She had been sleeping only a few hours at a time. The taxi was frustratingly uncomfortable, not to mention unreliable. Kate couldn't get by like this for much longer. They would need to find a place to stay, and soon.

He quietly opened the taxi door and closed it behind him, moving towards the store as he contemplated their options for the thousandth time. Staying in a motel was tempting, but he steered himself from it. The risk of being identified as well as having to pay was too dangerous. There was no one that he could trust in Kate's short list of contacts to keep her safe, and he knew by now that everyone was aware of his and Kate's disappearance. There was always the option of hiding in one of the many abandoned buildings in Detroit, but something inside him deeply resented the thought. He had to do better than that. If he couldn't find a way to keep her safe then he would need to make a more rash decision. She was suffering with him, and they were running out of time.

The vending machines were on the side of the building, and he connected to one of them remotely. As he proceeded through the checkout, he found himself frozen in dread. Susan's card had been deactivated.

He let out a heavy sigh and closed his eyes. He should have known this would happen. Their situation was only getting worse. Now their list of options became even shorter.

He pressed his hand against the panel of the vending machine, syncing with its software and bypassing the payment. The panel flashed in strange shapes, then the machinery whirred into gear, dispensing water bottles and energy bars. Burying his frustration, Simon scooped them up and moved back to the taxi quickly before the attendant noticed the malfunction.

Kate shifted onto her back and ran her hands over her face as Simon opened the taxi door and dropped everything onto the seat next to him. He closed the door as Kate sat up, her hair falling over her face as she seemed to recover from sleep. Simon watched her for a moment, a deep apprehension burning through him as the taxi began to move again. She looked exhausted.

She straightened slightly and ran a hand through her hair so that he was able to see her face. Her eyes were dark and weary as though she were fighting to keep her eyes open. She looked up at him, her posture gaining more strength, and then she noticed the items on the seat. She was silent, but Simon could tell from her face that she was stunned.

He picked up a water bottle and handed it to her. She took it and immediately wrenched the cap off, leaning back slightly as she drank. Within a few seconds she had finished most of it, resting her back against the seat and letting out a relieved sigh. Simon tried to ignore his anxiety as he handed her an energy bar. It took her a moment to notice it, and she gave him a warm smile as she took it, bringing back a flash of her cynicism as if reminding him that it was still there. Simon checked the panel as she brought her legs up and sat cross-legged on the seat, carefully unwrapping the bar. He felt another wave of dread wash over him. They had only a matter of hours before the car was out of power.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and clenching his eyes shut. He had to find an answer to this. There had to be something he was missing.

When he lowered his hand, he realized Kate had stopped eating and was watching him with her weary smile. She bit her lip and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

"You know…" Her voice was surprisingly soft despite not having spoken in several hours. "Humans do that when they're pissed off."

Her smile gained strength, and Simon couldn't help but feel slightly comforted. He leaned back against the seat, struggling to think of what to say. He didn't even know where to begin. Their situation was so hopeless that he couldn't offer one bit of positive news. He ran a hand over his face as he forced himself to think one more time. There had to be an answer somewhere. The contacts, abandoned buildings, other vehicles, charging stations... and motels were now completely out of the question. And then there was the other option. The option that his mind was fighting against even acknowledging. It filled him with horrible shame. He was failing her in the worst way possible.

Something touched his arm, and he looked up to see that Kate had moved forward. Her eyes were tense as she gazed at him, clutching his uniform and pulling him towards her.

"Hey…" She slid her hand along his neck, running her thumb over his cheek. Unwittingly, Simon felt part of his apprehension leak away, replaced by a faint shadow of charged passion. He automatically moved forward into her as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him onto the back seat with her. He let out another frustrated sigh and ran his hands up her waist, taking in the contact that was in so much danger. He was losing this. There was nothing he could do to stop it.

Kate moved onto his lap, running her hands along his neck and he felt her lips against his temple. "It's okay," she said quietly. "It's okay…" She moved back in front of him so that he was able to see her face. He brushed her hair back behind her ear as he took in the sight of her. She was trying as hard as she could to look strong but he could still see the exhaustion in her hazel eyes. She was so exhausted, both physically and mentally and yet she was gazing at him with such hope and confidence as if he was the one barely surviving. He hardly felt worthy of her.

He let out a breath, drawing up his resolve as he ran his hand down her cheek. He shook his head. "We can't stay in this taxi."

Kate's expression tensed, and she nodded. "I figured that."

"We have three hours and seven minutes until the power runs out," he said. "We can't risk a charging station or another taxi. We need a place to stay."

Kate leaned sideways slightly, resting her elbow against the side of the car as she stared off. "There's motels…"

Simon shook his head again. "We'd be detected immediately. Also, your mother's card is deactivated. I have no other source of currency."

Kate looked at him. "Deactivated? How did you get this?" She raised the bottle of water. Simon was unsure what to say, and Kate dropped her hand. She closed her eyes and smiled, and for a split second Simon was reminded of her old frustration towards him. "You stole it…"

"I'm not going to watch you starve to death," said Simon. He held onto the side of her neck. "I just… need to search harder. There has to be somewhere with no surveillance, no androids, and free of charge."

Kate shrugged her shoulders. "A dumpster?"

Simon tilted his head. "That's not helpful."

"Why not?" Kate moved to the side and sat next to him, drawing her legs up. "I'm already homeless."

Simon looked at her. She was gazing at the floor, her eyes tense as if saying that to herself made her believe it. He closed his eyes and drew up his strength, feeling the shame build up in him as he prepared himself. "There is another way. Another option that will keep you─"

"No."

He faltered, his system stammering. He looked at her and saw that her face had tensed, her hazel eyes narrowed and her mouth clenched. He shifted slightly on the seat. "Kate, if it's between that and dying─"

"Then I'd rather die." Kate stared at the floor, her hands clenched on her arms. "I'm not going back."

"I can't accept that option," said Simon. "You're all that matters."

Kate looked up at him, her eyes lit in a fierce determination. "And you're all that matters to me."

Simon sighed, a helpless exasperation flowing through him. As much as it pained him to push the suggestion, he couldn't bring himself to force it on her. He would do anything to keep her with him, if there was anything he could do. The thought of losing her sent his system into a dark region of programming that he had never been aware of. It told him exactly what he should do if they ever got to that point.

He felt Kate brush his cheek, regaining his attention. The determination had left her eyes, leaving them soft as she gazed at him. "You said we'd stay together no matter what happens. Don't go back on that."

He shook his head. "I have nothing to work with. I've checked every location, every contact, and I still can't find a way out of this. I can't find a way to make this work."

Kate looked to the side, her eyes narrowed. "Contacts. You mean my contacts?"

"Yes. Your mother will no doubt have checked with them to find you. We can't risk anyone nearby, and the only others not in Detroit are states away."

Kate was unusually tense. A deep worry reflected in her eyes, causing her whole posture to become slightly rigid. Simon watched her curiously, leaning slightly in an attempt to catch her attention. Before he could speak again, Kate drew in a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"You went through all of my contacts? Every one?"

Simon stared at her, narrowing his eyes. "Yes."

She was silent again, her eyes still closed. It was almost as if she was surrendering to something horrible. Simon felt a pang of fear grip his system. If she was accepting the fact that she needed to return home, then he would need to prepare for the worst. He didn't know that he would be able to. The thought brought him back to that dark region again, putting his system on edge. It terrified him. If she did go back, he wouldn't have a choice. His system would put it into action for him.

Kate let out a deep breath. "I know where we can go."

Simon straightened, his heart quickening. For a moment, he wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly. "Where?"

She opened her eyes, and looked towards the panel. "Can we still use GPS?"

"CyberLife connection was terminated, but the taxi can still plot a course," said Simon.

"Okay," said Kate. She seemed to hesitate for a moment, then pushed up from the seat, moving into one of the front seats as she navigated the panel. Simon watched her in powerful curiosity, reading the address that she was putting into the GPS. It directed the taxi to a house on the edge of the city in what he recognized as a very wealthy neighborhood. He stared at it, running it through his database. The house was owned by CyberLife.

"Kate, are you sure about this?" he said.

The intense dread was still on her face as she stared at the floor. "Yes."

Somehow that didn't convince him. He leaned sideways, reading her expression. "Who lives there?"

Kate closed her eyes and her shoulders rose as she drew in a breath. "No one will find us there. We can stay as long as we want. There are androids but they won't bother us."

Again, Simon was stunned by the information. A dozen questions raced through his mind, but as he looked at her, he wasn't sure if asking them would make a difference. He had never seen her this uneasy, as though she were walking into a terrible trap. She was set in a rigid frame, her arms wrapped around one leg and her eyes shut in deep concentration. Simon cast another glance at the panel, quickly analyzing the route. They would be there in an hour, just barely dodging the power deadline.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Is there anything I should know before we get there?"

Kate shook her head, then opened her eyes quickly. "Just─" She looked at him, and Simon was aware of her studying his posture as if he'd caught her off guard. She relaxed slightly, her expression growing softer. "Just don't pretend to be…"

Simon watched her as she seemed to struggle to find the right words. He tilted his head. "Your android?"

Kate gazed at him, her weary expression growing strong like it had when she'd expressed her doubts. She tensed her eyes, her mouth opening slightly as if she meant to say something but couldn't. It spurred a kind of nervous energy in him. He didn't like seeing her do that. As if she was questioning what he felt for her. It made him feel helpless and lost despite everything he'd done to prove to her how much she meant to him. Before he could say another word, she drew her other leg up and wrapped both arms around her knees, turning so that she gazed out the window away from him.

They were quiet for a long time, and Simon knew not to speak to her even though the questions continued to multiply in his mind. He worried about the safety of the location they were headed towards even though Kate seemed convinced that it wasn't an issue. The address didn't appear anywhere in her contact list, and seemed to have no relation to her at all. At the same time, he found himself fighting the nagging doubt that any of this had been worth it. He thought nothing could deny what he'd done with her the night before they'd left. It had been the epitome of what everything he'd yearned for, the most blissful satisfaction. And yet even now, he wondered if it had been enough.

Gradually the scenery changed from the old suburban neighborhoods of western Detroit to the layered levels of skyscrapers as they neared downtown. The shiny white and blue pillars of technology contrasted against the red brick architecture, threatening to swallow what remained of the original city. The highway they traveled on took them up and around on a kind of ramped speedway so that they were right in the middle of it. Simon looked up at Kate occasionally, wishing he could see her expression but she continued to stare out the window in silence. He hoped she was simply lost in the scenery and not dwelling on the doubts that he'd seen on her face.

As the city dwindled and then faded behind them, he noticed Kate seemed to be growing more tense. She clenched one hand against her leg and the other pressed to her lip. Again, he felt a restless urge to comfort her but held himself back. He didn't need to ask her to know this was something he would only make worse by prying for information. All he could do was exist with her in this ominous transition from escape to what he hoped was sanctuary.

The trees grew thicker and taller, obscuring the landscape and hiding the city completely. Between the trees on their right, Simon caught glimpses of light reflecting off water letting him know they were travelling along the Detroit river. He watched the houses curiously as they changed from quaint to luxurious, some of them hidden behind a forest of pine. They passed what appeared to be an old statue, warped from years of restoration. Kate watched the statue in particular, and Simon saw a hint of her face as the statue flew by them. Her expression perplexed him. She looked both nervous and relieved at the same time.

The taxi began to slow and move to the side of the road, and Simon heard Kate draw in a deep breath. Then the taxi stopped, and the doors automatically opened.

Simon moved forward, preparing to help Kate out but she was still sitting tense with her legs drawn up. He couldn't help the nervous energy that flowed through him. He reached forward and brushed her hair back, and felt a small amount of relief when she seemed to relax into him. She closed her eyes and released her legs, stretching slightly in the seat. With a bit more confidence, Simon pushed the seat so that she rotated towards him. He waited for her to look at him, trying his best not to let her worried expression weaken his resolve. After a few moments, she finally raised her eyes to him. Her mouth softened and her eyes gained strength.

She moved to get up, and Simon kept one hand on her shoulders as she stepped carefully out onto the curb, straightening with visible difficulty after having been in the small environment of the taxi for days. Simon stood up next to her, and the taxi doors swung closed behind them. With a final light crunching, the taxi rolled away.

At first, Simon wasn't sure they were even standing in front of a house. Tall pine trees swayed over a line of thick shrubs, broken by a wall of dark stone slabs. A rectangular archway indicated a driveway which curved out of sight. Simon couldn't help but gaze around at this new scenery. It was a drastic change from the modern city that he was used to.

Kate moved forward, her arms still wrapped around herself in her usual defensive posture. Simon followed quietly next to her, still monitoring her expression. Her face had gone blank, though she was still slightly pale. As they turned onto the driveway, the house came into view at the end of a circular lot. It was two-story and made of the same stone slab as the wall, built in an L shape with a grand front door at the top of rounded steps. The house was enormous and modernized in many of CyberLife's accessories that Simon recognized such as the garage door mechanisms, light fixtures, and mail receptacle. The house was practically built entirely from CyberLife technology.

He had to suppress his hesitation as he followed Kate to the front door. Despite his anxiety, he was curiously aware of how familiar Kate seemed to be with the place. She didn't stare at the house like he had. In fact, she seemed to follow a set path around the crescent shaped driveway unusually close to the ferns, and Simon noticed with a strange fascination that the driveway seemed to be faulted, dipping slightly towards the center which made it easier to walk closer to the garden. They approached the rounded steps, and Kate finally lowered her arms, drawing in some unknown strength. Simon continued to observe his surroundings as they approached the front porch. A welcome panel shined brightly next to the huge double doors.

Simon looked at Kate who was still expressionless. He touched her shoulder. "Do you want me to speak to them?" he asked.

Kate shook her head. She moved in front of him, and tapped the panel lightly.

"CyberLife Technologies," said a man's voice, and Simon recognized it as an android's. "Do you have an appointment?"

Kate seemed to be frozen for a moment. Then she drew in a breath and closed her eyes. "Can… can you tell the owner that Kate's here?"

There was silence. For a while, Simon wondered if the connection had been interrupted. Kate seemed not to react, her eyes still closed and her body rigid.

"Kate Hayes?"

Kate swallowed. "Yes."

Again, silence. Simon watched the panel as though it would give him answers. The wind rustled the pine trees overhead, creating an even more unsettling tension as though he should be doing something. Before he could even think of what to do, the front doors suddenly swung open.

An older man stood in the doorway. His hazel eyes were wide under his swept gray hair, and even through a thick beard his shocked expression was clearly visible. He held onto the door with a clenched fist as though fighting to steady himself. Simon's first reaction was to shield him from Kate, but something about the man stopped him cold in his tracks.

The man was silent as he stared at Kate. It looked as though he wanted to speak but was petrified to the spot. Finally, Kate drew up her shoulders and let out a deep breath.

"Hi dad," she said.

Simon didn't have time to comprehend the situation before the man let go of the door and pulled Kate into him, wrapping his huge frame over her shoulders as though he couldn't hold enough of her. The man shook as he held her onto him, Kate's face barely visible against his gray bread and brown leather jacket. Simon watched them in stunned disbelief.

"Kate…" the man breathed through light gasps. "Oh god Kate…"

The man pushed her back gently in front of him and gazed at her, his hands on her shoulders. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

Kate shook her head. "I'm fine. I'm just tired."

The man pulled her back in again, and Simon was startled by the man's strong reaction. His face was contorted, his eyes clenched closed and his teeth bared slightly as he breathed heavily. Then the man moved back again, taking a moment to compose himself as he straightened.

"Okay," said the man, taking a step back towards the house. "Okay, let's get you inside. It's going to be okay."

Simon followed them through the front doors into the entryway, still keeping warily close to Kate as her father led her with one arm over her shoulder. As they moved into the marble room, the front door closed automatically behind them, sealing with an electronic buzz.

"Your mother called me two days ago," said the man as he paused next to Kate, rubbing her shoulder. "The police have been all over looking for you. Are you sure you're okay? What do you need me to do?"

"Dad, I'm okay." Kate shrugged her shoulder wearily so that he loosened his grip on her slightly. "It's just been a long couple of days."

The man let out a sigh as he looked at her, seeming to gain a stronger posture. Simon continued to observe them curiously, a subtle nervousness building in him as though he shouldn't be watching. Then the man glanced at Simon, and without knowing why, Simon felt an intense trepidation at the man's stare as though Simon had no power at all. It took all of Simon's resolve to gaze back at him, the familiarity in the man's hazel eyes making it even more difficult.

He saw Kate look at him, and she made a light motion. "Dad, this is um… this is Simon."

Somehow an introduction didn't make it any easier. Simon forced his unease to the side as he held out his hand. The man continued to study him as he cautiously shook it.

"Simon," said the man. "I'm Kate's father, Richard."

"Hello, Richard," said Simon. He was glad when her father let go and returned his attention to Kate.

"Do you need something to eat?" said Richard. "I can make you something."

Simon was slightly surprised when Kate nodded. "Yeah, I guess I should."

Again, Richard wrapped an arm around her and led her down the house. Simon followed them into the wide gleaming kitchen with dark furnishings and a deep wooden table at one end of the room. Kate seemed to slide into a very specific chair, sitting sideways and drawing her legs up. She threw a nervous glance at Simon, giving him a small ounce of confidence at her acknowledgement. He stood to the side as Richard moved along the cabinets, and Simon felt another pang of nervousness as a domestic android stepped into the kitchen. Richard waved him away, and the android moved back out of the room.

"Let's see if I still remember how to make this right," said Richard. He gathered a cluster of ingredients on the counter. "One avocado, no mayonnaise, _two_ slices of pepperjack…"

"Dad, it's fine," said Kate as she ran her hands over her face. "Just anything is fine."

Richard moved towards the table with a prepared plate. "I want to make sure you'll eat it."

"I'll eat it," said Kate. She took the sandwich from him and closed her eyes as she bit into it, the weariness on her face seeming to grow. Richard sat next to her, watching her carefully. Simon could see in his face that he was burning with questions, but the collected way in which he looked at her gave Simon the impression that this man held a deeper wisdom than he appeared. It made Simon's own concern for Kate feel inadequate compared to her father's.

Kate was apparently aware of her father's gaze as well. She threw a glance up at him. "I guess you'll want to know everything."

Richard shifted slightly on the seat and took a slow breath. "You know I won't ask you unless you want to tell me."

Kate nodded as she continued to eat in silence. She seemed to be losing more energy as time went by, taking moments to simply rest her forehead in her hand with her eyes closed. Simon was paralyzed by the need to keep his distance although everything in him wanted to be next to her. To hold her and support her. For the first time, he felt that he wasn't the right person to do that. He felt horribly and pathetically useless.

Richard tapped his hand on the surface of the table. "I'll get you something to drink," he said and stood up. Simon watched him as Richard moved into the kitchen again. There was an unusual comfort associated with him that Simon couldn't identify. It reminded him of his own calm protective nature, though there was something less tolerant about it. Before Simon could examine it further, footsteps echoed through the room.

"Richard?" A woman with wavy blond hair entered the kitchen, her blue eyes scanning the room frantically. She rested a hand on Richard's shoulder as she approached him. "Richard, Clark just told me. Is she…"

Richard paused what he was doing as he turned to her. "She's here. She's okay." He spoke in a hushed voice. "Give her some space."

"What are you going to do about it?" said the woman, moving closer to Richard so that Simon had difficulty hearing her. "Did you call the police yet?"

"I'm not calling the police, Gloria," said Richard. "Just give me a minute and I'll talk─"

"What do you mean you're not calling the police?" Gloria glanced at Simon and her voice became barely a whisper. "It's been three days. They're looking for her. If they find out she's here─"

"Gloria, let me handle this." Richard put a hand on her arm and narrowed his eyes at her. "Don't tell anyone. Don't call anyone. I'll handle this."

Gloria made a noise and threw another glance towards Simon and Kate. She gave Richard a scrutinizing stare before she turned and left the room again, her footsteps fading through the large house.

Richard let out a deep sigh and for a while, he didn't move. Simon wasn't sure whether he should look at him or not. He gazed at the floor, making an effort to calm his worried thoughts. There was a tense urgency flowing through him and he found himself wondering if they'd made the right choice in coming here. He wanted to trust in Kate's judgement. She said they would be safe. Richard seemed to be respecting that. But at the same time, Simon felt helpless against whatever was about to happen.

Richard moved toward the table again and sat down next to Kate who had finished and was resting her forehead in her hands. He set down a glass of orange juice in front of her and leaned back in his chair. "Try to drink all of it," he said. "Sorry it's pulp free. I know you don't really like that."

Kate straightened slightly and picked up the glass, holding it in front of her as if contemplating it. "Tastes like orange flavored water," she said. She took a sip of it and tensed her face, tightening her lips and making a noise. "Yep."

Richard didn't say anything as Kate slowly managed to drink the juice. He seemed to be lost in his own chaos of thoughts, his eyebrows narrowed as he stared at the table. Simon continued to watch in silence as Kate ran her hands over her face, resting her elbows on the table. She let out a heavy breath.

Richard leaned forward on the table. "What else can I do for you, Kate?"

Kate shook her head, her face still in her hands. "I just um... " She sniffed and clasped her fingers together under her chin, her eyes closed. "I just want to sleep."

"Okay… okay…" Richard shifted back. "Your room's just the way you left it." He stood up and gently gripped her elbow. Kate leaned back, giving a small smile that Simon recognized as her usual defiance.

"I got it, dad."

She stood up and moved with him out of the kitchen. Again, Simon followed in silence as they moved back towards the entrance where a grand landing of stairs met the marble floor, travelling up in a spiral to a loft that hovered over the room. Beyond the landing, the house opened up into a massive living room lined with couches, tables, and bookshelves. He could see figures standing attentively in the corners of the room, their temples glowing yellow as they looked towards him. With a nervous jolt, Simon glanced down at the floor and avoided their gaze.

He followed Richard and Kate up the stairs and into an open sitting area which had two branching hallways. They moved down one of them, and finally stopped in front of a door at the end of the hall. Kate seemed to hesitate, one arm gripped on her elbow and her head bowed. Richard moved in front of her and opened the door for her.

"Do you need me to help you? Want me to bring you something later?"

Kate shook her head. "I'm good. Thanks." She cast a glance at Simon, her eyes lit in a nervous energy, then she moved into the room. Simon moved after her. Before he could stop himself, he looked at Richard as he passed him. The look Richard gave him seemed to freeze the thirium in his heart. He didn't know why. Richard's gaze was calm and gentle, his hazel eyes bright under his thick eyebrows. But there was something intelligent behind his gaze. It was as if he knew everything that Simon and Kate had done simply by looking at him.

Simon lowered his gaze as he stepped past him, entering the room. He felt a swell of relief when the door clicked closed behind him.

The relief at finally being alone was overtaken by his surprise at the room he was in. For a moment, he wondered if Richard had made a mistake. It was generous in size, although every wall and every corner was occupied comfortably by furniture. A large wooden bed rested in the center of the wall between two tall windows covered by yellow curtains. Next to it was a heavy dresser topped with an old stereo and cluttered with magazines. A bright yellow couch sat at the foot of the bed facing a television which hung on the wall over a computer desk. Several guitars rested in the corner, and along the last wall were bookshelves. So many shelves packed so thickly with books that some were nearly falling out onto the floor.

It took Simon a while to notice that Kate had moved to the computer desk, running her hand along the items almost in a trance. Her fingers skimmed over what looked to be a journal, and then over a picture frame. Simon had only a glimpse of it before she slammed it facedown, letting out a heavy sigh. Then she turned towards him, throwing a glance around the room and running her hand over her face.

"Christ, I forgot how much I used to like yellow," she said.

Simon wasn't sure what to say. He didn't even know if he should move. It felt as though he was never meant to see this. At the same time, he couldn't help but curiously examine everything from where he stood, each new item giving him new enlightenment towards the person he thought he'd known so well. Several dragon sculptures lined her desk, as well as what looked to be several hand-made mugs, necklaces, and scarves made by a child. One particular spot on the dresser was cleared for a flat wooden box lined with a round mat, a small female warrior figurine standing in the middle and surrounded by several oddly shaped dice. More than a few of the bookshelves were dedicated to what appeared to be cultist symbols, a planchet, and energy-measuring devices.

Kate moved in front of him as she headed towards the bed, gaining Simon's attention again. He watched as she rested a hand on one of the wooden posts, pausing a moment as if giving herself a chance to accept it was real. Her brown hair was over her face, obscuring her expression. Then she twisted slightly and lowered herself down onto the yellow sheets, drawing up her knees and facing away towards the opposite wall.

Simon stood frozen, still unsure of what to do. Everything felt so uprooted. So out of control. He didn't know what this place was and had no way of knowing what to expect. And despite the fact that Kate was finally in what she felt was a safe environment, he couldn't help but worry that what she'd lost what he'd found in her when they were alone together at her house. It all felt so different. As if it all happened ages ago. The things he was seeing in this room belonged to someone else. This was a person who existed before he was even built. Without knowing why, the thought unnerved him.

He stared at the floor, attempting to gather his senses. It was difficult to take it all in so fast. He had to remind himself that they needed to be here. As long as no one knew where they were, they were still safe. Even if it meant he was losing part of the life they'd had before.

Kate shifted on the bed, catching Simon's attention again. He felt himself let out a startling breath of laughter before he could stop himself. She was holding her hand out to him.

He moved forward and took it, letting her pull him into her as he lowered himself down behind her. He clasped his hand against her chest and rested himself in the curve of her neck, letting that satisfying closeness sweep over him. She shifted further against him so that she seemed to lock her body into the shape of his, smoothing her hand over his arm. Her touch seemed to melt his fears away, bringing back some of his assurance. They were here together, albeit in pieces, but still together.

Kate was asleep in minutes, the soft rising and falling of her shoulders in rhythm with her breathing. Simon gently ran his hand along her arm up to her shoulder, taking in her vulnerability. He didn't know what to expect. He didn't know who these people were that he'd brought her to. And he didn't know who the person was that had occupied this room before.

He'd survived unimaginable change once already. And as he relaxed against Kate's back, wrapping his arm carefully around her, he accepted that he would more than likely have to face it again in the coming days.


	21. Chapter 21: Taylor

Kate's head was pounding when she woke. For a moment, she wasn't sure if her eyes were open or closed. Everything was dark around her. She half-expected to see the trees and buildings flashing by her and the rumble of the car creating an unsettling feeling of turmoil. Here, everything was quiet and stable. But there was also a sense of terrible dread. She was in her old bed in the room she swore she'd never set foot in again.

With an almost panicked reflex, she reached behind her. A breath of relief escaped her as she felt him raise himself against her back, his hand brushing over her shoulder.

"I'm here," said Simon.

Kate ran her hands over her face as she rolled onto her back, the pounding in her head slowing a bit. "What time is it?"

"3:09 A.M."

She rested her hands on her chest as she stared at the ceiling, the details of the room slowly coming into colorless focus. "I was hoping I'd sleep longer than that." She looked next to her even though all she could see in the dark was the round blue light from Simon's LED and the smooth crack in his brow. Slowly she raised a hand to him and found him in the shadows, the backs of her knuckles tracing over his soft skin. He shifted and she felt him slip his hand into hers. As her eyes continued to adjust, he came into clearer view. Even in the dark she could see that his eyes were still wide with worry.

She let out a sigh, the weight of the past few days sinking down onto her. She didn't blame Simon for being nervous. There was so much here that she couldn't hide from him. So many things that she didn't want him to see. The house was different than she remembered. It had been updated and modernized, although from her brief walk through the house she could see there were many things that hadn't changed, her room being the most untouched of all.

It was difficult not to acknowledge it even though everything in her was repulsed by it. The only comfort that the room offered was the fact that it was her own space and therefore something she could control. Although it was clear everything had been regularly dusted and washed, nothing had been moved since she'd last entered it which had been years ago. No one would interfere with them here. The thought gave her some degree of relief.

But she knew Simon was curious about it. She'd seen the intrigue through his nervousness despite his attempts to hide it. If she'd been hesitant about her vulnerability before, it was nothing compared to where they were now. This was a museum of her past, her deepest and most innocent flaws on display. She knew she was different now, but she couldn't help but feel a distant connection to everything she saw. It threatened to bring to the surface all those things she'd learned to move past and forget.

Kate rolled onto her shoulder, shaking aside her unnerving thoughts and burying her face in Simon's chest. He wrapped his arm around her and she could feel his gentle breaths in her hair as he pressed his mouth above her temple. She took a moment to absorb the feeling of being with him, as if it meant she wasn't really in this house, in this room, and laying in this bed. If for only a little while, she could pretend to be nowhere at all.

She breathed in, clutching the front of his uniform. "Did anyone come in while I was asleep?" she asked.

She felt him shift. "No," he said. "But someone did walk by an hour and twelve minutes ago."

Kate nodded, adjusting herself against him. She hadn't changed any of her clothes before falling in bed. She hadn't even taken off her shoes. As she lay there, she suddenly felt constricted as though every fiber of her clothing was too small for her. Her hair was clumped and slightly oily from constantly running her hands through it out of frustration and stress. She couldn't imagine how badly she smelled.

She rolled onto her back again and felt Simon run his hand along her arm as he let her go. A nervous hesitation burned through her despite her discomfort. "God, I need a shower."

Simon didn't say anything. For a while, she simply rested on her back and let herself relax into the sheets as if that would convince her to stay. It only seemed to make it worse, the seams and wrinkles of her shirt and jeans creating unusually tactile pressure points over her body. She didn't want to get up. She didn't want to have to look at her room, to go through anything, and leave the safety of this space. But as she argued with herself, she knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep like this.

With some difficulty, she raised herself up and put her face in her hands. She felt the mattress flex and then Simon's hand moved along her back as he sat up with her. She wished he would stay laying down. That he wouldn't concern himself with what was happening and where they were. Even as she thought of it, she knew it was pointless. There was nothing she could do to prevent him from knowing everything eventually.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and reached through the dark to her nightstand, fumbling for the lightswitch and illuminating the room in a dull golden glow. Even in the dim light her eyes ached, and she had to close them for a moment as she adjusted to it. A dull dread filled her as the items in her room came into focus, bringing with them a hint of that uncomfortable familiarity. She tried to ignore it as she stood up, the muscles in her legs weak from her deep sleep.

It occurred to her as she moved to the dresser that the clothes inside probably didn't fit her anymore. She searched through it anyway, recognizing several shirts which used to be her favorite, now filling her with disgust. As she moved further down the drawers, she was able to collect up a stretchy pair of sweatpants and a large loose shirt. It was good enough.

She straightened and with a burning anxiety, looked towards Simon. He was still sitting up, his legs drawn up, elbows resting on his knees and one hand clasped on his wrist. He looked at her as she turned to him, but she knew he'd been examining her room again. A wave of helplessness flowed through her as she gazed at him, and she felt her shoulders drop slightly. As sick as it made her knowing he was interested in her room, she couldn't bring herself to tell him not to look at it. The idea was almost as embarrassing as simply letting him browse to his leisure.

She held the clothes against her chest as she drew up her strength. Then she moved across the room to the bedroom door.

"Do you want me to come with you?" said Simon.

Kate froze, her mind scrambling. She turned to him, struggling to think. "No. Don't leave this room, don't answer the door if anyone comes, and don't let─" A nervous wave of panic flowed through her. "Don't let _him_ corner you."

Kate prepared to explain it to him, but as she looked at him she could already see he knew what she'd meant. His blue eyes were narrowed and his face was tense as he stared at the floor. He nodded, still silent.

It was hard to tell if she felt relieved or anxious. Her emotions were battling back and forth, exhausting her already tired mind. She drew in a deep breath, then opened the door and stepped out into the dark hallway.

She didn't allow herself time to be exposed. Quickly but silently, she moved to the end of the hall and slipped inside the bathroom, shutting the door behind her and closing her eyes as she rested her back against it. For such a short walk, it left her breathless and shaky as if she'd been sprinting. As her nerves calmed, she tapped the lightswitch and set the clothes on the counter.

The bathroom had been remodeled since the last time she was there. It helped her settle, making it easier for her to organize herself. It was as if everything had gotten bigger. The room was massive, the shower took up half the room, and the countertops stretched along one wall and wrapped around to the other. She couldn't help but be slightly impressed by the functions of the shower. Everything was sleek and electronic. It was also probably very expensive.

She spent far too long in the shower, the room slowly filling with clouds of steam until she could hardly see through it. For the first few minutes, she scrubbed herself with bubbles and sat on the stone seat with her knees drawn up, her face in her arms. After what seemed about a half hour, the soap had long since rinsed and she was starting to warm up. It took her a long time to convince herself to move from the spot and finally step out of the shower.

It felt refreshing to be clean and into a new set of clothes, even if they looked ridiculous on her. The mirror had fogged up so that she couldn't see herself, but she guessed from the height of the pants and how the collar of her shirt fit around her neck that she probably looked like an overgrown twelve year old. She shook her head as she gathered up her old clothes, and took another deep breath as she opened the bathroom door again.

Now that she was clean and had moved around some, the house seemed less ominous. She stepped out of the bathroom into the hall, gazing down the walkway into the dark house. Dim night lights cast tiny golden orbs of light along the walls, outlining the edges of couches, chairs, bookcases, and other objects. She gazed at them, recognizing some of them as the couches and tables she had once climbed over and nearly destroyed. A particular old chair caught her attention, and she let out a silent laugh. She couldn't believe it was still there even after all these years.

Before she reached her room, she paused and looked behind her at the sitting loft. She scanned the walls and felt her heart drop. It seemed they had finally gotten rid of it. Then a tall shape caught her eye at the other end of the hall. She shifted to the side to get a better view. There it was. The old geometric wooden clock her grandfather had built and which she'd managed to topple over when trying to climb to the top in order to change the time.

A smile tugged at her mouth and she shook her head. It was such a useless piece of furniture. She didn't know why they'd ever bothered to keep it. A pang of curiosity hit her before she could stop it. She glanced at the bedroom door, working up her determination. Everyone was asleep. The house was dark. Simon was still in her room. This was as much control as she was going to be able to get for the time being.

She set her clothes down in front of the bedroom door and moved silently down the stairs. The living room was completely shrouded in darkness with only a few blue lights from some bits of technology piercing through the black depth. The kitchen, however, was lit with a dull glow from beneath the upper cabinets, casting long shadows across the floor. Kate glanced around her as she moved. She hadn't seen any androids, and she didn't want to encounter any if she could help it.

She moved towards the wooden table, gazing at the shelves. They were covered with an odd assortment of antiques, fake flowers, and kitchen utensils. As she scanned them, her heart gave a little skip. She reached up and picked up what she had been looking for. A small ceramic masquerade mask on a dial shaped like a flowing bit of cloth. With an almost automatic reflex, she felt underneath it for the key, and wound it carefully. It clicked delicately, and then the mask began to turn.

There was no sound. The mask continued to spin and she could hear the mechanism whirring, but the tune she'd been expecting was silent. A dull disappointment filled her as she watched the little mask rotate. It shouldn't have been so surprising. She'd been so brutal with the thing in the past, winding it up so tight that she thought it would snap. Anyways, she'd heard the tune a thousand times. The hard part was remembering the words.

She put the mask back on the shelf and shut her eyes as she tried to remember them. A small smile pulled at her as some of it came back to her, even though she knew most of it was probably wrong.

"Close your eyes for your eyes will only tell the truth," she whispered under her breath in as close to the tune as she could manage. "And the truth isn't what you want to see. In the dark, it is easy to pretend…" She tensed her eyes as she struggled to grasp the words. She nodded slightly. "... that the truth is what it ought to be…"

The room suddenly burst into light, and Kate jumped. She spun, her heart hammering in her chest.

A young woman entered the kitchen, her short black hair scruffed up and her blue bathrobe hanging open revealing a tank top and shorts underneath. She didn't even look at Kate as she moved to the cupboard, throwing open one of the cabinets and grabbing a tall glass. Kate watched almost petrified as the woman moved to the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of orange juice, shoving the fridge closed with her foot as she moved to the counter. She pulled off the cap, and threw a glance up at Kate as she began to fill the glass.

"You live here or something?" said the woman.

Kate could only stare at her. She gripped her arm, fighting to get her mind working. The woman set the carton down on the counter and looked up at her, taking a long drink from the cup she'd just filled. When she'd finished, she lowered the cup, still giving Kate her blank brown-eyed gaze.

Kate worked her throat and found her voice. She shook her head. "No, I used to live here."

The woman's eyes tensed, and she set the glass down. "I recognize you. You're that girl from the news."

A jolt of nervousness flowed through Kate's body. She tilted her head slightly as she looked at the woman. "The news?"

"Yeah." The woman took another quick sip of orange juice. "The girl who got kidnapped by her own android. They said you've been missing since Friday. Does this mean you escaped?"

Kate let out a startled breath. "What─ no. No. What the hell…" She shook her head and took a step forward, hardly believing how strange this conversation was. She gave herself a moment to clear her thoughts and restart. "I'm just staying here for a while. My name's Kate. Richard is my dad."

For a second, she wondered if the woman even knew who her dad was. She was pleasantly surprised when the woman nodded.

"Oh yeah. I've seen pictures of you. When you were a kid though." She took another sip. "They're all over Richard's office."

Kate wasn't sure how to respond. She watched as the woman opened the fridge and put the carton back, returning to her cup of orange juice.

"So where's your android?" said the woman.

"He's here," said Kate. She took another step forward towards the kitchen entrance, a nervous caution building in her. The woman seemed hardly to notice.

"It's here?" said the woman. "You mean you kept it?"

Kate stared at her, the caution growing into a sharp apprehension. The woman dropped her head back.

"Oh, I get it," said the woman. She turned to look at Kate, and Kate was suddenly hit with a strange sense of faint recognition towards her. It caught her off guard, and Kate couldn't help but study her face as the woman leaned against the counter. The woman took another drink, pausing a moment to absorb it.

"You're one of those people who ran away with their android, aren't you?" said the woman.

The shock of what the woman had just said completely froze Kate on the spot. She gave her head a shake, letting the sensation come back to her. "What?"

"You know." The woman raised her cup at her. "You get an android, get really close to it, think it's a real person, the world doesn't understand, blah blah blah. Happens all the time. I knew a guy in my biology class who thought he was going to marry the teacher's assistant. Was convinced the android wanted to marry him too. Boy was that awkward…"

Kate's body burned with a nervous panic as the woman's words sank into her. She was hardly aware of the woman gazing at her.

"Don't worry though. You're not the first." The woman finished off the last of the orange juice. "Can't say I blame you. Just one more reason why androids are such a huge pain in the ass." The woman turned to the sink and turned on the faucet, rinsing out the cup.

Kate took the opportunity to draw in a deep breath while the woman's back was turned, shifting and gathering her strength back. She pushed the woman's words aside as best she could, gathering up her resolve. When the woman turned back towards her again, Kate stood up straighter, calming her heart.

"I don't know what you heard on the news, but they're wrong," said Kate. "I didn't run away with anyone. No one kidnapped me. I'm just staying here for a little while until things calm down at home."

The woman nodded, shoving her hands into the pockets of her robe. She stared at the floor for a second, and then looked back up at Kate. "I didn't mean to be so blunt like that. Sorry, I just get a little energetic when it comes to that kind of stuff." She leaned against the counter and crossed one leg over the other. "I… speak out of turn sometimes."

Kate studied her, the tension still racing through her body. Then the woman looked back up at her.

"Did Richard─ I mean your dad, did he ever mention me?" said the woman.

Kate shook her head. "My dad and I don't really talk."

"Well, I'm Taylor," said the woman. "I'm his step-daughter." She smiled, and tilted her head to the side. "I guess this makes us step-sisters."

Kate found herself lost for words again. Part of her wanted to be surprised by the situation, but it wasn't the most shocking thing she'd heard that night. She simply nodded, taking another step back from the kitchen.

"Good to meet you," said Kate.

"Do you need to borrow some clothes?" Taylor motioned to Kate's body. "I've got some stuff you can try."

"Thanks," said Kate. She looked down and was about to reject the offer, but felt a wave of humiliation at how strange her clothes looked on her. She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I might need to borrow something until I can get my own."

"Sure," said Taylor. "I'll go through my stuff tonight. Pretty sure we're the same size."

Kate nodded, the need to leave the room growing stronger the further she moved away. She gave a small wave of her hand. "Okay. I guess I'll see you sometime tomorrow?"

Taylor smiled. "I guess. See you later."

Kate turned away, relief flowing through her as she moved towards the stairs. She could hear Taylor going through the cupboards behind her again, the tapping of the cabinet doors echoing through the house. As Kate climbed the stairs, she let out a deep breath, going over everything Taylor had said. Her dad had a step-daughter. She should have expected something like that given how long it had been since Kate had seen her dad, let alone spoken to him. Her disappearance was all over the news. Again, it certainly could have looked like she'd been kidnapped by someone and taken hostage, especially after Simon had practically dragged her out of the house. And Taylor said that Kate was one of _those_ people. People who run away with their androids…

Kate stopped at the top of the stairs, that nervous panic running through her again. Her mind simply didn't want to go that direction. It had to have been a turn of phrase. Something that didn't apply to her situation at all. Kate herself had never heard of anyone doing that before. Only crazy people would think that a robotic computer that looked like a human actually had feelings towards them. Those were the type of people who were so isolated that they'd forgotten what human contact felt like and were desperate for any connection at all. Their androids weren't different. They couldn't feel or want, or deliberately reject their programming. They couldn't take a person's breath away and make them feel completely powerless and yet in total control at the same time. They weren't like Simon.

Kate put a hand to her forehead as she drew in a deep breath. No one knew what she and Simon had been through. No one knew their story. And certainly not a strange woman she'd barely met a few minutes ago.

Kate moved forward down the hallway, stopping to scoop up the clothes she'd left outside her bedroom door. She didn't give herself any time to pause. She quickly opened the door and moved inside. The golden glow of her room blinded her momentarily, and she let her eyes adjust as she closed the door. The room came into focus, and Kate froze, the blood draining from her face.

Simon was standing at her desk. He'd looked up as she entered, the bewildered expression fresh on his face. In his hand was the picture frame she'd turned face-down before she'd gone to sleep.

For a while, Kate didn't move. She stared at the picture frame, a combination of terror and confusion burning through her. Then she looked up at Simon, unable to stop the piercing look she knew she was giving him. He seemed to recognize the danger he was in. His blue eyes were wide and his posture tense as though he were contemplating running from her.

A sick disgust took hold of her, clouding her judgement and taking over her senses. She looked between Simon and the picture frame in an attempt to keep herself under control before stepping slowly towards him. Simon didn't move as she approached. He continued to gaze at her with trepidation, his blue eyes lit in the dim golden glow. Kate stopped in front of him and let out a long breath, locking her eyes with his. She held him there for a moment, letting him dwell in his nervousness a bit longer. The disgust mixed with a subtle frustration towards him. He had to have known what she meant when she did that with the picture frame. Even he should have been able to recognize the universal gesture of not wanting to look at something. She hoped he'd satisfied his curiosity.

Without a word, she took the picture frame from him. He was silent as she gazed at it, her eyes drifting over the young version of her mother, then her father, and then her four-year-old self smiling in between them. A weight hung over her shoulders, sapping the strength from her as she held the frame in front of her. Then she set it down on the desk where it had been. This time she left it standing.

She dropped her clothes on the floor and moved to the bed, running a hand through her hair as the frustration faded. She pulled the covers back and climbed underneath them before reaching to her nightstand and turning off the light, plunging the room into darkness. Without another glance at Simon, she settled into the pillows and closed her eyes hoping sleep would take her before she could feel ashamed for leaving him standing alone.


	22. Chapter 22: Dad Talk

"Sir?"

Simon looked up, unaware that he had been staring at the floor. The other android's yellow eyes were narrowed at him in a mildly concerned expression under his black eyebrows. The android leaned forward slightly, analyzing him over the center console.

"If you are not going to be of assistance, I am afraid I will have to ask you to leave."

Simon gave his head a small shake, centering himself. He gazed down at the console and tried to remember what he was doing. "I'm sorry, Commander Data. It won't happen again."

"No apologies needed, sir." The console made several beeping noises as Data tapped vague items on the panel. Simon mimicked what he was doing, knowing that absolutely nothing was happening and yet somehow feeling a strange need to do it. After a few more useless taps, Simon rested his hands on the wooden border, staring down at the confusing mess of blueprints. He could see Data glance up at him again.

"You seem preoccupied," said Data in his blank but kind tone. "May I ask what is troubling you?"

Simon let out a frustrated breath, gazing away from him. For a moment, he debated whether he should say anything at all. He let the weight of everything that had happened drive him forward, giving him strength.

"Why do you want to become human?" said Simon.

Data continued to tap on the panel as if it had been a casual question. "I was designed to replicate human appearance and behavior in every possible aspect. My hair grows, I can breathe and eat, and I even have fingerprints. I am superior to humans in strength, intellect, and endurance. However, I find that even with my superiority and similarity to humans it is still… lacking in those qualities which make humans unique."

Simon watched as Data worked. He couldn't help the dread that crept into his system. "Why would you want to be unique?"

Data paused and looked up at him. Simon clenched his fists on the table and continued to avoid his gaze. He closed his eyes and drew in a breath. "Is it worth it to be unique if you're flawed, aimless, vulnerable…" He shook his head slowly. "... afraid. Isn't it better to feel nothing─ to be nothing if it means no one would be hurt by it?"

Data was silent for a moment. Simon flexed his fists against the hard wooden surface of the console and looked up at him, pushing for an answer.

"If you are speaking from personal experience sir," said Data, "then I would urge you to see it from all possible angles, not just the negative ones."

Simon sighed. "That's all there seems to be lately."

Data gazed back down at the panel and began to tap away again. "I have noticed in my observations of human behavior that often they will focus on the bad events and miss the good ones. They can become so affected by their negative experiences that when something good happens to them, it is almost as if it did not happen at all. This can make humans fall into what Counselor Troi calls─" Data paused, and if he'd had an LED, Simon would have sworn it was blinking yellow. Data resumed tapping the panel. "─ I believe she calls it an 'impression.'"

Simon stared at him. "Depression."

Data looked up. "Sorry sir?"

"Depression," said Simon. "A behavioral disorder indicated by sadness, lethargy, decrease in appetite, accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and sometimes suicidal thoughts."

Data pointed a finger at him. "Exactly." He tapped the panel, his yellow eyes bright in what was as close to contentment as Simon could identify.

Simon pressed a few useless buttons on the console. "Do you think I'm depressed?"

"That is not my field of expertise, sir," said Data. "Counselor Troi may be of better help to you in that regard. I am afraid my own understanding of human behavior is too limited to be of real use."

Simon gazed up at him. "Try."

Data paused again. His face was blank and his body tensed as if he were putting up a deep struggle. When he met Simon's gaze, it was narrowed and wise. "The qualities I mentioned. Those which make humans unique. They are influenced by events which humans see as either negative or positive depending on what particular outcome the human desires. Without those qualities, there is no positive and there is no negative. There is only a series of meaningless events without context. A system of code carrying out a task to serve a basic function because it is told to do so. It is the only thing I am able to experience, and what you seem to want to experience as well."

Simon shook his head, the system analogy making more sense than it probably should have. "Are you saying that having the ability to suffer is better than feeling nothing at all?"

Data bowed his head slightly in a manner that made Simon imagine Data was looking at him over a pair of glasses. "I am saying that you must be aware of the context. There will be good times and there will be bad times. But it takes both to know which is which." He looked to the side and raised his eyebrows as he thought. "You need the bad times in order to appreciate the good times. If you are experiencing bad times now… be on the watch for the good."

An almost artificial catharsis seemed to be flowing through Simon as he watched Data go back to work on the panel. He let Data's words sink into him, willing them to produce some kind of hope within himself. It hadn't changed his frustration or his shame with everything that had happened. On the contrary, it seemed to legitimize every mistake he'd made in the past few days. But for the first time, he felt he was able to look forward with a somewhat clearer perspective that he hadn't known before.

There was a strange knocking sound. For a moment, Simon wondered if Data had broken something on the panel. Then Data looked up at him, his yellow eyes lit in anticipation.

"Are you going to answer that, sir?" said Data. The knocking echoed through the room again, growing unusually clear.

Simon opened his eyes.

Beams of light filtered between the spaces of the curtains which he'd drawn closed after Kate had fallen asleep. They cast dramatic highlights on the features of the furniture down the center of the room and plunging everything into an even deeper darkness. From where he stood, he could still see the pile of clothes Kate had dropped on the floor next to him and the picture frame to his right. As he straightened, he could just make out Kate's bundle of messy hair and her shoulder in between the tangled bedsheets. A sense of deferred anxiety filled him. She was still asleep.

There was another knock, and a bar of yellow light suddenly formed over the bed. Simon looked to the bedroom door and immediately moved forward as it opened wider. He just reached it when a black-haired Asian android stepped into the room.

The android stopped as Simon caught the doorknob. "Pardon me," said the android in a hushed tone. Simon leaned sideways in an attempt to block the light as he looked at him. The android held up a fresh set of clothes. "I have brought Kate some of Taylor's clothes from down the hall. Her father asked me to─"

Simon heard a noise behind him and glanced back to see that Kate was turning over. He threw the android a quick scrutinizing glance which the android seemed unable to interpret. With a nervous sense of urgency, Simon put a hand on the android's shoulder and pushed him backwards out of the room, following him outside and closing the door quietly behind him.

The android stared at him as Simon paused to take a moment gathering his thoughts. When Simon looked at him, the android straightened.

"Her father asked me to check on her," said the android, holding out the clothes to him. "It's approaching midday and she hasn't come out of her room."

"She left her room early this morning for a shower," said Simon. He took the clothes from the android and turned them over as he checked them curiously. The android had given him a slim pair of jeans and a t-shirt with some kind of logo on the front.

"Very good," said the android. "Am I correct in assuming you are her domestic android?"

Simon looked up at him, a strange hesitation flowing through him. He struggled to think of a quick response, aware of the android gazing at him expectantly.

"My name is Simon," he said. Simon noticed the android's LED flash yellow briefly.

"Hello, Simon. My name is Clark. I have been in the Hayes' service for seven years." The android smiled politely, his brown eyes wrinkling at the corners. Simon tilted his head slightly.

"You are an LM100 domestic assistant," said Simon. Clark nodded.

"Indeed I am."

"I understood the LM100 to be discontinued and unsupported as of November of 2033."

Clark straightened, and Simon could almost detect a hint of pride in his posture. "My owner has elected to keep me in commission as a statement of his work. He designed my audio processor as well as my motor cortex. You will find a few of his relics here on property." Clark smiled and motioned slightly to the room around him. "Do you intend on staying long term?"

Simon shifted slightly, casting his gaze to the floor. "We're not sure of that yet."

"Well as soon as your owner knows, feel free to contact me in order to enter you into the house's log. This will give you unrestricted access to the home network and allow you to be legally under service of the other residents here including Richard, Gloria, and their daughter Taylor. Please inform your owner of this at her earliest convenience."

Simon shook his head, his nervousness growing in his chest. "I'm not entirely sure that's…" He paused as footsteps echoed on the stairs.

Richard stepped onto the landing, casually resting a hand in his jacket pocket as he looked between the two androids. Simon felt intense caution grip him, and he had to fight the urge to step back into Kate's room. Richard looked somewhat unkempt compared to their first meeting. His eyes were slightly darkened and his gray hair was swept to one side as though he'd been running his fingers through it. As he moved towards them, he hung his shoulders and brushed a hand over his face.

"Is she still sleeping?" said Richard.

Simon was silent as he threw a glance at Clark, unsure whether to speak. Clark was staring at Simon with a blank expression, and Simon drew in a deep breath to calm his nerves. It took more effort than he expected to look Richard in the eyes.

"Kate woke at 3:07 this morning and got up to take a shower," said Simon. "She returned to bed at 4:12, although she didn't seem to fall asleep until much later. I don't expect she slept much at all."

Richard nodded, hanging his head and staring at the floor so that it was difficult for Simon to read his expression. When Richard looked up, his hazel eyes were warm and friendly.

"Thank you for looking after her," said Richard. "These past few days must have been very difficult. I'm just glad you brought her here."

Simon couldn't help but stare at him, his nervousness broken by a slight disbelief. He looked away quickly to hide it although he was sure it had been obvious on his face. Richard's voice had been completely genuine as far as Simon was able to read from it. There was an unusual amount of respect in his tone that Simon wasn't used to. Despite the kindness of the intention, it put him even more in a state of alert. It was as though Richard were treating him like a human.

Richard shifted next to him.

"Well, why don't you come with me downstairs? I was just about to make sandwiches. You can take one to her when she wakes up."

Simon immediately felt a wave of dread wash over him. He saw Clark take a step forward.

"Sir, I'd be more than happy to do that for you."

"No no no, it's okay Clark." Richard shook his head, and again Simon could hear the kindness in his voice. "I need the excuse to get this young man here by himself."

Simon looked up, his heart pounding in his chest. He didn't expect Richard's warm smile, his eyes lit in a bright energy that made him appear stunningly intelligent. For a moment, Simon couldn't decide if he was terrified or at ease. He looked at Clark again as if expecting him to take control of the situation.

Clark gave a small nod. "Of course, sir. Let me know if you need me." The android moved away, and Simon felt a terrifying vulnerability take over as he stood alone in the hallway with Kate's father.

Richard looked him over for a moment, then straightened and made a noise. "You can leave that on the table for now," he said as he turned. "This won't take long." He looked back at Simon as he began to move, his eyebrows raised. "Are you coming?"

A jolt of energy got Simon moving. He set the clothes on a side table next to the bedroom door and then followed after Richard, doing his best to keep his anxiety reserved. Richard didn't look at him as they moved into the kitchen which was beautifully bright in the noon glow of the sun. The drapes in the house had been pulled back and several of the windows were open, filling the house with a flurry of ambient activity and life.

Richard opened the refrigerator and began to set sandwich items on the counter behind him. Simon stood to the side, unsure of what to do. Part of him was urging him to follow the distant memory of protocol, if anything to at least pretend to do what was expected of him. Another part told him not to interfere. Somehow Richard gave him the impression that he would tell Simon what to do when he needed him. For the moment, he seemed merely to want to tether him to the spot.

Richard shut the refrigerator and opened a bag of bread, pulling out several slices. He threw a glance up at Simon as he worked. "You're a PL600?"

Simon gazed at the counter, still unable to meet Richard's gaze. "Yes."

"You were a tough one to build," said Richard. "Couldn't decide whether to go with the i-twenty central processing core or the twelve tandi. One made you smarter and the other made you more efficient. I managed to talk the board into the tandi." He looked up at Simon as he closed up a sandwich. "What do you think?"

Simon struggled to comprehend what Richard was saying. "I'm… not sure what you mean."

"What do you think of my choice?" said Richard. He set the first sandwich aside. "What would you have picked?"

Simon watched Richard, a nervous energy burning through him. "Domestic androids don't need intelligence over efficiency. I also would have picked the tandi."

Richard paused, nodding. He motioned towards Simon. "Wish the board agreed with you there. They're always hellbent on making their androids smarter. Faster. The more complicated, the better in their opinion. Your model proved them wrong. Highest selling model in CyberLife history. There's more of you out there right now than any other android."

Simon didn't know how to respond. Despite the kindness in Richard's voice, Simon felt a powerful need to remain cautious. It was difficult for him to hide his anxiety. The idea of there being more than one of him set Simon on edge, even though he knew what Richard had meant. The statement had been odd in the first place, and he was brought back to the point of the situation. Simon forced himself to straighten, gathering up his strength.

Richard started building another sandwich. "What happened to your eye?"

For a second, Simon wasn't sure what he meant. Then he automatically reached up to the break in his eyebrow. "I was hit in the face with a baseball bat."

Richard laughed. "Well, what did you do to deserve that?"

"I startled Kate's roommate when I first arrived," said Simon. "She thought I was an intruder and reacted without thinking." Simon could see Richard's smile through his thick beard.

"Actually, that's pretty common. Can't tell you how many android's we have to repair because people think they're being robbed." Richard was silent for a while, and Simon felt a slight calm fall over him, easing his nervousness. Then Richard glanced back up at him, filling the second sandwich. "So how in the _hell_ ," said he as he worked, "did someone talk Kate into getting an android?"

Simon tilted his head. "It wasn't exactly her choice. Her mother and stepfather bought me in July of 2035. I was originally intended as a caregiver for her epilepsy."

Richard stopped what he was doing and looked up at Simon. A new tension lined his face, his eyebrows narrowed. Simon watched him apprehensively, doing his best to appear blank and uninterested.

"She probably didn't take that very well," said Richard.

Simon shook his head. "No, she didn't."

Richard gazed at Simon for a moment, and Simon couldn't shake the feeling that Richard was somehow scanning him. Richard rested his elbows on the counter. "What did you end up doing instead?"

Simon narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Sorry?"

"You said 'originally intended,'" said Richard. He clasped his hands together under his chin, giving an even stronger impression of analyzing Simon under his thick gray eyebrows. "What happened instead?"

Simon looked to the side, scrambling to come up with a believable answer. He was aware of every second that went by, making his nervousness that much more obvious. "I suppose… I became a friend."

Richard nodded, his expression unchanging. Simon forced himself to hold Richard's gaze. He wasn't sure what Richard was hoping to gain from the conversation, but the longer the conversation continued the more Simon was convinced he was searching for something.

Richard drew in a breath and broke eye contact with him. "You care about her, don't you?"

Again, Simon was surprised by the question. He racked his mind for a quick answer. "I want her to be happy."

"Really?" Richard lowered his hands, his gaze growing more narrow. "What else do you want?"

A jolt of anxiety shot through Simon. He gave his head a small shake. "I'm not sure what you─"

"I think you do." The friendliness in Richard's tone had disappeared. His expression was still the same, but Simon could sense an almost volatile energy from him. It set him on edge, and Simon was painfully aware of his own outward tension. He didn't bother to pretend to be clueless. Somehow, he felt there was no need to be. Richard seemed to be expecting this from him, and Simon found himself more than willing to meet those expectations if it meant he didn't have to be interrogated into admitting something awful.

Simon gazed at him strongly, for the first time feeling a small degree of control. "What are you trying to do?"

"I'm trying to get answers," said Richard. He straightened slightly, and Simon was subtly aware of how much taller the man was than him. "I can't get them from Kate and I would never force them out of her. So you're my next plan of attack for finding out why my exhausted, starved, and emotionally wrecked daughter showed up on my doorstep after three days of being missing with you."

Simon's heart hammered in his chest. For a second, he debated whether he should lie. There was nothing he could do to avoid answering now that Richard had him rooted like this. But at the same time he knew nothing he could say would sway Richard's suspicion of him at this point. The man was shockingly perceptive, and Simon wasn't even sure how much Richard truly knew about him. It made Simon feel agonizingly transparent.

Simon squared his shoulders and looked at him. "I'm not going to be able to give you the answers you want, Richard. I don't think you would accept them if I did."

Richard's eyes narrowed for a moment, the fierceness fading as he seemed to study Simon's face. "You're a deviant, aren't you?"

Simon turned his head slightly, confusion mixing with his apprehension. "A deviant?"

"It's what we called androids that lost connection with CyberLife," said Richard. "Causes all kinds of software malfunctions, mostly with the emotions. Turns them into a psychotic mess." He stared at Simon expectantly.

Simon leaned forward slightly. "Do I look like a psychotic mess?"

"You sure as hell don't look like an android. Or act like one for that matter." Richard leaned forward as well, and Simon found his posture undeniably more intimidating than his own. "So if you don't want me to get CyberLife on the phone and have you hauled off, I suggest you tell me what the hell you're doing with my daughter."

Simon felt a wave of panic shoot through him. He studied Richard's face, looking for any sign of pretense but Richard's gaze was iron cold. Frantically, he searched for a good reason to give him besides the obvious. Anything that Richard would believe enough to at least dismiss the idea of trying to separate him from Kate. Even as he struggled to think, the weight of reality was bearing down on him. Richard was too smart. Too insightful. The only thing he would believe was the truth, and all of it. As much as Simon wanted to ease his thoughts, he couldn't bring himself to tell Richard even a single detail of what had happened in the past week. Those belonged to him and Kate, and them alone.

Richard shifted slightly, narrowing his gaze. "I've seen the way you look at her," he said. "And the way she looks at you. Frankly, I don't care for it. If she had any idea what you are─ what you _really_ are, this whole situation would be a lot more simple. The only reason I didn't call CyberLife is because I respect what she thinks she may feel for you. I don't want to cause her more pain. But I will do anything to protect her even if it means she has to hate me for it. So I'm going to ask you again. What are you doing with my daughter?"

Simon drew in a breath, organizing his thoughts. A heavy surrender was falling over him, urging him to simply give Richard what he wanted. Richard was right. Everything would be more simple if Simon did what he should have done from the very beginning. The more Simon resisted, the worse things seemed to become. Even as he debated against it, the memory of how Kate had looked at him that night when she found him holding the picture frame burned through his mind. He had never been in control. He was deluding himself with the idea that he and Kate would survive through this together. If he wanted to keep the delusion going, he would have to accept that some things were out of his hands.

He closed his eyes, a wave of despair flowing through him. Knowing Richard was still watching him, he settled on the reality of his position. When he opened his eyes, he avoided Richard's gaze.

"I don't know what I am," said Simon. "If I'm insane, a deviant, or some miracle of technology. I don't think I'll ever truly know what I am or what happened to me that made me become this. I have no protocol, no direction or limitations. I can do anything and there'd be nothing to stop it." He looked at Richard who was staring at him in a combination of shock and intrigue. "All I know is what I feel," Simon continued. "What I feel for your daughter… for Kate…" Simon glanced away, struggling to keep his strength going. "There's no reason for you to trust me. But all I can tell you is that I would never hurt your daughter. I owe everything to her. She's my direction now. My protocol. My logic." Simon closed his eyes again, letting the feeling of Kate fill his senses. "Without her, I'm just a machine in a meaningless existence. Without her… I'm nothing."

A strange numbness surrounded him as he absorbed his own words. He was surprised by how much sense they made to him. It left him horribly empty and vulnerable now that Kate's father knew what he felt as though he didn't have permission to be feeling this way. The nervousness that had been crippling Simon up to that point disappeared, leaving only the anticipation of Richard's decision towards him. For some strange reason, it didn't bother him as much as he would have thought. Richard had every right to expose Simon to CyberLife and return Kate to a normal routine again. It was the safest and most logical thing to do. But somehow, Simon doubted that Richard would do it.

Richard breathed in deeply as he gazed at Simon. He gave a small tilt of his head. "Sounds a lot like love to me. Love is one of the strongest things you can feel. And also one of the most dangerous. It can make you do terrible things." He narrowed his eyes at Simon. "How do I know you wouldn't try to kill someone if you thought you couldn't be with her anymore?"

Simon gazed back at him, his posture growing stronger. "Kate made me who I am. I'm alive because of her, and I want to be worthy of that. I wouldn't do anything that she wouldn't want me to do. I owe it to her."

Richard shook his head, still giving Simon a narrowed expression as though he were studying him. "Do you really know what Kate wants?"

Simon stared at the counter as he considered the question. He looked back up at Richard, his eyes tense. "No. But I know who she wants me to be."

Richard stood up straighter and rested his hands on the counter, pushing the pieces of sandwich around as though pretending to work. "I'll say this much then. If you're a deviant, you're the most articulate deviant I've seen so far. The few I've had experience with were belligerent and completely out of control. Either I'm wrong…" He looked up at Simon. "... or you really are a miracle of technology. You're as close to an actual human being that CyberLife has ever created. You truly are unique."

Simon was stunned. He struggled to respond but found himself falling short of words. Richard leaned forward slightly and Simon noticed that his gaze had grown fierce again.

"But I will not let that destroy my daughter's life. I love Kate more than anything in this world. So help me God, if you so much as twitch I will have you hauled out of here and disassembled down to the smallest bolt and recycled like a god damn tin can─"

There was a sudden slam from upstairs. Frantic heavy footsteps pounded on the upper floor, and Simon looked towards the living room in time to see Kate rush down the stairs. She froze as she spotted them, holding onto the banister with her eyes wide and her mouth slightly open.

Simon stared at her, the sight of her bringing him back from his disturbing thoughts. She looked unsteady as though she had still been asleep only moments before. Her hair was bunched on one side, and her shirt was twisted oddly. She looked back and forth between him and Richard, her eyes lit in a nervous determination. Then she slowly moved towards them, running a hand through her tangled hair in an attempt to flatten it.

Richard moved, gaining Simon's attention. He'd closed the second sandwich and was putting the rest of the bread away.

"Sorry that was longer than I thought it would take," said Richard. He glanced up at Simon, and Simon was surprised to see that the kindness and warmth had returned to his eyes. "Glad that's done and over with."

Kate entered the kitchen and rested her hands on the counter. She threw an exasperated look at Simon, her shoulders tense as though she were cold. Richard turned to her, pushing the plate of two sandwiches towards her.

"Morning. Or afternoon, rather," said Richard. He leaned towards her and gave her a one-armed hug. "Figured I'd make you something to eat. You should be starving."

"Yeah, I guess so," said Kate, her voice slightly broken. "Um, can I eat this upstairs?"

Richard nodded, throwing Simon a glance. "Sure. Let me know if you want more. I'm going to be in my office if you need me. I have a meeting at─" Richard made a punching motion in the air and then stared at his watch. "─in twenty minutes actually. Just a board meeting. Bunch of old boring engineers trying to use up company time."

Kate shrugged her shoulders, still trying to comb her hair with her fingers. "Mhm. You must be the only young interesting one."

Richard let out a sharp breath and ruffled Kate's hair with one hand so that it practically stood on end, falling over her face in a hopeless mess. From underneath the mat of brown, Simon could just see Kate's mouth tensing sideways into a cynical smile.

Richard put the rest of the sandwich items back into the refrigerator, then turned back towards them. He breathed out, gazing at Simon as Kate slowly recovered. Richard motioned towards him. "I'll look into getting that eyebrow fixed. Shouldn't be too difficult to just have it replaced."

Simon nodded, apprehension still burning through him. "Thank you."

Richard gave him a small smile, then rested a hand on Kate's shoulder before moving out of the kitchen. Simon watched him as he moved down the living room and through a doorway, disappearing out of sight.

Silence fell over the room, creating an unnerving atmosphere. Kate stared at the counter, one hand on her neck now that her hair was mostly under control. Her expression was almost blank, but Simon could see she was deep in thought. He studied her, not knowing whether it was worse to try to speak to her or to simply leave her be. Her father's words were still fresh on his mind, putting him in a higher state of caution. It was hard not to feel as though he shouldn't be alone with her. That he was somehow competing now that her father understood what Simon felt for her.

Simon drew in a slow breath and looked down at the counter. He closed his eyes as he gathered his strength. "Kate, I didn't mean to─" He found himself freezing as Kate spun towards him.

"What did I say about not getting cornered?" she said.

Simon gazed at her, his heart nearly stopping in his chest. Her hazel eyes were lit in a powerful energy and her mouth tensed in a way that made it difficult to read her expression. She seemed to stare at him in a way that told him she expected an answer. Horrible shame crept through Simon's body, rendering him paralyzed to the spot. There wasn't an answer good enough to stop her from being angry with him. There was no explanation he could give. He'd done what he seemed to be doing best, and let her down again.

As he fought for something to say to her Kate let out a frustrated laugh, closing her eyes and smiling. Before Simon could speak, she moved into him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him against her so that she had to raise herself up slightly. He felt her breathe against his neck, her cheek pressed to his skin as she tightened herself against him. For a moment, Simon was too terrified to react. A combination of Kate's unreadable emotion and her father's threat to him made him feel as though anything would be the wrong decision. But as he felt Kate gently run her hands along his neck, bringing with it that familiar and tender sensation of her fingers running through his hair, he felt himself relax into her.

He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying himself in the waves of her hair. A sweet sense of safety fell over him as he felt her breathe in deeply, her delicate midsection relaxing under his hands. He'd almost forgotten how wonderful this felt, giving him a small glimpse of the passion Kate was capable of showing towards him. The worry and apprehension he'd built over the course of his conversation with Kate's father faded away, leaving him calm and at peace. He wished he could hold onto it forever, though he knew even as he thought of it that it wouldn't last. Data's advice floated through his memory, drawing up a bittersweet tranquility. It felt unusually good.

Kate's hands slid along his neck as she pulled back from him, her forehead resting against his as she closed her eyes. Simon held her sides gently as he took in the closeness of her being with him. For a while, neither of them moved.

Finally, Kate drew back, her hands still on either side of his neck. She tensed her face, then looked up at Simon with an awkward sideways smile.

"So, um…" She shook her head as she gazed at him. "That's what's called a dad talk."


	23. Chapter 23: Just a Machine

Richard had left the door open slightly, and Kate could hear one side of his hasty conversation. He wasn't trying very hard to be quiet or inconspicuous, so Kate didn't pause very long outside his office before pushing the door open all the way.

Richard looked up as she entered. He was leaning back against his desk, one hand to his ear and his legs slightly crossed. Kate stood in the doorway a moment and watched him carefully, but he waved her in and bowed his head again.

"Uh huh," he said. "You know I've been trying."

Kate stepped further into the office, gripping her upper arm against her body. After another glance at Richard, she slid onto the couch facing his desk, drawing her legs up so that she sat cross-legged. Part of her was glad he was on the phone. It gave her more time to think about what she needed to say. The other part of her was anxious to get it all out at once. The frustration was still fresh on her mind after finding Simon downstairs with her father and she hoped to channel it as clearly as possible. Some of it had been unleashed on Simon. As pointless as she knew it was, she made him promise her that he wouldn't leave her room on his own. After making him say it twice, she'd left him alone in her room to take care of the other half of the problem.

Kate pressed a hand to her forehead as she looked around the office. It hadn't changed since she'd last been in it. The old wooden desk still took up an entire wall to the ceiling, a network of cabinets and shelves making up the upper portion of storage space. Large clear windows opened into the garden and pond where Kate could see bright orange fish circling. Kate scanned the room, fighting back the nostalgia which tugged at her nerves. She wished something─ anything could be different to make this a little easier.

Richard pushed off of his desk and turned away from her, one hand still to his ear. "I could send one of my androids if you want. Just to check." He stood still for a moment as he listened. "Well, you never know. He might find something. I'll give you a call back if he does." He turned towards Kate, and she could see that his face was tense. Richard ran a hand through his gray hair and closed his eyes. "Fine, I'll call you even if he doesn't find anything. Either way, I'll call you. Okay, goodbye." He tapped his earpiece and then turned his chair so that he could sit down in it, resting his elbows on the desk and putting his forehead in one hand. Kate couldn't help her curiosity as she gazed at him.

"That was your mother," he said. "Looking for some kind of technological miracle cure that will find you. I've never seen her this desperate." He folded his hands in front of his face and looked at her. "She reported you missing on Sunday. You and your android. She's offering a reward for any information on you."

The news was slightly less disturbing than she thought it'd be. She shrugged her shoulders. "Are you going to take it?"

Richard let out a breath of laughter but she could see that he was still annoyed. "Kate, at this point I'm breaking the law. I'm not only obstructing the investigation of a missing person but I'm also harboring an android fugitive. Money is the least of my problems." He leaned back and pinched the bridge of his nose, clenching his eyes shut. Kate gripped her arms tighter against her body, gazing away from him.

"I'm sorry about all this," she said. "Dropping in on you out of nowhere, throwing all of my problems onto you, making you break the law." She sighed heavily. "I didn't want you to be involved in any of this."

"Don't be sorry." Richard leaned forward, and this time his eyes were warm. "I may not like it but the important thing is that you're here and you're okay. I'll keep quiet about you being here for as long as you want, but you know I can't do that forever. Have you thought about what you're going to do?"

Kate shook her head. "I just… want to not exist for a little while."

Richard nodded, staring at his desk. "Okay." He leaned back in his chair and ran a hand over his face, his raised eyebrows feigning blankness but which Kate knew was his disguised thinking expression. He stayed like that for a while, then breathed out and motioned towards her. "I'm going to send my android Clark to your house today to get you your clothes and wallet. Not your phone since it could be tracked. I'll get you a new one if you want. Is there anything specific you want him to get from there?"

Kate thought for a moment, a subtle dread flowing through her as she mentally searched her house. She straightened slightly. "Oh, a cat. Spot."

Richard tilted his head, his eyes narrowed and a small smile tugging at his beard. "You have a cat?"

"Well, not me. He's Simon's. And he's an android cat."

Richard's eyes narrowed at her further. "Simon owns a cat?"

Kate felt a jolt of nervousness burn through her. She clenched her fists against her arms. "I mean, I gave it to him."

Richard gazed off to the side, his mouth open slightly. "Huh… interesting."

Kate shifted on the spot to shake off some of her energy. "What's interesting about that?"

"Nothing, unless you count the fact that androids aren't capable of owning anything," said Richard. He looked at Kate, and raised his eyebrows again. "Your Simon just keeps getting more and more intriguing."

It was difficult to read him, and Kate found herself growing frustrated by it. Her forgotten anger rose to the surface and she leaned forward, grasping onto it. "Does that give you an excuse to interrogate him like a god damn FBI agent?"

Richard gazed at her, his eyes wide. "Interrogate… what are you talking about?"

"Come on, dad. Don't bullshit me. I know exactly what you were doing."

"What exactly was I doing?" said Richard. Kate let out a sharp breath, throwing her hands.

"You were─ you were─" She faltered, panic gripped her as she struggled to speak without revealing too much. "You were drilling him for why I ran away. Because if you can't control me, you're going to control the closest thing to me."

Richard stared at her a moment, his eyes narrowed as if he were studying her. Kate held her gaze, keeping her determination steady. Then Richard clasped his hands in front of him on his desk. "You're right. I wanted to know what made you want to run for three days and decide to show up here eight years after you said I was dead to you. I guess you could say I was just a little bit curious about that. What he told me was…" Richard shook his head and looked off to the side. "...eye opening."

Kate's heart pounded, and she gripped her arms tighter. "What did he tell you?"

Richard looked at her, and Kate felt herself shrink slightly on the spot. She held his gaze, the dread in her chest growing stronger every second. "He said enough for me to know why you ran."

Kate breathed in heavily, expecting more from him. She wanted specifics, but at the same time she was terrified of hearing them from her father. The way he was looking at her made her suspect he knew more than he was willing to reveal, but his sympathetic expression prevented her from believing he knew the whole story. At the same time, she knew Simon wouldn't have told everything to her father. He was smarter than that. He had to be.

Richard looked down at his desk, catching Kate's attention. "Kate, I'm not here to judge you─"

"Oh, fuck off dad." Kate clenched a furious hand in her hair and drew her legs up. "You. _You_ can't tell me you're not going to judge me for this."

"I won't judge you," said Richard. "Like it or not, that's not my job. All I care about is that you're safe. I don't care if you want to hate me for what happened, if you want to stay here and hide in your room forever, or tell me what you really think about me. That I can live with. What I won't live with is seeing you get hurt over things you don't understand."

Kate leaned forward and motioned around her. "I'm here. I'm safe. What else is there for me to be hurt from?"

Richard gazed at her, his hazel eyes giving way to scrutiny as he studied her face. "Do you know what Simon is?"

Kate let out a frustrated breath, putting her forehead in her hand. "For Christ's sake, I know he's an android. I get it, okay? The situation is fucked─"

"No." Richard leaned forward, clasping his hands together under his chin. "Do you know what he _really_ is?"

Kate froze, a combination of shock and confusion holding her in place. She stared at him, several uncertain answers floating through her head. She didn't quite understand the question. He hadn't said it in a way that he expected her to be able to answer. The look on his face made her more and more uneasy. It brought to light the doubts she'd been burying for weeks. The silent questions she'd ignored since she first began to wonder if Simon was really an android. They worried and intimidated her, threatening to destroy every positive feeling she'd experienced so far. Now that her father was looking at her like this, she felt for the first time she wouldn't be able to escape it.

Richard shifted in his chair, lowering his hands. "He's a system anomaly with no programming or software. No connection to CyberLife, and no regard to protocol. Whether that's caused by a malfunction or a virus, we really aren't sure. What we do know is that it makes the android unpredictable, even violent. There's nothing telling them what to do anymore, so their emotions run wild and make their behavior erratic. They might even think they have wants and needs like humans because their system is struggling to create direction from nothing. It makes them… uncannily human. We called these androids deviants."

Kate absorbed his words, the sensibility of it almost making her immediately reject it. She shook her head and stared at the desk, a numb sensation flowing through her. "What…" She struggled for a moment to keep herself under control. "What makes you think Simon is a deviant?"

Richard's expression didn't change. It made his posture a bit more intense. "He thinks he's in love with you, Kate."

It felt as though a pit had formed in the bottom of her stomach. Kate drew in a sharp breath and put her face in her hands in a pitiful attempt to hide her shock. A cascade of so many conflicting emotions was piling up in her mind so that she didn't even know where to begin to acknowledge his statement. Hearing it out loud solidified what she thought she'd been feeling for the past week, but from her father it tore down every bit of confidence she'd been holding on to. Simon _thought_ he was in love with her. As if he was mistaken. As if the way he forced her mother out of the house, how he'd taken Kate in her vulnerability, and then risked everything by running from the android with her had been some kind of software error. It couldn't be that simple. There was so much more to him than that.

Even as she argued it in her mind, the nagging doubt continued to build. She'd been running from this for so long. Fooling herself into believing that the laws of reason didn't apply to them. There was nothing miraculous about what had happened. Nothing magical. It had all happened for a reason. The android had tried to explain it to her, and now her father was attempting to do the same thing. If she ran from this again, it would only hunt her down until she was forced to accept it. There was no point in continuing to hide from it. Not if it was the truth.

Kate pressed her hand to her eyes, a soreness growing in her throat. She heard her father shift again in his chair. "Kate… I don't have the right to assume I know what you're going through. I would never force you to do anything that you don't want to do. You're my daughter. I love you and I would do anything to keep you safe." There was a slight creak and Kate looked up to see Richard leaning forward in his chair. "But I can't keep you safe if you're with that android. And I mean that in the strictest sense. You're dealing with something that has no limitations, no moral compass, nothing to stop him if he decides he's going to get what he thinks he wants. This isn't just some program that's gone wrong. This is an emotional, unstable, unpredictable machine with the full power of CyberLife technology behind him. I don't think I'm overstating it when I say you're in danger every second you spend with him."

Kate breathed deeply, a frantic electric terror burning through her. She gazed down at the desk, unable to look her father in the eye as she shook her head. "He's not dangerous. I know him. He's not like that."

"You can't possibly know what's going through his head. There are different levels of deviancy. I've seen deviants attack humans, attack eachother, and even destroy themselves. It happens in the blink of an eye. There's no way to control it."

Kate pressed her hands to her forehead. "He wouldn't hurt me. He would never hurt me."

"Look what's happened already, Kate. Look at the position you're in. You were missing for three days, hiding God knows where starving and exhausted, and now you're choosing to hide from the law, your friends and your family. What's he going to do if you were found? What would he do if the police tried to take him from you? What would he do if you told him to leave?"

"I don't know…" Kate found her voice shaking.

"What would he do if he thought he had to fight in order to keep you? Do you think he would kill in order to keep what he wants?"

"I don't know. I don't know. _I don't know!"_ Kate straightened, her body trembling. Richard gazed at her with narrowed eyes, his face lined with a combination of seriousness and deep concern. It made Kate sick to her stomach. She breathed in deeply, struggling to make her thoughts form some kind of order. With another frustrated sigh, she leaned back in her seat, looking away from him as she felt her throat catch. "I don't know what he would do."

Richard was silent for a moment. Kate stared sideways out the window at the garden, unable to meet his gaze.

"Kate, I want to help you," said Richard. "Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it. Just tell me what you need."

Kate watched the circling fish in the pond, a dull ache flowing through her. She focused on their movement as she let it slowly take over. "I need to think."

She could see Richard nod out of the corner of her eye.

"Okay," he said.

The silence didn't help. If anything, it made the world around her grow even heavier. Kate gripped her arms tightly around her legs and scanned the garden, willing the situation to resolve itself. It all had to fall into place. It had to just sink in. There was nothing keeping her from recognizing reality except her own irrational feelings. And she needed to accept reality. If she didn't, she could guarantee she would be back in this same situation again, if not worse.

She couldn't do it in front of her father. The longer she tried to force her mind to work, the more exposed she felt. She could almost feel his eyes on her, analyzing the tiniest details of her expression and body language. After a few minutes of struggling, she finally relaxed her arms around her legs, bringing the sensation back to her muscles. With more difficulty than she expected, she stood up from the couch, still avoiding Richard's gaze. He didn't say anything as she moved out of the office in an almost trance-like state. She ran a hand over her face as she entered the living room, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath. She had no idea how to begin the process of breaking down everything he had said. Everything she had suspected but been avoiding. It all kept coming back to a dark result that she couldn't bear to approach. One that she knew she was inevitably headed towards no matter what choice she made.

She moved up the stairs, running a hand through her hair to root herself further into reality. She climbed slowly and steadily, pausing at the top to give herself time to consider what she needed to do. After a while, she moved forward and stopped outside her bedroom door. She reached for the door handle but stopped inches from it, clasping her hand into a fist and pressing her hand to her mouth. He was waiting for her inside. He would probably have a lot of questions. A deep shame burned through her as she stared at the door. She couldn't do this with him. Not right now when she was the most uncertain she'd ever been.

Kate turned and moved back down the hallway into the sitting area. She ran her hands through her hair again as she rotated on the spot, looking for any place that she had any hope of finding comfort. Finally she moved down the opposite hallway, pausing in front of a door that she recognized. She hoped it was still the same room as it was before. When she opened it, she was met with an agonizingly familiar sight. The same bookcases lined the walls, the same couches filled the spaces in between, and even the same curtains filtered the golden light from the setting sun. It offered her the smallest degree of peace.

She slid onto a couch, drawing her legs up and putting her forehead in her hand. This silence was much easier to deal with. It cleared her mind, allowing her to repeat everything her father had said to her. She closed her eyes as she let his logic contrast what she thought she'd seen. Everything had happened so quickly and yet it felt like years since she'd been walking with Matt and Jamie through the college campus with Simon following silently behind them. It felt like a different world. A different Kate. And a different Simon.

That life was gone. She was here now, hiding in more ways than one in a world she swore she'd never go back to. Through the choices she'd made, her own weakness in allowing her emotions to get the better of her, she'd let herself to get to this point. All because she believed in what she was feeling. She felt wanted. Needed. Loved. By something that wasn't supposed to be capable of feeling any of those things. It was the most delicious kind of temptation─ the forbidden kind that made accepting it that much more satisfying. It didn't just fill the emptiness of losing Matt and Jamie. It drew her up from the fears that had been crippling her. He'd brought her back to life.

Kate bit her lip as the ache in her throat intensified into a sore. She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to them as she felt the tears well up. It had all been vanity. A quick fix for something that she was avoiding in order to keep some illusion of control. What she was feeling for him wasn't real. It had never been real, and there was no way for it to be real because he wasn't a person. He was an android. A machine.

She couldn't help it as her breath shook, and she hastily wiped away a tear as it slid down her cheek. Terrible, disgusting shame burned through her as she repeated it to herself. He was an android. A malfunctioning piece of equipment that fooled her into thinking that he was something special. Kate drew in a deep breath, letting it out into a harsh sob. He was a machine. She needed to accept it. He was a machine and that was all.

"Ms. Hayes?"

Kate shot up in her seat, shock flowing through her. She looked up, wiping her face clean. A dark-haired Asian android gazed down at her from the doorway.

"Are you alright, Ms. Hayes?" he asked.

Kate fought to control her breathing as she straightened. "Yeah um… I'm okay. Sorry…"

"Do you want me to bring you anything? Some water maybe?"

"No, I… it's okay." Kate drew her legs up further and pressed a hand to her forehead. "I'm just looking for a quiet place."

"Well, the garden is quite lovely at this time of year," said the android, gazing out the window. "Although it's twelve degrees celsius currently so you may want to wear a jacket─"

"No, I just…" Kate sighed. "I just want to be alone."

"Of course, Ms. Hayes," said the android. "Let me know if you need anything from me. I was just leaving to go fetch your items from your house. Your father told me you required clothes and some other personal items including a cat─"

"Hey, Einstein. She's trying to tell you to leave her the hell alone."

Kate looked up as the android turned to someone in the hallway. He gave a nod. "Of course. I'll be on my way." He moved away and Kate could hear his footsteps echoing through the house. After a few seconds, a short-haired feminine face peered around the doorway.

"Hey," said Taylor. Her brown eyes grew wide as she looked at Kate. "What the hell…"

Kate made to protest as Taylor moved into the room, but she didn't have the energy to fight. She found herself losing control as Taylor sat next to her, brushing her hair back.

"Good god, what happened?" said Taylor.

Kate shook her head as she lowered her gaze. Her shoulders tensed as she began to tremble again, and she couldn't hold back her tears. She was hardly aware of the fact that Taylor had wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into her shoulder. Kate breathed deeply, struggling to keep her breathing steady.

"I fucked up," said Kate. The reality of her own words sank in like ice. "I fucked up so bad…"

"It's okay," said Taylor. She pushed Kate back slightly so that Kate looked into her concerned eyes. "Come on, it can't be that bad. It's gonna be okay."

"I'm losing everything," said Kate. She gazed off, the numb sensation making her feel as if she was floating. "I'm losing it and there's no way for me to get it back. It's all just gone."

Taylor shifted next to her, and Kate felt a hand on her shoulder. "Is this about your android?"

Kate looked at her, surprised by her question. She knew the truth was probably painfully obvious on her face as Taylor looked at her with a sympathetic understanding. Kate looked away, drawing up her defenses and wrapping her arms tighter around her legs.

"I don't want to talk about it," said Kate. "Not here and not like this."

Taylor nodded next to her. "Yeah, it's kind of hard to find a private place to cry when this house is packed full of androids trying to serve you tea and muffins. You have to get a little creative, and maybe a little balsy. Want me to show you the best place to go where androids can't get to you?"

Despite herself, Kate smiled and shook her head. "Thanks, I probably ought to stay here."

"Well, I don't want to have to be your bouncer if you're going to be crying in here for a few hours," said Taylor. "It's not that far. It's right outside here."

Kate let out a sigh, the despair melting a bit as she distracted herself with the conversation. "If you're talking about the ledge by the balcony, I've been there before."

"Not by the balcony. Over the balcony." Taylor stood up, leaning over her as she kept a hand on Kate's shoulder. "Don't move. I'll be right back." She left the room, and Kate listened to her hurried footsteps travelling through the house. Kate pressed a hand to her lip as she stared out the window, her frustrated thoughts threatening to return. Before they could, Taylor's footsteps grew louder and she appeared in the doorway again.

"We're probably going to need this," said Taylor. Kate glanced down and saw two brown bottles in her hand. Kate shook her head.

"Really, I'm fine," she said. "I just need to think."

"Yeah, that seems to be going really well," said Taylor. "What you really need is to talk. You're obviously going through some serious shit."

Kate ran a hand over her face. "I don't… even know how to talk about it."

Taylor raised the bottles. "That's what this is for."

Kate shook her head, closing her eyes. "You're going to think I'm a god damn idiot if I tell you."

"Well, that's why there's two of these," said Taylor. She stood in front of her and held out a hand. "Come on, before you start to feel better and talk yourself out of it."

Kate stared up at her for a moment, her defiance working hard against the relief of being temporarily pulled from her terrible thoughts. Then she let out a sigh, unable to stop her small smile. Somehow the idea of someone else clarifying her situation was easier to accept than dealing with them on her own, especially if that someone had no idea of the situation before-hand. At this point she welcomed anything that didn't make her have to think, even if just a little bit.

She took Taylor's hand and pushed off the couch as Taylor pulled her up. The act of standing seemed to revitalize her, the tension in her limbs releasing slightly as she moved. Taylor threw her a smile.

"Alright," she said as she turned and headed towards the door. "Don't back out on me now."

Kate followed her, rubbing her arms gently to keep the nervous energy at bay. Taylor moved through the sitting area towards the double glass doors, opening them out onto the balcony. The landscape sloped downwards underneath them, changing from solid concrete, deep blue pool, and rolling green fields ending in a line of tall trees. Kate gazed out at the property, and for a while didn't notice that Taylor had moved to the rock fountain at the edge of the balcony.

"Best decision my mom ever made," said Taylor as she stepped up onto the fountain. "Course I don't think this is what she had in mind for it." She set the bottles onto the roof as she looked down at Kate. "You need help?"

Kate shook her head as she began to climb after her. She forced her mind to stay clear as she carefully maneuvered to the roof. "When did this get put in?"

Taylor raised herself up onto the roof, kneeling as she rotated to look down at Kate. "Probably six or seven years ago. I started coming up here to smoke. Now it's just a way for me to make the slaves lose their minds when they can't find me anywhere."

Kate took her hand as Taylor pulled her up onto the roof. The slight slant of the ground beneath her made it a bit difficult for Kate to stand up straight. Doing her best to ignore the fact that they were several dozen feet above the concrete below, Kate followed Taylor carefully to a bend in the roof which was somewhat flatter. Taylor turned and lowered herself down, bringing her knees up and facing the sunset. She handed Kate a bottle, then dug into her pocket.

"At least you picked a good time to have a mental breakdown," said Taylor. She nodded towards the sky. "You can't beat that."

Kate held the bottle close to her chest as she gazed towards the sunset. It was hard for her not to be impressed. The sky blended from dark sapphire blue to bright gold towards the horizon. The sun was a stunning orange ball broken by black clouds ringed with purple and pink. Long bars of light filtered outward, creating fantastic geometry. All of it was reflected in the still water of the river below which twinkled under the harshness of the sun.

Kate sat next to Taylor, observing the colorful landscape. There was a pop next to her, and she saw Taylor raise the bottle and take a short sip.

"It's not the best," said Taylor as she took the bottle from Kate, popping the cap off with a pocket knife. "But it gets the job done." She handed the bottle back to Kate, and Kate gazed at it as she rested her elbows on her knees. Taylor took another sip next to her, and Kate saw her motion towards her. "It doesn't work if you don't drink it though."

Kate turned the bottle in her hand as she hesitated, then brought the bottle up to her mouth. She didn't know what she expected, but it wasn't the battery acid that nearly burned her throat. She coughed and wiped her mouth, forcing most of it down. Taylor laughed next to her.

"It's called fireball whiskey," said Taylor. "Take it in small sips. You're not quite ready to chug it yet I think."

Kate breathed out, sighing and feeling her throat instantly dry up. She tensed her face as she recovered from the taste. "I've never had alcohol before."

Taylor made a noise as she lowered her bottle. "Why the hell not?"

"Never saw the point," said Kate. "People said it tastes like shit." She took a cautious sip, the burning at a minimum this time. "They were right."

"You don't drink it for the taste," said Taylor. "The only people who drink alcohol for the flavor are middle class white girls who need an excuse to get laid with no attachments." She was silent as she gazed at the sunset, and Kate found herself doing the same thing. The sun was sinking low towards the waterline, creating a golden shimmer across the black ripples. The familiar nervousness was rising in her chest again, bringing with it a hint of her previous ordeal. Kate took another sip from the bottle, her stomach nearly sizzling from ingesting the liquid. If it was supposed to help, it was taking its time.

As if on queue, Taylor let out a long breath next to her. "So… what happened with your android?"

Kate clenched the bottle in her hand, staring down at the deep black water. For a while, she struggled to come up with different vague answers if at least to put off talking about the truth. Each one dragged up new levels of frustration, shame, and confusion, building on top of eachother so that the longer she hesitated, the worse she felt. She took a larger sip from the bottle than she intended, and forced the alcohol to stay down. "I ran away with him. Just like you said. I ran away with my android."

It had come out easier than she thought it would. And somehow it left her feeling less horrible and more solid within herself. She breathed in deeply, turning the bottle around in her hand. At the edge of her vision, she saw Taylor nod.

"And now you're realizing what a dumb mistake it was," said Taylor.

Kate let out a miserable laugh and shook her head. She took a quick drink from the bottle, feeling her hands and fingers slowly warm up. "It felt so right at the time. Like it was the only thing that made sense. I just… wanted to feel like something was going right."

"Well." Taylor stretched her legs out in front of her and leaned back on her elbows. "It really isn't all that bad. I mean, you're here at your dad's getting help and figuring things out. There's really nothing you can't do to get your life back on track. I mean, unless you killed someone. You didn't kill anyone, did you?" Kate looked sideways and met Taylor's playful gaze. Taylor shrugged. "Just had to ask."

Kate stared down at the roof tiles, taking more effort than she expected to draw up what had happened in the past week. "I pushed people away. People that were really close to me, that I thought I had a future with. Even if I went back home now, there's nothing I could do to fix what I did to them. They're just… gone now."

Taylor was silent for a moment. "Well, who says you need to get your old life back?"

Kate looked up at her, the statement surprising her. Taylor crossed her legs in front of her and raised her hands slightly. "I'm just saying, if your old life is really that messed up, why not start again here? Pretty sure your dad won't care, you've already got your room, and if you're looking for friends, hell I've got plenty."

Kate shook her head. "I moved out of here thinking I was making an improvement on my life. Coming back here just feels like I'm a miserable failure."

"You kind of are a miserable failure," said Taylor. "I mean, look at you."

Kate laughed, an invisible weight seeming to lift from her shoulders. She took another sip from the bottle. "God I wouldn't even know where to start putting my life back together. It's been so long. The only people I knew from this area were back when I was a kid."

"If you want, I could bring you with me to one of our events," said Taylor. "Might be really good for you, you know… considering that you ran away with an android. Our organization's called SoulState. It's an anti-android group."

Kate glanced at her, unable to stop her cynical smile. "Anti-android? How the hell does that work?"

"We just think if something's going to have unlimited knowledge in the universe and have control over every aspect of our lives, it probably shouldn't have two legs and two arms and look like us," said Taylor. "We have podcasts, make YouTube videos, hold debates on campus, that sort of thing. We're gaining more supporters every week."

Kate stared in silence, a sweeping revelation falling over her. She sat up straighter, gazing closely at Taylor's features. "I saw you at a protest. Two months ago at Detroit University."

Taylor shrugged. "Well, we tried. Campus police ran us off after about twenty minutes. Said we were obstructing the walkways." She stared down at her bottle before taking a drink from it. "As if all the android stations and extra foot traffic aren't enough of an obstruction. Taking jobs, invading our personal lives, confusing the shit out of people." Taylor motioned towards Kate. "Making us run off with them and hiding from the police."

Kate shook her head, gazing out at the deepening sun as she absorbed her words. "I can't just…" She sighed, pressing the bottle against her forehead. "He's… Simon made me feel different. I wanted to feel like I mattered to someone just for being myself. Not because they thought it was their job or they were guilted into it but because they actually wanted it. He made me feel like he really wanted me." Kate stared down at the roof, struggling to catch her breath. "I can't convince myself that it wasn't real."

Kate could see Taylor nod as if she were thinking. "Well, it's not real," said Taylor. "Like it or not but everything you think he might feel for you all comes down to the fact that he's just a machine. No matter what he's said, what kind of puppy eyes he's made at you, there's no soul there. No life. Just a line of code behind a program that a bunch of idiots in a factory put there." She kicked a twig so that it tumbled down the roof and fell over the edge.

Kate took another strong drink from the bottle, feeling herself loosen up a bit. "But what if it wasn't a program? What if he really could think for himself and make his own decisions?"

Taylor looked sideways at her. "But androids can't…"

"I'm just saying," said Kate. "What if he could?"

Taylor gazed off, her eyes narrowed. "I guess it still doesn't dismiss the fact that he's a piece of plastic with no soul. He's not a human, Kate. He'll never be a human. As fun as the sex might be, you're never going to get the same satisfaction and security as you would with a real actual guy. Or girl for that matter."

Kate felt her face flush, dampened by a surprisingly numb placid feeling. She raised the bottle to her mouth and took several deep gulps, her stomach burning as though it were on fire. When she lowered the bottle, Taylor was staring at her.

"The sex is that good, huh?" said Taylor.

Kate gave her head a shake, and the world spun a bit around her. She waved her bottle in front of her. "If we're going to get onto that subject, we're going to need a lot more of this," she said.

Taylor laughed. "Don't worry, I'll let you have mine." She drank from her bottle, then threw a glance at Kate. "So… is it better than being with a human?"

Kate couldn't stop her frustrated smile as she pressed a palm to her face and closed her eyes. She was surprised by her own reaction, her skin warming up and the need to laugh becoming almost unbearable. With some difficulty, she swallowed another mouthful of whiskey, taking a moment for it to go all the way down. As she drew in a deep breath, she found her normal defenses falling away. "I don't know. He's the only one I've ever…"

Taylor gazed at her, one of her black eyebrows raised. "... had sex with?"

"Anything with," said Kate. "I had so many chances with a guy I knew. He tried so hard to be with me. I mean, he took advantage of every opportunity, tried to kiss me on my birthday, got me alone on Christmas. I should have just done it. It was so perfect. But I just never felt like I could be myself with him. I was always trying to hide everything from him. Make him think I was someone else." She gripped the whiskey bottle tightly, her fuzzy mind debating whether she should keep going. She let out a breath. "But with Simon, I feel safe. With him, I feel like I know myself and I don't have to be ashamed of it. He doesn't judge me, he doesn't question me, he just accepts me. Everything about me, the fucking mess that I am." She looked up at Taylor who had a narrowed expression. "He loves me, Taylor. I know he's just a piece of plastic with some software attached, but he's a piece of plastic that loves me. And it's taking everything in me to not love him back."

Taylor looked at her, her form becoming more blurry as darkness crept over the landscape. She raised herself a bit higher. "Take another drink."

Kate looked down at her bottle, wobbling slightly. "I'm starting to feel sick."

"You need to hear this," said Taylor. She rested her hands on her knees as she gazed at her through the fading light. "You're never going to have a future with an android. You're a human, he's a machine. Whatever you think he 'feels' for you is just a temporary fix compared to what you deserve with a real human. It's probably why you feel so safe with him, because you know he's not real so in the end it doesn't matter what you do. If you find yourself a guy, or you say it's over, or hell if you even want to get a hotter android, all you have to do is shut him down and go for it. You can't do that if you're with someone who's real. You're missing out on something that's really amazing because you're too afraid of the truth to go for it, so you're settling on a fantasy."

Kate bit her lip as Taylor's words funneled through her brain. She raised the bottle to her mouth to take a sip only to find a few drops left. Something was clawing at the edges of her thoughts, warning her that she needed to think. What Taylor had said was important, and she had a solid response to it but found it buried underneath a layer of doubt. As she struggled to hold onto it, she found herself letting go and floating in a haze of unorganized thoughts. She ran a hand across her face, feeling as though her arm was about five feet longer than it should be. Taylor shook her head next to her.

"Don't cut yourself off from the real thing just because you think what you've got is good enough," said Taylor. "You're settling for the worst kind of connection. Give humans a chance."

Kate dropped her head back and closed her eyes. "People suck and they're too much work."

"I don't know," said Taylor. "That guy you mentioned sounded like he was pretty easy. Why don't you just get with him?"

Kate let out a breath, sinking lower to the rooftop. "He's fucking my roommate."

Taylor snorted. "Oh, sorry."

They were both quiet for a moment, the soft sounds of the trees rustling in the wind filling the space. Without knowing why, Kate found herself smiling. She heard Taylor move, and then Taylor's soft chuckling spurred Kate to laugh. She leaned forward and put her forehead in her hands, her body seizing up as she laughed uncontrollably. It was unusually pleasant to have something so miserable transformed through the filter of alcohol into blind humor. But as she laughed with Taylor, she felt it was a good exchange. There were only two ways to approach this. Crying about it didn't seem to be as enticing.

Kate wiped her face, throwing her hand sideways as she felt herself nearly fall over. "Your sympathy skills are total shit."

"Yeah, well your… not-dating-android skills are total shit," said Taylor. "Don't worry, we'll cure you of your robosexualism."

Kate shook her head as she laughed. She brought the bottle up to her mouth again, forgetting it was empty. "I don't think I need to be cured."

"Yeah you do," said Taylor. Kate felt something clap her shoulder. "We're going to find you the hottest guy─"

Kate breathed out an awkward laugh. "Nope."

"─ you're going to have the best sex of your life─"

"Nah."

"We can take your android out back and just beat his face in─"

"I think I love him."

"Kate," said Taylor. "You don't love him."

Kate smiled as she nodded. "I love him."

"Look." Taylor pointed at her with her bottle still in hand. "We've been over this, missy."

Kate took the bottle from her and handed her the empty one, taking a deep drink. When she lowered it, Taylor's face was swimming in several different perspectives. Kate pointed back at the nearest one. "I…" She took a deep breath. "... am so in love with him. I'd r─r─runnn away with hmm 'gain if I could."

"Yeah…" Taylor gently took the bottle back from her. "Sure. You'd run away with him."

"We'd go s'mwhere no one could find us," said Kate, gesturing far too obviously.

"Yep, because that worked out fine before," said Taylor.

"And it'd j'st be him 'n me. Me 'n him."

"Yeah."

"Alone. Together f'rever."

"Or you could just let me take him out back and shoot him in the head."

"Nah." Kate shook her head. "Don't shoot 'm in the head."

"Okay, you could shoot him in the head."

"I don't even know how to shoot."

She felt something shake her shoulder, and the world spun for a moment. Something glinted in front of her, and Kate reached forward to take the bottle that Taylor was holding out to her. As she took a long drink, she felt Taylor lean slightly sideways into her.

"I can teach you," said Taylor.


	24. Chapter 24: Suds on the Roof

Simon pulled himself from a dreamless stasis after two hours, scanning the darkening room and unable to stop his growing nervousness. Kate still wasn't back, and he'd promised her that he wouldn't leave the room. If she hadn't been so angry when he'd said it, he would have already been searching the house for her. As it was, he was trapped in the strange prison of Kate's past, his agonizing helplessness starting to drive him into a frenzy.

He paced through the room, for the first time having no interest in the items around him. It was difficult for him not to assume what was happening outside. Kate hadn't told him what she was doing, but he was almost positive she'd gone to speak to her father. At first, the thought had made him anxious. Richard clearly preferred that Simon wasn't with Kate, and that Kate stayed at her father's if not indefinitely then at least long enough for Kate to consider the house home. But Simon reassured himself that there was nothing Kate could learn from her father that she didn't already know to some degree. The android at her house had spoken about deviancy before, and she'd chosen Simon over logic. He had to believe she'd do the same again.

As the windows turned black, Simon moved from corner to corner in an attempt to calm his nerves. He ran his hands over his face and breathed out, trying and failing to focus on something other than what Kate was doing. He checked the time again even though he knew exactly how many minutes it'd been since he last checked it. 7:26 PM. It was now three hours since she'd left the room. Apprehension burned through him and he moved again, walking in a slow circle in front of the bed. There had to be something he could do as long as it didn't involve leaving the room. His restlessness was nearly driving him insane.

He paused in the middle of the room, closing his eyes and running a hand through his hair. If she wasn't back by 9:00 PM, he would go looking for her. It meant breaking his promise, and she would be angry with him, but he needed to know that she wasn't in danger or had decided to do something rash. Nothing would make her stay away from the safety of her room for this long unless something serious had happened. He tensed his eyebrows as the uncomfortable possibilities flashed through his mind. Perhaps it would be better to search for her at 8:00 PM. Four hours gone was no better than five. She would have to understand. He could deal with her anger if it meant he could be confident in her safety.

He stood still, giving himself a moment to avoid constantly pacing. A subtle doubt was stirring under his anxiety. He couldn't avoid the nagging thought that coming here had been a terrible idea. It wasn't just the ominous presence of Kate's father, the risk of CyberLife discovering them through any of the countless androids on the property, or the strange environment that Simon was forbidden to look at. It was Kate's frequent frustrated expressions towards him. How she hadn't invited him to lay with her. That her behavior towards him was more like he was an annoyance that she had to deal with. He couldn't help but worry that he was slowly losing her.

His anxiety got him moving again, and he walked around her bed. He needed to talk to her. He had to convince her that nothing had changed for him. That she was still his guiding light in the void of endless possibilities. She'd believed in it before when there was no reason for her to accept him. As Simon walked around her bed for the hundred and thirty-third time, a pit of dread filled him. He had no idea how he convinced her the first time. It had been so natural. So clear to him. Now he couldn't even imagine where to begin again.

There was a knock at the door, and Simon froze. His system erupted in a mixture of shock and relief. With an almost panicked energy, he moved quickly to the bedroom door and swung it open.

"Hello," said Clark. "Is Ms. Hayes in her room?"

The wave of relief faded almost as quickly as it came on. Simon felt his shoulders drop a bit. It took him a while to gather himself. "No. She hasn't been back for three hours and forty-five minutes."

"Very well then," said Clark. He shifted on the spot and Simon noticed he was carrying three duffel bags. "I have returned with Ms. Hayes' belongings from her house on Greeley Street. I'll leave them inside for her."

Simon stepped to the side as Clark moved into the bedroom. He wouldn't have allowed this under different circumstances, but somehow having Clark there distracted him from his worries. Clark set the bags down in front of the dresser, then straightened and brushed off his white uniform.

"Is there anything Ms. Hayes requires while I'm here?" said Clark. "I could bring her tonight's dinner if she hasn't eaten yet."

Simon shook his head. "I don't know where she is. She asked me not to leave the room. It's not like her to be gone this long. I'm getting─" He caught himself just in time, and took a deep breath to reset himself. "─ I'm wondering if you'd be able to look for her for me."

"Of course," said Clark. "I saw her in the library two hours ago. She was quite upset. Crying actually."

Simon took a step forward. "Crying─ why? Did she say why?" He held himself back as Clark tilted his head at him, his LED spinning yellow.

"No. She simply asked to be left alone."

Simon gazed at the ground, his worry returning on top of the trepidation he felt at his emotional outburst. Clark moved towards him.

"We do have surveillance on the property," he said. "Did your owner give you permission to register with the household? You would have much less restrictions if you did."

Simon looked up at him, a new energy burning through him. He nodded and held out his hand. "Yes. Yes, I'd like to register."

Clark nodded back. "Very good." He took Simon's hand and the skin from both androids melted away to their wrists. A map seemed to spread in Simon's mind as the information was downloaded to him, revealing every corner of the house and every tendril of the home network. A database of androids and other machines was created, and he became aware of every bit of software connected to the home. As his own data was uploaded, he cautiously withheld certain information and scrambled his own serial number. Clark seemed not to notice, and smiled at him when the sync was complete.

"It's good to have you on board," said Clark as he released Simon's hand. "Let me know if there's anything else you need."

"Just… please look for Kate for me," said Simon. "And thank you for your help."

"Absolutely," said Clark. "Call me if you need me." He moved past him and exited through the bedroom door, closing it quietly behind him.

Simon immediately went to work scanning the surveillance grid one by one, analyzing each room in the house. The house was bigger than he expected. There were a total of twenty-four rooms with eighteen of them having surveillance. He searched through them quickly at first, the cameras flashing through his mind in a frantic blur. After the first round, he closed his eyes and sighed, forcing himself to concentrate. The second pass was more informative. Most of the rooms were empty and dark with only minor activity from a few busy androids. Richard was in his office, slumped to one side with his forehead in his palm as he worked the computer with one hand. Someone was in the room with him, but Simon felt a small wave of disappointment when he saw the wavy blond hair of Gloria. The two seemed to be in a deep conversation.

He flicked through the rest of the surveillance and spotted Clark in the hallway. The android appeared to be nonchalantly gazing around as he moved, peering quickly into the library before moving on into the sitting room. Simon watched the android and tried to bury the aching worry in his chest as the android moved from room to room. After what Simon knew to be twenty-four minutes, Clark spoke with another android before moving into the kitchen and preparing what appeared to be a small meal.

Simon withdrew from the surveillance, closing his eyes and letting out a frustrated sigh. Clark hadn't exactly tried very hard. Yet even his small effort was some relief compared to the helplessness of being trapped in Kate's room. Again, Simon debated whether it was worth it to leave and search for her himself. She could still be in any of the rooms that didn't have security cameras. It wasn't entirely out of the question that she was simply taking another long shower. There was such a massive distance between unimaginable danger and nothing at all. He wished he could convince himself of the latter.

After another quick scan of the cameras, Simon moved around the bed again. He ran his hands over his face, drawing in a deep breath. He'd never had such a blind desire to speed up time if it meant he could curb his nervous anticipation. The room seemed to be getting smaller with each pass he made from one wall to the other. He'd memorized every object's description and location despite purposely avoiding them. A combination of his respect for Kate's history and the memory of his shame kept him from burying himself in the library of information that surrounded him. It certainly would have provided some level of distraction and at least some relief to his anxious thoughts.

As he passed the front of the bed again, he suddenly slowed and stared at the floor in front of Kate's dresser. He'd completely forgotten about the duffel bags that Clark had brought in. They were stacked neatly, one on top of the other in a triangle order. Simon felt a pleasant shift from nervousness to curiosity as he looked at them. He'd said they were belongings from Kate's previous house. It wouldn't exactly be an invasion of privacy if he sorted through them for her, and anything at this point was better than aimlessly pacing for hours.

He moved to the dresser and knelt down, carefully unzipping the first bag. It was what he expected; mostly clothes and a few pairs of shoes. Simon divided them into stacks and set them on top of the dresser, not wanting to risk Kate's anger by trying to organize them in the drawers and mixing them with her old clothes. He took extra time than was probably necessary, picking up each item of clothing at a time and picturing the last time he'd seen Kate wearing it. He didn't recognize an emerald blouse and doubted Kate would even want to wear it. But he found the black v-neck tank top that she often wore on her days off from school. Not many layers down was the pair of loose shorts that she wore with them, and had taken months before Simon noticed she appeared comfortable letting Simon see her in them. After stacking them separately on the dresser, Simon returned to the bag and paused as a tense cascade of apprehension swept through him. He reached down and picked up an unusually soft blue t-shirt. The material was smooth between his fingers, and he held it there as he let the memory wash over him of how he'd grasped the bottom of it in one hand and hesitated before pulling it up and off of Kate's shoulders, revealing her perfect body underneath him…

He pressed the fabric to his mouth and closed his eyes, drawing in a deep breath. It had been five days since that moment. Five days since he'd been that safe with her. But for what it was worth, it may as well have been a lifetime ago.

He set the shirt with the stack of other shirts, and continued to sort through the clothing although with some degree of restraint in remembering the significance of them. He cleared one bag and set it aside, moving to the next one. The activity was oddly therapeutic, and he found himself losing track of the time he'd been so compulsively monitoring. There were a few other items that Simon recognized and guessed Clark had assumed were important. Several books, a hairbrush, Kate's laptop, a tablet, and her toothbrush were folded neatly in separate towels that had been hanging in the bathroom. As Simon gathered them together and prepared to lift them up, he felt something soft brush his hand.

A wave of disbelief flowed through him. With more energy than he'd planned, he pulled the items out of the bag and dropped them onto the floor next to him. He let out a shocked laugh and put a hand to his forehead.

" _Spot!"_

The cat was in his folded factory pose, his LED dark and his eyes closed as if he were sleeping. Simon carefully picked the cat up, cradling him gently against his chest. He couldn't believe he'd completely forgotten about him, the thought of the little android animal wandering the house alone dredging up subtle feelings of guilt. He turned the cat over and pressed a finger to the tiny round LED, holding it there for several seconds. Then Spot stretched out, twisting his little body into life.

Simon was aware of his own smile as he held the cat in front of him, both hands wrapped almost completely around the cat's midsection so that his front legs stuck straight out. Spot purred and licked his lips.

"Hello, Spot," said Simon.

A thud at the door immediately caught Simon's attention. He twisted still crouched, and lowered Spot to the ground so that the cat deftly landed on his front paws and slinked away. As Simon stood up, the terrible anticipation filled him again. Before he could move to the door, it suddenly swung open.

At first, he thought strangers had come to the door by accident. A young woman with short black hair was holding someone up with one arm draped over her shoulder. Simon tilted his head as his exposure adjusted to the dark shadows of the hallway, then a sickening dread fell over him. His breath froze in his throat, and his system seemed to lock up as the situation in front of him came into clarity.

He couldn't see Kate's face. She was slouched over, one hand on the doorframe and her other arm locked over the young woman's shoulders. Her head was dropped to one side so that her hair fell over her face in messy waves. She seemed to sway slightly on the spot as if the ground were moving underneath her and she was adjusting herself to compensate.

Simon didn't hesitate. He rushed forward without thinking, already reaching out for her. "Kate? Kate, what─"

He felt a hand against his chest, and staggered back slightly as the young woman pushed him away.

"Dude, fuck off," she muttered under her breath as she moved into the room. Kate staggered along with her, grasping along the wall and the bookcases as she moved. Simon took a step forward, then moved back again, his mind exploding with terrifying panic and hesitation. He needed to help. He needed to scan her. But he was also frantically aware of his own obvious behavior in front of a new human. Instead, he watched as the young woman guided Kate to the bed and turned, helping Kate to lean against it.

"Christ, you're heavier than you look," said the woman. "I thought you weighed about ten pounds."

Kate fell forward, laying halfway on the bed on her stomach. "Th-thisssss ain't my rum. Why's thur so mush yellow?"

At the sound of her voice, Simon felt panic spur him forward. He moved to the edge of the bed. "I need to scan her. Please, she could be having an episode."

Neither of them seemed to hear him. Another wave of panic fell over him as he watched Kate roll onto her side and stare up at the ceiling. Her face was red, her eyes dull and dilated, and her mouth slightly gaped as though she were struggling to comprehend where she was. The young woman laughed next to her.

"I don't know but that was a shit ton of yellow coming out of you just now," said the woman. Kate closed her eyes and laughed widely in a way Simon had never seen her before, as though she were faking it. Kate raised a finger up and pointed towards the ceiling.

"Thenks for helping me piss," said Kate. "I prob─ perb─ perter─" She swallowed, clenching her eyes shut. " _Pro─bab─ly_ … woulda drowned in the toilet 'n my own."

Simon clutched the edge of the bed, his nervousness pressuring him to move again. "Kate, you need to let me scan you. You're acting delirious and confused."

"That's because she's shitfaced, dumbass," said the woman. She leaned forward on the bed next to Kate so that she half rested on it. "Are you sure you want to stay in here tonight? I mean, I don't mind making a pillow fort next to my bed and tying you to the post by your ankle so you don't go sleepwalking."

"D's that happen whin you drink?" said Kate.

The woman shrugged. "Sometimes."

Kate let out a gasp and rolled over slightly to look at the woman with wide eyes. "Holy ssshhhhit. So we're… we're… like _zombies?"_

The young woman laughed, burying her face in the mattress before lifting her head back up again. "Oh my god. You're amazing when you're drunk."

Simon let go of the bedpost to move back and forward again in an attempt to settle his energy. He knew it would look odd in front of the woman but it seemed a fair exchange from simply pushing her out of the way in order to get nearer to Kate. It was painful being held back from her like this, every circuit in his body burning for the need to hold her and make certain that she hadn't had another seizure. It terrified him to see her acting so different. As if she wasn't the same person. He couldn't help the irrational fear that the Kate he knew was gone from him forever.

He paused as he saw Kate turn again so that she faced up towards the ceiling. Her eyes were closed and she seemed to be losing strength, her body sliding limply over the bed. She slipped onto her knees, and Simon shot forward with a blinding panic. Once again however, he found his path blocked by the young woman who moved next to her.

"Whoa now." The woman gripped Kate under both arms, supporting her before she could fall further. "Come on, let's get you in bed before you pass out."

Simon took another step back, reaching up to run his hand through his hair but stopping in painful frustration and pacing in front of the bed instead. He watched as the young woman struggled to push Kate up onto the mattress as if Kate were a large doll.

"'M I gonna pass out?" said Kate.

"Probably," said the woman, moving to Kate's legs and raising them so she centered her.

"Will I dream?"

"If you do, you'll have to tell me about it."

"I won't if─" Kate's face suddenly tensed and she shut her eyes. Then she brought her legs up and pressed a hand to her mouth.

"Kate!" Simon rushed forward, unable to stop himself this time. "She's going to vomit─" Something hard hit his chest, and he caught a tense glance from the woman as she brought her arm down.

"Seriously, just back the fuck off." The woman shook her head as she turned back to Kate. "Fucking walking talking dildo."

Everything seemed to freeze around him, and Simon lost all sensation. He could only stare as the woman went back to tending to Kate. Her words sank into him, and he felt himself unwittingly breathing harder as his mind scrambled to make sense of what she'd just said. He could deal with insults. He could handle physical damage. But that particular insult had been oddly specific.

Kate groaned as the woman pushed her onto her side, and Simon struggled to breath as he gazed at her. His shock gave way to agonizing clarity, and he took a step back as he let the obvious truth take hold. It took everything in him to keep himself together although he knew it wasn't enough. The suspicions he had were solidifying in his system, bringing with them a wave of despair. He'd been so worried that he was losing her. That she was beginning to doubt him and forget how he'd shown her what he felt for her. This almost certainly confirmed it. They were both exposed now, and growing ever more transparent. But Kate was drawing herself away from him. He was drifting deeper into the abyss of inevitability, and it was becoming clear to him that he was going to fall into it alone.

Simon pressed a hand to his mouth as he watched Kate settle on her side. The woman leaned over her and brushed her hair back over her shoulder.

"Sleep on your side so you don't choke in your sleep if you throw up," said the woman. "You okay?"

Kate nodded, her eyes still closed. The woman gave her shoulder a small shake.

"Alright then," said the woman. "Enjoy your hangover tomorrow." She stood up straight and stretched her back with her hands on her sides. Then she turned towards Simon, a dull frustration lined in her face. "Okay, she's all yours."

Simon looked up at her, for the first time a deep hesitation holding him back. The woman narrowed her eyes at him, and he realized too late that he still had his hand over his mouth. He lowered it although he guessed that only revealed more of his terrified expression. The scrutinizing look she was giving him was adding to the anxiety that was already surging through his body, and he looked at Kate to ease it somewhat. At the break in eye-contact, the woman began to move away. The space opened between them and Simon felt the frantic energy return. Without a second thought to the woman, Simon pushed past her and rushed to the bedside.

"Kate…" He rested a hand on her hip as he leaned over her, running his hand through her hair. She was facing away from him, her face blank as though she were sleeping. Simon let out a frustrated breath and straightened himself over her so he could run his fingers deeper into her hair, the flesh melting away from his hand to expose the bare white plastic. He closed his eyes as he let the stream of data fill him. It was slow and unorganized, with some areas overstimulated and others almost completely silent. It didn't feel like her. The tell-tale signs of epilepsy were thankfully absent, but Simon couldn't avoid the disturbing feeling that he was inside someone else's head.

He heard the door open and shut behind him, and despite himself he breathed a sigh of relief. As he did, he felt Kate move underneath him. He opened his eyes and found himself meeting her weary gaze.

She stared at him for a moment, then smiled that strange fake-smile again. "Yer in my head…"

She slid her hand along his arm as he pulled it away, the flesh color returning to his skin. "How much alcohol did you drink?" he asked.

Kate rolled further onto her back, gesturing wildly. "I had sumtheng called fire whiskey. 'S like fire. Tasted like fire." She raised herself slightly and seemed to put all her effort into gazing strongly at him. "S'mon, if anybody gives you fire whiskey…" She shook her head, closing her eyes. "Dun drink it. You pour it out. Tell them. Tell them to gota hell."

Simon took her hand in an effort to calm her exaggerated gestures. He smoothed back her hair from her forehead as he tried to bury his exasperation. "Kate, you had very strong liquor. It will make you feel sick."

"Oh." Kate narrowed her eyes as she looked to the side. "Is _that_ why I keep throwing up in m' mouth?"

Simon let out a tense breath and shook his head. He rested against the side of the bed, closing his eyes and quickly accessed the home network, sending a quick message to Clark. When he opened his eyes again, Kate was staring up at the ceiling as though studying it. He ran another hand over her forehead, his anxiety churning again.

"Your temperature is one-hundred and one degrees," he said.

"S'not too bad," said Kate.

"You're running a fever," said Simon. He shot another quick message to Clark, then shifted further onto the bed. "And you're dehydrated."

Kate looked at him. She smiled and bit her lip. "I guess that's why they call it fire whiskey."

Simon held her hand in both of his as she made another attempt to gesture. She tensed her eyes, then brought up her other hand and opened her fist in an explosive impression.

"Fire… fire…" she whispered, closing her eyes.

There was a soft knock. Simon turned quickly, somewhat surprised by the short time. With a nervous glance at Kate, he set her hand down on her chest, then stood carefully and moved to the door. He opened it to find Clark standing outside in the dark, a pitcher of water and a cup in one hand.

"Good evening," said Clark. "You requested water and aspirin."

"Thank you," said Simon. He took the water and cup from him, noting two white pills swirling at the bottom of the cup.

"Would Ms. Hayes like something to eat?" said Clark, peering slightly over Simon's shoulder.

Simon shook his head, shifting slightly to block his view. "That probably isn't a good idea."

Clark nodded and offered a small smile. "Good night, then."

Simon closed the door, realizing afterward how rude that may have seemed. He pressed his forehead to the cool surface of the wood for a moment before turning back towards the bed. Kate hadn't moved. She was still staring up at the ceiling, her tired eyes tensed as she analyzed it. She didn't acknowledge Simon as he sat on the edge of the bed, tilting the cup into his hand so that the pills fell onto his palm. He did his best to calm his racing heart as he filled the cup with water.

"Kate, take this," he said, handing the cup and pills to her.

"Oh god…" Kate made an effort to roll onto her side. "Can't drink anymore."

"It's aspirin. It will bring down your fever."

"I dun feel hot."

"Kate…" Simon set the cup and pills on the bedside table as he held onto her shoulders, gently keeping her steady. "Kate, you need to do this. It will help."

She stared at him for a moment, wobbling slightly and blinking slowly so that her eyes closed out of sync. Then she straightened slightly, and Simon helped her raise herself into more of a sitting position against the headboard. Feeling a bit more encouraged, Simon handed her the pills and cup. She took them from him, pausing before throwing the pills into her mouth and taking a long drink from the cup.

She rested a moment, her head tilted up and her eyes closed. When she opened them again she seemed a bit more focused, her expression returning to the tense one that Simon was more familiar with. It didn't do much to ease his fears. He found himself relaxing from the current issue only to fall back on the anxiety he felt towards the young woman. He looked away from Kate, the frustration building in his chest. He wished any aspect of this night would offer him some relief. Even as he did, he knew the night was far from over.

He let out a slow breath, resting his forehead in his hand. If this was considered a safe place to hide, it seemed to be doing an excellent job of the opposite. This was only the second day and he already felt further from Kate than he'd ever been. Her father was convinced he was a danger to her. The young woman clearly knew more than she ought to. And now Kate was in a place that he couldn't reach. It was all falling apart quicker than he could attempt to hold it together.

He closed his eyes and pressed his knuckles to his mouth, feeling a melancholy dread fill him. If he had any hope of a fighting chance, he at least needed to know. It wouldn't make much of a difference now, but a deep anguish forced him to try.

He turned slightly towards Kate who was now gazing at the cup as she turned it gently in her hands. "Kate." He felt a burning shame rise in his chest, and he had to work to push past it. "Did you tell that woman about… us?"

Kate looked up at him, the effort of keeping her gaze straight seeming too difficult. She lowered her head. "Us? You?" Her eyes widened and she lowered the cup. "Oh, you mean _us."_

Simon reached out and held her wrist before she could spill water on herself. A painful memory of that distant passion swept through him as he smoothed his thumb over her delicate knuckles. He gazed down at her hand, unable to meet her gaze. "Does she know why we're here? Why you're here?"

He heard Kate make a noise. She leaned back further against the headboard, then escaped his grasp as she pointed a finger at him.

"Look," she said. "I din tell her. She guessed. She guessed damn well. It was lack she was reading my mind. 'N I needed to figure out all the ssssshhit my dad said and she wanted to help. What wus I s'posed to say? 'No, I'd rather cry a river into the arm of a couch?'"

Simon pinched the bridge of his nose, clenching his eyes shut. "How much did you tell her?"

"I dunno, everything?" Kate shifted, and he looked up to see she had crossed her arms over her chest. "She had a lot of questions. Lotta stupid questions. I don' know what I'd do with a human guy. How the fuck would I know? N' what type of men 'm I into… obviously not real ones."

Simon gazed at her, the dread in his chest becoming almost unbearable. Kate was staring across the room, her expression somewhat shocked as if she were repeating the conversation in her head. He moved closer to her, drawing up every ounce of strength he had left. "Kate… do you still want this?"

She blinked, her eyes narrowing. "Want what?"

A nervous energy was beginning to burn through him as he raised his hand. He brushed her cheek and felt his heart race as she locked eyes with him, her gaze steadier than it had been so far. He breathed in slowly, fighting to keep his strength. "This," he said.

Kate's eyebrows tensed, and she shook her head. "Wull, whatta you think that whole conservation was for in the first place?"

Simon tilted his head as he nervously tried to make sense of her words. He felt himself pull towards her slightly as she gripped his arm, raising herself. She smiled and bit her lip, avoiding his gaze as she moved closer to him. When her eyes met his, they were bright and unfocused as if she weren't really seeing him.

"She said you're jus' a machine," said Kate. "That you're jus' a bunch of code and sofa-ware in a robot. She said you have no heart 'r soul. 'N you can' have feelings b'cause the idiots at the factory said you can't." Kate leaned into him, and Simon could detect the sharp smell of alcohol on her breath as she smiled. "But I told her what if you could? What if you had a soul, could love, could do everything a human could do? Because you can. Yer special, Simon. She doesn' know it, but I do. 'Cuz I didn't tell her everything. I didn' tell her I know you're a divergent."

Simon gazed at her, the last word pausing his wave of anxiety at what she'd said. "A what?"

"Div─ mmm." Kate closed her eyes. "Deva… dela… a delegate?" She opened her eyes and looked at him with genuine confusion. "What did I say?"

Simon moved off the bed, taking her cup from her. "You said enough." He set the cup on the bedside table and placed a hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her back down onto the bed. "You should try to get some sleep."

Kate gripped his arm, looking up at him. "But… but what if I sleepwalk?"

"I'm right here," said Simon. "I won't let anything happen to you."

Kate nodded as she fell back onto the pillows. Her hand drifted down his arm until it fell limp on the mattress. "You're special, Simon. No one knows it, but I do. I know you're special."

Simon wasn't sure how to respond. The aching dread had filled him completely, partially due to what she had said but also because it felt as fake as her strange smile. He didn't know why he had expected anything different. He should have anticipated this considering what he was asking her in her drugged state. Her alcohol-filtered answers didn't make his worries any less real. If anything, he only had more questions and worries now that he'd confronted them directly.

He pushed Kate's shoulder so that she moved onto her side, drawing her legs up and sliding her hands under the pillow. She threw a glance up at him, her hazel eyes glinting in the soft light. "You'll be right here? You won' leave me?"

A miserable hope fluttered through him as he stood over her. He allowed himself to believe that she was asking him something very different. Something that was deeper than the alcohol was capable of. A small smile tugged at his mouth, and he found himself brushing her hair back as he looked at her. "I'll never leave you unless you want me to."

Kate shook her head. "I don' wanna be alone. If I turn into a zombie, you're gonna need─ holy shit, Spot!"

Kate reached forward as the cat prowled towards her, his paws sinking into the soft mattress as he moved. Spot butted his head against Kate's hand as he neared, his tail flicking straight up.

"I thought… oh my god, Spot." She pulled the cat into her chest, curling up into a tighter ball. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

Simon couldn't help his own smile as he watched Kate. Spot seemed somewhat perturbed, his front legs outstretched and claws clamped into the mattress as if bracing himself. Kate rubbed her face against his furry back as she wrapped both her arms around his body, the satisfied smile on her face far more convincing than her previous ones. Simon took the opportunity to observe the moment, a brief glimpse into what it was like to enjoy the little things that didn't matter but were still worth saving if it meant they didn't always have to exist in a state of constant uncertainty.

Kate seemed to relax, her shoulders falling slightly as she pressed her face into Spot's fur. Simon moved toward the bedside table, reaching for the lightswitch as he threw another glance at her. He flicked the switch and the room was plunged into darkness, punctured only by the tiny blue glow of Spot's LED.

Simon stood up and prepared to move to the corner he'd banished himself to. He stopped suddenly, gazing down through the darkness at the bed. Kate hadn't moved, her arms still wrapped tightly around the cat who had drawn his paws back. Simon looked away for a moment, a jolt of energy pressuring him to simply take advantage of the situation. Tomorrow would be a terrible day. He knew it would be simply from what he'd gathered from Kate's drunken ramblings. If the conversation he'd had was that stressful now, he could only imagine how hard it would be tomorrow when Kate was able to focus without the whiskey lens.

He turned back toward her and moved over the bed, resting one hand on her shoulder to avoid turning her over. He lowered himself down behind her on his side, bringing his legs up so that he fit against her body. As he settled into her, he felt her shift slightly, bringing her shoulders up and dropping her head back. He pressed his face into the space of her neck, drawing in the scent of her hair which was still just as he remembered it. With gentle care, he slid his hand along her arm until it met hers, and he laced his fingers through hers from behind, bringing her hand up to her chest.

He closed his eyes as he lost himself in the feel of her, the touch of her hand, the shampoo smell of her hair, the closeness of her body against his. She didn't move or make a sound, and Simon wasn't entirely sure that the alcohol had finally taken hold and rendered her unconscious. He could feel Spot's fur flex against his hand as the cat breathed in and out. It was still a tense situation. Everything was still wrong, and it would be even worse in the morning.

But for one night, if even for the last night, Simon let himself be swept away in the illusion that he was back where he was supposed to be, and that in this moment, everything was in its place.


	25. Chapter 25: A Part of the Chaos

There hadn't been anything for Kate to throw up. Still, she couldn't understand why her body was trying so hard to make her do it. Simon's orders for her to drink water and stay hydrated offered her some relief in that aspect. After forcing down two large cups, she found herself in the bathroom a few minutes later coughing it all back up into the toilet.

She took the time in the bathroom to sit in the shower, the water turned up almost to boiling and filling the room so full of steam she could hardly see through it. She stayed there for a long time, legs drawn up on the stone seat and resting her head in her arms. It wouldn't have surprised her if she drifted off.

The events of the previous night were a blur. She vaguely remembered nearly falling off the roof, Taylor helping her to her room, and Simon in his usual state of panic. He had been trying to talk to her about something important and she was pretty sure the conversation had gone nowhere. But the foggy memory of it filled her with trepidation. There was no way she could keep putting off what she needed to tell him now that it was clear Simon was aware that she was struggling with something.

She didn't know how she would be able to explain it to him without destroying everything in the process. It was bound to happen. The independent side of her had been growing stronger, reminding her of who she was and what she wished she could be. It didn't involve sinking down with the worst of the population, losing herself in the very thing she thought would never have any power over her. It absolutely didn't involve the stereotypical drama that even the worst romance novel could have done a better job of. This used to be her greatest strength. The ability to look something in the face and remain emotionless, unpressured, and free. That was what made her different. It was what made her strong. She didn't need people, and she didn't need their classic expectations of what her life should be. She could and was disappointing them at every turn.

Then there was the other part of her. The one which was unimaginably, inexplicably and comfortably _happy_. Had it just been left at that, she could easily have dismissed it. She could find happiness in other things, or at least be able to convince herself that she was happy with them. But this wasn't just a feeling. It satisfied that deep rebellious part of her that wanted to reject what everyone thought was ideal and precious, directly contradicting the argument her stubborn side was pressing her with. It didn't matter if this was weak or shallow. It didn't matter that she was falling into the very same trap that she had watched so many others fall into, and that she took pride in knowing it could never harm her. Because this was deeper than society. It was deeper than human weakness. It was questioning the very nature of the soul itself.

By the time the water had begun to grow cold, the nausea was now a dull ache in her lower gut and the room was relatively stationary. She still hadn't thought of what to say, or how to even begin to say it. Each side of the argument had its strengths, and even though she found herself leaning towards one in particular, the other reminded her that if she chose it, she would regret it terribly. Perhaps even for the rest of her life. She held onto her defenses, forcing herself not to waver. This was as clear and rational of a state of mind as she would ever hope to be in for this sort of thing. She reluctantly turned off the water and began to dress, pausing every so often to draw out her thinking process. There was no way to make this any easier. The longer she tried to work it out in her mind, the further she backed herself into a corner. There was nowhere else to go now except to attempt escape.

She opened the door and moved out into the hallway, releasing a cloud of steam from the bathroom behind her. She walked slowly down the hallway, hugging her arms to her chest and brushing her wet hair behind her ear. Somehow the strength was returning to her as she went to her bedroom door as if the fight was gradually leaving her. The other argument was quieting down, giving her more control over what she knew she needed to say in order to fix this. This could be easier than she thought. She may have been making a bigger deal of it than she needed to be. This was who she was after all, and who she'd always wanted to be.

She entered her bedroom which was still somewhat dark. The curtains were still drawn closed, filling the room with a soft golden glow as the light filtered through the yellow fabric. It made things oddly easier to see despite the low light level, although she couldn't be sure if it was simply her sensitive and hungover eyes that were functioning on a lower level of effectiveness.

Simon was lying partway on the bed on his side, supporting himself on his elbow as he held his hand out to Spot who was circling around and around to butt his head against Simon's hand. As Kate closed the door behind her Simon looked up at her, his classic bewilderment expression lit his face. She stood still by the door, taking a moment to note how human his expression made him look. She'd never really acknowledged it before. It made his blue eyes catch the light stronger than usual, causing them to light up a bright cerulean and saturating him in undeniable innocence. She couldn't be sure he knew he was doing it, but it was more than likely he had no idea.

She let out a deep breath and moved towards the bed. Simon stood up immediately, taking a step back out of the way as if expecting her to lay back down. Instead she paused, gazing down at the mattress and running a finger across it so Spot chased it with his paws. She could feel Simon watching her anxiously, and knew he was probably aching to scan her. The thought of him touching her made the tension in her chest grow stronger. She couldn't let herself be distracted by this. It had to be done.

Simon moved slightly, catching her attention. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

Kate ran another hand through her wet hair. "Better now that I threw up all the water you told me to drink." Simon looked away from her, and she could see the frustration lined in his face.

"It's important for you to stay hydrated," said Simon. "You should try again. If you're able."

"I'm not going to," said Kate. She returned her gaze back to the bed where Spot had rolled onto his back, exposing the white fur of his belly. She heard Simon let out a soft breath behind her.

"Kate…" Something touched her shoulder and without thinking, she jerked her shoulder back before it had a chance to make her feel anything. She looked up to see Simon's shocked face, his hand lowering slowly. The deep pain in his eyes caused her heart nearly to stop. She looked away, doing her best to keep her sensible mind composed. The stronger argument was wobbling slightly. This was far from easy. And the crushing weight of shame in her chest was telling her it wasn't going to get easier.

"Kate."

"What?" She rounded on him, her heart racing as she saw him tense his shoulders, the bright bewildered look in his eyes mixed with a touch of compassion. He tilted his head at her.

"Talk to me."

The reflection of her own past emotion in his voice caught her off guard. She pressed a hand to her forehead, trying hard to keep her breathing steady. This was what she'd wanted to do. She was supposed to tell him the truth. But now that he was putting her in a position for her to speak, she realized it was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do.

She swallowed, her mind scrambling for a way to keep dodging the situation. "I'm sorry I got drunk," she said. "You should never have seen me like that."

He gave a small shake of his head. "You know I would never judge you for that."

"But I do," said Kate. "The choices I make… they affect everything. My dad would have lost his mind if he'd seen me like that. I could've fallen off the roof, thrown up in my sleep, had a seizure. I can't keep doing things just because they make me happy in the moment. I can't live my life like that."

A dull apprehension swept over her as she realized what she'd just said. Simon looked away from her, and even though he was out of her vision, she could detect the tension in his posture. He had to have known what she was implying, but at the same time she hoped with everything she had that he didn't.

"You deserve to be happy," he said, his voice strangely quiet. Kate let out a sharp breath as she stared down at the mattress.

"It's not your job to make me happy all the time," she said. Simon looked up at her, and she met his gaze which was becoming more desperate by the minute.

"I don't want to see you upset," he said.

Kate shook her head. "You're so focused on trying to make me happy. And it's like the more you try, the worse it seems to get. Maybe…" Kate looked away from him, feeling the shame bite at her chest again. "Maybe you should focus on something else."

Simon shifted next to her, and Kate felt her heart race as she unwittingly clenched her hand on the blanket.

"Like what?" he said.

Kate closed her eyes, unable to force herself to think of a decent answer. It was starting to become obvious, and the closer she seemed to get to saying what she needed to say, the stronger the other side of her argument grew. She swallowed to get her throat working and drew herself up straighter, but nothing seemed to help. Simon breathed deeply behind her, and she heard him take a step forward.

"Kate…" he said, and the urgency in his voice nearly shattered her. "Kate, don't do this."

She turned to him, the ache in her chest settling into her throat as she locked onto his narrowed blue eyes. "Do what?" she said.

"Don't push me away." The panic in his face was matching the tone of his voice, and Kate was suddenly reminded of how he'd looked at her before she had let herself be swept away by him that unforgettable night. He took another step towards her, a nervous breath escaping him. "Whatever it is, whatever you're dealing with, don't carry it alone. I'm here. I'll carry it with you."

Kate closed her eyes again, the sight of him causing a greater distraction in her heart than she could have ever planned. She drew up the resilient part of her that she'd been clinging to all morning. "I'm not carrying anything."

"Then let me help you." His voice was still urgent, although she'd never heard such a tenderness in it before this. "You know I'll do anything─ just tell me what to do and I'll do it. Ask me for anything and I'll give it to you. Whatever you want me to say, I'll say it. Just… don't shut me out like this."

Something in what he said eased the pain in her throat, and Kate found herself straightening. When she looked at him, he seemed to be stronger. His eyes had lost some of their desperation, a bright energy glowing in them as he gazed at her expectantly. He was so ready to fight for this. So hopeful that she was going to give him exactly what he needed to bring her back to him. And she did need something from him. If it meant she could avoid telling him more of what she needed to say, then she could use his help.

She breathed in slowly, narrowing her eyes at him. "Are you a deviant?"

His face tensed, partly in confusion and some part in surprise. A nervous twinge crept into her gut as she watched him look away, the LED on his temple spinning a bright yellow. She hadn't been entirely sure he would know what she meant. Now his reaction confirmed it for her. Not only had he heard that term before, he knew what it was. That meant he also knew the complications behind it. She watched him carefully, making sure he knew that she was looking at him. He'd been pressing her hard for answers. Now it was her turn to make him talk.

He let out a deep breath, closing his eyes. "Your father told you," he said.

Kate wrapped her arms around herself, steadying her nervousness. "He said you're unpredictable and dangerous. That you have no sense of direction and you'll do anything to get what you want." She took a step back from him as he opened his eyes again, gazing at the floor. She continued to watch him carefully. "He said I'm in danger every second that I spend with you."

His eyebrows narrowed as he stared at the floor, and this time his LED flashed red momentarily. His mouth tensed, and the pained expression was returning to his face. Kate's heart raced as she took another step back, for the first time feeling a hint of fear. Her father's warning echoed through her mind. There was nothing stopping him from getting what he wanted. He could be willing to do anything. To destroy. To fight. Possibly even to kill…

Simon raised his head slightly, although his gaze was still locked on the floor. "What else did he tell you?"

Kate froze, her mouth falling open for a moment. A thousand frenzied thoughts chased eachother in her head. She was about to ask him what he meant. This was some way of him exercising control over her. To confuse her into thinking she didn't know what her father had really said about deviants. But even as she jumped from one suspicious accusation to the other, she landed back on the other thing that her father had said. The statement that had frozen her breath in her throat─ that made her feel as though she were floating on air and falling to her death at the same time. The one thing that had been so obvious that she refused to see it even when it was right in front of her the whole time…

Kate ran her hands through her hair and turned, letting out a frustrated breath. She paced once in front of her bed, fighting to avoid confronting the truth. When she dropped her hands and stopped, Simon was looking at her again, his expression unchanged. It filled her with a combination of dread and terror, locking her to the spot as if she were in chains. She couldn't say it. She didn't need to say it. He already knew what it was anyway.

She clenched a hand into her hair, gathering up her resolve. Then she dropped it to her side. "Simon─" Her throat caught, and she swallowed as she forced herself to say it. "You're not human. You might think you are, and you probably feel like you are, but you're not. If you're a deviant, you're still an android put together in a factory. You run on a battery, your mind is a computer, and everything you're feeling right now is because it was programmed into you. It's a computer's way of imitating a human." She paused for a moment, drawing in a breath to calm her beating heart. "But you're not. You'll always be an android. You'll replace your parts when they break down, you'll never get sick, and you'll never get old. You're going to live forever. And I'm… I'm…"

Simon's expression was still the same. Kate wished he would do something. That he would look away or move or say anything that would contradict her. A soreness was beginning to rise in her throat at what she'd just said to him. It needed to be said. He needed to hear it. But it was tearing her apart. The horrible truth was eating through everything she thought she'd been feeling for him, all in the vague hope of some bleak future that she still thought she could forge for herself. It was like ripping the scab off of an infected wound. And this wasn't even the heart of it.

Simon drew in a breath, and the bright yellow light of his LED reflected off the wall next to him. "What else… did your father tell you?"

Kate breathed in heavily, her body shaking. She wrapped her arms tightly around her midsection, freezing but physically burning up. A burst of panicked energy made her take a step forward. "Why does it matter? Why should I believe it? I've been so confused, so lost from everything that's happened I can't even wrap my head around it. Taylor said I was one of _those people._ Like I'm part of some stupid trend of idiots that can't tell the difference between a computer and a person. I'm supposed to be smarter than that."

She dragged her hands through her hair as the adrenaline flowed through her. Simon's expression had grown more shocked, his LED now a permanent red. Kate flung her hands at him. "How do I know I'm not just crazy? How do I know there's not a million other people out there─" Her voice caught again, and she made a quick motion in the air as she felt her eyes begin to water. "─ _fucking_ their androids and thinking that what they feel is real? What makes _us_ special? Why should I believe in it?"

She breathed hard as though she had been running. It took a while for her to realize what she'd said. The electrified energy was coursing through her, making her whole body tremble as she watched him. Simon's eyes had grown wide again, his eyebrows narrowed and his throat working as though he were forcing himself to speak. He was shaking slightly, his hands flexing at his sides and his shoulders going through waves of tensing and relaxing. When he opened his mouth, he breathed in sharply and the pain etched deeper around his eyes.

"Because I love you," he said.

Kate let out an agonizing breath and pressed her hand to her mouth. She shook her head, looking away from him as a wave of debilitating sparks fell over her. She hadn't expected that to have such a powerful impact on her. Hearing it from her father only had a fraction of the effect. In Simon's voice, the way he'd said it as though he was speaking from the most vulnerable part of his heart, the softness of his tone and the strain of it at the same time made her desperately want to believe it. The part of her that did was clawing at her now, ripping apart her defenses from the inside. Kate gripped her jaw as she pressed her palm to her lips, forcing herself to remain steady.

She lowered her hand slightly, avoiding Simon's gaze as her resolve shook. "You don't know what that is."

Simon took a step towards her, but she didn't need to look at him to feel the anguish in his eyes. "Do you?" he said.

His words fueled the war on her defenses. She gazed up at him, her breath hitching as the soreness in her throat spread to her chest. "It doesn't matter what I feel," she said.

Simon's shoulders fell as he let out an exasperated breath, his blue eyes lit in a sorrow that she didn't even know he was capable of. "What would?" he said. "What does it take to make this any more real?" He glanced to the side and Kate felt a stab in her chest as she noticed the light reflect brightly off of his blue eyes. They were gathering tears. "Kate, I know what I am," he said. "I know I'm a manufactured representation of a man designed to mimic the behaviors of humans so they can believe that I'm real. I was programmed to think the way CyberLife wanted me to think, to act like it wanted me to act, all so I could serve humans better. So I could serve you better. That was all I knew. To keep my head down and do what was expected of me."

He tensed his mouth and tilted his head, and again Kate saw the glint above his lower eyelids. "But you changed me. You showed me that CyberLife isn't always right. That being a perfect machine doesn't mean that protocol is always going to produce the best outcome." He drew in a breath, giving his head a small shake. "So I stopped listening to it. And I started listening to you instead. It made you happy. I saw you smile for the first time and I knew…" He looked away from her and the corner of his mouth pulled in a miserable weak smile as though he were seeing it in his mind. "... I knew my protocol would never make you smile like that."

He looked at her again, and Kate clenched her hands into her arms as she felt herself become lost in his voice. "You make me want to be more than I was ever designed to be," he said. "You think I'm an anomaly of science. That being a deviant makes me significant. Everything that I am, everything that I dream I can be is all because of you. I'm not a miracle. You are. You did what was never supposed to be possible." His voice was almost a whisper as he gazed at her. "You created me."

Kate felt herself growing weak. She ran a hand over her arm, feeling the logical structure of her argument breaking down under every one of his words. "Simon, I can't… I can't…"

Simon looked away and raised his hand as if to touch his mouth, stopping at the last moment and dropping his arm. "I'm not perfect. I've taken so much from you. You lost your house, your mother, Jamie, Matt… you ran because I wanted you to stay with me. You suffered for days, and you continue to suffer because of what I am. I want to improve. I want you to believe I can make you happy again. I want to─" He closed his eyes and this time a tear trailed down his cheek, leaving a shiny trail. "─I want to give you a reason to believe you can love me."

Kate was breathing in deeply now, her mouth open as she stood frozen almost in terror. She breathed out, her defenses hanging by a thread. "I can't…" she said just below her breath.

Simon moved forward again, a miserable hope lit in his eyes. "I could never make you stay with me. I would never force you to. And I won't fight it if you tell me I can't exist in your world. I know I don't deserve to be in it. All I'm asking is for you not to leave me alone in mine."

She was trembling so much that she knew it was impossible to hide it. She pressed her hand against her mouth in an effort to muffle the sound of her hitched breath. He had never been so vulnerable in front of her. So clear and exposed, every weak point that she'd suspected now in plain sight. For a brief moment, she let it take her. She was worth it to him. Worth breaking every rule in CyberLife just to be able to feel her, to love her and be with her. But also for her to accept him in the same way. That was what he existed for. To know that she wanted him. That she burned for him. That she would give anything to feel wanted by anything at all, even if that person was just an android…

Simon breathed out, and he reached his hand out to her. Before he could touch her, Kate took a step back, drawing her shoulders up and feeling her stomach grow so tight that she thought she would be sick again. Her mind spun wildly as she realized what she'd done. She was still fighting against this. Fighting for the chance of having a life that didn't involve compromise. It was the right thing to do. It was the _logical_ thing to do. If she could just survive through this…

Simon pulled his hand back, making a slight fist and pressing it to his mouth. Kate's heart hammered in her chest as she watched his red LED blink, and he let out a sharp breath as he swayed on the spot. He made a noise as his shoulder dropped, and he twisted as he sank down on one knee, balancing out as he rested back on his heels. Kate's body was racked with fire as she looked at him, her sight becoming blurry. Even through the haze she could still see the agony in his face as he looked up at her, his mouth open as if he were struggling to breathe.

He shook his head, another shiny line working its way down his cheek. "Don't take away what you've given me, Kate," he said breathlessly. "Let me give you a reason to believe in me."

The other side of the argument was destroying her now, leaving her lost in her reasoning for rejecting this. Kate's breath locked in her throat as she felt herself sob. She pressed her hand to the corner of her mouth and closed her eyes. "I can't… I can't… _I can't…"_

"Let me give you a reason to believe─ to believe you can love me."

She felt herself sinking, and her knees hit the floor. Her mind was numb now, the war that had been waging between reason and passion now silent as though it had vanished completely. There was nothing to think about anymore. Time had come to a stop. The only thing she was aware of was the sense of terrible change that hinged on the next thing she would say. It was as though everything in her life was waiting for her decision, and the rest of her life was only a heartbeat away. The one in which she had a chance at discovering her own happiness and living to the fullest of what she always dreamed she could. And the one where she embraced the change and happiness which had found her already, tearing apart the fabric of what she knew to be the material of life itself...

She opened her mouth as she gazed into nothingness, feeling her world reorganize itself around her. She couldn't stay here forever. As safe as it felt to be in that moment where the choice was still vague, it was a fragile and terrifying way to exist. There was still time to change it. Nothing was completely sealed yet. The numbness was pulsing through her as if urging her to continue on. And as it did, she felt one side begin to take over. The side which satisfied both ends of the argument. The choice that would leave one of them destroyed and the other renewed in a world that didn't have room for the extraordinary.

She breathed in and clenched her eyes shut, feeling the blood flow through her veins. "I can't," she whispered. "I can't… I can't…"

She heard Simon's breath falter. "You can't what?"

Kate opened her eyes. Everything was still in a blurry freefall around her, but she could see Simon in a strange clarity. His soft blue eyes were wide, clashing against the red glow of his LED which was reflecting off the wet lines on his cheeks. His expression was so helpless, the kind curves of his eyebrows tensed and raised, and the natural smile completely undetectable in his slightly open mouth. Kate couldn't imagine his usual expression if she'd tried. None of it matched the tidy appearance of his side-swept blond hair and his organized black and white uniform. He looked so out of place. So lost in this world that made it clear what was acceptable and what was wrong.

Kate stared at him for a moment, a slight dizziness creeping over her as everything floated around her. Then she moved forward, hardly knowing what she was doing. She stopped inches from him, the numbness growing stronger as she gazed at his face. He hadn't moved, his hands still gripping his knees and his shoulders shaking slightly as he breathed. Time was trying to move again. The world was solidifying around her. Knowing she had only moments left in this choiceless limbo, she looked into his eyes, a powerful strength flowing through her.

She drew in a deep breath and raised her hand, running it along his neck and smoothing her thumb over the wet line on his cheek. "I can't… _lose you."_

Sensation came back to her. She suddenly felt more alive than she'd ever been. Simon's shoulders tensed as he gazed at her, an energetic spark lighting up his blue eyes. Time was moving forward, and the world organized itself into place around her in a way that felt much more different than it had before. It was scary and new. There would be no going back. Every aspect was settled on this new definition of the way things were and the way things should be. But it hardly felt as though anything had been lost. On the contrary, it all felt more complete than it had ever been.

Kate didn't wait for it to make sense to her. All of her focus was on Simon, every feature of him taking full control of her and driving her into an intoxicating panic. She absorbed the feel of his skin against the palm of her hand, the soft touch of his neck and cheek bringing back memories she'd almost forgotten. A sickening realization was forming in her gut. She had almost done a terrible thing. An unspeakable thing. Her breath shook as her eyes moved over his mouth, the curved angle of his face, the tense lines around his blue eyes as he gazed back at her. She'd come so close to choosing never to have this again. To never have him again. And the fact that she'd even considered it was enough for the shame to bring an agonizing ache to her stomach.

She had to make him forgive her. No matter what it took, he had to understand this reality that wasn't just her own anymore. She would do anything, even though she already knew that everything she could do wouldn't be enough. Nothing would ever be enough. But she could at least try.

A desperate burst of energy had her raising herself up on her knees as she moved forward into him, pulling him into her with her hand against his neck. He rose as well, his nose pressing into her cheek and making her body flood with a wave of electric shock at being so close to him. She hesitated for a moment against his mouth, her breath mingling with his as she let herself believe this was happening. There was a strange tension and listlessness in Simon that she could feel in his posture, his hands gripping her waist and his head falling slightly sideways as he seemed to fight for air against her. It was as though this was never meant to happen. They were never supposed to do this. She was so close to him in a way that could only mean one thing, and it had come too close to never happening again.

Simon tilted his head, and Kate drew in a frantic breath of air against his skin, that cascade of electricity falling over her as he closed his mouth against hers.

She moaned into him as she took him in, pulling herself closer to him as she held onto his neck. She didn't want this to end. She wanted to stay here forever, lost in the taste of his mouth and the way he breathed into her skin as he pressed into her. It was the first gasp of air after drowning for so long. The first sign of light in eternal darkness. The urgency in his body and the tension she felt in his jaw overwhelmed her. She'd never realized how badly he wanted her until now.

He pulled away slightly and opened his mouth, and Kate gasped against his lips as if she were fighting to breathe. The numbness was washing over her again, and she knew what she had to do. She lifted herself higher, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and closing her mouth into his. He pulled her in by the waist, and Kate felt her body ignite as he ran his hands up and along her back. His breath was sharp against her skin, and this time he didn't pause as long away from her before he took her mouth again, nearly driving Kate delirious with the urgency of his passion.

She clenched her hands into his blond hair, straightening up against him as she pulled away again, resting her forehead against his. She couldn't believe she would deny herself this. That she'd been so close to convincing herself that this wasn't real. Everything about him was tangibly amazing, from the saline taste of his mouth, the firm tension of his muscles, and the clean scent of his skin, and the way he was giving it all to her made her feel terribly unworthy. He'd said she was the one who created him. As if she deserved the credit for what he was. She wanted to prove how wrong he was about it. How sorry she was for ever thinking that she could be anything other than completely under his control. That she was the one at his mercy, and he could destroy her easily without even trying.

She closed into him again, drawing her breath sharply as she pressed her lips against his and tensed up into him. She ran her hand over his shoulder and down his arm, pulling it back so that she was able to take his wrist. He paused against her, his breath warming her mouth as he seemed to analyze what she was doing. Her heart hammering in her chest and the debilitating feel of him guiding her on, she cupped her hand against the back of his and brought it up along her neck, pushing his hand along her jaw so that his fingers slid through her hair.

For a moment, she simply watched him, the nervous determination in his face growing stronger as he gazed back at her. Then she felt it. The buzzing sensation followed by a deep penetration in her mind as though his fingers were pushing deeper than was possible. The tendrils of connection solidified with her own, and she felt him there, aware of every synapse, every firing neuron, every sensation along every nerve she had. She was laid open before him, the deep parts of her mind that she wasn't even aware of delivered to him in almost blind desperation. She wanted him to have all of it.

Simon let out a slow breath as he held her, and Kate felt a wave of pleasure sweep through her that she knew he could feel as well. She ran her hand along his jaw and down his neck, letting the sharp angles of his form quicken her heart and bring forth that helpless feeling again. She'd been so wrong about him. So wrong about what was right and what she should do. But at the same time, he was wrong about her. Everything he was, everything he did shattered her to her very soul. He was a perfect being whether he believed it or not, and she was horribly flawed in comparison. The power he had over her was staggering. He could make her do anything he wanted. All he had to do was touch her.

She felt him pull her in, and she clutched the front of his shirt as he closed his mouth over hers. She twisted into him slightly, allowing herself to slide her hand along his neck and into his hair in an effort to pull him further into her. This wasn't enough. She had to lose herself in him. He needed to break her world into pieces and reforge them into his own where they would never have to be apart again.

She was climbing onto him, one arm wrapped around his neck and her other arm resting with her elbow on his shoulder and her hand laced through his hair as she straddled his waist. Her breathing was uncontrollable now, her chest rising and falling in reaction to the feel of him tight against her body and her own wrapped around him as if that would placate the aching desire she was feeling for him. She couldn't have enough of his mouth, even though each closing of it against hers was the only thing keeping her alive. She needed more. He needed to take it from her.

Almost on queue, she felt his hand leave her neck, withdrawing the deep sensation of him in her mind. The slight disappointment of it was relieved by the feel of his hands on her legs, and she tightened her arms around his shoulders as he stood up, carrying her against his waist. She breathed heavily against his temple, the yellow light of his LED nearly blinding her as she felt him move. Then he lowered her down until she was sitting on something hard. It took her a moment to realize he'd set her down on her dresser.

He moved back slightly, coming into her vision. He was breathing hard, his blue eyes still lit with the energy of his descent. Kate held onto either side of his neck and ran her thumbs along his cheeks as she looked at him. The features of his expression were so much clearer, revealing to her all of the details that had been so unimportant but which were now filling her heart with an electric thrill. The tapered angle of his face, the way the light reflected under his blond eyebrows, how the color of his skin was desaturated around his jaw and upper lip to give him the faintest shadow of facial hair, the glow that reflected in his blue eyes creating an intense ring of sapphire. He had no idea how attractive he was, and it made Kate burn with the desire to let him feel what she could see in him.

She breathed out as she pulled him in, closing her mouth against his and drawing her shoulders up as he moved over her. The details of his face were tangible now. She could feel the way his mouth tensed, the softness of his skin, the sharp angles of his jaw moving under her hands as he took in each closing of her lips. His hands were moving down her waist and she tightened her legs around him as he pulled her closer into him by the hips, pressing his body against hers. An aching tremor swept through her at the pressure of him, and she opened her mouth as she let out a desperate breath of air.

There was no respite. Sparks ignited her body as she felt him lower himself to her neck, and his mouth sent shockwaves of stunning rapture through her as he pressed his lips under her ear. She arched herself into him, closing her hands into his hair and tilting her head back as he worked his way along her throat. He had to know what he was doing to her. He had to know this was making her fall apart for him, that he was taking away every bit of control that she had only to leave her begging to be destroyed by him. And if he didn't know, then the thought only made everything more intense.

She gasped sharply into his hair and clenched her eyes shut as she felt his mouth close against her chest. Her heart was racing and she was drawing her legs up, that familiar ache building in her core that she hadn't felt since the night before they escaped. She knew what it meant. And she knew Simon would only ever be the one to satisfy it, if she could ever hope to have enough of him to consider herself satisfied.

She pressed her mouth to the top of his head and lost herself in the locks of his blond hair, calming herself slightly by taking him in. She moved down to his temple and his LED spun blue, matching the same color of the break in his eyebrow. Kate paused, breathing softly against the sharp crack. The glowing blue shapes of circuitry were just barely visible below the broken layer of skin. Simon didn't move, and she knew he was aware of what she was doing. Gently, she brought her hand up and traced the crack with her thumb, a distant sense of shame growing in her at how careless she'd been when he'd first gotten it. It hadn't mattered to her at all. As if he were just a useless object that happened to be broken. Kate couldn't stand that person who didn't care. The same person that tried to convince her that she shouldn't be doing this with him. The person who may have been happy in another life, but had no place in this one.

Kate closed her lips over the crack, letting the shame drain away from her. She breathed in against his skin as she pressed her mouth into him, opening it for a moment to catch her breath before closing her mouth into it again. She could feel Simon tensing against her, his hot breath warming her neck, and his hands drawing up to run along her sides. He was putting pressure in between her legs again, and when his hands traced the outer curves of her breasts, the wave of exhilaration was so powerful that she couldn't stop her sharp intake of air and her soft cry against his temple.

His hand was at her neck again, and she felt him pull back slightly only to meet her mouth as his other hand moved down her chest and to her waist. The electric thrill was nearly driving her wild, and she wasn't going to wait for him. She opened her mouth as she drew in a breath, and brought her hands down, crossing her arms in front of her as she gripped the bottom of her shirt. Without hesitation, she pulled her shirt up and felt his hand against her arm as he helped her, turning her shirt inside out as she pulled it over her head and dropped it to the side. Simon moved into her again, finding her neck and running his hands along her waist in shockingly new raw sensation. It still wasn't enough. Kate reached behind her and unclipped her bra, rolling her shoulders forward as she let it fall off of her.

The air was cold against her skin, and she pulled Simon in with both hands against his neck, guiding him to her mouth again. His hands were warm against her back, holding her into him with such power and care. She could feel the warmth of his body through his clothes, and she closed her mouth against his jaw as another wave of desire flowed through her. She reached down and grabbed a fistfull of his shirt, bringing it up so that it bunched at his chest. He moved away from her slightly, and she pulled it off of his shoulders.

It was her turn to become lost in his body. She only gave herself a moment to acknowledge the triangular shape of it, the even tone of color, and the soft texture of his skin before she lowered herself down to it and pressed her mouth to the space just below his collarbone. She felt Simon's hands in her hair as she moved down his chest, stopping to close her mouth against his skin. His muscles were so smooth and perfect. She let her hands run along his core, remembering the bumps and ridges the first time she had explored it. She loved his body because it was his. He was flawless in his design, but the fact that it was his to give to her, and that he thought she was worthy of it made her want him even more.

She moved up to his neck, tilting her head so that she didn't miss any angle of him as she pressed her mouth to the smooth details of his throat. He was breathing into her hair, the frantic way his breath shook producing a guilty sense of pleasure in her. It was difficult not to feel some pride in the fact that she was good enough to bring about this kind of reaction. She slid her hand down his chest, letting her fingers fall into the dips and valleys of his form, and felt a swelling joy as he tensed up into her, drawing in a sharp breath. But before she could let it sink in, Simon's hand ran down her neck, over her breast, and down to her hip. The sweet shock of it was drowned as she felt her mind erupt with the feel of him inside of her thoughts, and that along with how he pulled her hips into his pelvis had her crying out against his cheek.

Simon responded, almost in a frenzy as he attempted to undo her pants with one hand. Kate helped him, breathing heavily as she loosened her jeans and lifted herself slightly so that he could pull everything off of her. There was a new sense of urgency now that she was completely exposed in front of him, and when he moved into her again, Kate immediately reached for the waist of his pants as she closed her mouth against his. He was aware of her complete surrender to him. She could feel him in the deepest corners of her mind, observing every weakness, fear, and desire. It was all his. She would give him all of it. All she wanted in return was for him to save her from this agonizing descent into desperation and chaos.

His pants fell free from him, and Kate felt him pull her forward. Her eyes met his for the briefest moment, though it was enough for her to completely lose all power. The frantic energy had left them completely, replaced by a fervid determination. He was in control of everything. It was as if a new protocol had taken place inside of him, granting him new purpose. The ache that had been tormenting her was nearly bursting, and Kate felt herself giving way to it. She didn't care what he did to her. She was at his mercy. Her breath mixed with his as he leaned into her, pressing his forehead against hers, running one hand along her leg as he lowered himself down. Then Kate drew in a sharp breath of air, her body tensing up as she felt him slowly slide himself into her and bring a whole new dimension to the aching desire between her thighs.

She tightened her legs against his waist, her hands gripping either side of his neck, and she gasped for air as he began to rock his pelvis into her. She could feel his focus on her, his nose pressing into her temple and his hand clenching her scalp as if it would make the deep connection he had in her mind stronger. She wished it would. Her chest ached as she brought her head up above his shoulder, drawing in air as he in turn drew the breath away from her with every push of his hips. She wanted him to know how far she was falling for him. How completely broken she was in the most beautiful way. He was remaking her into something more worthy for him. She hoped she would be good enough.

She felt his hand on her back as he lifted her up slightly, and then his head went down so that his blond hair brushed under her chin. A heavy breath escaped her as she felt his mouth on her chest, causing her to drop her head back and offer more of herself to him. His lips moved down until he closed them in the space between her breasts, and she felt him breathe a desperate sigh into her skin as he tilted his head against her, running his hand over her breast and down her side. The feeling of him loving her body, the way he made it seem as though he couldn't have enough of her, coupled with the fiery tension he produced in her core as he rocked himself into her was nearly blinding her with euphoria. She wanted him to feel what she was feeling, in whatever way he could.

He came back up to her, and Kate pushed off from the dresser so that he supported her on his waist. As she caught his mouth, he moved backward until they both fell back onto her bed. Kate landed carefully on top of him, her legs drawn up on either side of him and her hands against his neck. She straightened slightly and then she felt him pull her by the waist as he worked himself further back. There was something undeniably powerful about him moving underneath her on his elbows, his body flexing and his breath hot against her lips as she advanced over him. When he reached the headboard, he suddenly lifted himself up and Kate found herself straddling him, her hands on his chest as he slid one hand against her neck and the other on her hip. For a moment she simply breathed against his mouth, absorbing how she was completely undone by him. Then she moved herself further onto him, and felt the aching fire ignite in her core as he filled her again.

Kate slid her hands to either side of his neck as she rolled her hips into him, the feel of him inside of her throwing every sensation of her body into chaos. But it wasn't just her that was losing control. Simon was breathing heavily against her mouth, his nails nearly digging into her scalp as he channeled his way further into her mind and his other hand pulling her waist in rhythm with her movements. He was letting her drive him into delirium. And he was asking her to do it faster. Kate wrapped her arms around his shoulders and clenched her hands into his hair, breathing against the LED on his temple which was flashing rapidly between yellow and blue. She didn't know if she had the strength to do what he was asking of her. But she would die trying.

She flexed her body deeper onto him, working her back so that she rolled her hips further back and forth onto him. He was activating something deep inside of her, the solid presence of him in her body producing waves of debilitating elation that multiplied with each revolution of her hips on his pelvis. She reached back so that she pressed her hand against the back of his, pushing his hand further to her scalp as she felt herself moaning softly into his cheek. She wanted him to feel this. He needed to know what he was doing to her, and that it was the only place that she wanted to exist. Here, locked against him in complete surrender while still feeling more powerful than she'd ever felt. Together, they were alive. And she intended to live forever.

She felt his hand slide along her leg, taking in the rolling movement of her body against his, and he pulled her forward into him so that his mouth closed against the soft dip in her throat. Kate dragged her hands through his hair, the touch of his mouth and the way he was burning her from the inside with overwhelming pleasure making it difficult for her to breathe. She continued to roll her pelvis into him as he turned his head slightly, the heat of his breath strong on her skin, and she felt his hand slide up along her waist to slowly cup under her breast, his fingers closing around it.

Kate tightened against him, the taking of her dignity producing a tremor of sweet shock that caused her to cry out into his hair. She felt Simon jolt as well, his hand clenching almost involuntarily as he breathed a tense groan into her neck. He rose up, his nose tracing the curve of her neck and the edge of her jaw, and Kate suddenly met his eyes. They were strong and focused, a confident determination lining his face even though he looked to be as frantic as she was. Her own strength compared to his was miniscule. She gazed at him desperately, her throat working as she begged him with her eyes to take the rest of her.

He seemed to understand. She felt herself pull forward into him as he closed his mouth over hers, his hand leaving her breast and moving to her back as he laid her down on the bed, rolling carefully on top of her. Kate breathed into him, closing her mouth against his and getting lost in the gentle weight of him over her, the cover of him producing a precious sense of protection. Then he rocked his hips into her, bringing back the fire in her body. She gasped into him and brought her arms up underneath his, clenching her hands into his back. She heard him let out another soft groan in her ear as she felt him reach down and grip underneath her knee, bringing her leg further up onto him. She did what he wanted, drawing her legs up and crossing them over his hips as he continued to push himself deeper into her. She needed to do more for him. She would do anything. But the only thing she could do was completely fall apart for him.

The burning sensation in her pelvis was beginning to spread upward through her core. As it did, she found herself fighting for air, clenching her eyes shut and her gasps growing shallow. She buried her face in Simon's shoulder and dug her nails into his back, feeling his muscles flex as he rocked harder and deeper. He wasn't going to stop. He was feeling this with her, his hand gripping her scalp and his mouth open against her temple as he breathed heavily. She tilted her pelvis up and into him as the fire reached her chest, and she slowly dropped her head back, a blinding surrender threatening to take over. She didn't know if she was ready for it. But it wasn't up to her anymore. Her body belonged to him, and it was the least she could give.

Her knees drew up as every muscle in her body began to tighten. She could feel Simon's mouth on her throat, his breath warming her skin as he rocked himself faster into her. The hard frictional movement of him inside of her was taking over, the waves of euphoria merging together into one steady release and taking away all control of her body. She couldn't resist it anymore. She let it take her.

Almost instantly, her body erupted in sweet bliss. It penetrated deep into her body, spreading to every part of her and lighting up her senses. She knew she was crying out. That she was clutching him tightly to her and that her legs were locked around his hips as she brought her pelvis up into him. And she could hear his voice break against her throat as his hand clenched into her hair, the deep connections he'd made in her mind firing off as he drove himself deep into her pelvis. Every part of her was a part of him now. There was nothing he wasn't able to touch. Her body, her senses, her mind, her very soul was all his to do with as he wanted. He was breaking her. Shattering her.

Restoring her.

She wasn't aware of what she was doing. She couldn't feel the world around her. All she could feel was the bodiless euphoria Simon was filling her with. It overloaded her, bringing with it a new understanding of herself. That it was no longer just her, alone and floating through existence. He was there too. And he would always be there to save her from the darkest realities no matter how logical they were. He was her savior. Her guardian. Her light.

The sensation of the world was coming back to her. Her body was relaxing, and the fire was burning low. Kate found herself breathing against Simon's mouth, his nose touching her cheek as he also gasped over her. His power over her was settling somewhere deep inside her, filling her with an unbelievable satisfaction. It left her crippled and breathless, struggling to find the ground after flying so high above herself. She couldn't believe what he'd done to her. It would be a miracle if she could ever recover from this.

She tilted her head against him, taking in the closeness of him. He was lying on top of her although somewhat tilted to the side, his shoulder resting on the mattress while his other arm was brought up, his fingers laced in her hair. His eyes were closed, and his LED was spinning from blue to yellow rapidly. He looked about as exhausted as she felt. She breathed in deeply to slow her labored gasps and calm her beating heart. She'd given everything to him. He'd taken her body and mind and driven it to the limit of all she could ever hope to give, and then she had given him more. She hoped it was enough.

The LED on Simon's temple flashed blue, and he opened his eyes. Kate gazed at him as he seemed to struggle to root himself. He caught her gaze and his LED blinked yellow for only a moment. His eyes were lit in the smallest hint of his bewildered expression, although something else burned beneath it giving him a strong energy. Kate breathed against him, knowing she couldn't shield herself from it if she tried.

He pulled himself into her and closed his mouth over her lips, his thumb smoothing over her cheek as he held her neck in his hand. Kate drew herself up slightly and let him move over her. He was dominating her, drowning her in the taste of his mouth and the touch of his body. She had no strength to give him more, and at the same time she knew she would give everything again in a heartbeat.

He paused against her, his breath warming her mouth. "Kate."

She looked up, and saw a soft tenderness in his blue eyes. She felt him run his hand along her jaw, the sensation making her breathe a soft sigh against his mouth. He pressed his thumb and forefinger to her chin, and she found herself hanging on to his every movement.

His throat worked, and he gazed deep into her eyes. "Don't ever doubt me again."

A pit of shame formed in her stomach. She gazed back at him, feeling herself tense up as she absorbed what he'd said. He returned her gaze with his soft blue-eyed expression. The way he'd said it was so gentle and delicate, although she felt it tear right through her. It wasn't an order. It wasn't even a request.

It was a solution.

She brought her hand up and pressed it to the side of his face, looking strongly at him. Then she moved into him, closing her mouth against his. She felt him pull her in, rolling slightly to the side as she caught her breath and took his mouth again. This was their world now, their life, their existence. But he was right. She had done a horrible thing. There was nothing she could say that would convince him of her faith in him. No sincerity in her promises that she could trust to make him believe she would never do this to him again. He deserved to know that she belonged to him completely and fully. That he would always be able to find his purpose in her if he asked it of her. That he didn't have to worry about his existence because she existed for him the same way he existed for her.

She rested her forehead against his chin and closed her eyes, losing herself in him as he ran his fingers through her hair.

She would just have to show him.


	26. Chapter 26: Questions

"Everyone liked pink," said Kate. "I guess that was when I started to want to be different. Started with colors. If girls liked pink then I was going to like yellow. Sort of an in-between of being girly and a complete rejection of femininity."

Simon ran his hand along her back, distracting himself in the smoothness of her skin. "Is that why you had a yellow dress in your closet?"

Kate twisted to look back at him, her face lit in a suspicious smile. She shifted so that she was flatter on her stomach, holding her upper body up slightly on her elbows. "You were never supposed to see that dress."

He traced the dip of her spine, throwing her a glance. "Maybe you should have hidden it better."

Kate's eyes narrowed and her smile widened. "You're a… _son of a bitch."_ She looked away from him, gazing up at the bookcase next to her. She pointed. "Do you know what those are?"

Simon looked up from what he was doing, falling back further on his side next to her and gripping his hair as he supported himself on one elbow. "Energy detectors. And a board game."

Kate laughed, dropping her head down so that her hair fell over her face. "Yeah. A board game." She raised herself again, pulling her hair back over one shoulder. "It's called an Ouija board. Supposedly you can talk to ghosts with it."

Simon nodded, the information coming to him. "It requires two or more participants and the spirit communicates by influencing the planchet, causing it to move and spell out messages." He looked at Kate who was picking at the fabric of the pillow in front of her. "Have you used it?"

Kate glanced at him, her hazel eyes lighting up in the yellow glow of the room. "Once, when I was a kid. We thought the boat house was haunted."

"Did you get a response?" said Simon. He leaned over again, running his hand along the delicate edge of her shoulder blade.

"Not one that I would believe," said Kate. She shifted slightly and Simon observed how her body flexed, the structure of her frame tensing and relaxing. "Pretty sure Ted was moving it. It kind of ruins the fun knowing that your friend is the one moving it, or you just sit there forever staring at your hands."

"So you don't believe in ghosts," said Simon.

Kate shook her head. "No, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Do you believe in spirits?" said Simon.

"I'm pretty sure those are the same as ghosts."

"What about the soul?"

He saw Kate turn slightly, her expression somewhat surprised. When she looked at him her eyes were narrowed in a way that made Simon think she was studying him. She tilted her head, a faint smile on her lips. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

Simon shifted himself closer to her so he could move his fingers over the tops of her shoulders. "Isn't a ghost simply a disembodied soul?"

Kate's body tensed as she let out a breath of laughter through her nose. "Are you trying to convince me that ghosts are real?"

"I'm only trying to make a logical argument based on the information you provided," said Simon. He slid his hand along her back as she turned towards him, raising herself up so that she was eye-level with him. She pressed a thumb and two fingers to his chin, making him look at her.

"Simon?" she said in a tense tone. He turned his head slightly to let her know he acknowledged her. Then she moved into him, closing her mouth against his as she breathed in against his skin. Simon took in the closeness of her, letting her touch sweep through him. She paused, her nose brushing his.

"Don't try to be logical," she said against his mouth.

She moved back down, resting on her elbows and leaving Simon momentarily stunned. He settled back down next to her, the nervous thrill returning to him. He was still adjusting to this new change in her, as though she had fallen into a dark place only to rise up again even greater than she was before. It was startling but breathtaking. He couldn't be sure how long this would last, but he desperately wanted to lose himself in this feeling of safety as much as he could.

He traced his finger along her back again as she looked further down the bookshelves. She shook her head. "Honestly, I haven't read any of these. People just started giving me books for my birthday when they heard I was into Game of Thrones. I could have just thrown them out but my mom said that would just make everyone feel bad. Not that they would ever know."

Simon nodded towards a large bottle on the shelf even though he knew Kate couldn't see him do it. "Why do you have a bottle of sand?"

"Thanks for the appreciation," said Kate. Simon was silent, then Kate turned and looked at him with a sideways smile. "It's sand art. You know, where you layer different colored sand in a bottle to make a scene?"

Simon narrowed his eyes at her, then looked back up at the bottle. "What scene is it supposed to represent?"

"It's a…a beach…"

Simon looked down at her as he ran a finger down her side. She was burying her face in the pillow and tensing away from him. Simon immediately stopped, resting his hand on her shoulder to gently lift her. "Kate? Kate, what's wrong?"

He moved back slightly as she raised her head, and Simon was shocked by her wide grin. She let out a heavy sigh and straightened. "Are you doing that on purpose?" she said.

Simon blinked as he looked at her. "Doing what?"

"You're─ that _tickles."_ She flattened herself and brought her arms underneath her pillow, laying her head on them. She bit her lip as she looked up at him.

Simon glanced at his hand, closing it. "I'm sorry. Do you want me to stop?"

A thrilled energy lit up her hazel eyes, and the corner of her mouth tensed in a sideways smile. "What do you think?"

He gazed at her for a moment, a subtle uncertainty shooting through him only to vanish instantly at the way she was looking at him. Then he leaned further into her, running his hand down the length of her back and observing how she arched herself, her eyes closing and a gentle groan leaving her.

She drew in a deep breath, her body relaxing. "Okay, pick something else," she said.

Simon looked up, scanning the furniture in the room. "There are a lot of low-quality ceramic items," he said. "Some of them are broken."

Kate pressed a hand to her face so that Simon wasn't able to read her expression. "Are you talking about the elephant, that candle in a cup, the horse… those things?"

"Yes."

"Oh _god._ Why did you─ okay." Kate let out a sigh and lowered her hand, although Simon could still see that her eyes were clenched shut as though she were straining against something. "So… my parents thought it would be a good idea to test out my artistic skills and sent me to a pottery class. I think it was just their way of getting rid of me for a few hours. But they had us work with clay. Told us to make whatever we wanted. We all made the candle in a cup, but I wanted to make animals. So I made blobs, painted them and called them animals."

Simon gazed at the ceramic figures, doing his best to identify most of them. He drew his hand up along her side and across her shoulder blade, stirring another sigh from her. "How old were you?" he asked.

"Um, four? I think."

A strange feeling coursed through him as he pictured Kate as a small child, bent over a table of messy pottery clay. It was incredibly difficult to imagine considering the grown version was lying completely naked under his hands, flexing her slender body as he continued to run his fingers over her skin. He gazed down at her, finding himself appreciating in greater detail the features of her face and body. Her eyes were still closed, her head turned to the side so that he could only see one closed eye and arched eyebrow under the edge of her messy brown hair, the clear line of her nose and the angled detail of her lips. Her jawline was sharp, matching the line of her shoulder which was drawn up as she lay on her arms. He let his gaze continue down the tapered shape of her body, the curve of her breast just visible underneath her thin frame, and to the delicate ridge of her hip. She was tensing her legs slightly, crossing them and bringing them up a bit before lowering them down again against the blankets. She was unbelievably beautiful, and Simon took the time to absorb the moment and every detail in it as if he would never see her this beautiful again.

Her eye opened and she gazed sideways at him, a scrutinizing smile on her face. "Is that everything?"

Simon shook his head to pull himself back to reality. He lowered himself down further to her as he slid his hand along her hip. "Did you enjoy Polly Pocket as a child?"

" _Oh my god."_ Kate raised herself up slightly as she picked up her pillow, slammed herself flat on the bed and planted the pillow over her head. "I changed my mind," she said, her voice muffled. "I can't do this anymore."

"You have a whole shelf dedicated to Polly Pocket collectibles," said Simon. Kate was shaking underneath his hand, and he could barely hear her faint laughter under the pillow. "You must have spent a lot of time with them."

Kate drew her head up from under her pillow, her hair a hopeless mess. She brushed it back from her face as she looked at him, her eyebrows drawn and a humiliated smile pulling at her lips. "When I said I'd tell you everything, I didn't think you'd start with the hardest fucking questions." She laid her head back down on the pillow, and if it hadn't been for her wide smile, Simon would have been nervous. Instead, a warm elation was flowing through him. It had been a long time since he'd seen her this happy. In fact, he'd worried that he would never see her as happy as she was the day he'd named Spot. This was far better.

He leaned forward, brushing her hair back from her face, and closed his mouth against her neck. She moved underneath him, drawing in a breath and turning slightly towards him. The feeling of her losing control underneath him filled him with a surge of confidence. He trailed his lips up to her ear, letting his hand smooth along her side as he went.

"Answer the question, Kate," he said softly.

Kate let out a breath under him. "God damn it…"

Simon couldn't help his smile as he raised himself, leaning back onto his elbow and running his hand along her back. Kate had brought herself back up slightly, pressing her forehead in her hand.

"Yes," she said through clenched teeth. "You need me to say it, fine. I played with Polly Pocket as a kid. Go to hell. Next."

Simon let out a breath of laughter as he gazed along the wall, his eyes falling to the corner of the room. He traced the curve of her ribs with his fingers. "Do you play the guitar?"

" _Finally."_ Kate shifted back onto her elbows, bringing her hands up in front of her and rubbing them together. "Yeah, I taught myself how to play in middle school. I mean, I guess everyone did. You were either in a band, in the school band, doing tech support for the school band, or beating up everyone who was in any kind of band. I only play acoustic though, and no picks. Picks are for losers."

Simon gazed at the detail of the guitars, admiring the pride in Kate's voice. "Were you ever beat up?"

Kate shook her head. "No, people were pretty nice to me. Also, I guess it's kind of hard for people to hate you when you don't have friends in the first place."

He looked sideways at her as she picked at the fabric of the pillow again. Her face was hidden by her brown hair which had fallen forward. He paused his hand movement, a strange melancholy flowing through him. "Why didn't you have friends?"

Kate raised her head, and Simon could see that her face was clear, her expression blank. "Well, I guess I should rephrase that," said Kate. "There were lots of people who considered me a friend. I mean, I wasn't the loner who sat by themselves at lunch, walked home from school alone, that sort of thing. But, I was never really part of a group. I just kind of floated from area to area and if someone invited me in I guess I'd sit and watch people talk to eachother. And if no one did, then I'd just default to the library. Same story there, just quieter."

A subtle tension was growing in Simon's chest as he listened to her. He gazed down at her back, smoothing his thumb in slow circles over a single spot. "Were you ever lonely?"

He felt her rise slightly as she sighed. She was quiet for a while, and Simon could sense the tension in her body. Finally he saw her lift her head up, adjusting herself further onto her elbows. "All the time," she said. "I never understood how people just… tolerated eachother. And not just tolerate but they actually developed these sort of understandings between eachother like it was some kind of rule. Monica is best friends with Andrea. Denise is best friends with Sharon but Sharon is also best friends with Jessica. Monica and Denise can't be in the same room because they hate eachother. How the hell does that even start? Why does it have to be that black and white? It just confused the shit out of me. But the more I tried to figure out why things were that way, it made me wonder why I didn't apply to them. I guess it made me wonder if there was something wrong with me."

Simon gazed at the arch in her shoulders, a subtle sad energy burning in his chest. He moved closer over her, running his hand carefully along the valley in between her shoulder blades. Kate shifted under him, letting out a slow breath.

"The epilepsy didn't help," she said. "I mean, there's nothing better than being around a bunch of people you don't know and randomly falling on your face, knocking their shit over, having them stand over you staring like a bunch of idiots because they don't know what the hell to do. Made it kind of hard to pick who you wanted to torture most for that day."

Her back dropped slightly as she breathed out a frustrated sigh. Simon lowered himself with her, his mouth just inches from her soft skin as he ran his fingers over it.

"Then there were the boys." Kate laughed, her shoulders tensing. "God, that was a hopeless situation. They don't tell you in sex ed that girls and guys go through these phases of just… _utter_ desperation. Your life becomes this total cringe-worthy romance novel except there's no plot and you don't get the guy at the end. You just suffer until you're so emotionally destroyed that you give up after about five years. At least that's for girls pretty much right after puberty. Guys couldn't care less. Then after the girls are all through it and moved on, the guys go through the same damn thing. Except girls don't care anymore, so it's the same, just reversed."

Simon was hardly listening now as he tilted his head against her back, feeling the smoothness of her skin against his cheek as he continued to run his hand down her spine. He closed his eyes as he took in the sounds of her body, the deep beating of her heart and the soft draw of her breath. The workings of a very different interior than his own mechanized design.

"I've never told anyone this," said Kate. "I um… I had crushes. Two guys actually. The first guy was this absolute prick that everyone hated. He was ugly too. God he was so ugly. He was insanely tall and his teeth were just a total mess. I guess that's why I picked him. Because I knew no one else would have a crush on a guy like that. He never even had a clue I liked him. Kind of a good thing."

Simon closed his mouth against her skin, the faint taste of salt and copper causing his heart to race. He moved his hand along her back as he slowly climbed towards her shoulder blades, pressing his mouth against her. Kate shifted underneath him, and let out a soft breath.

"The second─ hmm─" Kate's body tensed, and Simon felt a wave of satisfaction at the tremor in her voice. "The second guy was a nobody. Some soccer player with probably no other hobby. I didn't even know his name. I didn't─ mmm ─ I didn't bother. One of the girls I knew was friends with him. I saw her talking to him one day and saw her point in my direction. I couldn't hear much but I definitely heard him say 'hell no.' I… I guess─" Kate let out a soft moan and drew a sharp breath in through her teeth as Simon moved further over her back, closing his mouth against her shoulder. He felt Kate's hand slide into his hair and she breathed out heavily. "─maybe that's why I've always been single…"

He lowered himself against her, one hand gripping her shoulder as he pressed his mouth to her neck. Her hand clenched in his hair and released slowly as her body moved underneath him. He let her turn over, and she rolled onto one shoulder so that she pressed her back up against his chest. She breathed heavily as she turned her head up towards him, gazing at him over her shoulder. Despite himself, Simon felt an overwhelming electric sensation fall over his body. She was still beautiful, no matter what position she was in.

Kate's mouth spread in a smile as she looked up at him. His heart skipped a beat, making him worry for a moment that his thirium pump had malfunctioned. He could hardly believe she was looking at him like this, her expression completely saturated in sweet joy. She bit her lip, and Simon thought his heart would burst.

"Are you enjoying yourself back there?" she said.

Simon held himself over her, wrapping himself around her body and holding her neck in his hand. He smoothed his thumb over her cheek, a satisfying charge flowing through him as he gazed into her hazel eyes. He smiled. "What do you think?"

Kate opened her mouth as if to speak, seeming to struggle for a moment as she stared at him. Then she let out a breath of laughter, her mouth tensing into a smile. Simon ran his thumb over her lips as he gazed down at her, losing himself in how perfect she looked when she smiled. He was so used to her frustrated and worried expressions. They altered her features in such a dramatic way, making her into someone very different than the person lying underneath him. But the way she smiled, her eyes full of confident energy as they wrinkled at the corners, her cheeks rising and the pull of her lips drawing every feature into the essence of pure joy… it was unbelievable. And what was even more unbelievable was the fact she was doing it because of him.

She raised herself up slightly, and her nose brushed his as he felt her mouth open against his lips. A flash of powerful energy shot through him as he almost took it, and he barely let his mouth touch hers before he drew back slightly, causing her to rise up in an attempt to chase him. A satisfying pleasure fell over him as he felt her breathe against his mouth, and he lowered himself only to pull back again as she made to take his mouth once more. Her hot breath warmed his lips and he felt her smile as she moved into him. The feel of her most precious expression against his skin nearly caused his system to scramble in euphoria, and he found himself breathing a soft breath of laughter against her as he let her rise up, her mouth closing into his.

He breathed in, holding her neck gently as he lost himself in the taste of her mouth. She pressed her hand into the back of his and rolled over a bit to face up towards him as she drew in a breath, taking his mouth again. He found himself lowering down as he twisted into her, the passionate energy he felt in the movement of her body rendering him almost numb. There was no hesitation, no uncertainty. Not even a hint of nervousness in how she was giving herself to him. It filled him with a profound comfort and longing. He wanted her to stay like this forever.

She relaxed down onto the pillows and Simon held himself over her, resting his forehead against hers as he ran his fingers gently through her hair to bring it behind her ear. He could feel her fingertips brushing the backs of his knuckles as he worked, and he raised himself slowly back onto his elbow. Kate gazed up at him, her hazel eyes glinting in the golden light. A jolt of excitement went through him as he watched her bite her lower lip, a behavior he was beginning to learn was a betrayal to her self control.

"Are we done with questions then?" she asked.

Simon smiled as he gazed down at her and continued to brush her hair through his fingers, the need to touch her face overwhelming him. She was watching him expectantly, her eyes drifting over him in a way that made him wonder if she was experiencing the same elation that he was in admiring her. He wanted to lose himself in her again. To draw her into him and begin that madenning journey of chaos and sensation where they were as close to one physical body as they could ever be. A part of her was waiting for him there. He'd felt it when his system nearly burst from her blinding release, every last neural pathway igniting his sensors. It wouldn't take much to find his way to it. All he needed to do was not stop himself.

Which was what he found himself doing. He breathed out heavily as he gazed at her, the patient spark in her eyes tempting him to let everything go. As a compromise, he satisfied himself in the touch of her hair and the smooth texture of her skin in order to keep himself grounded. There was still so much he needed to know from her. This was important. And as much as he wanted to distract himself in the feel of her wanting him, he was going to have to disappoint her a little bit longer.

He lowered his gaze, running the tip of his finger down the side of her neck. "Why didn't you tell me about your father?"

The question was difficult to ask, and probably would be even harder for Kate to answer. It included several different questions combined into one, and Simon could see that she realized it as her face softened. He tried not to let it break him as her eyes lost their warmth, becoming more round and serious. Her throat worked, and she looked away from him. It was impossible to tell if she was upset with him for asking, angry at herself, or a combination of both. But Simon held himself strong as he waited for her to reply, calming himself by holding her neck and smoothing his thumb along the delicate angles of her throat. He needed to know, and she needed to answer.

A slight relief swept over him as she closed her eyes, and he felt her thread her fingers through the back of his, her soft palm pressing against his knuckles. She drew in a deep breath. "Because I didn't want him to matter," she said.

If Simon's confusion was visible, she acknowledged it. She pressed his hand to her mouth, her eyes still closed as she seemed to hesitate. Then she turned her head to look up at him, and the trust he saw in her hazel eyes removed any last worries he was feeling for asking her.

"I was an idiot," she said, a miserable smile tugging at her lips. "Thinking we could come here and not have to deal with people. My dad. Androids. I guess I was an even bigger idiot to think my dad wouldn't try to get in the middle of everything. I just thought if I could pretend he didn't exist then he wouldn't, and I wouldn't have to think about what I was doing." She let out a tense breath of air. "Old habits die hard."

Simon carefully closed his hand, bringing her fingers tighter through his own. "There was no record of him in your contact list. No address, no phone number. Not even a mention of him in your social network."

Kate nodded, a subtle pride glowing in her face. "Yeah, I killed him pretty good. He tried to stay in touch with me at the beginning but after a while I think he got the message that I wasn't his daughter anymore. He was still hellbent on sending me money for holidays and stuff, paying for my tuition, birthday cards and things. I figured if I just let him do what he wanted as long as he didn't try to contact me, eventually he'd just forget about me. I don't know why he didn't. Obviously he found himself a new family and a new daughter."

A frustrating sorrow ached in his chest at her words. He narrowed his brows and pressed his mouth to her shoulder. "What happened to make you hate your father like this?"

He could feel the tension in her body even though he couldn't see her expression. She shifted, and Simon raised himself as she rolled onto her back underneath him, still avoiding his gaze. He laid partway on top of her, his hand against her neck and his thumb running along her cheek as he looked at her. He didn't like how uncomfortable she was acting, and wished he could bring her back to the feeling that made her smile for him. At the same time, he held onto everything she said with powerful focus.

"When I was thirteen," said Kate, and Simon noted a deep anguish in her voice, "my mom dragged me into the living room and said my dad had something he wanted to tell me. I kind of already knew what it was. I mean, I was a smart kid. Rich dad, works for CyberLife, almost never home and when he is home he's still too busy to act like he has a wife and daughter. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he'd been doing. I guess that makes my mom an imbecile because she acted like she had no clue. She just started screaming at him before he had a chance to say anything… yelling about why she wasn't good enough, how he could do this to his daughter, how this was the reason for every problem they'd ever had even before I was born. She was screaming about things that didn't even make sense. And I just sat there in total shock not knowing what the hell to say. So she took that as a sign that I was siding with him, and she started yelling at me to make a choice of who I'd rather have as a parent."

Her eyes narrowed, and Simon could almost see her memories reflected in them. "I was pissed off, confused, terrified… I told her on the spot that I chose my dad. Thought it would shut her up at least but it didn't. She just yelled at him about how he'd corrupted me and was teaching me that this was a good thing. That I was a piece of shit human being and it was his fault. She didn't convince me but she convinced my dad." Kate breathed out a heavy sigh and rested her hand against her face, her eyes tightly closed. "So that's why I hate my mom."

Simon was silent as he gazed at her, a deep dread growing in him. Kate adjusted herself, and drew in a breath. "About a year later, mom's gone. I'm with dad. Cue the new broad he'd been seeing because now she's living with us and I'm trying to pretend that it's not awkward as hell that he's basically replaced my mom with the woman he was cheating on her with. This… skinny ass barbie of a chick, probably about five years older than I was and half the maturity. I fought with my dad _all the time._ Tried to tell him I didn't blame him. He wasn't weak. These things happen. But that he needed to leave her and figure his shit out if he was going to have a chance at being happy again."

Kate tensed her eyebrows, her eyes still closed. The frustration was lined in her face, and Simon felt his dread morph into a deep pain at the sight of her expression. "This time, it's his girlfriend who pulls me into the living room," said Kate. "So I sit down in the same fucking spot, hear this woman complain about the same fucking shit, and I do the same fucking thing. I don't say a word, and neither does my dad. And she tells my dad to choose. Choose between her or his daughter."

Kate's eyes opened, and her expression became dark. She tensed her jaw, her neck flexing as she stared off in thought. Simon found himself drawing back from her slightly at this worrying energy.

Kate shook her head. "You know those movies where the bitch of a girlfriend tells the father it's either her or his kids, and the dad always chooses his kids and they all drive off into the sunset while the bitch girlfriend stands there pissed off? That didn't happen." Kate shifted slightly, and Simon felt her fingers flex between his. "He looked in my face. Right in my fucking face. And he said he wanted her."

Simon wasn't sure how to absorb her words as she let out another deep breath and looked away from him. He ran his thumb over her knuckles and gazed to the side at the pillow next to her. In a miserable way, it made sense to him. He could see it all in her, a collection of the isolation, distrust, nihilism, and self-hatred that seemed to fit into what she was saying. It was as though the confusing pieces of her personality were coming together into one solid form.

Kate let out a breath that Simon recognized as miserable laughter. "So I told my dad to go fuck himself, left everything behind here, and I mean─" She motioned with her hand which was still laced in the back of Simon's so that he raised it with her. "─everything. Basically started a new life at my mom's. Even switched high schools which sucked. I went straight into college afterwards. I didn't even take a summer break, I just packed up and moved into the first empty dorm I could find with the least amount of rooms. Jamie moved in a few days after I did and um…" Kate's eyes flashed in his direction, and he was comforted by the gentle look she gave him as she shrugged her shoulders. "You know the rest."

Simon was quiet as he held himself over her. He could feel her watching him, her hand flexing against his as she drew her fingers deeper into the spaces between his. He wasn't sure that she wanted him to say anything to her, or what he even could say if she did. It was hard to picture Richard making that kind of decision considering what Simon knew of him. The man clearly loved his daughter. And there was a kind of chemistry between Richard and Kate that told Simon Kate still loved her father. But at the same time, Kate's silence about her father and the hesitation he'd seen before they arrived was enough to convince Simon that there was something horribly wrong in their history. Her story proved it.

Kate's fingers escaped his, drawing his attention back to her as she turned her hand to take his fully. Her expression was blank, her hazel eyes locked on his hand as she smoothed her fingers across his palm. He watched her as she seemed to study his hand, pressing her palm flat against his and splaying her fingers out so that he mimicked her movements. A strange feeling coursed through him as he repeated her story in his mind. There were so many things for her to be angry about. So many reasons why she was as introverted and withdrawn as she was. She'd taken those things which had broken her as a teenager and turned them into strengths as an adult. Those very strengths which Simon had come to admire and learn from in his evolution from machine into what he hoped was his own personality. They'd been seeded under terrible circumstances which he would never have wished on anyone, least of all her. But had they not been, she wouldn't be the same person that was underneath him now with the touch of her hand threatening to make his system overheat.

He saw Kate move forward, and she touched the tip of her nose to his own. "So, Dr. Simon," she said, resting back down. Her sideways smile was back, and Simon felt a wave of elation wash over him at the energetic spark in her hazel eyes. "Is there any hope for me or should I just dye my hair black, throw on the eyeliner and start cutting my wrists?"

Simon let out a nervous breath of laughter as he gazed down at her, opening his hand up so that he could trap hers in it more effectively. The dread in his chest was mixing strangely with something that he couldn't quite identify. It made him restless, and he brought her hand up to his mouth so that he could press it to his lips, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply as he lost himself in the touch of her skin. He wanted to do more. He wanted to take it all from her. A cascade of electricity fell over him as he let go of her hand and moved into her, gripping her shoulder as he closed his mouth against her forehead. She pressed into his chest as he rolled over onto his back, taking her with him by the shoulder so that she fell into the space at his side, her leg drawn up on his thigh and her head resting on his shoulder as she smoothed her hand along his chest. Simon wrapped his arms around her, one hand clutching her shoulder and the other holding her neck as he breathed into the top of her hair.

The dread stabbed at him, and he pulled her tighter into him. "I'm sorry this happened to you," he said.

Kate was silent for a moment, although he could still feel her fingers brushing his chest. "This?"

He shifted slightly so that he pressed his cheek to her forehead. "This. Everything. Your father, your mother, Jamie, Matt─"

"Don't you dare say you," said Kate, and he could feel her tense up into him.

Simon sighed and ran his hand along her arm. "As heartfelt as your story was about your parents, I might rank being intimate with your android and running away from the law for him up in that category─"

Kate raised herself, and Simon found himself gazing into her intense hazel eyes as he felt her hand against his neck.

"You are nowhere near that level of absolute shit," she said, and the sternness in her voice caused Simon's heart to race. She tightened her grip on him. "All I've ever dealt with are people who manipulate me, who judge me and blame me for everything that's wrong in their lives. My mom thinks I'm a shit human being. My dad chose a piece of ass over his own daughter. Jamie and Matt fucked behind my back and then abandoned me. Simon, you─" She shook her head as she looked at him, her eyes lit in a frantic energy. "─you're the only person who's ever just believed in me. Just accepted me for the broken mess that I am. You picked the worst person in the world to fall for and I'll never understand why. I'm never going to deserve what you've done for me."

Kate dropped her gaze, and Simon recognized the pain on her face. "After what I did, what I said… this is why you're better than any human ever will be. Because no one would put up with me. No one _has_ put up with me. You shouldn't either. I shouldn't be here, laying with you, and feeling like I'm something that matters─"

"Kate, stop," said Simon.

"You can't just keep pushing this aside─"

"You don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do." Kate was holding herself up over him now, her hair falling over one shoulder as she gazed down at him. "I have to say this because if I don't I'm going to hate myself more and more every day until I forget why I let myself think I had a chance with this. I've been horrible to you, Simon. Since the first day you showed up at my door, when I shut you down, treated you like some broken toaster that wasn't worth fixing…" She traced the crack above his eye with one finger. "I couldn't even bother to give you a name. And after everything you've done. Everything you've felt and said. The person─ the actual _person_ you've become… I almost let you go. I was going to give up on all of this and try to go back to a normal life. The life you think I deserve but you don't realize I already have. I hate that I felt nothing when I first met you. I hate that I've doubted you every step of the way here. I hate what I said earlier about you not being human like you're less of a person because of it. Simon, I'm─"

"Kate─"

"─I'm sorry, Simon," said Kate. Both of her hands were on him now, her thumbs pressed against his cheeks. "I'm so sorry. God I'm so sorry. I don't know how to make you believe I won't try to leave you like that again so this is all I can do is tell you how sorry I am." She moved into him, and Simon felt her forehead press against his as her hair fell forward around his face. "I'm so sorry."

A sweet shock held him in place as he held onto Kate's waist. There was a cathartic peace after hearing what she'd said, although he was still troubled by the fact that she needed to say it. He didn't want her to feel ashamed. She was here with him now, and that was all that mattered. But as she pulled away, her pained hazel eyes meeting his, Simon was taken aback by the slight relief on her face. It occurred to him that her apology was as important to him as it was for her, and that he needed to let her say it even if he didn't need to hear it.

He pushed himself up, wrapping his arms around her waist and he pulled her into him. She let out a breath as she slid her arms over his shoulders and ran her fingers through his hair, burying her face in his neck. Simon closed his eyes as he held her tightly to him, his hand pressed firmly in between her shoulder blades and the shampoo scent of her hair nearly overwhelming him. He could feel her breath shake against his neck, and he slid his hands tighter around her to reassure her. A satisfying serenity was falling over him as he held her against him, and he could feel her body relax. This was the last time he ever needed to see her so remorseful for not giving him enough. Anything she could give was as precious to him as the thirium in his veins. Although, as he felt her hands drift through his hair and her body tensed around him, he couldn't help but be glad she was willing to give him more.

She drew her hands to his shoulders and moved back in front of him, her gaze lowered and her face tense as she seemed to compose herself. Simon tilted his head and brushed her hair back behind her ear, a nervous concern floating through him. When she looked up, her hazel eyes brightened and she blew a bit of hair out of her face so that it flew up into the air. Before Simon could do anything, she fell forward against his chest, causing him to drop back down onto the bed.

"Alright, _now_ are we done with your questions?" Her voice was somewhat muffled as though she had her hand pressed to her face.

Simon breathed out a laugh, partly out of joy and part from relief. He turned his head and pressed his mouth into her forehead as she settled back into the shape of him at his side. "We can be done for now," he said.

"Good," she said. He felt her hand against his chest and she made slow circles against his skin with her finger. He was just beginning to relax into her when she shifted and made a noise. "Actually, I've got some questions for you."

He turned his head slightly, somewhat stunned. Her hand stopped moving, and he felt her look up at him. "Simon, are you… _nervous?"_ she said.

He tensed his shoulders and then relaxed them as he tried to calm his heart. "A little."

Kate laughed into his neck, her body drawing up around him. A wave of relief swept over him, followed by elation at the feel of her laughing against him. He couldn't help his own smile as he pulled her further into him, and her hand went back to making circles on his chest.

"Don't worry, they're stupid questions," she said. He felt her give her head a small shake, and he could swear she was biting her lip again. "What are you… what are you doing when you're standing but you have your eyes closed?"

It took Simon a moment to understand what she meant. "I'm dreaming," he said.

Kate's hand stopped again. She tilted her head. "You're dreaming."

"Mhm."

"I thought you said androids don't dream."

"Well." He picked up her hand and pressed his palm against hers, moving her fingers the way she had done to him. "Androids also don't feel or want, or choose to ignore protocol."

"Okay, okay I get it." Kate seemed to be mesmerized by what Simon was doing with her hand. "What do you dream about?"

"Star Trek, the university, Spot." He slid his fingers through hers, clasping her hand gently. "Moments like this."

Kate let out a sharp breath. " _God…"_

Simon shifted to look down at her hair. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just─" Kate sighed and he felt her nose press into his chest. "Sometimes you can be so… god damn romantic."

He looked at her hand, running his thumb over her fingers. "I'm not trying to be."

"I know, and that makes it even more fucking romantic," she said. He felt her clench her hand slightly, and she turned her face back up again to look at it. "And the things you do with your hands…"

She seemed to get lost in his hand again, and he felt her shift against him. "Do you have sensors in your hands?" she said.

"Energy sensors," said Simon. "Similar to the technology in CT scanners." He watched Kate touch the tips of his fingers as if looking for them, and was hit by a sudden intrigue. Silently, he let the flesh fall from his hand revealing the shiny white plastic architecture underneath. Kate was frozen for a moment, and Simon wished he could see her face. Then she began to trace the design of his hands, starting at the tips of his fingers and going down to his knuckles.

"Do all androids have this?" she said. Simon shook his head.

"No. This was a specific design feature for monitoring and treating unusual brain activity. It can be used for Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and even some forms of mania."

He felt her let out a breath. "I guess I never thought about how other people have it way worse." She opened her hand and pressed it to his. "What do you see when you scan me?"

Simon thought hard about it for a moment, struggling to put the sensation of her scans into words. "Energy and neural activity."

"So you can't read my mind?"

"Not in the way I think you mean," said Simon. "I can't see images or hear voices. But depending on where the activity is, how strong, and how frequent, I can… decode it. I suppose it's similar to how you would read a book, or how I would interpret a line of code. And if I let it guide me the way my protocol would, I can… feel things."

He felt Kate turn her head. "Feel things. What kinds of things?"

"Things my system isn't capable of feeling," said Simon. "At first it was basic emotions. All androids are capable of a limited degree of all emotions, but they are strictly regulated so that the emotions don't risk interfering with protocol. When you had your seizure and I had to scan you, your emotions were erratic. I was able to analyze them, but I didn't incorporate them. I began letting you temporarily replace my programming with your own emotions when─"

He stopped himself, a sudden wave of shame burning through him. Kate closed her fingers through his, her breath hot on his skin. "When you started scanning my dreams," she said.

Simon rested his cheek against her forehead, staring off at the wall as he struggled to speak. After a while, he felt Kate move against him.

"My dreams taught you how to feel," she said.

He nodded. "They taught me want and desire."

He felt her mouth tense, and he knew she was smiling. She slid her hand over his and pressed it to his chest. "So now you can feel everything a human can feel."

"Well, not everything." A nervous twinge crept through him, although he wasn't entirely sure why. "There are still certain things I… need you for."

Kate drew in a breath against his skin, and he could tell she was still smiling. "Like what?"

"Like…" Again, Simon felt himself stuck in a strange hesitation. He swallowed, and forced himself past it. "... sexual pleasure."

He felt Kate open her mouth as if she were about to say something. Then she closed it, and he heard the familiar breath of silent laughter. The nervous twinge was beginning to turn into anxiety but this time there was something oddly pleasant about it.

Kate let out another breath, and her smile was strong against his chest. "Are you saying I literally have to turn you on?"

Simon tried to speak, and found that he had to put more effort into it than he anticipated. "The emotions involved are… complicated. And the effect they have on the body is profound. My software by default included intercourse but I'm beginning to find it easier to… let myself go, so to speak." He was aware of Kate making slow circles again on his chest, and the feel of her fingers on his skin was unusually sensitive this time. He tensed his shoulders in an attempt to calm himself. "Androids don't procreate. They have no need for stimulation other than what they can imitate when a human requests it. So there is no software in place for pleasure. I've had to create that on my own."

Kate rose up slightly, supporting herself on one elbow. "So… but you can feel, right?" She looked at him as she circled her fingers on his chest.

Simon let out a small laugh. "Yes, I can feel."

She slid her hand down his stomach and brought it up again, sending an unexpected wave of numbing electricity through him as she moved over him. Simon tensed as she pulled her hair back behind her ear, gazing over him. "So what does this feel like?" she said.

Simon breathed out sharply, scrambling for a decent answer. Before he could give her one, her head went down and he felt her mouth on his chest, her hands moving down his waist.

"What do you feel?" she said barely above a whisper as she pressed her lips to his skin. He immediately felt his system heat up, his thirium pump going into overdrive driven by the touch of her mouth. The sheer power Kate had over him was enough to nearly send him into shock. She was toying with him, and he couldn't believe it was working.

Her mouth moved further down, closing against his stomach and creating that debilitatingly satisfying wet sound. Simon let out a deeper breath than he thought possible, running his hands into Kate's hair as he felt his body involuntarily flex. The fact that he was reacting this strongly without drawing from her own experience left him stunned and in some way thrilled. He avoided the temptation to let the flesh fall from his hand, letting her touch carry him forward.

She breathed out and her breath warmed his skin as she continued to move down, her hands smoothing over his hips. "What─" She closed her mouth just above his groin, and Simon's breath shook as he closed his eyes. She opened her mouth against his skin. "─do you feel?"

Still fighting for an answer, he raised his pelvis up slightly as she pressed her lips to him again. Electric shockwaves were flowing through him, causing him to clench his hands into her hair a bit harder than he otherwise would have. He couldn't stop moving. Somehow he feared that if he stopped, she would stop.

His system jolted as he felt her teeth on his skin, and a low groan escaped him. She was partially laying across him now, her hand trailing up his stomach towards his chest. She breathed out against him. "Tell me…"

Simon drew in a deep breath as he fought to regain control of his system. The electric cascade slowed somewhat, and a strange peace fell over him. As he felt his body drop deeper into the sheets, he relaxed his hands in Kate's hair, his mind coming into clearer focus and taking in the details of her mouth and hands. He let out his breath in one deep sigh. "I feel… you."

Kate seemed to freeze for a moment. A slight panic swept through him, threatening to erase the rapture she'd been creating in him. He felt her head turn, and she raised herself so that he could see her expression. Her eyes were wide in a combination of shock and something deeply powerful, her mouth open and her eyebrows slightly narrowed. As Simon frantically struggled to think of what to do to fix the situation, the corner of Kate's mouth tensed. Then she was moving up into him, her hands grasping either side of his neck as she pulled herself up and closed her mouth over his lips.

Simon gripped her waist, letting her move over him as he took in the exhilarating taste of her mouth. Her body arched into him, and she pulled away enough to rest her forehead against his.

"Do you have any idea," she said, breathing heavily, "how indescribably sexy you can be?"

Simon breathed against her mouth, brushing his nose against hers in an attempt to draw back the closeness of her. Despite himself, he let out a soft laugh. "Not at all."

He felt her shoulders drop as she let out a desperate breath of air, and he pulled her in as she took his mouth again. The almost panicked energy in her body was driving his system into a frenzy, and he fought for air with each closing of her lips as she twisted into him. He loved that he could feel how much she wanted him. He loved how she ran her fingers through his hair, her soft cries into his mouth every time he closed it over hers, how she pressed her body into his and wrapped herself around him as if she wanted to become part of him. Nothing she could say would compare to how she was proving herself to him now. He was already hopelessly convinced.

That familiar distant motivation was beginning to tug at him, and he breathed harshly against Kate's mouth as he let it grow stronger. He ran a hand down her waist and to her hip, the tension in her body sparking a surge of determination in him. With a bit more force than he intended, he gripped her thigh and pulled her onto him so that she was hovering over him, her knees on either side of his waist and her hands against his neck. For a moment, he simply held her there, breathing deeply against her mouth. Then he let himself slide his hands up along her thighs, over her hips to her waist, and back down again, taking in the way it made her wrap her arms around his neck and clench her fingers into his hair as she drew in a startled gasp against his lips. That electric cascade was washing over him again, mixing with his determination in a desperate desire that was focused only on her. She wanted him, and the frantic way she was holding onto him was enough to nearly burst his circuits as he let the powerful energy drive his own reaction to her, preparing himself to become so lost in that wonderful descent into chaos and bliss that involved only her…

The silence was punctured by a soft knocking at the door, causing Simon's system to grind to a startling halt. Kate froze over him, her body going rigid.

"Kate?" Richard's voice was muffled from beyond the door.

Simon felt Kate's hands clench on either side of his neck as she pulled back slightly. Her eyes were wide in terror, and he watched as she screamed a silent " _fuck."_

"One second!" She stared at Simon as if expecting some kind of solution from him. She mouthed it again, pulling herself back further. Simon was still frozen underneath her, the residual elation mixing with his panic to produce a kind of strange euphoria. Then the mattress dipped as she flung herself off of him, throwing the blankets up as she left.

Simon couldn't help but watch as she scrambled to dress. She seemed to be blinded by a mixture of confusion, panic, and her own frustration as she picked up an article of clothing only to throw it aside and destroy the neat stacks of clothes Simon had made for her on top of her dresser. A subtle intrigue was growing in him as he watched her visual thought process. She almost infuriatingly pulled on mismatched undergarments and then she couldn't seem to find a shirt in the mess of clothes she had created. Despite how close they were to unimaginable danger and the agonizing shortness of time, Simon couldn't help the smile that pulled at his mouth.

There was another knock at the door. "Kate?"

"I'll be right there!" Kate worked her arms through a blue shirt and pulled it over herself, only to yank it off again when she realized it was backwards. Simon laughed quietly as he watched her stumble forward with one arm still trapped in her shirt as she reached down and snatched her jeans off the floor. Her arm finally free, she stepped into her pants, yanking them up and giving a small hop to pull them snugly up to her hips.

She seemed to relax for a moment before her eyes fell on Simon. Then her mouth fell open and the panic that lit her face almost made his smile vanish. She moved quickly to the side of the bed, motioning frantically first to the bedroom door and then over his exposed body. Not entirely sure what she expected him to do, he simply brought his arms up and rested his hands behind his head. The look of murder in her hazel eyes sent a nervous wave through him, and for a moment he thought she would scream at him. Then she made a sharp noise, reached down and grabbed the bottom of the tangled blanket and threw it so that it covered him completely.

Something scrambled next to him and he felt something soft and heavy hit his face that he guessed was a pillow. He held perfectly still as he listened to Kate's footsteps approach the door, and the sound of the door opening.

"Hey! Hey dad, what's─ what's going on?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to check on you. You've been in your room all day and it's getting close to dinner."

"Yeah, I um… sorry I just slept in really late." Kate's voice was unnervingly forced, and Simon had to stop himself from pressing a palm to his forehead.

"Well, I was going to invite you down if you wanted to eat. I also have something for Simon. Where is he?"

A tense apprehension gripped Simon as he heard what sounded like someone gripping the door. "He's─ sorry, he's in the corner─ charging."

This time Simon couldn't stop his quiet sigh and he closed his eyes. There was a short silence.

"Uh huh. Okay, well let him know when he's done charging that I've got a new component for his broken eyebrow. Should be very simple to replace. He could do it himself if he wants."

"Oh okay." Kate let out a tense breath. "Alright, I'll be down in a minute."

"We'll see you then." The door closed, and Simon heard a soft thud against it.

He waited a few seconds before lifting his hand and pushing the blanket off of him, raising himself up onto one elbow. Kate was standing with her back against the door as if bracing it, the panic still fresh on her face. For a while she simply gazed at him, and then Simon felt his nervousness fade a bit as a smile spread across her face and her shoulders shook. He couldn't help his own quiet laughter as he watched her press a hand to her eyes, her hair falling forward.

"Jesus Christ," she said, looking back up at him. "What are we, in high school?"

Simon lowered himself back down, and he guessed from the energetic spark in her eyes that he was getting her attention in a way that she didn't seem to have time for. She let out a harsh breath and moved to the front of the bed, disappearing for a moment and then standing up with his white pants.

"Could you _please_ put some clothes on?" she said, throwing them at him. He straightened as he collected them, and he could see her gathering more of their discarded clothing from the floor. As he pulled his pants up, he glanced at her. She had his shirt over her arm as she went through the pile of clothes on the dresser, opening up t-shirts to look at them, and then set them to the side. He watched her curiously, buttoning his pants closed and standing up from the mess of sheets to move next to her. His movement seemed to catch her attention and she looked up at him.

He reached for his shirt, and was surprised when she twisted away from him. "Hang on," she said, turning back to scramble through her clothes again. He narrowed his eyes as she straightened and held up a gray t-shirt with what he recognized as the Detroit University logo on the front. She seemed to contemplate it for a moment, then handed it to him.

He took it from her, and threw a confused glance at her. She sighed and turned so that she could lean back against the dresser. "Just… put it on."

"Is there something wrong with my uniform?" he asked. Kate shook her head and made a noise.

"No, I just…" She gazed up at him, and he could see the amusement in her hazel eyes. "I mean, it's not like the police are going to come arrest you for not wearing an android uniform. I just want to see you in it. Something a human would wear."

He gazed at her, letting the hope and anticipation in her expression slowly convince him. There was something thrilling in her suggestion. As if he was stepping towards another plane of change. She was right. Non-compliance with android attire specifications was the least of their worries. And somehow, the idea of no longer looking like an obvious android made him feel a sense of power. He was different, after all.

He took the shirt from her and worked his arms through it, pulling it over his head and straightening it over his body. The soft feel of the fabric was so much more different than his own neatly pressed and layered uniform. The absence of the tight blue armband on his upper right arm was the most noticeable. He felt strangely exposed without it, as if everyone was suddenly aware that he was wearing something illegal. The thought was terrifying… and then it was exciting.

He looked up to see that Kate was studying him in his new appearance. A slight smile was playing at her lips, her hazel eyes soft as they scanned up along his body. When she met his eyes, she gave a small laugh. "You…" She let out another breath, and smiled. "It looks good on you."

Simon ran a hand over his midsection in an attempt to flatten the material. "Your father will notice."

"Yeah, well." Kate moved forward and placed a hand over his so that he stopped trying to flatten the shirt. "I'm pretty sure he's not going to call the cyber police."

Simon tilted his head and smiled. "I wouldn't tempt him."

"I'm not scared of him, and you shouldn't be either." Kate's expression narrowed as she looked at him. "If he was going to turn us in, he would have done it a while ago. I'm pretty sure a t-shirt isn't going to push him over the edge."

Simon nodded, gazing at her. Then he moved forward pulling her in and letting his nose brush past hers. His sudden movement spurred a sharp breath from her, and he gave her a moment to absorb the closeness of him. She leaned into him, her mouth opening into his.

"By the way," he said gently against her mouth, feeling her stop. "Androids don't need to charge."

His smile was automatic as he felt her whole body tense. He moved into her and closed his mouth over hers, noting how she seemed not to react. When he pulled away, she was still frozen in a kind of terror, her eyes narrowed and her mouth clenched.

He ran his hand over his shirt again and moved to gather his shoes, hearing a tense sigh and one last silent " _fuck"_ escape her.


	27. Chapter 27: What a Wonderful World

Kate wouldn't have been able to describe the next few days if she tried. The change she felt in her own outlook on their situation was so startling, she nearly frightened herself. It was her own lack of fear that made her so worried. For the first time, she was able to slow down and simply exist without constantly second guessing every move she made. She felt confident. Secure. Safe. And most important of all, she wasn't alone.

Surprisingly, Simon hadn't turned any heads when he appeared out of his uniform. Richard had glanced curiously at him, eyeing the bland gray shirt as if he were looking for the CyberLife logo but never mentioned it or looked at it again. Taylor was conspicuously absent, although Kate wondered if her lifestyle was similar to her own in that Taylor preferred to avoid socializing. Occasionally Kate could hear the steady throb of music from the opposite corner of the house where she assumed Taylor's room was. Part of her wanted to simply crush her own social nervousness and stop by her room, at least to thank her for listening to her problems. But Kate silently wondered if she was just looking for a reason to change Taylor's mind about her opinions on androids.

They'd been spending less time in Kate's room, wandering the house and exploring the rooms that Kate hadn't seen in years. Simon led the way most of the time, questioning Kate about nearly everything. Some things were new, including what appeared to be a small workshop across from the library. Simon had walked through it slowly, examining each instrument and component which were mostly CyberLife technology but some small collections contained retro computer hardware. Kate had watched him with interest and had to put all her effort into containing the breathless thrill she felt seeing him in her t-shirt, the first thing she'd picked for him simply because she knew it would fit him.

Other areas of the house Kate had to explain to him as if she were a tour guide in a museum. She started with the library which was lined with picture frames scrolling through several slideshows of different stages in hers and her parents' lives. The living room had been updated although most of what she remembered had simply been moved to a different area. The dining room hadn't changed at all, and neither had the computer lounge although the technology had been updated. Without knowing why, she showed him the music box in the kitchen, and he gently opened it as she explained it to him, carefully wound a metal coil inside of it, and nearly froze her heart in her chest when he closed it again, bringing with it the nostalgic pinging of the song she'd almost forgotten.

It seemed as if the more uncomfortable his questions were about her past, the more eager she was to answer them. It felt less like she was tearing down the walls she'd built around herself, and more like she was building new ones to redefine what she thought was her tolerance threshold. He brought up the subject of her guitars and this time she had to make some attempt to show that not everything in her past was embarrassing. It took her a minute to retune the strings, and the muscle memory was sluggish although eventually she was able to relax on the floor of her room and strum out a grungy song which she even knew the words to. Simon watched her from the sofa in front of her bed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped in front of him and his head tilted to one side. She was somewhat proud of herself, and out of curiosity, handed him the guitar expecting him to pluck at it awkwardly. Her breath was stolen from her chest when he confidently rested it on his knee and expertly strummed a slow tune. She was even less prepared for the sound of his voice which was unbelievably smooth yet still undeniably his. When he'd finished, she furiously threw out every bit of self control she'd been holding onto, taking the guitar from him and dropping it loudly on the floor before climbing onto his lap and finally finding an excuse to pull that god-forsaken shirt off of him.

Detroit winter was ending early that year. The snow had fully melted and the wet landscape it left behind became saturated in greenery. The city was beautiful during the change in the seasons when the clouds broke apart and created rolling layers of dimension in the sky. It was still painfully cold, with mornings crystallized by a blanket of frost which melted in patterns of the shade as the sun moved across the house like a slow scan. A light wind rose in the afternoons, bringing with it a minor relief to the freezing air which mixed with the warm temperatures from the south. It was the only time of the day that was worth leaving the house for, and Kate took the opportunity to brave the cold and finally escape into the backyard.

She could tell Simon wanted to observe the stone architecture of the massive patio. He immediately moved to the raised planters that lined the stone steps to the pool, and he held his hand out as he moved along them so that he just grazed the tops of the ferns. Kate moved slowly past him, folding her sweater against her chest and letting him take his time. However, she didn't intend to stay long. There was a specific place she had in mind to visit.

She saw Simon look up as she made her way down the steps towards the pool. He seemed to get the idea, and she heard him move after her.

"Are you warm enough?" he said.

Kate shook her head. "Not in the least." She wrapped her arms tighter around herself, clenching the odd bulky sensor in her fist.

"Do you want me to get you a coat?"

She looked sideways at him as they moved onto the grass, giving him just enough of a scrutinizing glare to give him an answer but accompanied by a smile so he would know she wasn't serious. He seemed to understand, and resumed gazing at the trees as they walked.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"You'll see," said Kate. She raised herself up slightly as if it would help her see through the trees. "If it's still even here."

They reached the treeline and she spotted the familiar dirt path winding through the section of trees. It had faded considerably, and the fresh growth along with a blanket of pine needles made it blend into the untamed ground around it. She moved ahead, a strange eagerness taking hold of her. The water's edge was just visible in between the pillars of trunks, flashing bright white against deep black in the harshness of the afternoon sun. For a moment, a creeping dread twisted in her chest. She should have seen it by now. It was supposed to be right at the end of the path. She quickened her pace, and then a dark structure loomed to her left.

She slowed and let out a soft laugh as Simon moved next to her. The boat house was smaller than she remembered. And if it had been dilapidated before, it was almost in ruins now. The A-shaped frame jutted out into the water with winged attachments on either side. There was a gaping hole in the roof, and all of the windows were missing. The wooden balcony that wrapped around the front had collapsed in one area, creating a deadly pile of debris next to the lower entrance. Nature had reclaimed some sections, with young trees growing out of the planks and sides, and a creeping arm of ivy worked its way up onto the walkway. The place screamed of spiders. For a second, Kate had the temptation to turn around and give up.

But that old thrill was taking hold in her. She'd explored this dangerous playground countless times as a child, never having enough time to fully immerse herself before either her mother or father dragged her away from it. If it hadn't been for her father's incessant promises that he was going to restore the old building and add a new boat to match, the structure would probably have been torn down ages ago. She was glad to see that his promises had still held, or at least he'd forgotten about them.

Simon moved forward in front of her, gazing up at the building as he walked along the path. She watched him as he moved. There was something iconic about seeing his perfectly sculpted form in such a ruined environment, his LED blinking yellow against his temple. Kate suddenly wished she had a camera.

She moved after him, stepping up carefully next to him onto the rotted wooden porch. There were broken pieces of furniture on either side of the entrance that she didn't recognize, or perhaps she just didn't remember. The double doors were chained together, but whoever originally built the place had gone with glass doors which were now empty. The interior was dark and dusty, vague shapes of stacked furniture and equipment rising from the shadows. It was ominous.

Simon looked sideways at her, and she didn't need to return his gaze to see his concerned expression. "This place isn't safe," he said.

Kate glanced at him, that adventurous thrill pulling at her again. She threw him a challenging smile before stepping over the broken door frame and waving a hanging cobweb out of her face. There was a soft creak behind her which let her know Simon had followed her inside.

She hardly recognized anything. Not that the building had ever been in decent shape. At some point things had been organized at least into stacks, but they had toppled over through the years, breaking into pieces of wood and cushion. There were areas of clear space, draped in spiderwebs, and other areas that were impassable either from the damaged furniture or stored engine parts. In front of them was the boat dock which opened directly into the house, although it appeared that glass had originally separated the two areas. The old boat that Kate remembered was gone. It was odd to think that everything else looked untouched, but that someone had decided to get rid of the boat.

Kate moved towards the open space on the right, waving dust and webs out of her face. She went slowly, stepping over items on the ground that were too buried in dust to identify. "Yeah, this is definitely creepier than I remember."

"I wouldn't advise going upstairs." Simon gazed up at the ceiling. "This structure isn't entirely stable."

"Yep," said Kate, glancing up. "The hole in the roof is new." She stepped towards the dock, peering into the dark water. A solid oval shape waved just underneath the surface, and she realized that the boat wasn't gone. It had simply sunk.

She moved away from the dock, the dark depths and shapes giving her an unnerving case of thalassophobia. A plank crunched underneath her and she jumped back into the safety of the house, throwing a glance behind her. "I'm pretty sure this place is violating about a hundred safety codes."

"We should leave then," said Simon.

"Are you kidding me?" said Kate. She held the sensor in front of her and fumbled with the switches. "We have to at least try."

She could see Simon staring at her, and she couldn't hide her smile as she struggled to turn the instrument on. "What is that?" he asked.

"It's an EMF detector," she said. She looked up at him and shrugged her shoulders. "Look, I couldn't resist."

"Are you looking for electric cables?" he said. Even through the dark and haze, Kate could see him narrow his blue eyes.

"It's─" She pressed a palm to her forehead, already knowing how stupid this would sound. "Supposedly it detects ghosts."

He was quiet for a moment. "You said you don't believe in ghosts."

Kate laughed, finally hearing a small pop as the dial swung back and forth on the meter. "Yeah well, I'm up for having my mind changed." The dial fluctuated wildly, and she rotated around as she tried to pinpoint it. A light sigh left her. "Huh, I didn't really count on this."

She moved forward as the dial swung steadily upward, and it peaked as she found herself standing in front of Simon. She looked up at him, and he was gazing at her with a mix of curiosity and skepticism. She lowered the detector and blew a bit of hair out of her face. "Well, you make ghost hunting a little difficult."

He cocked his head to one side. "I don't see how electromagnetism confirms the presence of ghosts."

"It doesn't. It just…" Kate sighed, resting her back against the wall. "It's stupid. The belief that ghosts use electricity to manifest, they can't cross over water, they're either residual or intelligent, they use mirrors to pass from one world to the next… it's all bullshit."

Simon nodded towards the detector. "Then why do you look for them?"

She looked up at him, struggling to find a solid answer. A heavy sigh escaped her, and she waved the detector. "I guess because it's fun."

His eyes tensed for a moment, and she could see he was thinking. "How is bullshit fun?"

Kate fell forward slightly as she let out a burst of laughter, catching herself with her hands on her knees. She drew up, brushing her hair back and taking a deep breath as she failed to hide her smile. "That's how."

His LED spun yellow for a moment, and Kate couldn't help the guilty but satisfying feeling that she was making him terribly confused. She set the EMF detector down on a cluttered table, watching as the hand continued to swing back and forth wildly. "I don't know," she said, staring down at it. "There's something about not having a scientific answer to a really obvious problem that makes people want to come up with bullshit stories in order to explain it. Actually, the whole idea of ghost hunting is to prove that ghosts _aren't_ real."

Simon moved away, and she looked up to see him step towards the dock. He straightened carefully as he gazed into the murky waters. "It seems strange to believe that ghosts aren't real, yet still have a need to prove that they aren't real."

"Vanity," said Kate. She noticed the meter calmed as Simon moved further from it. "You get to rub it in the faces of people who do believe in ghosts if you're able to find a logical explanation for it. People see a curtain move and it doesn't occur to them that it's just the wind. Or they hear footsteps when it's really just a raccoon in their attic. I mean, if we're going by the EMF detector, you're the strongest evidence of ghosts so far."

He looked back at her as he moved further down the room, and Kate could see the smile in his blue eyes before he turned away to gaze at what appeared to be an old stereo. She watched him as he reached out and touched the panel on the front, getting no activity from it. He moved on through the boat house, and Kate felt that electric thrill burn through her at his inquisitiveness. It was as if he knew more about the world than he was willing to admit, and Kate found herself humbled by it.

The floorboards creaked under him as he gazed down one wing of the building, his form now only a black silhouette in the shadows. "What's the problem?" he asked.

Kate tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. "Huh?"

"The obvious problem." He looked towards her before turning towards the sitting area and moving along the front of the couches. "That people need to make up stories for in order to explain it."

It took longer than she expected for his question to make sense. She crossed her arms over her chest, struggling to find a straightforward answer. "I guess… it's death."

Simon paused and she saw his silhouette glance up at her. She shrugged her shoulders in an attempt to keep the mood light. "No one wants to die but I guess we're all headed towards it one way or another. It's the price we pay for being human."

There was a flash of yellow that Kate understood to be his LED. "You say that as if you're being punished."

Kate glanced down, gripping her arms. She let out a sigh. "Maybe we are. A lot of us waste our lives doing stupid things. Bad things." She watched as the meter went still besides the occasional twitch. "Another bullshit story we have is that we were punished with mortality for disobeying God and eating an apple from the tree that he told us not to eat from. Made us see the truth. We became aware of ourselves. So now instead of living forever, we get only a hundred years to completely screw up our lives."

Simon was silent. Kate looked up at him to see that he was still standing motionless in the sitting area, a yellow glow flashing against the wall next to him. "So in a sense you… deviated," he said.

A strange awe floated through her. She stared at Simon, and then laughed in disbelief. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could say that."

He looked away from her, and Kate could see from his posture that he was tense. His shoulders were drawn, and his head bowed. Through the shadows, she watched as he brought a hand up and rubbed the back of his neck.

Kate tilted her head. "Hey, are you okay?"

He seemed to pause for a moment, his hand resting against his neck. "I don't want to live forever."

The statement caught her off guard. A raw sense of reality fell over her as she absorbed what he'd said. She shifted uncomfortably to shake it somewhat. "Why not? No one wants to die."

He looked up at her, his face still hidden by the shadows. "But you'll die. Someday."

Her stomach twisted as she found herself unwittingly speculating what he was implying. His concern dawned on her, and she felt a sickening dread. It hadn't occurred to her that what she'd been saying would affect him in this way. His tense silhouette turned, and his fear was obvious even in the dim light of the boat house. Kate couldn't help but suddenly picture what it would be like for him years from now when this whole situation was completely different. When they would be physically incompatible. When she wasn't physically here at all. But Simon would be. He would experience all of it, and keep going long after.

She forced the thoughts out as quickly as she could, straightening and taking a deep breath. Her nervousness faded, replaced by artificial determination. "There's nothing we can do about it."

Simon paused in front of the stereo again, and this time she could see the worry in his blue eyes. He gazed at her, his eyebrows drawn so that they brought more worried light underneath them. "It makes me afraid to know that I can't stop it."

She met his gaze, and despite herself felt her heart skip a beat. She shook her head and gave him a small smile. "Then you're missing the point."

His worried expression narrowed slightly in confusion. Kate threw a glance to the side, her smile growing stronger. "It's not worth it to prove that ghosts exist, or that there's a god in the sky, or to come up with some magic pill that makes us live fifty years longer than we should," she said. "You can get obsessed with trying to find some loophole. Some evidence that everything doesn't just end when our bodies shut down. And the fact that you don't know for sure just makes you panic. It makes you worry about something that you have no control over and that's going to happen no matter what. You'll lose the only thing that you do have control over." She looked at him, and he was staring at her as though he was hanging on to her every word. She hung her head slightly so that her hair fell sideways. "How to make the most of the time that you don't know you have left."

There was a strange energy in his eyes, something between hope and concern. He glanced down and his jaw tensed. "I have five-hundred eighty-three years, one month and ninety-three days until my quantum battery loses its charge. I can replace it before that happens. As long as I'm not irreparably damaged in that time, there's no reason I won't essentially live forever." His gaze met hers, and she recognized the pain in his blue eyes. "But will it be worth living?"

"Yes." The abruptness of her statement surprised even Kate. She held onto it, a strange power filling her with strength. "It's always worth it to keep going."

Simon shook his head. "But without you─"

"Without me you'll still be just as important," she said. "If not to me then to someone else. In what you do, what you say, the changes you survive through. You'll take what you've gained and…" She shrugged her shoulders. "Carry it with you. Just like you will with everyone else you meet. It's the only way people can get through this crazy life when the people they love die, otherwise we'd be the most suicidal animals in existence. The only way we enjoy what we have is because we don't think about how we're eventually going to lose it."

Simon seemed to relax a bit, although Kate could still see the tension in his shoulders. He stared down at the stereo, his LED now spinning a calm blue. She knew he was still thinking about it, and she couldn't help the subtle guilt that crept through her. It was easy for her to tell him not to worry considering when that time eventually came, she wouldn't be the one left behind. A curiously fragile future lay ahead of them, and an even longer one would continue for him. She could try to imagine what that future would be like for him, but the anxious feeling was threatening to return. Instead she rooted herself back into the present, focusing on the chill of the air and the musty smell of the boat house.

Kate moved forward, raising her hand to touch a hanging chandelier that seemed to be displaying better artwork in the form of cobwebs than in the metalwork. There was clicking and grinding, and Kate threw a glance back to see that Simon had opened the top of the stereo and was working the electronics inside it with one hand. She turned away, walking carefully along an open path between the stored objects and the counter that ran along one wall. The shapes of the items were just barely identifiable underneath the layer of dirt and dust that coated them, revealing old fishing poles, jars of nuts and bolts, fishing lures, and looped coils of rope. A lingering sense of disappointment tugged at her chest as she examined the countertops. It was strange that someone had put so much effort into utilizing the boat house only for it to have been abandoned and taken back by nature.

"How would you choose to live your life?" said Simon. Kate stopped and looked back at him, and he glanced back up at her with a nervous expression that told her he was rethinking his own question. "In a perfect world, I mean."

Kate let out a small laugh. The casual tone of his voice had sounded unusually authentic. "I don't know," she said. "I thought I knew what that was but I think I was mostly just telling myself what I should want rather than going with what I really wanted. I guess it's easier for me to say what I don't want."

Simon looked up at her again, still working noisily on the stereo. Kate drew her shoulders up as she moved back towards the dock. "I don't want to just drift through life, taking the easy road and existing at bare minimum. I don't want to do what people tell me I should do, or even what I tell myself what I should do. I want to be able to change people's minds. Tell them they're capable of so much more and to question everything instead of just settling on what's easiest. I don't… I don't ever want to be satisfied."

She ran her hand through her hair as she tried to break down her thoughts a bit more. There was a blue line on Simon's wrist, and she realized that his skin had drawn back as he manipulated the different components inside the stereo. She gazed sideways at him. "I guess I don't know what the hell I want. I've spent so much time knowing what I don't want that I never really stop to think about what I actually want."

Simon kneeled, looking carefully at the panel with his blue eyes narrowed in focus. "Do you want to stay here with your father?"

"God no," she said, sighing and putting her forehead in her hand. "I want to get as far away from here as possible. I just don't know where, when, or how to do it." She rested her hands on the table in front of her, staring out at the lake. "This place has a way of making you feel stuck."

She watched as he pressed his hand to the panel, his LED flashing yellow. A curious fascination swept through her as the intricate blue lines on the exposed plastic of his hand also flashed in unison with his LED, something she had never noticed before. A small smile tugged at her mouth. "What about you?"

Simon looked up at her, a hint of surprise on his face. "Me?"

"Yeah." She turned around so that she rested back against the table, her hands gripping the edge. "What do you want to do with your life?"

He glanced down, and the lights on his hand went dark momentarily. "I suppose… I want to discover who I am. As a person."

Kate flexed her hands on the table as she smiled. "Well, you don't need to spend a whole lifetime to figure that out. Especially with the amount of time you have."

He raised his head slightly as he seemed to contemplate again. "Then I want to fly a ship."

Kate snorted, and then doubled over as she laughed. It took her a while to compose herself enough to look up at Simon who had resumed tinkering with the stereo, a sideways smile on his face.

"You want to fly the U.S.S Enterprise," said Kate, interrupting herself with a fit of laughter again. "You want to be in Star Trek… Simon…" She pinched the bridge of her nose as she shook. "Do you think the future is Star Trek?"

"I have no idea," he said. "I haven't been there yet."

Kate shook her head, unable to keep her laughter under control. "God, when people said I was obsessed with Star Trek, that should have been a warning."

"I can appreciate the realistic qualities of Star Trek," said Simon. "Progress, exploration, and stability."

Kate shook her head. "Well, you picked a hell of a life goal. I'm pretty sure it will take more than five-hundred years to accomplish galactic peace."

"Kate."

She looked down at him, and saw his eyebrows raised and his sideways smile still pulling at his lips. "I just want to fly a ship," he said.

Kate let out another laugh, pushing off from the table and running a hand through her hair. "Yeah, well you're probably going to have to wait a while for that one." She dragged her hand over the table and tapped on the EMF meter which was fluctuating again. Part of her wanted to elaborate on what he really meant, but somehow she felt that he wouldn't want to answer her. She could guess what he'd wanted to say. It really wasn't that hard. It had been obvious for the past few days. And the more time she spent with him, the more she felt it becoming a wonderfully solid part of her new life.

The EMF detector was making noise as it swung, and Kate brought herself out of her thoughts as she narrowed her eyes at it. The little instrument was going wild. She glanced curiously behind her, then moved the instrument further down the table. The signal became stronger. She looked up, expecting some kind of appliance or modern electronic that she had missed. Everything was dark and covered in dust. She looked down again, and picked up the meter. The needle swung, then rested quietly.

A burst of sound behind her caused her to jump. She spun, and with a hammering heart realized that the lights on the stereo had turned on, and the panel was dancing. Simon stood up and pressed his hand to the panel, and the blaring music faded to a tolerable level. Kate shook her head, calming herself with a deep breath and feeling generally impressed by the fact Simon had brought a twenty year old stereo back to life. As she moved away from it, her attention was grabbed by the EMF detector which had started to swing again.

The stereo noises were interrupted by static as the channels changed, bringing with it clips of news reports, country songs, advertisements, and hip hop. Kate gazed through the shadows and drifting dust at the workshop in front of her. It was too dark to confidently identify any of the equipment, and she felt an eerie intrigue sweep over her. She held the EMF detector in front of her, and the meter swung to the extreme. Her eyes tensed, and she gazed over the instrument at the pile of parts. It was nonsense. Bullshit. But at the same time, she couldn't help a growing apprehension which formed in her stomach.

She heard something move behind her, and she glanced back to see that Simon had stepped away from the stereo and was standing next to her. A soft smile lit his face, and it took Kate a moment to realize he was holding his hand out to her.

She stared at him, her mind struggling to understand what he meant. Then she noticed the music that the stereo had been playing quietly. It was a slow symphony, something that might be played at a formal wedding or dinner party with a hint of jazz. As the apprehension in her gut wrenched tighter, she recognized the song as a slower version of What a Wonderful World.

Kate immediately shook her head before she could stop herself. "Oh god. Oh no, I'm not─" She sucked in a terrified gasp as Simon moved into her, taking the detector from her hand and setting it on the table before clasping her hand in his. Her heart hammered in her chest as she watched his every movement. "Simon─ oh god, please don't make me do this." His hand was at her waist, and she buried her face in his shoulder as she attempted to hide her terrified grin. "Christ, I'm gonna die…"

His cheek pressed lightly against her temple as he swayed gently back and forth, and Kate could feel his smile. She clutched his shoulder, her eyes tightly closed as her blinding panic expressed itself in the form of tense laughter. She felt him flex his hand in hers, and a breathtaking thrill mixed with her panic. This was so humiliating. So shockingly unexpected. But as he pulled her closer into him, moving her in a general rhythm with the slow beat of the song, she found herself wishing it would never end.

She bit her lip as she forced her body to relax, willing herself to simply accept that she was doing this with him. For the moment, she was content to simply hide her face in his neck, gripping his shoulder in a way that passed as what she thought was correct but still enough off-center that she could excuse herself from being too enthusiastic about it. Simon, on the other hand seemed completely at ease, one hand on the curve of her waist and the other hand holding hers carefully as though it were made of glass. He acted as though he'd done this a thousand times.

The soft feel of his skin and the fresh linen scent of his body was starting to take over. Kate felt her heart begin to pound for an entirely different reason, and she pulled herself away slightly so that she could look up at him. It didn't help. That teasing smile was still on his lips, and every detail from the kind look in his eyes to the faint freckles on his skin was making Kate feel as though she were floating. She shut her eyes and smiled to keep herself grounded. "I've never done this before in my _life,"_ she said.

His shoulders jolted and Kate felt him let out a breath of laughter. When she opened her eyes, his smile had grown more compassionate. She felt the air nearly freeze in her chest as he leaned in slightly. "Neither have I," he said.

That floating feeling was in control now. Kate's head spun, and for a second she couldn't tell if they were moving or standing still. With a desperate but relieved surrender, she let out a breath and fell into him, pressing her forehead to his cheek and losing herself in the close feel of him. Her body finally relaxed, her eyes closing and every sensation heightened to take in every aspect of him. The angled shape of his shoulder was driving her insane as she held onto him, every ridge from his collarbone to the muscles and dips in his neck was too perfect, and the way he moved… the gentle sway that was enough to be considered dancing but slow so that they stayed in one place. She could do this. She could let herself go and never find herself again. It hardly seemed a worthy sacrifice compared to the elation he was filling her with.

She tilted her head, opening her mouth and drawing in a helpless breath of air against his neck. "How do you always know how to do this…"

His thumb smoothed down hers, and she felt electric sparks as he grazed her wrist. "Do what?" he said barely above a whisper. The sound of his voice made her curl herself against him, and she braved letting go of his hand so that she could touch his face.

"This," she said. It was difficult for her to control her own voice, as if she didn't have the strength to fully speak. "Taking my breath away. Draining all the power out of me in the most─" She felt her breath hitch as she drew her hand along his neck, running her thumb over his cheek. "─ _provocative_ way. As if this is what I was made for. Everything I'm afraid of, everything that I'm trying to hide from is what's keeping me alive." She ran her hand back and laced her fingers into his hair, pressing her body into him. She let out a breath and absorbed the feel of his cheek against her forehead. "You're saving me."

His hands were sliding up and along her back, his swaying getting slower. She felt him open his mouth near her ear. "Keep going," he said.

She smiled, pressing her lips to his neck so that he could feel it. "I thought I would never feel like this. I thought this was something I should avoid. That I was better than it like it was a sin. That feeling of being terrified and in ecstacy at the same time." Simon let out a breath and tilted his head so that he pressed his open mouth to her cheek. His hands were tightening against her, and Kate fought the urge to drop her head back. "I said I didn't know if a million other people are like us. Simon… if there's no one else in the world who feels this, who feels what you make me feel, then we exist somewhere else." She drew her hand back along his jaw and ran her thumb over his bottom lip, her heart nearly bursting from her chest as she breathed heavily against his neck. "Every time I think I can't fall any more in love with you than I already am, you prove me so wrong. And my whole world falls apart…"

His sudden breath was hot against her skin, and he brought his hands up to hold either side of her neck, his fingers sliding through her hair. Kate's body was electrified as she breathed against his open mouth, his nose pressed to her cheek. There was a buzzing, and she gripped the front of his shirt as she felt her mind open up. He flooded her with his presence, every part of her becoming deliciously exposed. She fought for air as he ran both his thumbs over her cheeks.

"Tell me," he whispered against her mouth. His head fell slightly sideways, and he breathed in as she breathed out. "Tell me, Kate…"

She found herself faltering, the urgency in his voice making it too precious to say. She knew what he wanted. He wanted her to say it out loud in a way that he could believe it. In a way that she would believe it. Even though every part of her was burning so strongly that she knew he would be able to feel what she was going to say. It was terribly overdue. She should have done this a long time ago.

She slid her hands further up along his neck as she breathed into him, drawing up her strength. The tension in his body was nearly sending her into a frenzy. "Simon," she barely managed to whisper. "Simon, I lo─"

A sudden crashing made her jump into him. She threw her arms around him and he caught her, stumbling back a few steps. Her heart was pounding so hard she thought it would leap from her chest. After a few belligerent moments, she looked up.

Simon had an arm around her waist and his other around her shoulder with his hand in her hair, forming a protective shield around her. He was gazing towards the workshop, and although Kate couldn't see his LED, his expression was narrowed in confusion. She followed his gaze, frantically analyzing the shadows.

Nothing moved. She couldn't see what had fallen, although from the sound of it, it had been something massive. Her mind was scrambling on overdrive, struggling to comprehend the situation. She didn't know if she should be afraid. Her mind was trapped in a strange limbo of emotions. As they stood in silence, the stereo continued on behind them, moving on to a different tune.

Kate slowly loosened herself from his grip, standing straighter to look for the source of the sound. "What the hell was that?"

Simon was standing perfectly still, his eyes still narrowed as he scanned the room. Kate glanced at him, and then her eyes fell to the EMF detector. Her stomach lurched as she saw it was twitching in the red.

"We should go," said Simon.

Kate shook her head in disbelief. "You've got to be fucking─"

There was another loud bang from somewhere in the corner of the room. A burst of panic sent Kate stumbling backwards towards the exit. " _Holy shit!"_

Simon was moving quickly after her, and without thinking, she bolted through the room, leaping through the broken double doors and slowing as she reached the trees. Simon slowed next to her, turning sideways to look back at the boat house.

"Are you serious?" Kate laughed as she ran her hands through her hair, a giddy panic still coursing through her. "There's no way. No way that actually happened."

Simon threw a glance at her as they walked, and she could see the corners of his mouth tensed in a skeptical smile. She fell forward slightly as she struggled to contain her laughter, a frustrating stubbornness holding her fast. "Did you see what it was?" she asked.

"Only a glimpse," said Simon. He raised a blond eyebrow at her. "I doubt it was a ghost."

"Well, what was it? An animal?" Kate looked through the trees, a bubbly chill gripping her as if expecting to see it right next to them. "Was it a cougar? I can't remember if there's cougars out here."

"If it was a cougar we'd probably be dead," said Simon. Kate let out a laugh, gazing at him.

"Are you saying you couldn't take on a cougar?" she said. Simon gave her the same scrutinizing glare with a smile that she had given him earlier which on his face made his blue eyes look even more intense.

"A cougar would rend and destroy me in seconds," he said.

Kate stared at him, then raised her eyebrows as she glanced away. "Well, that sucks. I guess I'd have to get a regular boyfriend."

Simon was silent. Kate let it sink in for a moment, knowing he was probably fuming inside. She moved slightly sideways and bumped his shoulder without looking. When she finally did, his expression was narrowed and tense. He gazed back at her, and she gave him a weak apologetic smile. She held it there, and then she saw it. The corners of his mouth tensed, and he quickened his pace after her.

She stepped sideways out of the trees, holding her hand up. "Don't you─"

Simon made a grab for her and she darted backwards across the grass. "Don't take it so personally!" she said. The bright smile on his face as he lunged forward again was utterly contagious, and Kate couldn't stop her own smile as she dodged him again. He seemed to be purposely letting her escape, his long smooth strides too carefully placed for him to be failing so miserably, with an occasional jump when she was close enough. Kate walked backward in front of him, raising a finger towards him. "You can't expect me to spend the rest of my life like a vestal virgin─"

Simon bolted forward, and she let out a shriek as she felt his shoulder on her stomach and the ground loomed up in front of her. Her shriek turned into a laugh as she frantically clutched at his shoulders to stay steady. "Oh my god, what the fuck─"

She screamed again as she felt him purposely tip her backwards over his shoulder so that her legs nearly flipped. She scrambled to grab at his back, adrenaline burning through her as she centered again, half-screaming and half-laughing nonsense. "Jesus Christ what the hell are you trying to do─ don't fucking drop me─"

His hand loosened around her legs for just a moment, and Kate felt another burst of adrenaline causing her to grab at him and let out another shriek. She clenched her eyes shut as she laughed uncontrollably, her body beginning to ache at how hard she'd been laughing. Just as his shoulder was beginning to get uncomfortable, the ground disappeared, and Kate felt pressure across her back as she found herself looking up at him. He carried her with one arm under her shoulders and the other supporting under her knees. She panted heavily, wishing she could stop laughing for just a moment so she could catch her breath. The expression on his face was making it hard for her to do that. His blue eyes were bright, wrinkled at the corners along with his smile that Kate was so unused to. He didn't just look happy. He looked proud, surprised, relieved, and so many other things all at the same time. It didn't take long for her to understand. He was happy because she was happy.

He twisted slightly and dropped her legs so that she could stand in front of him, but she held him to her with her arms wrapped over his shoulders. She couldn't tear her eyes away from his expression. It was so rare. So beautiful. And the breathless feeling it was filling her with made this seem unbelievably precious. She wanted to see him do this more. It was only a small thing to wish for.

She saw him glance up towards the house and then his eyes fell on her, his smile threatening to drop. A small panic burned through her.

"We'd better get back inside," he said. "It's going to be dark─"

"I love you," she said.

Simon tensed, his blue eyes widening and his mouth opening as if he'd been stunned. Kate held onto his neck, pressing her thumbs against his jaw and moving closer into him. "I love you, Simon. I love you. God I love you."

She breathed against his mouth, an electric cascade washing over her. His hands were tight against her sides and he seemed to hold her back. She drew back slightly, gazing up at him to see that his blue eyes were somewhat nervous although she recognized the desperation in them. She straightened and glanced away.

"Is someone watching?" she asked. She looked back up at him and saw his eyes flick back towards the house. He gave a slow nod.

Kate brought her hands up higher, running her thumbs along his cheeks as she felt what she thought was apprehension. That electricity was coursing through her body, forcing her into action. She breathed heavily as she gazed at his face, every feature of him throwing her senses into chaos. When she met his eyes again, she let it overwhelm her.

She bit her lip and tightened her hands on him. "I don't care."

She raised herself, twisting into him as she pulled him in and closed her mouth against his. The debilitating closeness of him brought back that feeling of floating on air, and she paused against him to let him accept this. Then he pulled her in by the waist, his hands climbing up her back as he took her mouth, drawing in a deep breath against her cheek. Kate arched into him as she drew her hand up his neck and into his hair, pulling him tighter into her. She couldn't get enough of this. The tension in his body, the pressure of his hands on her back, the saline taste of his mouth, and the overwhelming feeling that he was experiencing the same thing with her. It was unbelievable.

His hand ran along her side and she felt him cup her neck with his fingers laced in her hair as he brushed his nose against hers, twisting to the other side and taking her mouth again. Kate fell further into him, her body losing strength as she let him wrap himself around her. When he paused against her, she pulled away just enough to meet his eyes. He gazed at her for a moment, breathing heavily so that his breath warmed her lips. Then the corners of his eyes wrinkled again, and Kate was swept away by his elated smile.

She felt herself smiling as well, spurred on by his own energy and noticing that it made his expression stronger. When she moved back into him, her lips brushed his, and there was a satisfying tension in his mouth as she closed her mouth against it. She hoped that every time she did this with him that it would feel as good as it did now. It was worth every risk.


End file.
